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It can, and does work. Like I said earlier, I've had two very passionate flings with INFP women, and while neither could work out for various complicated reasons, we got along very well, and appreciated each other very much. Both experiences were cuddly and intense, and to this day, I am friends with both of them.

I'd like to find another INFP girl sometime.
 
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I am sure the relationship could work out but I was recently in a relationship with an INFP guy and ohmygoodness was it emotionally draining.
The relationship had it perks--great listener, caring, great sexual partner, intense, passionate.
The downside--I cant really explain it. Like, he had his own inner world with thoughts and intuitions and I often wasn't let into that world. he wrote this long letter where he professed his love for me but explained that he couldnt stop thinking about losing me and he wasn't ready to deal with the pain of me ever going off with someone else (his mother died when he was a young teenager and his father like left..so he's basically on his own and has abandonment issues i suppose). He'd rather never fall in love than deal with the pain of losing someone. Strong F and P.
At the same time, I had a lot of stuff going on in my head as well and my actual feelings about him never really correlated with my outward expressions/actions. I knew something was going on with him, he wouldnt tell me, I over analyzed, and afraid of getting hurt, I closed myself off to him emotionally and the relationship just went downhill from there lol.


So basically, we both had this flaw of being stuck in our own heads...and neither of us was able to bring the other back down to Earth.
If two INFPs are together, I think they both have to be fully developed.
im sorry if i rambled, i wanted to give an answer but im quite tired
 

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he wrote this long letter where he professed his love for me but explained that he couldnt stop thinking about losing me and he wasn't ready to deal with the pain of me ever going off with someone else (his mother died when he was a young teenager and his father like left..so he's basically on his own and has abandonment issues i suppose). He'd rather never fall in love than deal with the pain of losing someone.
I've certainly been there.... :unsure:
At the same time, I had a lot of stuff going on in my head as well and my actual feelings about him never really correlated with my outward expressions/actions. I knew something was going on with him, he wouldnt tell me, I over analyzed, and afraid of getting hurt, I closed myself off to him emotionally and the relationship just went downhill from there lol.
I've certainly been there .... :unsure:
 

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If two INFPs are together, I think they both have to be fully developed.
im sorry if i rambled, i wanted to give an answer but im quite tired
undeveloped people in general, or people who have not yet matured are going to cause some type of issues, regardless if an infp-infp match up might cause a certain issue...people cause issues, not really personality types. if love transcends all, i don't think it would have much of an issue transcending a silly mbti test which many people test inaccurate anyhow.

now, of course an infp infp matchup would in theory have certain issues to lookout for, but by no means should this be avoided. opposites might initially attract, but I think common understanding might last longer... and people are far far more unique than 16 model type theory could possibly begin to work towards.

it actually makes me a bit sad people would possibly avoid certain types, then see all the lonely people out there. not saying this thread is one, I don't think it is...but the ones that are other types popping in to another type thread saying... "hey I want to date your type, I need pointers..." *puke*. that isn't how it works folks. you are either going to love somebody for who they are, or you won't.
 

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Any type can work it out with any other type if they try their best.
Yup.

Knowledge about types may help with working it out, but eventually like @jd_ says: you date a person, not a type.

A problem you may encounter dating the same type is sharing the same 'weaknesses'. For instance, you share the same inferior. Te-inferior vs Te-inferior when you're having a falling-out... Brrrr. :S
 

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I'd have no problem having a relationship with another INFP. The common reasoning is that at least one of them has to be more grounded, but if an INFP is grounded enough to manage living alone, I can't see why they'd become less capable when in a relationship together. Plus, I would see the relationship as a "two INFPs against the world" crusade. :)
 

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It can work, but I think the reason why sometimes it doesn't is because of our need to be unique. Being with another INFP (and sharing similar values) can take away from that... that's my theory anyways.

If an INFP couple can get passed that, then I think it can be one of the strongest pairings. INFPs can appreciate each others special qualities more so than other types because it stems from a deep understanding. While other types may see beauty in how an INFP operates, only another INFP can truly understand it... which is... sexy as hell. :tongue:

I also think infp/infp bonds can most resemble the union of soul mates. If 2 people feel misunderstood most of their lives, and they find the one person that not only understands them, but loves them for it... man that feeling must be unreal.
 

