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Discussion Starter #1
I don't think I'd get too many dissenters if I said that most of us are terrible at networking, particularly in real life, but I'm curious how this has translated over the internet -- specifically these forums. You would think that similar interests, perceptions, and simply a community where people are accepting and open might make networking easier. Sounds logical, right? However, with many of us lacking that go-getter mentality, having difficulty taking initiative, or concerns that we'd be bothering someone by trying to talk to them, I think we could have some interesting results.

So, the questions are...
#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis? This isn't talking for 3 days then falling off the face the Earth, this isn't quoting someones post, this isn't just the # of people on your friends list or talking to a large number of people at once and having X Y Z present, this is all direct-ties (make an educated guess on what I'm referring to).

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?

Note: This isn't a popularity contest, or intended to make people feel bad, it's simply curiosity and possibly even raising awareness. Yes, I'm also aware newcomers may have difficulty on #1, but exclaim that loudly and proudly and I'm sure a few socialite INFPs will come your way :D.
 

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1. I have no direct ties with anyone on here.
2. There are too many to list that I would enjoy a conversation with.
3. Not on this site. This is where I come to open up and to be open to others. I will be open off this site to strangers just as on this site, but I can't really open up anywhere else but here.
4. I notice we can be the biggest downers sometimes.
5. We have the most empathy. Perhaps even too caring. Even the ones who are filled with apathy and disinterest in humanity have some deep compassion for something that can be considered good.
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?

None. Sorry, but everyone here is really young and therefore have a completely different set of problems. That's why I interact mostly only Twitter because the people I interact with there are my age going though the same issues of children, retirement, work, home ownership, etc. I believe that lasting relationships are based on facing and solving similar problems and not similar ideology.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)

I think I've actually said this outright in a bunch of thread but there are new people reading this. I come here and post to get people to read my blog. If you observe my pattern of posts, I usually only respond to threads with people with fewer than 20-30 post. Everyone else has most likely glanced at my blog at least once already and have either found it useful or worthless towards achieving their results. I watch my traffic. PC is third have Google and direct visits.

The other reason why I interact on Twitter is because it acts as a filter for me the same way I ask people, what places have you traveled. People who are widely traveled have a whole different mentality to how they see life that's compatible to my personality. Just like people on Twitter have a whole different mentality on relationships that's compatible with my personality.

I don't really network on Twitter. I have a list of 1700+ INFPs on Twitter, but I follow only 73 of them. The max amount of people and relationships you can keep track of according to various studies is 204. I won't ever follow more than 204 people.


#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?

No, I treat everyone without the kid gloves. There's really no point to me being here if I didn't.


#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?

Doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?

That we keep trying. I find that INFPs have a strength of will and conviction that's only matched by ENTJs.
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?

Big fat zero. I blame my loner personality and my differences to other INFP's.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)

Four - five is an accurate figure, I suppose. There's so many amazing people here, but I'd rather keep my contact list small...

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?

Plenty of times, especially as I lurk the Stream of Conscious and Confession threads. Jeez, this makes me sound pathetic. .-.

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?

I'll be blunt: too much talk, not enough action.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?

Our empathy that allows us to really feel what someone else is going through - be it good or bad. [This can actually be a bad trait too, sometimes. However, I really do think it's more of a good thing.]
 

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I have spoken to maybe two people on the forum on more than one occasion.

As cheesy as it sounds, in general, I find myself wishing I knew most of the people here at least a little better, if not a lot better at some time or another. (I'm still a bit like @Roze, in that I also don't like to spread myself too thin when it comes to contacts. When I have a few friends, I want to give them my full attention and be what I consider a good friend, and that's hard to do when there are, you know, 78 random people you sort-of/kind-of know but not really.) But I'd love to actually be friends with most of you. I think I just feel like too much of a dork most of the time, and it's like there's never a right time to tell someone randomly that you find them interesting. But, yeah, I guess a lot of us would have that problem.

