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infp GUYS: Are you in a relationship or single?

  • yes

    Votes: 38 18.6%

  • no

    Votes: 166 81.4%
  • Total voters
    204

INFP GUYS: Are you in a relationship or single?

16964 Views 180 Replies 99 Participants Last post by  magical_steve, 
A
YES = IN A RELATIONSHIP
NO= SINGLE


Seeing as how infp guys seem to have a lot of trouble finding a girlfriend because of a number of things, i am curious to find some loose (i stress, LOOSE) data that would support/disregard this theory.

infp girls seem too adorable and sought after by other types (even other infps) so i would like the females to not vote and if curious to see the results, select *VIEW POLL RESULTS* or something to that nature.

Also, if you are gender indifferent, if u dont have a penis dont vote.
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41 - 60 of 181 Posts
A
I've tried throughout my life. It's not like I've not tried initiating, but every time I try they reject me. The up side is that I've never had so many women as friends before and that is encouraging. I don't really see the whole only being a friend thing being a bad thing. I get to learn a lot about relastionships and women in general. Through I have noticed when I do find who I'm looking for, I'm never the one they are looking for.

Sharing the same values and goals don't always mean everything I guess.
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D
It's funny most of us are single. I've often felt like I deserve to be in a relationship more than others do. I know, it's bad to think that. It's just, I feel like I was meant for it. It's really all I want in life. That's probably one of the many reasons I am single. Women are always talking about wanting a man who is ambitious, but they don't want a man whose ambition is to just find a nice girl and live an easy, laid back life together, with a kid or two. (Not that I am being ambitious about that.) Of course, it's important to have a job and all, but I could care less about having a career.
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Nostalgic
jinamuro said:
It's funny most of us are single. I've often felt like I deserve to be in a relationship more than others do. I know, it's bad to think that. It's just, I feel like I was meant for it. It's really all I want in life. That's probably one of the many reasons I am single. Women are always talking about wanting a man who is ambitious, but they don't want a man whose ambition is to just find a nice girl and live an easy, laid back life together, with a kid or two. (Not that I am being ambitious about that.) Of course, it's important to have a job and all, but I could care less about having a career.
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I know what you mean. And it doesn't sound bad at all. All I want is love. But no one seems to want commitment anymore.
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wisdom
RAU4ever said:
Single forever and every birthday marks my faillure to find a someone... gosh, such a depressing day, how can people ever celebrate it?! But I'm optimistic.



1. This poll might seem a bit depressing, but it also doesn't tell us that much. We cannot base our views of the world on 40ish votes. And we have to keep in mind that we are specific INFPs. For example: the ones that know they are INFPs. Most of us also probably use the internet quite a lot. It could be that this last thing has a big influence on this poll. Who knows if the other types on this website would have similar results if they had a poll about this. Or if not similar then at least different than what is the reality for the majority of their group. Example: 50% of the ESTJs here that say they have a relationship can be different from 90% in the real world (note: completely made up numbers). We shouldn't generalize or draw conclusions from these kind of polls too easily.

Also, think about who views this thread. If you had a relationship and you were really short on time, would you look at this thread? Maybe not. Maybe you would look at the thread about energetic interaction with others. If you look at the 'Who does x also?'-threads, you'll see that almost never there are people posting that they do not do x. From those threads you can't deduce that doing x is normal. If I'd make a thread about picking your nose, I might get 5% of the people here that confess that they do pick. If as is so often the case the others don't reply to that thread, it'll seem that picking your nose is very normal and absolutely nnot gross.

So, to make two paragraphs short, we should not get discouraged or depressed by the poll in this thread, because it could be a misrepresentation! And I know how it feels to see the number of single INFPs here and I feel the same and it does hurt a bit and it does make you think about all the things you think you're doing wrong, but we just neeeeed to watch out that we won't start to think that we can't get someone 'just because we're INFPs'. Cause that is just wrong and something not worth believing in and it's diverting our attention from problems that we CAN fix (like for me just being too invisible all the time). Being an INFP is a blessing and something to be happy about! Don't start making self-fullfilling prophecies!


2. The results of the girls-poll are the same. To me that's just astonishing. I thought they would be incredibly sought after. What's there not to like about INFP girls??? (seriously?!) But even they struggle. So probably we have some common difficulties. And I pretty much think that this destroys our argument that we as INFP males have it so much harder than they do on the basis that we are supposed to be the ones that have to act first, while they could potentially just sit and wait.
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Of course it's misleading. INFPs with families normally aren't going to spend as much time online.

But it's not completely misleading. Surveys say that many adults are not in relationships and not actively looking. Well, here we are. Not physically mingling with new people, not using online dating sites, not making a good first impression = fail. Getting off the Internet, except for online dating, would be a good step.
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S
I've spent more time in relationships than I have being single. Which is neither good or bad I guess.

