I slept with a ton of people in my teens, twenties and early 30's , way too many. Eventually went to therapy for it, realized I was trying to subconsciously get the love I never got from my cold distant mother as a kid, and now for the last few years I'm terrified of casual sex, haha, crap one extreme to the other.
Also I've probably drank straight from your juice containers without using a cup, as well as looked thru your medicine cabinets at one time or another.
I think I would do pretty much anything with pretty much anyone, sexually... all they have to do... is ask. I especially will if I don't give a crap. Maybe not if they mean something to me, because then I feel obligated to make sure something is "real" first.
I always boast about love, romance, and the pride I take in children. The dream of being a father...
Back when I didn't understand periods exactly, a girl told me we didn't have to use protection based on a time in the cycle. She ended up getting pregnant and we were far too young to take care of a child.
No one else knows, but we had an abortion. As I watched her on the table, I felt like the devices took the life out of her. She was never the same after. It felt like she had just been raped and I stood by and watched.
I have low self confidence, I think I'm bisexual, I have some weird inferiority complex, I feel like I am really old at 24. Hmm, what else....I don't want to live past 60, I change my mind everyday, am scared to death to live a boring life, I want to do all kinds of drugs but am too chicken, and I have this weird feeling that I am going to die before I am 30.
I was such a good lesbian, and now, starting only recently, I have a growing desire to experiment with heterosexuality. But that would be quite wrong, wouldn't it, because that's all I would be doing, it wouldn't mean anything, and some poor sucker would fall in love with me while I was merely using him to satisfy a curiosity.
Ok, I am a bad girl. I will admit it. What I do but wish I did not do is hard to open up on the internet. But here goes.
I secretly have a rating system which all people are entered in my head. The highest rating a person gets depends on how much love they show. The more love the higher the rating. The lowest rating goes to people that show only anger, hostility or no emotions at all. This is something I want to change and have been working on it but so far I don't see any value in people that don’t show love.
I don't like it but sometimes I feel like I don't feel a thing. Sometimes I worry that I might have psychopathy (watched dexter, scared me how much i sorta seemed like him) but at other times I feel too much so I doubt it's possible. If i have anything, it might be antisocial disorder? SOmetimes I don't know what i feel.
I'm extremely gullible but sometimes I act way more gullible than I really am, same goes with modesty, or maybe modesty.
I'm at the point where I don't really believe what my parents say and after almost 19 years of hearing that I'm cute or whatever, i've started not to believe it.
In 9th grade my first boyfriend told me he thought I was beautiful and I laughed in his face.
I can be extremely cold because I''m afraid of getting hurt by people.
I'm too forgiving. I forgive people that I shouldn't.
1. I love you all, even though I don't always show it.
2. I consider myself to be sexually open. I would say bisexual, but I have yet to be really attracted to a woman...but I am open to the idea because I don't think that love should acknowledge gender past the penis-vagina stuff.
3. I'm secretly more vain than I should be...:sad:
4. I secretly love it when people tell me that I'm a good person, even though I force myself to be modest.
5. I'm not-so-secretly addicted to Facebook. :dry:
6. Sometimes I leave my clothes in the hamper after laundry and go from there instead of putting them away. :crazy:
7. I love that person more than I can express and it scares the hell out of me.
8. I'm actually kind of enjoying this...
On a lot of levels I find it hard to care - I wish I could but I don't.
I've been somewhat estranged from my mum up until pretty recently - at least compared to how we used to be so close when I was a kid. Not because of anything she's done - she's a fundamentally good person. I just ... couldn't stand to be around her when I was a teenager. I knew she was hurting, but I couldn't stop myself from reacting this way.
My mind feels foggy - I feel like I could be so much more intelligent if only I could push through that fog.