Common INFP flaw -- The only thing that sticks out to me is the occasional tendency for INFPs to seemingly "wallow in self-pity" rather than actually try to do something about their problems. However, I don't believe this applies to all or even most of the posters here, and I chalk a lot of what I do see up to not sharing things like that with people face-to-face (i.e. I believe this forum can be a bit of an emotional dumping ground, because it's safer than speaking out in the "real world").

The best trait -- A lot of the INFPs here seem fairly easygoing and generally accepting of others' differences, no matter what their own beliefs/thoughts/feelings are. I love that laidback, sort of quiet compassion/respect for people. And I don't think it's an INFP tendency to always demonstrate that directly to the people around them, but it definitely shows in posts here.
 

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Networking isn't much of a problem for me, I just have to divide my time amongst a lot of people, already. My time and energy I give out generously, but I have priorities that will always come in first.

I do my best to be here for anyone who needs me, though. When I can.

It's easier for me to focus myself on fewer people at a time, so that I can give them as much one-on-one as possible.

#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis? Three or four.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em) There are a lot of neat people I haven't spent much time with. If I really want to talk to them about something, though, I have no issue initiating conversation. I guess I'm just going with the flow on these sorts of things.

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well? Well, sure, but I also am aware that this forum is full of empathetic ears, so I will offer mine, but I know I'm not the only one.

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here? The whole oh woe is me. Every subforum has a similar flaw, though. I feel like people have grown too comfy with their 'type', if that makes sense? Like, hey everyone perceives me this way, and we all feel this way sometimes, so I'm gonna emphasize it and stay in it instead of growing and expanding my horizons. I hate stagnancy and limitations. I feel like sometimes INFPs are limiting themselves, but so does a lot of other types. The self-pity seems to be the most obvious, though. I'm not saying I'm above it, I make my emo posts all the time :p
Balance is key. :)

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait? We have the ability to bounce back, so to speak. With enough encouragement and perspective we can turn things around and be there for one another in ways I haven't seen too much in other places. There is a strong sense of community, even to those who feel like hardcore outcasts. People put a lot of heart into their posts, you know there is sincerity oozing from people around here. I think the very first thing I noticed when I joined PerC was the mutual respect people showed to each other. I've been a reg on many different forums and it always lacked that.
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?

Currently I only speak with one person outside of the boards, I have had several back and forth PM conversations with two or three others that are considered "open" conversations I suppose. I'm terrible at initiating contact though, so I applaud the others for their willingness to send the first message that opens up the conversation.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)

I wouldn't mind getting to know many of the people here a little better. I could easily see us sitting down for a cup of coffee or something every once in a while and just chatting for a wee bit. I don't think I could be great friends with most of the people here as I just don't have the energy to do so, but I still think we could enjoy a get-together every few weeks/months. :)

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?

Yes, frequently. I usually just make sure that it's known I'm available and if someone should choose to come to me, then I am more than happy to help however I can. It's not up to me to ask or tell them to trust some total/random stranger on the net, but if they initiate, then hey, I'm here.


#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?

Complaining about something but not taking any action to change the situation. I'm guilty of this myself, but it is so frustrating to watch someone spiral when there are things they can do and they're either blind or lazy or frozen or any number of things so that they just can't do what's needed to be done.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?

They care. The amount of empathy displayed on this forum is overwhelming at times, but incredibly healing as well.
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis? This isn't talking for 3 days then falling off the face the Earth, this isn't quoting someones post, this isn't just the # of people on your friends list or talking to a large number of people at once and having X Y Z present, this is all direct-ties (make an educated guess on what I'm referring to).
Nobody.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)
Maybe 2 or so. I am not really interested in having an online relationship/friendship, though. I used to have them in high school and it was a lot of fun but I'm just not into it anymore I guess.

