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Hi,
I am an INFP and for the last 2 years I've been feeling this loneliness and i don't know how to cope with that. So I started researching and I kinda have the feeling it seems to be one INFP problem (not just, but also). I don't know about the rest of you, but I really just wanna find somebody I connect with (relationship-wise) but I don't seem to find somebody. On the one hand I want a relationship, but on the other hand I don't think that this is gonna solve the problem. Do you, my INFP friends, often or sometimes feel the same that you're gonna die alone? All what I want is this intimacy, deep talk kinda stuff. But I can't have that with my friends or my family so I don't really know what to do about that.
PS: It was not my intention to sound like a total Drama Queen.
 

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Story of every INFP's life ever? Hahahaha, but seriously I've felt this way often in the past. Now in terms of intimacy and deep conversations, I've kind of just given up on having deep conversations with anyone but myself. I really do know the feeling of wanting someone, somewhere with you, to connect with. It can be hard finding someone who meets our way of thinking enough to satisfy us. I guess I don't have any advice much but keep searching but don't be too downcast if you don't find anyone, and if you find another INFP, talk to them because maybe they'll want the same thing.
 

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If you never dare to attach to someone or some kind of framework, you will indeed die alone. We scare people away with not choosing a side. We treat our friends like they're strangers, like they don't mean anything for us, like we're not capable of giving them infinite love. People like to know or be re-assured that they're loved (like you're doing).
 

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*sigh* Yeah.

Not sure if anybody else has this problem, but mine is I think I read way too much into people's intentions, especially those of the ones closest to me. However, I know I shouldn't be so cynical, so I don't take action on it, and it eats away at me. Since it all happens in the head, it just sort of develops into loneliness or self alienation from others in the long run. This cynical attitude is hard to control, because I think INFP's nature is to naturally always read into the intentions of what people do or don't do.
 

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Yeah me too. This seems to be a big problem for INFPs and INTPs. But I've gotten used to it by now. I don't mind being alone, but I miss having people to talk to. We N-types are so few! The other day I was with my ISFJ-becoming-a-friend and we were doing stuff I don't normally do (basically all my friends are N-types except for this one). She wanted to go to this mall and check out a hot guy who works there, so we did that and it was a shallow activity but a bit fun, and then we grabbed a coffee and I let her talk about bags and guys and parties and people I don't know, topics that don't really interest me, and she told me how boring she finds politics and how she doesn't really care for people (besides her friends and family of course). At least we found common ground in that we both are into psychology :wink: she's very nice but, yeah we are different.

Point is: I rarely meet people that enjoy the same kind of activities or topics of discussion as me... and it makes me feel lonely. Going out dancing, checking out random hot guys, going shopping, all this seem to be S-girl activities and there are so many of them, you can't help but feel like an alien in their company! So I stick to myself or the few N-types I have in my life. Friends, if you find a fellow N-type GRAB HIM OR HER AND DON'T LET GO!!!

I think it will make us feel less lonely, just knowing we have each other :happy:
 

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Yeah me too. This seems to be a big problem for INFPs and INTPs. But I've gotten used to it by now. I don't mind being alone, but I miss having people to talk to. We N-types are so few! The other day I was with my ISFJ-becoming-a-friend and we were doing stuff I don't normally do (basically all my friends are N-types except for this one). She wanted to go to this mall and check out a hot guy who works there, so we did that and it was a shallow activity but a bit fun, and then we grabbed a coffee and I let her talk about bags and guys and parties and people I don't know, topics that don't really interest me, and she told me how boring she finds politics and how she doesn't really care for people (besides her friends and family of course). At least we found common ground in that we both are into psychology :wink: she's very nice but, yeah we are different.

Point is: I rarely meet people that enjoy the same kind of activities or topics of discussion as me... and it makes me feel lonely. Going out dancing, checking out random hot guys, going shopping, all this seem to be S-girl activities and there are so many of them, you can't help but feel like an alien in their company! So I stick to myself or the few N-types I have in my life. Friends, if you find a fellow N-type GRAB HIM OR HER AND DON'T LET GO!!!

I think it will make us feel less lonely, just knowing we have each other :happy:
These are my exactly feelings.

Not to sound snowflakey but I do struggle with finding common interests. I feel most people my age are into clubbing, getting drunk, shopping, tanning etc. They go to work during the week, club on the weekend, rinse and repeat. Their conversations are about how drunk they got on the weekend and how hangover they were the next day.

I do meet interesting people whose lives are more than that but I think most people enjoy doing the basic partying/dating stuff. Nothing wrong with it but I just can't relate.
 
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Honestly I don't think it's an INFP thing, because loneliness is not something I experience. I think I experienced it once in my life, in my early twenties, and it didn't last very long. I have this NF friend who constantly tells me "I'm so lonely" and I just don't get it. I can only pat the on the back and be supportive, but I really have no advice because I know that the reason I don't experience loneliness is because I feel deeply connected to myself and to the Universe. Deeply. It's unbreakable. When you feel connected and rooted in those two things, loneliness doesn't exist, but that's just my personal experience.

Whenever I miss one of my loved ones because they're away, I just miss them. I don't feel lonely. They are very different feelings. To me loneliness implies this terrible void inside. I've never felt a void. Like I said, maybe once a decade ago when I was severely depressed. And depression is no other than feeling disconnected from the Universe, (and sometimes yourself, although not always).
 
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Hi,
I am an INFP and for the last 2 years I've been feeling this loneliness and i don't know how to cope with that. So I started researching and I kinda have the feeling it seems to be one INFP problem (not just, but also). I don't know about the rest of you, but I really just wanna find somebody I connect with (relationship-wise) but I don't seem to find somebody. On the one hand I want a relationship, but on the other hand I don't think that this is gonna solve the problem. Do you, my INFP friends, often or sometimes feel the same that you're gonna die alone? All what I want is this intimacy, deep talk kinda stuff. But I can't have that with my friends or my family so I don't really know what to do about that.
PS: It was not my intention to sound like a total Drama Queen.
The only INFP-specific problem is they are the most likely to realize the truth that all humans, like all other animals are substantially lone, all the time -- behind appearances.
The "problem" is in a keener and deeper perception, that other types -- vouchsafed an infinite self-deception ability, as the Fes for example are, or less sensitive -- are spared from.

What makes all of us lone, all the time, I would not expound on.
Let's say that for that law of human relations to be broken... they should forsake things like pride, vanity, lying, ... and others, that they apparently can't stomach giving away. This could be turned into an essay, but I see no reason to.

You don't sound like a total Drama queen, not even like a partial Drama Queen truth be told.
Just a tad -- ok, two tads! -- insecure...

All what I want is this intimacy, deep talk kinda stuff. But I can't have that with my friends or my family so I don't really know what to do about that.
Are you sure you want it?
I have met people convinced they thirsted for exactly that, but then they ran away.
Talking to someone that, when you smile at them, sees the sad lips behind the smile, when you present them your mask sees the face behind it, and the soul behind the face when you want to show them your face, can be nightmarish...

Like being mentally naked against one's will.
 
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