[WiscoExplorer]

Hello, I'm a male INFP! I think I typed my girlfriend as an INFJ, but I'm not sure how to confirm this. So, I'm looking to all of you INFJs out there for help! How can I confirm that she is an INFJ? And, is that a good combination? We've been together for 7 years, so maybe that is testament that an INFP-INFJ relationship is good (that is if she is an INFJ).

She is definitly an introvert like me because she prefers to spend time alone rather than with big groups..
I'm not sure about intuitive.
She is definitly a feeler like me.
She is most likely a judger because she is more down to earth than I am.

Help?

 

[vel]

Ask her to read through this and tell you which functions she sees in herself:
http://www.personalitypathways.com/16-personality-types2.html
http://www.enfpforum.com/Wiki/tabid/56/Default.aspx?topic=Cognitive+Functions

 

[Alaya]

I agree with Vel, you should tell her to read some of the descriptions of the INFJ and see if she feels more or less at home with them.

In my experience, I get really attracted to INFP's(I've had two INFP girlfriends), but there is always some sort of conflict that foreshadows a gloomy ending in the relationship. Conflicts such as incompatible values, emotional neediness and passive aggressive behavior from their part; physical and emotional distance, structured/boring lifestyle and the need to make most of the decisions from my part clashes with the harmony of the relationship.

This, of course, could depend on person-to-person experience and by no means related to personality type.

 

[penchant]

I've been married to an INFP girl for 8 years, and I would say it makes for a very calm but at the same time deep relationship. But if she's an INFJ, it could take a while for her to actually be comfortable with finding her type. We do tend to question ourselves a lot, even though we don't always admit it, and this goes for typing ourselves as well.

 

[ertertwert]

The only person who I've ever completely fallen for was an INFP, so I'd say it's a good combination. Our enneagram types also were a perfect compatibility as well - not sure if that was just coincidence though.

 

[vel]

According to socionics INFP-INFJ relationship is the kind where partners find a lot of common topics to talk about, but can miscommunicate in a grand way. INFPs and INFJs seem so similar on the surface that they may think that they are more alike than they are in reality. Hence the misunderstandings - very similar to your person but thinks in such a strange way. I also read that two partners may have problem taking each other seriously and instead feeling like each is putting up a display rather than expressing their true self.

Here is more info about these relations:
http://www.socionics.com/rel/qid.htm
Quasi-identity - Wikisocion

This is not to say that it cannot work, but you'll have to take your differences into account. Each relationship according to socionics has its own 'flavor' and certain problems to work on, and plus there are also such things as levels of maturity and communication skills to add on the top. So a relationship with someone who is not a perfect match in socionics may actually turn out better than a relationship with someone who is simply because that less-that-perfect match person may be much better at communicating and resolving conflicts and has a more sound head on his or her shoulders.

 

[GreenCoyote]

also the typing factor...

INFP - INFJ

that is only a one letter difference, and with the tests only giving information in a way to test your "organization" I would say that some mis-typing could be happening.

those of you who are always attracted to INFPs that are INFJs also look into relationships of identity in socionics, because that could definitly be a possibility as well.

relations of identity are supposed to be some of the most beneficial relationships as they provide the most opportunity for self reflection and new directions in growth and a deeper understanding.

 

[penchant]

also the typing factor...

INFP - INFJ

that is only a one letter difference, and with the tests only giving information in a way to test your "organization" I would say that some mis-typing could be happening.

It's a one letter difference, but the functions are totally different. That's why looking at just E vs I, S vs. N, F vs T and P vs J doesn't really work. Compare Ne/Ni and Fi/Fe and you're on a more successful route...

 

[beanz]

i have a very deep relationship with an INFP male. wouldn't mind knowing where the touch points are for those a bit further along.

he is so surprising and beautiful to me.......

but i know there is a great deal of difference between J-P

 

[irene80]

Hello, I'm a male INFP! I think I typed my girlfriend as an INFJ, but I'm not sure how to confirm this. So, I'm looking to all of you INFJs out there for help! How can I confirm that she is an INFJ? And, is that a good combination? We've been together for 7 years, so maybe that is testament that an INFP-INFJ relationship is good (that is if she is an INFJ).