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?
For sure. I have offered an ear every once in a while and felt like it didn't really help or it got ignored or whatever, so now I try to just accept that I can't help everyone on here. It's not that I don't think it's appropriate, because I think extending your empathy to someone is always appropriate. It's more like it takes effort to do that on my part, and if it doesn't get anywhere, then it's wasted. I have more real life instances that give me that opportunity that I can focus on.

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?
Perhaps it's self-absorption. Also, our fear of strangers. We say we love everyone but a lot of us don't take the time to extend ourselves to others to let them get to know us. We just sit in our own world and brood about ourselves and it doesn't get us anywhere.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?
Our quirky traits, I'd say. We are a funny lot.
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis? This isn't talking for 3 days then falling off the face the Earth, this isn't quoting someones post, this isn't just the # of people on your friends list or talking to a large number of people at once and having X Y Z present, this is all direct-ties (make an educated guess on what I'm referring to).

3 to 4 or more. There's particularly one I talk to everyday and share a lot of secrets with.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)
I went through posts, and admire a lot of work from a fair number... But I'm not sure whether they want to know me so, heh. I just let it.

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?
I use a lot of Ni, to be honest..I can at times tell when the person just needs a listening ear rather than interfering advice.

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?
Honestly, underestimating one's intelligence.

And also during certain times, a lack of objectivity when feeling 'stuck' with processing certain emotions.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?
Being empathetic and non judgmental when necessary.
 

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The word 'Networking' has a somewhat negative connotation for me, since I dislike meeting people, mingling in large groups, or having strangers talk to me. I don't really want to know a lot of people. However, I do want to know the right people. Not what would culturally be considered the right people, but the right people for me personally - other people like myself and people who can help me get into the activities that I have interest in. So for me Networking isn't something that's just fun, just to get to know all kinds of people, but is more a part of a journey or search for certain kinds of people. And often those kinds of people are 'few and far between' or out of the way and difficult to locate - which means going through a lot more other people - which sounds like too much trouble to me. I have a feeling a lot of Introverts feel this way. We really want to know people like ourselves, but we get worn out and discouraged by the many steps in between, the many seemingly pointless conversations we have to go through. We do tend to approach socialization as a Network though, I think, in that we seem to prefer to meet others through people we already know, rather than just going out there and meeting them by ourselves. We don't often make new ties, but we extend our lines out through others. It does seem easier for Introverts to meet new people online, and perhaps it is particularly true for Introverted iNtuitives, as somehow the context of the internet allows us to skip a lot of the social norms of small talk and get straight to the good stuff.

I think what often happens is that INFPs long to find others like themselves, but are daunted by the task of searching through all the people out there and don't want to put in effort getting to know people who aren't very much like them, even if they could possibly connect them to others who are. It's easier to find people like us on the internet, but I think we often don't feel like a friendship is really 'real', secure, truthworthy, stable, certain when we didn't meet the person through someone else we know. Don't ask me why, but having that thread of connections to trace back through somehow seems to make a relationship feel more secure and credible. So I wonder how many of us actually do form close connections online which we translate into the real world. (of course distance is also a factor).

I've been thinking a lot lately of how I wish there was some kind of Introverted iNtuitive networking group that would help connect people who were close to eachother, organize chances to meet, and that sort of thing.....somehow.....I think many of us could really benefit from some help connecting with eachother. But then....would we actually go?

#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis? This isn't talking for 3 days then falling off the face the Earth, this isn't quoting someones post, this isn't just the # of people on your friends list or talking to a large number of people at once and having X Y Z present, this is all direct-ties (make an educated guess on what I'm referring to).
not really anyone....maybe one person, but then I haven't been on here long so it's hard to say.
#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)
I'm really not sure, it's a complicated matter for me. There are certainly several people I think I would enjoy knowing better. But I also really like to concentrate on deep relationships, and I already have a few close friends who I sometimes feel guilty about not contacting enough, so I guess I'm not exactly trying to expand my circle of friends, although if I happened to hit it off with someone or find myself getting closer I certainly wouldn't shut them out.

