Do you ever feel as though you are not worthy of being in a relationship were you are loved and accepted for who you are?
Basically, yes, and the short answer is "I'm enneagram 4". However, I'd rather discuss this in more personal terms than theoretical ones.
Specifically, my feeling can be (and yes, it's a distorted feeling), "I don't want to burden someone else with ME." That's certainly a form of not feeling worthy, but I tend to view it as a sort of kindness to someone else to stay away from them....
I'm reminded of that Fiona Apple song "Fast As You Can"....a few lines from it:
I let the beast in too soon
I don’t know how to live without my hand on his throat
I fight him always & still...
Oh darling, it's so sweet, you think you know how crazy, how crazy I am
You say you don’t spook easy, you won’t go, but I know
and I pray that you will
Fast as you can, baby, run, free yourself of me
Fast as you can
I may be soft in your palm
but I’ll soon grow hungry for a fight,
and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will disprove your faith in man
So if you catch me trying to find my way into your heart
from under your skin
Fast as you can, baby, scratch me out, free yourself
Fast as you can
Have you met someone that makes you feel as though you are worthy and accepted for who you are, and if so, how did it make you feel?
Yes I have, and it feels wonderful. More so now than when I was younger, I will believe that feeling too. I will allow it to be as valid if not more than the feeling that says I'm not good enough.
But still, other times, I revert to the old feeling that if they knew me better, they'd feel differently. I have this feeling like the closer someone gets to me, the less they will like me, and that I am doomed to be abandoned because I'm inherently flawed to a point that no one would or should want to deal with me. But I swear, my thinking doesn't fall into that line much anymore!
Where do feelings of "I am not worthy of something better" come from?
I'm not one to stick around in a bad relationship... but I may avoid relationships (or opportunities) period, because I don't feel like I can bring what is needed to it. I feel deficient in some way. I can be something of an underachiever because I don't have confidence in my own strengths. I don't put up with abuse, I just don't aim very high.
Why might someone want to return to a relationship where they are "comfortable", but may lack any emotional connection at all?
You got me on this one, because I'm not one to do that.
If I could imagine myself EVER doing that, then I can think of only one main reason: a deep sense of commitment & feeling a moral obligation to fulfill it.
Why do people sometimes feel as though they are not worthy of a relationship that is mutually caring, with lots of communication, understanding and no desire to change 'the other'?
IDK, I feel I am deserving of this, but I feel like no one deserves me (if that makes sense). I think that other people deserve better than me, or at least, that they can probably get better. I feel like most people would be better suited to someone else, that I can't make them happy, because I'm just too weird or something. Again, instead of staying in a bad relationship or seeking out something to settle for, I just stay alone.
I imagine other people feel that's the best they can do though, and I guess they'd rather have someone than no one. It may depend on how well they cope with being alone or not.