[wanderingone]

I'm gonna have to disagree about looking for these sorts of answers in a book. Part of being idealist for me is about getting into a relationship "naturally" so to speak. All those things you discussed, while likely true, are the last things i want in my head when i meet someone... all i want in my head is them. This I'm sure is not the most effective method, but, it isn't always about effectiveness. We spend time and money reading books and taking classes for a career because money is meaningless. It's just a game that you have to play, and if you play it right then you can afford to survive. By playing the money game, we're focusing less on it... getting a degree and an hourly job and all that are a way of saying "the external model for this is good enough, it doesn't have to be perfect". I think for an INFP the real kind of focus comes in the form of perception and imagination, and i think more than anything, we're always looking for and imagining love. Love is too important and too real to be reduced to probabilities and the results of studies. Only an internal model and reference is significant enough to be considered.. for me anyway. When you meet your soulmate, you know, and it doesn't matter what you've read.