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?
yeah, I think I have done it occasionally, but not every time. I definately worry about intruding or prying. I also sometimes choose not to try and offer that closeness because I don't think I'll be able to really be there for them all the way, and I don't want to dangle hope of friendship before them and then draw back. So sometimes it is best to care from a distance. But yeah, this is definately something I do both in real life and online - feel that tug toward someone, but then hang back because I think they'll think I'm just a nosey outsider. This has, however, also been one of the main ways I've made friends - particularly in Elementary school. I tend to be a lot less shy around people who are emotionally distressed.

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?
regarding relationships I think it may very well be our way of assuming no one really likes us. We read dislike too easily from silence, and tend to not let ourselves be comfotable with people who really do want to be our friend because we're too afraid that we're just being a bother. It's that assumption that people who like us must be crazy because (we think) people usually don't, so either they're crazy or they really don't like us. We can miss out on good relationships because we underestimate our likability and other people's genuine interest and care.

Procrastination is another one that gets us....just taking too long to respond for a multitude of reasons that realy just comes down to not being in the habit of taking action.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?
relationally speaking, I think our ability to relate on an emotional level to others that we may not have very much in common with, or even disagree with is a beautifull thing. We also seem to be very good at getting into the shoes of other people, and other types, at least to some degree, allowing us to appreciate them rather than criticize them for being different.
 

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How many people do i talk to regularly off here...5 atleast once a week usaully more plus 3 more i used to talk to alot. most of them are first gen forum folks and alot of them don't come here so much anymore. i'm kinda a leftover relic most people who i got to know are mostly gone now

no offense to any of the newer crowd but well i don't have to much desire to make any new perc buddies-i have enough now to have someone to talk with 80% of the time while not sacrficing close-ness. that said i'll be more social during the breaks i'm sure

sometime i do want to give/recieve help and even i can get a bit shy for it

worst trait is how self critical we are

best trait is that we think about the weriest and most awesome things
 

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Boom shock a locka Yeah boyyyy that's how Aelthwyn rolls with a 1200 word post dropping bombs on your fizace!!!

Anyways, I gotta go so I can't respond to all the questions as much as I want to get in depth here, but I did really want to answer a make a couple points known real quick.

If I could, I would get to know a lot of the people on here because a lot of them seem like real cool people. Unfortunately the real world has that time and energy element to it.

The other thing: I think our worst traits can be self-absortion as ethylester already stated, but, our best traits is our absolutely beautiful minds. I think we can create worlds that are so beautiful. Our artistic personalities ooze aesthetic splendor. I think there is so much infinite depth there that the outside world probably does not see but you can get a sense of it from being in this forum and seeing how people paint there interactions with each other, the words they choose, the avatars they provide. I think if heaven were to be created by a personalty type god would choose INFP's.
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common bass; No one. #2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)- No one. I go on here for myself #3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?- No. But I wanted to help #4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here? We take things too seriously and we seem to have a LOT of problems #5 Reverse it, what's the best trait? Sensitivity, and being aware of your thought patterns, Intelligence
 

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how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?

according to your criteria, nobody, i suppose. perhaps one or two - i just dont seem to have all that much time for socialising too hugely. though, at least sometimes, it's not due to lack of trying :tongue: ... ... i think i'll stay vague with that one.

How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already

heh, no names. i couldnt mention a precise number - certainly a handful of people though.

Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?

hm. i have offered an ear to a person or two i didnt know well, though it wasnt anything spectatular in the end.

i've been remarkably open about... lots of things on this forum, but i still keep a lot of things, thoughts, inclinations, to myself. there've been cases that apply to me, of the two things you asked here. i wont say when. secretsecrets.