She is definitly an introvert like me because she prefers to spend time alone rather than with big groups..
I'm not sure about intuitive.
She is definitly a feeler like me.
She is most likely a judger because she is more down to earth than I am.

Help?

I think INFP-INFJ is a great match for a friendship or a romantic relationship. Two INFs can definitely be a good possibility for soul mates. When one INF finds another, it can seem like a complete breath of fresh air.

I agree with the other posters, that you should just read the descriptions of INFJ (maybe ISFJ in this case) and see which sounds more like her.

Good luck!

 

[Blue Heart]

Two INFs can definitely be a good possibility for soul mates.

That has been my experience, a perfect fit.

 

[QuintessentialINFJ]

I am currently in a relationship with an INFP and for the first time in my life (I'm 37 y/o) I feel like I've found my soulmate We both intuitively understood each other from the first night we met! We have similar social patterns (though I believe INFP's are more outgoing due to the spontaneity of their P but their focus is still internal or with those close to them), we can have long-winded N conversations about anything all day long, being F's we are both very attuned to each other's feelings and both very affectionate. The J-P difference stands out loud and clear....I'm constantly wondering where this relationship is headed while he enjoys taking one day at a time. But hey, if that's the worst of my problems I will take it:tongue:

 

[nikkii]

INFP and INFJ work naturally pretty well, but when push comes to shove with J and P you've got yourself a bigger problem than you would think.

 

[penchant]

INFP and INFJ work naturally pretty well, but when push comes to shove with J and P you've got yourself a bigger problem than you would think.

That, and Fi vs. Fe can make for some unhealthy dynamic.

(Speaking of health... are you doing ok?)

 

[QuintessentialINFJ]

That, and Fi vs. Fe can make for some unhealthy dynamic.

How so?? I recognize the J-P differences big time but want to be prepared for this part...

 

[ertertwert]

I've had to deal with Si vs Ni. Now THAT's a fucking nightmare.

 

[nikkii]

That, and Fi vs. Fe can make for some unhealthy dynamic.

(Speaking of health... are you doing ok?)

It can, I'm doing okay..I'm sick..school..and work...I'm just..ugh but I took a resting day today, tomorrow I'm ready to kick some butt.

 

[penchant]

How so?? I recognize the J-P differences big time but want to be prepared for this part...

Oh, you might have noticed it already... He is introverting his F, you are extraverting yours. (INFP=FiNeSiTe; INFJ=NiFeTiSe). Your Fe is focused on other people, while his Fi is focused on his own feelings—not in any way more or less selfish, but as a way of making judgments. So you are simply not using your F in the same way or with the same objective. As you are both similiar on the surface it is easy to overlook the fundamentally different functions and needs. If the relationship turns unhealthy you could end up spending most of your energy stuck in a loop where he worries about his feelings and judgment, and you feed that worry by disregarding your own in order to sort out his. At least this is how I am figuring it...

It's not a problem as long as you are aware of it, and other functions can balance it out, but it is something to watch out for...

 

[QuintessentialINFJ]

Oh, you might have noticed it already... He is introverting his F, you are extraverting yours. (INFP=FiNeSiTe; INFJ=NiFeTiSe). Your Fe is focused on other people, while his Fi is focused on his own feelings—not in any way more or less selfish, but as a way of making judgments. So you are simply not using your F in the same way or with the same objective. As you are both similiar on the surface it is easy to overlook the fundamentally different functions and needs. If the relationship turns unhealthy you could end up spending most of your energy stuck in a loop where he worries about his feelings and judgment, and you feed that worry by disregarding your own in order to sort out his. At least this is how I am figuring it...

It's not a problem as long as you are aware of it, and other functions can balance it out, but it is something to watch out for...

Wow, I can totally see that already and thank you for clarifying that. He is very protective of his feelings, slow to open up, etc and i interpret that as slow to give emotionally to me. However, because of my Fe I was excusing it and actually blaming that on his being a P and me a J (because I tend to push him for emotional closure).

Now I see that I could be starting an unhealthy dynamic and that this could turn into a pattern. I will address it ASAP!!