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19 Posts
Hey there, I'm still a newbie to the site and was turned on to it by my INTJ boyfriend. He loves this stuff, which is great because now I can try to understand him more through all of you guys. He's absolutely fascinating, but still throws me for a curve at times. I'm slowly learning the quirks and even enjoy them a little, but wonder what he may think of mine. I'm not the stereotypical "emotional basket case" INFP, so please cut me some slack and spare me the overly broad assumptions. I may be sensual, but I'm also sensible. I just don't want my affectionate nature to be a force that unintentionally drives my INTJ away.
He's very independent and loves his space, which I can appreciate. He's a bit of a selfish lover and says that there's no challenge for him; that I make it too easy. The LAST thing I am is easy and rarely do I ever let people into my personal space. When I do, though, I'm just extremely affectionate with the people I care about. I don't play games and have always been forthright and honest, but I am a little taken aback by his comment (but I'm not insulted).
I find everything about him attractive, particularly his mind. Every iota of my being is drawn to him and I have no guards against this. I'm a very expressive person and the times I can't find words are those when I use my body. I'm only doing what's natural and acting upon how HE makes me feel towards him, so it's his fault, not mine! I love being physical and just feeling him, whether it's cuddling or simply walking down the street and holding hands. It's just come to light that he feels a little stifled by some of this, though (even when HE'S the one that initiates it!).
I don't want to suffocate him, but he says that he gets this way with everyone... that he just needs space and time alone to recharge. He assures me that it's nothing against me, though he's asked me to tone it down because he feels guilty that he's not returning the effort. I said I would, but only if he steps it up... I have needs, too, and it's only going to work between us through some kind of compromise. It would nice to see some reciprocation, or at least a little more effort exerted on his part.
I was previously in a bad relationship before, one where there was no physical compatibility, amongst other things. I'm extremely loyal, even to a fault. I couldn't break it off even though it was killing me. I tried to several times, but the guy just wouldn't let go and move on. I only stuck around because he was going through a really rough time and knew that he needed my help. However, I sacrificed many of my wants and needs for his sake. I don't ever want to be in this kind of scenario again, but I seriously don't think this new guy is like that.
He just operates differently and I need to figure out what makes him tick; what actions push certain buttons. Both of us have been on our own for a while and have perfected our individual quirks and habits. We're still feeling each other out, but we both know that at least we generally hold true to our personality types. I know he cares for me and the fact that we're even communicating about this is huge. I really, really, really like him and know that the feeling is mutual. I knew within fifteen minutes of meeting him that he could be it... the one, but he may take this as me just being irrational or desperate. I've told him this, but wonder if it's an unfair and heavy load for someone that approaches life with their head, not their heart. He said it's not and appreciates my complete honesty. He told me he's envious of me because I'm so sure of my feelings, something his logic can't quite comprehend. Likewise, I love his analytical process, yet wonder why he let's it get in the way of him expressing his feelings.
I'm perfectly fine on my own, though it gets lonely. I don't need anyone to complete me, but never before have I ever found someone that complemented me so intimately. It's like he was engineered, just for me. For once, I finally have a wealth of common interests with someone. Our pasts are also similar, allowing us to understand each other and see things from a better perspective. We have the most amazing discussions, everything from politics to science. Every conversation is a flood of mental orgasms. But the quiet times are just as powerful. I can't help but to express how he's making me feel and it would be against my nature to not do so. All I want to do is rip his clothes off and jump his bones, but I have to be cognizant of his boundaries and his emotions. I just wonder if he's sensitive to my perspective and can see things from my point of view. He's more reserved and analytical, choosing to think things through (exhaustively, but admirably) before he acts. I don't want to scare him off by my passionate eagerness to please him, nor do I want to push him away by pretending to be aloof. Any advice?
He's very independent and loves his space, which I can appreciate. He's a bit of a selfish lover and says that there's no challenge for him; that I make it too easy. The LAST thing I am is easy and rarely do I ever let people into my personal space. When I do, though, I'm just extremely affectionate with the people I care about. I don't play games and have always been forthright and honest, but I am a little taken aback by his comment (but I'm not insulted).
I find everything about him attractive, particularly his mind. Every iota of my being is drawn to him and I have no guards against this. I'm a very expressive person and the times I can't find words are those when I use my body. I'm only doing what's natural and acting upon how HE makes me feel towards him, so it's his fault, not mine! I love being physical and just feeling him, whether it's cuddling or simply walking down the street and holding hands. It's just come to light that he feels a little stifled by some of this, though (even when HE'S the one that initiates it!).
I don't want to suffocate him, but he says that he gets this way with everyone... that he just needs space and time alone to recharge. He assures me that it's nothing against me, though he's asked me to tone it down because he feels guilty that he's not returning the effort. I said I would, but only if he steps it up... I have needs, too, and it's only going to work between us through some kind of compromise. It would nice to see some reciprocation, or at least a little more effort exerted on his part.
I was previously in a bad relationship before, one where there was no physical compatibility, amongst other things. I'm extremely loyal, even to a fault. I couldn't break it off even though it was killing me. I tried to several times, but the guy just wouldn't let go and move on. I only stuck around because he was going through a really rough time and knew that he needed my help. However, I sacrificed many of my wants and needs for his sake. I don't ever want to be in this kind of scenario again, but I seriously don't think this new guy is like that.
He just operates differently and I need to figure out what makes him tick; what actions push certain buttons. Both of us have been on our own for a while and have perfected our individual quirks and habits. We're still feeling each other out, but we both know that at least we generally hold true to our personality types. I know he cares for me and the fact that we're even communicating about this is huge. I really, really, really like him and know that the feeling is mutual. I knew within fifteen minutes of meeting him that he could be it... the one, but he may take this as me just being irrational or desperate. I've told him this, but wonder if it's an unfair and heavy load for someone that approaches life with their head, not their heart. He said it's not and appreciates my complete honesty. He told me he's envious of me because I'm so sure of my feelings, something his logic can't quite comprehend. Likewise, I love his analytical process, yet wonder why he let's it get in the way of him expressing his feelings.
I'm perfectly fine on my own, though it gets lonely. I don't need anyone to complete me, but never before have I ever found someone that complemented me so intimately. It's like he was engineered, just for me. For once, I finally have a wealth of common interests with someone. Our pasts are also similar, allowing us to understand each other and see things from a better perspective. We have the most amazing discussions, everything from politics to science. Every conversation is a flood of mental orgasms. But the quiet times are just as powerful. I can't help but to express how he's making me feel and it would be against my nature to not do so. All I want to do is rip his clothes off and jump his bones, but I have to be cognizant of his boundaries and his emotions. I just wonder if he's sensitive to my perspective and can see things from my point of view. He's more reserved and analytical, choosing to think things through (exhaustively, but admirably) before he acts. I don't want to scare him off by my passionate eagerness to please him, nor do I want to push him away by pretending to be aloof. Any advice?