What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?

eh, i have nothing interesting to contribute to this, i suspect... really, others have mentioned the flaws pretty well. lesse, maybe something else...

ok, howsabout this: our tendencies to take our type too seriously, and idealise ourselves. i think many of us are *quite* full of ourselves, we're inclined to think we're the most wonderful, pure, uncorruptable souls that graced the globe. i dont buy it. and i think that thinking like this is potentially dangerous, blinds you to your grimmer aspects - what makes up part of our humanity. related to this, i think our idealising of ourselves in this way *unintentionally* (and sometimes intentionally) degrades other types (sometimes people seem to revel in it, how certain other types are portrayed as just way less moral than us wonderful little infps, bleh).

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?

... well, now that i've said all that, i'll feel like a hypocrite if i were to answer this :unsure: ah hell...

i cant claim to know how it goes on other parts of the forum, i dont venture outside too much, but i will say this: a lot of the folks around here are very *kind* and supportive. they're pretty good folks.



...

btw, @Lad - you didnt answer your own questions yet. :wink:

(edit) ps, those last two questions seem not like the others, the last two questions just dont belong... it seems to me on the surface, but i suspect there was something about them that linked them to the matter of infp-forum social networking? perhaps related to how much we pay attention to others, or was it just something random you put in out of curiousity?
 

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Wow, didn't mean to write an essay. Welp.

#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?
Zero.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)
At least 7-8. Part of the issue though is also whether or not one of us would get on the others nerves, or that they might want too much time or something (I'm self-sufficient in that sense). I want to talk to people, but not all the time, I still need space. I don't think it would actually be a problem for most here realistically, but it's always hanging out there.

I'm afraid of expectations in general, I guess. Afraid of failing to meet them, of being rejected or not accepted, looking stupid. But I'm also afraid of getting somebody in a position where they expect or want more time than I'll give. It's easier to just keep to myself altogether than to risk potentially hurting somebody by pulling the chair out from under them. Afterall, there are surely plenty of other people around, they'll be fine without me, and I'll manage like I have. In other words, maybe I'm afraid of there being some kind of responsibility and failing it too.

I don't expect any of that though, so it stands to reason I'm not the only one and maybe I should make more of an effort. But it's haaaaaaarrrd. *whine*

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?
Not for that reason, no. Maybe I suck at boundaries or I'm creepy or something, but I'm fine with going right to the heart of things, myself. I try to be conscious of what others want though of course.

If somebody needs help they need help, who cares about social walls or rules or regulations. That said, I am hesitant to do anything for fear of making it worse, and have often held back.

Even in general, I don't want to talk to some facade, I want to talk to the person themself.

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?
I've looked around forums for different types, and usually it doesn't take long before I start to get annoyed with flaws and they are no longer as refreshing as it first seemed and leave. Some types more or less than others, INTP and ENFP I'm more comfortable around. INFP is the only type I've found where there doesn't seem to be such a time limit. (Lyrics popped in mind: "I could drink a case of you, and I would still be on my feet.")

To actually answer though, there has been a bit of failing logic. A few times the thinking just didn't follow and led to a dark place wrongly or unfairly, mainly when somebody is emotional or feeling hurt (which is understandable I think). Other than that, I expected to have more clashing of ideals, but it just doesn't seem to happen. I've only had it happen once ever.

The only other thing I could say is that sometimes I think a hurt is held onto for too long, and it colors a view more or for longer than maybe it should. Particularly in those times I see distinctions blurred, and twice I've had to use the phrase "collateral damage." I don't think anybody wants to cause unjust hurt, but sometimes preventing that takes good reasoning abilities. "The path to hell is paved with good intentions," afterall.

I don't think any of this is "common" though, they're just the only flaws I've taken notice of. If this forum is indicative, INFP on the whole are relatively quite refined in character.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?
Isn't the thing above enough? That's hard to answer. :laughing:

Perhaps being unassuming?
 

