So I'm 20 now and have never been on a date. I... I actually haven't even had my first kiss yet.
@Whoop
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/291466-relationship-survey-infps.html
I think that if it weren't for all the shitty and heartbreaking relationships I've been in, I wouldn't have repeatedly built the courage and wisdom to pursue other combinations, to see what really works for me. Through my shitty relationships, I've learned some major things about what I want or need from a relationship in order to happily function within it. For a while, I went out with individualist, 'cool', mysterious types repeatedly (both seriously and casually), but soon learned that what I actually needed was someone who is simple, non-mysterious and rational/objective. I couldn't handle the 'mysterious' types, because they tended to be too similar to me, or (surprisingly) too emotionally/psychologically complicated for me.
OP, I say get out there and get your heart broken at least a couple of times. Learn what works for you, and what doesn't. Heart break never lasts forever, but ending up married with someone you thought was 'perfect' (when you still didn't have the experience to know better) lasts for much longer, especially if you end up having kids with said partner. I have too many friends who have 'saved' their hearts for the right one, only to later gradually find out that the relationship isn't working. This, in itself is also a learning experience - but wouldn't you rather have these painful learning experiences done and over with sooner than much later?
Getting hurt is part of the process of finding someone you know can respect you and care for you in the way you need it. I agree that it's harder for INFPs because we're so protective of our own feelings; but I personally would never take back any of my terrible relationships... because I learned so much about myself from them.
Besides, you'll be able to laugh about your terrible past relationships with your right partner down the line. It's not all pain and suffering in the end.
I'm not sure if I personally agree with this... I think it depends on whether you're the type of INFP that happily learns from mistakes or is permanently traumatized by them. But even if you're permanently traumatized by a relationship, I still think it's a healthy learning experience in the end. I walked through every single 'serious' relationship I've been in in this thread, and they were all different MBTI types (page 3):
http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/291466-relationship-survey-infps.html
I think that if it weren't for all the shitty and heartbreaking relationships I've been in, I wouldn't have repeatedly built the courage and wisdom to pursue other combinations, to see what really works for me. Through my shitty relationships, I've learned some major things about what I want or need from a relationship in order to happily function within it. For a while, I went out with individualist, 'cool', mysterious types repeatedly (both seriously and casually), but soon learned that what I actually needed was someone who is simple, non-mysterious and rational/objective. I couldn't handle the 'mysterious' types, because they tended to be too similar to me, or (surprisingly) too emotionally/psychologically complicated for me.
OP, I say get out there and get your heart broken at least a couple of times. Learn what works for you, and what doesn't. Heart break never lasts forever, but ending up married with someone you thought was 'perfect' (when you still didn't have the experience to know better) lasts for much longer, especially if you end up having kids with said partner. I have too many friends who have 'saved' their hearts for the right one, only to later gradually find out that the relationship isn't working. This, in itself is also a learning experience - but wouldn't you rather have these painful learning experiences done and over with sooner than much later?
Getting hurt is part of the process of finding someone you know can respect you and care for you in the way you need it. I agree that it's harder for INFPs because we're so protective of our own feelings; but I personally would never take back any of my terrible relationships... because I learned so much about myself from them.
Besides, you'll be able to laugh about your terrible past relationships with your right partner down the line. It's not all pain and suffering in the end.
