[yesiknowbut]

Hi all.

This is a bit longand I'm sorry for that, but bear with me.

I have been pondering my birth family, and I think probably my sister is INFP. Certainly we are very different in terms of personality. I have never really understood her, nor she me, and there is a 9 year age gap (she's older) so we didn't grow up together. But I would like to get to know her better. I like her quirky insight, her quiet keen observation of people, her general goodness, and I admire her bravery and political stance (she has lived in the middle East, done "good works" in a couple of countries there, causes you might not imagine but really important, I believe, and not without risk). She believes passionately in stuff that I ....don't, like homeopathy, reflexology, naturopathic herbalism, and stuff that I do, like organic gardening, the preservation of species, cultural heritage, for all peoples' cultures, and human rights. She can be surprisingly obstinate and fixed in her beliefs. The only time we nearly came to a major disagreement was when she seriously tried to persuade our mother to take only herbal remedies for her cancer.

I think, however, that she like most of my family, finds me a little difficult. The ENTP's directness can be hard to handle for Fi types. I am actually nicer and more well-meaning than they give me credit for, but I have no idea if this worry of mine is real or me being over-sensitive.

So two questions: is she INFP? and how do INFPs generally feel about ENTPs?

 

[bobdaduck]

The only one who can tell what personality type someone is is the person themselves, but I can offer insight as to what INFP's think of ENTPs

I only know what confirmed ENTP, so I don't have a lot to base on, but I do consider him a nice friend. I feel like he's just a friend on a superficial level though; I can't really seem to go into very deep topics because he presents himself so much as "this is what I think, so this is the way it is."

 

[yesiknowbut]

Ti vs. Fi?

 

[bobdaduck]

Maybe. Its just that his thoughts are so set in stone that trying to get him to speculate with me on things is almost impossible.

 

[yesiknowbut]

That's interesting. Most ENTPs would not regard themselves as being rigid thinkers.

 

[Paradigm]

So two questions: is she INFP? and how do INFPs generally feel about ENTPs?

It's funny, I have a similar problem. My sister (six years older and a likely ESFP) and I have few things in common and never did talk much. I'd like to get to know her better if I knew how to go about it.

Your sister sounds either INFP or INFJ, both types that can become rather stubborn about things they believe in. Let's assume she's INFP for the moment.

From the one ENTP I know, I rather like them. They're fun, social, and sometimes understanding of differences. It's when one will be sensitive about something and the other will not get it, sometimes even after an explanation, that is a problem. It makes sense, considering T vs F (and if the INFP is the sensitive one, Fi awkwardness), but it's hard on both parties. Which leads to the whole "conflict" difference... ENTPs don't mind conflict and INFPs usually try very hard to avoid it. Another thing might be more E vs I, mostly that the ENTP will not realize how invested the INFP is in the relationship. But considering you two are sisters and not simply friends, it probably won't be a problem so much.

But ENTPs and INFPs can potentially have a good relationship. I find we get along best when doing a project together. The ENTP will be the architect ("We should build this! It'll look like ___ and do ___ and...") while the INFP will be the supporter and planner ("Good idea! But if we do it this way, it'll be done faster and be a little better.") Maybe it's the Ne working together with the Ti/Te difference? There really just needs to be a common interest that doesn't get boring over time. For my ENTP and me, it's gaming. Most of the common interests you suggested would lend themselves well for a starting point. Ask for her knowledge on something ("Could you show me how you plant organic tomatoes?") or out to a cultural fair. Or you could try starting something new, like cooking (my ESFP aunt and ISFJ mom are learning to do fondant). Likely, once you two get to know each other better, your relationship will be much closer than simply sharing that one interest.

Sorry this came out a little long. :tongue: Hope it helped a bit.

 

[yesiknowbut]

Yeah, that was helpful, thanks
I used to think she was INFJ but my brother's new wife who does NLP and MB counselling for a living tells me that our whole family are P types, no exceptions, and that is believable! Plus now I know a little more about Fi I think that she shows that more than Fe.
I'm going to invite her down and get her to redesign my garden, which has been totally trashed by some building work. And I wouldn't have thought of that without your post. The only thing there is likely to be her reluctance to tell anyone else what to do, so I could well get a *shrug* "well, you must do whatever you want, it's your garden....." and this from a woman who designed a new botanic garden for an entire country to preserve its unique species......