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I hate to say this but a lot of people on the board are very young and lack the real life experience to be clued-up and interesting. Most people have yet to 'find themselves' and so a lot of cliches are spouted...just read the BS about dating and sex. Having said that most people are harmless, but a few are fucking idiots. The stuff about books, films and music always interests me. It would be interesting to have regular correspondence with someone on a forum/board but dont expect it.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
I hate to say this but a lot of people on the board are very young and lack the real life experience to be clued-up and interesting. Most people have yet to 'find themselves' and so a lot of cliches are spouted...just read the BS about dating and sex. Having said that most people are harmless, but a few are fucking idiots. The stuff about books, films and music always interests me. It would be interesting to have regular correspondence with someone on a forum/board but dont expect it.
Not quite sure this was a public service announcement. Most INFPs are well-aware of their lack of experience and certainly hesitant on sharing things because they're concerned about how they'll be perceived or judged. Still, everyone has a story -- a really damn interesting one, but most either don't have the confidence, the desire, or the opportunity to share it. In these cases, you usually just have to encourage people (make threads on certain topics, yatta yatta)... ever seen the old school INFP sex thread? I'm fairly 'out there', but a few things on there are like burned into my eyes.

Remember INFPs are tagged as innocent and kind-hearted by virtually every other type. I think too many people try to fit that mold (to fit in), even if they aren't that way by nature.
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?
A few people. I usually try to talk to them everday.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)
I want to get to know a lot people on here better, it's just that I don't know how to approach them. Also there's a few people here, who I talked to a lot, post on their profiles daily, etc but I'm scared that they see me as being too clingy and dependent so I stop talking to those people for a while, it's kind of like damage control.

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?
Not really. That's one of the reasons why I love this forum, people here are very chill and they can tell when someone means well.

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?
I would say that we can be quite gloomy and we seem to wallow in our self-pity a lot, I cant really talk because self-pitying is an art for me xD

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?
Just how open-minded and friendly we can be.
 

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Discussion Starter #19 (Edited)
@Somniorum - thanks for the call out, lol. I'll answer your specific question towards the end of this post...

#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?

For the most part 2. Everyone else is off and on.

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already

Roughly 4 at the moment, but there are a lot of others that I'm curious about on a deeper level. I'll save that for my next thread that I've been working on. (It's a "Judgment" thread listing my thoughts on every single INFP on here).

@Libs -- Even though you're fairly new, virtually every post of yours has been appealing to me. From the deep, to the seemingly trivial. You rock :D

@Fira -- In my eyes, you're the person that embodies an 'INFP' the best. It took me awhile to realize that, but I started paying more attention to you awhile back once I could tell people were speaking so well of you (without naming you) and how sorely you were missed by a number of people here when you retired. Still, I don't know too much about you, but I'm curious.

@portionsforfoxes We've back and forthed a bit, but it was really just playful small talk that comes and goes. Truthfully, much of it was a ploy to see if I could figure out what it is that I find so special about you without being so direct. Still, I have no idea what it is, but I'll find out!

@Somniorum - I get a vibe that something cool may happen in the future, but that there's no need to push it. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Perhaps, but I had that feeling very early on when you started posting here.

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?

There are a number of people on here I've written a message to, but retracted / deleted it afterwards as I believe(d) they were reasonably popular on here and therefore, likely had a decent support system of INFPs (this would end up being the furthest from the truth and is what inspired this question).

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?

A lack of identity. This isn't based on being 'boring,' 'inexperienced' or having low self-awareness, but rather on some sort of hesitance towards showing it. Every single person here, deep down, has an identity, but if I took my hand and covered the names in a thread and started reading the posts, I could probably pick out maybe 20% of you.

While we're all INFPs, instead of high-fiving about similarities all the time, be more open towards sharing the things that make you different.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?

Creativity and psychological depth are what I consider 'intelligence'. No one is lacking in that here, people are brilliant... it's unbelievable.

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@Somniorum
(edit) ps, those last two questions seem not like the others, the last two questions just dont belong... it seems to me on the surface, but i suspect there was something about them that linked them to the matter of infp-forum social networking? perhaps related to how much we pay attention to others, or was it just something random you put in out of curiousity?
This thread was initially supposed to be just question #1, but then I realized that a number of people would be hesitant to respond. So I added #2 and #3 which were trains of thought as to why I asked #1 in the first place.

