Back in 2020 I bought my friends' place. And now, just a little over 3 years later, I did it again. It is kind of funny how that all worked out, as it was not only just out of convenience, nor was it simply granted to me as a sort of preferred buyer. We let the market run its course and used official channels for the bidding.
And besides; the house, the location, the neighbourhood, the town... it just fits with my wishes over everything else I have seen on the market in the past year or so. The housing market has been brutal over here in NL over the past 4 years. For better and for worse, depending on whether or not you got ''into'' the pool of home-ownership or not.
Yet, I can't shake the feeling... my friend now has a family of his own now and i'm still flying solo through life. Spiritually it feels kind of strange to follow in his footsteps and remain so connected to him in some ways (i've known him since I was 2 years old or so). Our lives turned out so different, but they still co-exist or intersect in profound ways. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if our roles were in reverse, when I would be him and he would be me;
- Would I be happier, or not?
- Would I be more at peace, or not?
- Would I feel more fulfilled, or not?
- Would my life feel more like a developing story and feel less aimless?
Don't get me wrong, I am still proud of my own achievements and success, which are of a different kind. But in the end I don't think the essence of living a life as a human is to amass degrees, skills, wealth and assets alone. Though these are things that are within my own control. It is a narrative I can steer, and in all honestly that is what I like. I know I couldn't live a life just randomly and all adventurous. I am a control-freak. One that .... ''sometimes'' .... likes to be impulsive.
I just don't want another 5 or 10 years to go by like this; meaning simply ''me, myself and I'' enjoying my spacious house that has no story, no spirit, no soul to it. It's just space ....
I know I do it for myself, and that is fine. But mehh.... there must be more to it. I can't just go play house by myself and pretend to have a life
. But okay, at least I won't have crappy neighbours any longer. That alone is a true godsend. I will celebrate that like a INFP
. That means me sitting in a chair and enjoy the utter silence. I need my peace and quiet. Soon I don't have to deal with other peoples' noise and overall ignorance any more like in my current place.
That's just so invaluable. True INFP heaven.