Well firstly I'd question whether both of you are even typed right - the free online tests are not an accurate way to type yourself. Then there is age/maturity and as a girl Fi might be more of a priority than it is for Luke's father. I'm an INTJ who considered S for a long time, the differences really aren't that huge between Si and Ni. If you were considering someone who used Se lots they might drive you insane with their very "exactly as it is" attitude, but Si not so. (No offense to Se users :happy
If you feel a connection give it a go - if she is an insensitive ST you can just break it off, it's only your feelings to get hurt. Go really deep really fast, if it blows up forget about it. Going slowly will only give you more fond memories to reminisce about in the future.
*advice coming from someone who's never had a relationship and is looking at it very logically :blushed:*
"as a girl Fi might be more of a priority"
The ISTJ will look after you and deal with those little everyday things that really irritates us in a very efficient way. It's up to the individuals to let it develop in a "healthy symbiosis" or a very unhealthy "mothering/fathering" relationship. The ISTJ can thrive on this role or resent they always have to do everything. The INPF could be in heaven or be patronised until they have no confidence left. Depends.
If you want profound, big picture, emotional conversations in which you open yourself up to another individual and you find this amazing connection because they "get" you..find yourserlf friends or family to do this with. With the ISTJ is not going to happen. Simple, don't sweat it or you'll feel lonely. You'll find the only conversations that will work will be about practical details, immediate issues, tangible things around you...sensing territory and totally alien to us! haha.
Thats what I have been doing!!! Lol. I think that is good to a point but it gets to be unhealthy. There needs to be a plan for sure but the best thing any of us can do is be our selves. Awareness is Curative, be your best self! So gaudy316 would you consider asking that "cute, very quiet, and has never had a romantic relationship" ISTJ girl out sometime? Or do you not want to hinder the friendship?"I've thought about her for a long time in my head (INFP thing) and played out our relationship."
We do have the same values and I have great respect for her opinions. Well I don't agree with all of them 100% but we do talk about the pro's and con's openly. One of the biggest things is that she takes the time to talk me. you have to understand for me that is huge!!! I will have a bad day or sometimes a bad week and I'll just call her up and say, "hey want to get some coffee of something?" Out of all my friends she is the one that listens to me."However, I totally think it can work out great if you guys are committed to understanding eachother, respecting your differences, working out compromises, and if you have similar values."
Do you know how important that is?!?!? My whole life has been up in the air for so long and I am so sick and tired of it! I want things to come down and be predictable, you know? Sure it could be boring once in a while but I know want its like to be busy all the time with everything flying around and chaotic. I do need peace once in awhile."It will be a very cosy, safe relationship, where you would do lot's of familiar things, cosy nights in, very structured, predictable and dependable."
Um I think that she does get me to a point. But thats not really for me to decide. One thing that I found out very early on in our friendship is that she likes poetry, hehe and I love to write poetry! So do I connect with her in deep emotional ways? I think with a little time and patience it could happen."If you want profound, big picture, emotional conversations in which you open yourself up to another individual and you find this amazing connection because they "get" you..find yourserlf friends or family to do this with. With the ISTJ is not going to happen. Simple, don't sweat it or you'll feel lonely."
"Do I even know who my gold medal is? Not even! I guess it's a typical thing for me (or us INFPs?) do: save ourselves up for THE ONE or whoever we're really infatuated with (whoever comes first)"
Thanks Man!"I totally am not discouraging you to go for the ISTJ girl you have in mind. In fact, based on your wants (response to the 'cozy, predictability') I'd say go for her. You never know when you hit gold until you dig, right"
First, the only reason I am bring this up is because I want you to not make the mistake I made (just looking out for you). Now that said, intoxication will happen if the girl likes you and wants you! But the real problem I have with my girl is, she does like me and wants me, but if she allows her feelings to come out then there is that feeling of being vulnerable, and she senses that then pulls back. How well do you know this ISTJ girl? Is she in-touch with her feelings? Or is that all closed up inside of her? It is something that happens to everyone at some time or another, the feeling of I can let anyone see the "Real" me. If that's the case then I bet you might know what has caused this to happen to her. Awareness is Curative!"I want a relationship that's a bit more intoxicating"