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If an INFP couple can get passed that, then I think it can be one of the strongest pairings. INFPs can appreciate each others special qualities more so than other types because it stems from a deep understanding. While other types may see beauty in how an INFP operates, only another INFP can truly understand it... which is... sexy as hell. :tongue:

I also think infp/infp bonds can most resemble the union of soul mates. If 2 people feel misunderstood most of their lives, and they find the one person that not only understands them, but loves them for it... man that feeling must be unreal.
I agree with the sexy part !!

And also, maybe the second part as well :blushed:
 

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In my experience with this pairing, the highs are higher and the lows are lower... so it's balanced (on extreme ends), but exhausting!

The reason why I think it can work long term is because INFPs are very dynamic people, and they enjoy dynamic company.

I understand that you shouldn't date a 'type' because people are so different, however it's really hard to ignore the correlative temperaments of certain types that seem darn near predictable. There are certain relationship issues that are bound come up on account of someone's perception/judgement processes. It seems like when we're in the honeymoon phase of a relationship we're less apt to recognize the little quirky constants--attributes of a person that would later annoy us once the dust settles. But I guess that's part of what courtship is about.

It's been a struggle for me though. When I'm with certain types, I can't help but accurately predict someone's behavior, reaction, etc--I almost wish I didn't know what "type" they were. There's less surprises now that I've studied MBTI, it's somewhat disappointing--anyone else feel this way?

The first INFP I dated, everything was so unpredictable, especially the emotions. The emotions, the emotions. With most emotionally strong experiences, I tend to extend that present moment into the future, so with this girl, I imagined the same little arguments, the same cruelties, the same stubborn habits--all lasting forever. I concluded that I would quickly grey, I would constantly be trying to understand her vagueness, and I would probably call my mom often for support. Needless to say things ended.

But I'll try to end this on a high note. I don't think she was mature. I met another INFP who was so sweet and selfless, and more in control of her emotions--it was as if I met the angel of light after the angel of darkness. Because of my stupidity we just became good friends. But I could see such a relationship lasting long-term.

Now It's an INFJ. The balance just feels better for some reason. Unlike the INFPs I actually feel like she has qualities that I need, and I perceive the feeling to be mutual. We have a great understanding of our differences, plus a head-in-the-clouds romanticism.
 

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now, of course an infp infp matchup would in theory have certain issues to lookout for, but by no means should this be avoided. opposites might initially attract, but I think common understanding might last longer... and people are far far more unique than 16 model type theory could possibly begin to work towards.
Yes I agree. And it depends on what you want from your partner as well...My preferences might be different from yours. You might prefer thinking to feeling/judging to perceiving or you might want someone who thinks just like you do.
People say ENFJs are our ideal type yet I got more out of the relationship with the INFP than I did with the ENFJ. I agree with the fact that INFPs are dynamic and feel strongly about things. Some INFPs might prefer to date another "feely" person or they might not.

I mentioned developed because this certain INFP had mommy and daddy issues that havent been dealt with effectively. Like many INFPs (and people of other types) do, he closed himself off to love. That is not a mature way to handle life and therefore the relationship didnt work out. However, all people are different because of their different experiences. If two INFPs are healthy, then I think the relationship can be amazing because with my ex there were so many good things about the relationship--chemistry, great convos, believed in my dreams, etc.

Date around, explore, give everyone an equal chance and see what happens. This is what I plan to do.
 

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I've had several friendships with infps. I liked all of them, one I was attracted to at first but rapidly became the exact opposite of attracted to, one of the friendships went bad. I've also known a couple infps that I didn't enjoy as friends--- don't hate me, but I found them "pathetic". I wouldn't date any of the infps I've met in real life. I can't say for sure why.... I think I always feel they are not relating to me, but to their ideas of me or the world first, the unhealthier infps I've known have been selfish, victim-playing, socially-inept, and unable to relate to others with no motivation to improve themselves, which I personally find very frustrating. I have many of these same flaws but I guess I feel like I am aware they are my fault and try to broaden my horizons as opposed to justifying them. I think I see myself in them too much to ever want them.... and supporting someone's flaws when they are the frustrating flaws you deal with all the time is quick way to start feeling genuine disdain for someone. I found them draining, like a less evolved version of myself. Like I'd have to constantly support them. I tried to give them the insights that helped me because a more well-adjusted person, a person with more faith or ability in myself, which is mostly keep testing yourself, stop coming to conclusions before you've played it out, ect., but they are always quickly rebuffed (infps hate advice, I know this haha)... but it does get annoying. because I don't agree with them. They feel so sad to me.