But currently now single and slowly getting back out there, god I hate blind dates :(
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C
After some superfricial girfriends phase and the long single, but with a few friends with benefits phase I'm in a relationship with an ENTJ girl. Somehow seems to work.
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F
Been single for 2 years. Only relationship was for 6 months at age 34. I'm in awesome shape and dress well, but women just aren't interested in me. It used to bother me a lot, but I've come to accept I don't get to experience relationships in life like other people do. I put all my energy into my career now.
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E
I'm quite the bachelor and part of me loves it that way. My Fi can't decide whether my choice not to be in a relationship is failing the desire to be in a relationship or vice versa. When I think of them these days, all my mind seems to envision on the first instance is the prospect of sacrifice, my life as a loner and a singleton granting me too much freedom which I've become very accustomed to. However when looking at love through idealism, I see only the tender loving moments: Intimacy, hugs kisses etc. maybe even the image of potential long term future ideas. It's a bit sad because I find myself with a longing for love in one part of my heart yet my head (and the other part of my heart) tells me it is a bad idea, at least for now. I don't know which one to believe really.
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L
Stillwater said:
I've spent more time in relationships than I have being single. Which is neither good or bad I guess.

But currently now single and slowly getting back out there, god I hate blind dates :(
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Alright Still, you and me. Errr.. not in that way,

We're going girl hunting in downtown Vancouver.
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kiwigrl
jinamuro said:
It's funny most of us are single. I've often felt like I deserve to be in a relationship more than others do. I know, it's bad to think that. It's just, I feel like I was meant for it. It's really all I want in life. That's probably one of the many reasons I am single. Women are always talking about wanting a man who is ambitious, but they don't want a man whose ambition is to just find a nice girl and live an easy, laid back life together, with a kid or two. (Not that I am being ambitious about that.) Of course, it's important to have a job and all, but I could care less about having a career.
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I think it's great that you want this. My ISFJ knew at age 22 what he wanted, which resulted in us getting engaged.

It's not so much that women need a man who is ambitious per se, but that he is content in his job, isn't afraid to work hard, will provide for his family and make them feel secure. Nobody wants to have kids with a man who can't look after them financially when she is at home raising them. I can't tell you how secure I feel having a husband who is so dutiful.
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S
Alright Still, you and me. Errr.. not in that way,

We're going girl hunting in downtown Van
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Haha, I'm too old for clubs these days, I stick to pubs and bars like the Alibi Room in Gastown or places on the Drive. I guess us infp's are supposed to be trolling book stores and libraries.
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F
I'm 21, a huge soccer (or football, as it's known to us smart kids) fan and I usually avoid pubs and bars like the plague.:blushed: They're just so overwhelmingly loud and crowded, honestly like social hell on earth for me. I'm definitely the type far more likely to be seen curled up in a chair in a corner of the library. :laughing: lol
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Stillwater said:
Haha, I'm too old for clubs these days, I stick to pubs and bars like the Alibi Room in Gastown or places on the Drive. I guess us infp's are supposed to be trolling book stores and libraries.
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You let me down, Still.
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kiwigrl
wannaberockstar said:
I'm 21, a huge soccer (or football, as it's known to us smart kids) fan and I usually avoid pubs and bars like the plague.:blushed: They're just so overwhelmingly loud and crowded, honestly like social hell on earth for me. I'm definitely the type far more likely to be seen curled up in a chair in a corner of the library. :laughing: lol
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Then rather than bars, go to cafes or parks etc. But if you stay curled up inside you will remain single. Say yes to the odd party ...you don't have to stay to the end or anything but just be open to it.
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S
Haha nice. I used to know a group of guys who would watch that movie and Swingers to get psyched up before hitting the clubs.
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F
Oh, I do go out to parks, cafes, etc. all the time. I just avoid crowded places whenever I can help it...
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kiwigrl
And I think it's great that you play soccer! My son does and you should hear me shouting stuff from the sidelines to encourage him :crazy: I have never been a sport spectator before.
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D
A funny pattern I'm seeing between this thread and the girl version one. Most INFP girls seems to be single because they choose to be, whereas most of us are single because we can't help it. I'm gonna go ahead and blame girls for the reason why us guys are single.:laughing:
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A
Lad said:
Alright Still, you and me. Errr.. not in that way,

We're going girl hunting in downtown Vancouver.
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woah woah im from vancouver lol. that's a crazy coincidence :shocked:

sooo fabric? LOL
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A
I neglected to make a real comment when confirming about the thread before. I am single, through the confidence that I've acquired. I mean college girls find me attractive, and I find them attractive. Personality has always been the problem since I got to college. People seem to either just blindly ( I mean puppet blind emotionless blindly) agree with me with no output, or the conversation is completely directed toward a specific event. I have a feeling that if I can share my ideals with some one, that'll hit it off. My ex girlfriend and I never had an emotional level there. I do believe she was looking for me to make an advancement before we ever established an emotional bond. So I think we were just exploring the waters, having fun so to speak. To get my point across to emotional attachment, I admit that I have never kissed a girl in my life (aside from my mother).

In high school, the girls that I bonded with on an emotional level just told me that one day i'll find someone that's deserving. THEY told ME that, while I used to always put myself down. Now I have a good INTP friend that helps calm me instead of me going and forcing it on myself logically. Some of you guys seem to think the same thing, so maybe we're all on the same page in some way or another?

Edit: Added..A lot.
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