 

[smiley]

My parents are INFP (mother) and ENTP (father) and they are absolutely best friends. When they mismatch, it's because my father is extremely extroverted and often makes double bookings for his time and then doesn't do enough to make my mother feel special and to meet her needs (more time alone or date time)... but they bring out the best in each other. She basically cultivates his introversion and gives him a place to relax when he has been overextending himself and he calms down her neuroses and gets her laughing and having fun in life rather than worrying about everything and everyone else. :happy:
I think your sister will appreciate the gardening thing- because it shows special care for her and something she might like- INFPs seem to require some of that. They are special people. :happy:

 

[hood]

I love ENTPs.. One of my good friends is ENTP. I'm only judging from one I know in real life, but I could hang with 'em. They're off beat enough to never get boring for me, great sense of humor, and once and awhile can have pretty good mind stimulating conversation. I'll get annoyed sometimes when he takes the humor too far or continually repeats a joke he knows hit me hard while it still being funny to him everytime, but for the most part I wish I knew more.

 

[ponyjoyride]

I never get bored of praising ENTPs because my ENTP-boyfriend is so awesome! He definitely makes me less neurotic and helps me to enjoy my life more. It's wonderful to speculate about various things with him and he's very good at it.

I don't know if your sister's INFP. She might be also ISFP. However I think that ENTPs get along well with INFPs and ISFPs. Just pay attention to their feelings and take them seriously.

 

[trondor]

One of my childhood friends is ENTP. Awesome. Funny and upbeat, makes me feel better when I'm down, but can be insensitive. Known him since we where 7. and now we're 24. During childhood we used to play strategy-games all the time, laugh at bad movies/commercials and discuss politics

(we often made bold claims which had no basis in fact, like who would win the US vs The world- War. We had no idea about anything, but still manage to argue about issues like that )

We're both quite navel-gazing and self-absorded (like most INFPs and ENTPs, I guess), but here it seems to be a good thing. We can bounce our quirkyness on each other.

I took him a bit too serious when we where little, which lead to drama. Nowadays I just appreciate his sometimes cynical remarks without letting it get to me. It's just a point of view, after all.

 

[vintagelovin8]

I'm jealous of the entp boldness personally. i've always wished i could be that loud and direct. they're awesome :laughing:

 

[hercoffin]

The only thing I have to say on this topic is - I have one ENTP friend. I think he is brilliant and we get along swimmingly

 

[BelleBlue]

I'm an INFP with an ENTP child. I can't stay mad at him more than a second because he's incredibly entertaining. The majority of problems I face with him, involve me having to mediate him vs teachers. Oh! The poor teachers leave the room questioning reality when they encounter the combo of his clever arguments/ loopholes with my uber sensitive "take it to the core" discussions on how things should have been handled for the greater good earlier in class that day. It's never a dull in my house!

 

[Strat]

Quick thought based upon my experience with ENTPs - INFPs like to connect at the deepest level possible and are looking for common interests. ENTPs are awesome but can have a hard time just listening and can become disengaged if they don't have much interest in the topic. Now with most people that's probably OK, it's perfectly acceptable to work yourself out of a conversation that isn't interesting . . . but if you really want to connect with your sister try to be a more active listener and engaged when you speak to her. Don't try to solve her problems if they exist, just listen. INFPs can be fickle about who they will allow to provide constructive criticism or challenge their beliefs.

 

[perfectcircle]

My dad is an NTP. We don't really know if he's an E or I. There's a lot of conflict, and a lot of love. NTPs and NFPs often can have good rapport about intellectual topics but may suffer a strange kind of communication breakdown where they feel the other's way of putting things or deciding about life is just wrong or offensive, but they won't budge... they often get into complicated arguments over words or ways of seeing, where the NFP will be "If only you could understand", and the NTP, "My logic is sound if you'd just listen!" (even when their premises are often very understandable or similar). All my arguments with my Dad get super "meta" and it's really overwhelming, to the point we realized we just can't do that anymore. Lots of similarities, lots of differences. So what I'm trying to say is: these types can have many common views and interests and even senses of humor, but BOTH ends have to learn to compromise.

And, she may be an infp, but I don't truly know.

 

[LadyO.W.BernieBro]

Depending on the INFP, l'll adjust my own behavior because it's really easy for me to see the way others perceive me. But that basically entails me doing all of the work so they have to be pretty special lol.

l would agree with the first poster unfortunately, l think some INFPs see us as rigid. l've dealt with many people who view "decision making" as rigid, l think. lt's a fundamental clash, as l am what l am there's only so much l'll compromise and again, it depends on the person. And if ENTPs can seem to rigid , l can't imagine how some other NTs might be viewed.

But l have really liked a few INFPs. Just try to stay from hot button issues, you can probably figure out what they are.