Or maybe it's as simple as I'm not attracted to those who are so similar to me. I don't like enfps romantically either.
But I bet I'd date some of the infps on the forum, so I think it depends on way more factors that the once I've personally experienced.

But a healthy, passionate infp, I feel would be a force to be reckoned with!
 

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I am sure the relationship could work out but I was recently in a relationship with an INFP guy and ohmygoodness was it emotionally draining.
The relationship had it perks--great listener, caring, great sexual partner, intense, passionate.
The downside--I cant really explain it. Like, he had his own inner world with thoughts and intuitions and I often wasn't let into that world. he wrote this long letter where he professed his love for me but explained that he couldnt stop thinking about losing me and he wasn't ready to deal with the pain of me ever going off with someone else (his mother died when he was a young teenager and his father like left..so he's basically on his own and has abandonment issues i suppose). He'd rather never fall in love than deal with the pain of losing someone. Strong F and P.
At the same time, I had a lot of stuff going on in my head as well and my actual feelings about him never really correlated with my outward expressions/actions. I knew something was going on with him, he wouldnt tell me, I over analyzed, and afraid of getting hurt, I closed myself off to him emotionally and the relationship just went downhill from there lol.


So basically, we both had this flaw of being stuck in our own heads...and neither of us was able to bring the other back down to Earth.
If two INFPs are together, I think they both have to be fully developed.
im sorry if i rambled, i wanted to give an answer but im quite tired
Duly noted, but as I am sure you are aware, the problem was not that you were "INFPs", but that you weren't good for each other, for whatever reasons. I understand the supposed difficulties, but there are a few beautiful INFP couples out there. An INTJ might be "better" for you in theory, for instance, but he will also fail if relationships quirks are not well ironed-out between the two of you.

I didn't mean this as an attack, Ms. Robespierre. Just that the "negative press" I see around INFP couples is most unwarranted, even though of course, many other people have had bad experiences with other INFP mates on these forums. Have a nice rest. :)
 

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Yup.

Knowledge about types may help with working it out, but eventually like @jd_ says: you date a person, not a type.

A problem you may encounter dating the same type is sharing the same 'weaknesses'. For instance, you share the same inferior. Te-inferior vs Te-inferior when you're having a falling-out... Brrrr. :S
I agree, although I don't like thinking of undeveloped functions as "weaknesses" but rather, differences. That said, there's nothing wrong with the way you said it; I just don't think any personality type is inherently flawed because they are different from each other in the way they see/prefer things (I.E. nobody can be too emotional or too logical, because nobody can be "too himself/herself"; therefore, I don't deem these preferences as weaknesses, as long as they are aware that others have the right to be different from their emotional/logical selves-in the context of your statement, they should be also be allowed to be equally emotional/logical, because that's who they are-but who's really THE SAME in the end, even among identical individuals with similar preferences?)
 

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Why doesn't this work?
I think INFP-INFP ... make really awesome friends...

But in my experience... when dating another INFP... Things just.. dont get DONE! Physically, emotionally, around the house. Also.. since I feel that this type can be really emotional and such deep thinkers that for one... you would probably pick each other apart.. every word, and comment. And when you are two emotional people.. it seems like it's too much.

I feel like I need someone that will balance me out. Maybe not my complete opposite, but someone that can keep me grounded and at times.. keep me here in the world ... and when I get emotional I want someone who will be able to help me snap out of it, not over react with me.

This was just my personal experience.. I am not saying that all INFP's act this way, its just from what I know.

We are dreamers, and kind of flaky and introverted... And I need a balance. I think balance is everything.
 
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