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INFP in Awesome relationships.. Tell me your secrets!

3093 Views 31 Replies 17 Participants Last post by  SalvinaZerelda
:crazy:Hello! :D So I'm 20 now and have never been on a date. I... I actually haven't even had my first kiss yet.:unsure: This is a problem because i'm a huge hopeless romantic. I want very badly to be in a relationship but I can't even begin to fathom how to do so. I'm really bad at both flirting and understanding when someone is attempting to flirt with me. I also tend to shy away from those i'm super attracted to and when I do engage in conversation i'm often very flustered and act like a weirdo. :frustrating: In short i'm painfully awkward. So my question to you, my fellow INFP's, is how do you go about relationships? If you have ever been in a situation similar to mine or even just have some good tips i'd love to here them! Thanks for your time! :happy:
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@ElliCat You're right. I think I tend to get a little to caught up in my romantic ideals at times. Though, I hope I don't come off as a predator. xD Actually the idea of coming on to strong or acting desperate often manifests my awkwardness. When I'm conversing with someone I'm interested in I tend to break off the conversation when I feel I've said to much. In fact, I sometimes won't even approach people because I worry i'll be bothering them. :p

Currently I'm taking classes in which I have great interest in. I'm still pretty shy but i've met many kind people through school. Also, working at my job has helped me to crawl out of my shell bit by bit. I have had people ask me out on dates but I suppose i'm a little apprehensive to take that plunge. Which I know sounds completely counterintuitive. :frustrating: Even guys who don't see me as awkward I still struggle with. I think it's actually a fear of failure on my part. I often can't stand the thought of being rejected. I want a relationship but I'm still scared to commit to people. I don't want to fail them or myself. I feel as though my awkwardness stems from the fact that I want to be in a relationship but at the same time I'm entirely afraid of it.

Now that I've actually typed this up i'm realizing that I may be a bit fearful of rejection. Of which I should probably work on before I decide to get seriously involved with anyone. As you said,
"- Relatively confident, at least enough to be authentic and hope for the best
- At peace with my singleness (i.e. not desperate)
- Knowing what I want out of life and out of a relationship"
I need to fortify these strengths more before I decide to take a flying leap into a relationship.

Thank you so much for taking the time to right such an insightful response, I really appreciate it! I also appreciate the tough love approach as well :) I feel it made the post all the more honest.
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@Shameless Nation
Ah yes, I don't want to find myself in a relationship that I feel was forced from the very beginning. Pressure from others is definitely a factor. My friends, my cousins and college life in general all tend to weigh on me. Though, I won't deny that a good deal of that pressure is simply from my own aspirations.

After reading all these insightful posts I feel it's best for me to take a step back and reassess why I want to be in a relationship in the first place and whether or not I'm championing the right motivations. Taking it slow and finding my own inner confidence seems to be the first step. :)

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply! It's much appreciated! :)
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Hmm. Indeed. *puts on sweater drinks coffee and runs 10 miles under a sweltering sun* Holy mother... IT WORKED. Thank you @UnicornRainbowLove
Now i'm in a wonderful relationship with a sauna enthusiast. I've never been happier. :D
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