Long story short, I was more-so wondering if we (me) have a tendency to unjustly elevate people to some sort of higher status based on our perceptions of how they interact, or are interacted with, on here. In other words, it's like if there's a girl that we see as ridiculously charming, popular, attractive, smart, the whole nine yards. But she doesn't end up going to a prom because every guy assumed she'd already been asked out already, and therefore saw no point in trying.

The flaw question was...
- curiosity
- where some people may be introspective towards issues they may have networking
- or so people could rant + anyone that was in a downer mood from #1,2,3 could vent

While the last question was just to end on a high note.

p.s. Did you get 3 mentions or just 1 on your notification bar?
 

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#1 how many people from the INFP forums do you -directly- (private message, msn/skype, visitor board, etc) interact with on a reasonably common basis?
One

#2 How many people on here do you want to talk to / get to know better, but haven't already (this is sorta like the Crush thread, but you can use a number. If you're feeling ballsy then name em)
Very difficult to answer. Warring instincts.
Part of me says, "I would love to connect with everyone. I've read many of your posts and liked you and would now like to meet with you on a personal level." :) "I would like to know you. And I would like for you to know me. And I would like to see what we would be like."
Another part of me closes off completely, panics, and begins to come up with explanations (thousands of them) for why I don't want to get to know any of you (personally).
There are a few people (mentioned a lot of them in the Crush thread) that I feel drawn to. But there remains the element of panic.
I have overcome the panic and reached out a few times following an experience where I was able to be unusually open with a person. Because I wonder, "Is this that rare someone that I will be able to be myself with, that I will be able to be open with, to talk about feelings and random weird theories and thoughts that nobody else wants to hear and who will actually be able to understand them?"

#3 Have you had instances where you wanted to offer an INFP an empathetic ear while they're going through distress OR wanted to ask someone in particular for their opinion, but didn't think it was appropriate because you don't know them too well?
I rarely think of what is appropriate or not. Generally, when I want to say something, I feel compelled and will say it (regardless). However, there may have been other reasons. Such as: feeling useless in that situation (unable to help or to understand, likely to make the situation worse...) or lack of thought (not realizing that I could offer help or could simply ask for a person's opinion when I wonder about it).

#4 What is the most common INFP flaw you've noticed here?
Blindness. faeriegal mentioned something about this (I'm not certain she was referring to the same thing, though similar maybe), and I have seen several comments in other threads that relate. Sometimes I feel as though INFPs get so set on an idea that we will block out everything around us, close ourselves off, and essentially, walk around blind. We come up with a flawed or unrealistic idea (seems dreamy but, if we really got it, we would be miserable) of what we want and need and thus ignore or miss out on opportunities for what would realistically make us happy.

I hear the word, "Deserve," thrown around a lot here. As in: "I deserve better." It is nice when used as a sentiment. But beware getting caught in the idea that you "deserve" anything. We are entitled to nothing in life. And to think that we are is a certain way to end up with nothing (or simply disappointed).
A lot of these sentiments appear to expect a bit much from others as well (here, I will be a hypocrite and expect a bit much from INFPs, forgive me). "Deserve better from XXXX." XXXX is a person: flawed, imperfect, likely will have a lot going on in his/her life, likely will be overwhelmed, likely will be confused, likely will have issues, likely to screw up frequently, likely not paying attention to how he/she treats you, likely incredibly unable to give you anything at all.

#5 Reverse it, what's the best trait?
The ability to inspire with...
Integrity
Dreams
Empathy
Acceptance
The amount of hugs and kind words that go around this forum. The ways people stick to their values (however unconventional they may be). Trying to grow as people, to understand themselves and others and the world. Being open, sharing thoughts and feelings. A great deal of warm feeling and community. Very welcoming. And lots of connection and conversation and helping and comforting and reaching out and pulling people in.
Incredibly inspiring to me. :happy:
 
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