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Hi everyone!

This is my first post here (yay!), so I apologize if it belongs somewhere else...

So I am an INFP who has been dating her ENTJ boyfriend for about 5 months now. I tend to be very idealistic (sometimes too much so) and he tends to be very realistic (which I like, because I do need to be brought back down to earth sometimes...everything can't always be rainbows and butterflies as I like to say haha). We balance each other out well...however, I wanted to ask some questions to all of you ENTJs in general, becuase I want to maybe understand my bf's perspective a little better...

1. As an ENTJ, how do you receive encouragement from your SO? What makes you feel loved?

2. Would you rather your significant other just tell you what is wrong even if it sounds harsh or critical? Would this discourage you?


3. What about your significant other motivates you to be a better person and continue to work through hard times in the relationship?


Thanks everyone!
 

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I see the ENTJs haven't jumped in yet. I am married for quite some time to an ENTJ so I will offer my two cents.

1) My husband is self-directed. He does not often need encouragement. If something is really bothering him (bad time at work, say) he likes to have a sounding board and sometimes I need to remind him that he is good at coping and this shall pass because if he is really stressed he can get "stuck" since he is such a positive person that he is not well-practiced in moving through negative feelings. But this is something that happens seldom.

Making him feel loved really involves the straightforward stuff. Telling him, thanking him for things he does for me (recognition), doing things with him that we both enjoy. If you haven't already done so, maybe take the 5 Love Languages test and have him take it to. It may surprise you. My action-oriented husband’s love languages are the same as mine. You'd assume ENTJ would be "acts of service" but his is not, it is words of affirmation.

2) Oooh, that' is tough. Harsh and critical does not go over well. In my experience it works better if I surround my complaint with some things I appreciate about him and put it in terms of a request for future action rather than a criticism. The model "When you do x I feel y and so do you think you could z?" works best in most relationships, regardless of type. We INFPs are so easy-going, and then we get in a relationship and we want to try to perfect everything and it can come across as critical and controlling. Or so I have been told by good sources.

3) Not sure I can answer that. Good relationships just click and INFP and ENTJ are both intuitive thinkers so it can be hard to articulate. You just know if someone brings out your best self or not.
 

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Hi everyone!

1. As an ENTJ, how do you receive encouragement from your SO? What makes you feel loved?
A hug pretty much says it all. My SO has a very special way of communicating; he always looks deeper into the underlying issue and uses that to analyze a bad situation. That’s his version of encouragement and it works for me.

I feel loved when he spends time with me or texts me. Simple

2. Would you rather your significant other just tell you what is wrong even if it sounds harsh or critical? Would this discourage you?
Yes. He’s already doing that. Not too harsh that it tears me down though, but enough to be a wake up call

3. What about your significant other motivates you to be a better person and continue to work through hard times in the relationship?
I love him and don’t want to lose him. TBH, if we break up it’s not the end of the world; pretty sure we’ll both be able to move on and find someone else without getting (too) stuck. But we love each other enough to work through hard times (we’ve had some REAL hard times... lol)
 
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