INFP male insulting me for no reason?

1146 Views 5 Replies 6 Participants Last post by calicobts, Dec 6, 2017

Mindpalace13

Discussion Starter · Dec 5, 2017 (Edited)

I'm an INFP myself (female), but I'm having some relative trouble pinpointing why my sister's male INFP friend is suddenly being rude towards me. Perhaps I am taking it the wrong way or out of context, but I'm finding it difficult to truly understand his intention and such has been really bogging my mind. He basically told me that I was fake, and that he sees right through me, as well as joked harshly about my long distance relationship (which is rather difficult on me due to the fact that it hurts having a partner so far away). I know that many people generally have qualms with Fi and INFPs attempting to be "too original," but I promise that I always try my best to realize my own hypocrisy, as well as accept it from others if they point something out to me about my behavior. The thing is, he never mentioned why he exactly thought that about me. I can say that I perceived my behavior to be rather normal, and in a comfortable state at the time when he said those things to me. Another concept that baffles me is that he hardly knows me. I've met him about three times, and we seemed to have gotten along quite well, and I'm not sure what exactly happened. For me, it's not as much him calling me fake that bothers me (although it still sort of does), but the reasoning behind it. I just feel as if it came from nowhere, which hurt more than having him properly explain it. Could anyone supply perhaps a different perspective of the situation? Thanks in advance!

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faryrzh

· #2 · Dec 5, 2017

Mindpalace13 said:
The thing is, he never mentioned why he exactly thought that about me. I can say that I perceived my behavior to be rather normal, and in a comfortable state at the time when he said those things to me. Another concept that baffles me is that he hardly knows me. I've met him about three times, and we seemed to have gotten along quite well, and I'm not sure what exactly happened. For me, it's not as much him calling me fake that bothers me (although it still sort of does), but the reasoning behind it. I just feel as if it came from nowhere, which hurt more than having him properly explain it. Could anyone supply perhaps a different perspective of the situation? Thanks in advance!

You should confront him right away, say this in the nicest way possible and sort things out with him.

I can imagine of two INFPs having problem but prefer not to solve it face to face

.
IMO gentle confrontation always crack my Fi shells open, no matter how big the problem is

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TallGreen

· #3 · Dec 5, 2017

Are you absolutely sure he was not just teasing? Because I generally go out of my way not to insult people. Just from what you said i would be inclined to think that he wants your attention, for some reason or other.
What makes you think he is INFP?

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janicesupp0rter

· #4 · Dec 5, 2017

Kick him off his high horse, confront him and ask him straight up what his issue is.
If he doesn’t give you it a straight answer, be firm and tell him that he’s being immature. He shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions

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nablur

· #5 · Dec 5, 2017

Mindpalace13 said:
I'm an INFP myself (female), but I'm having some relative trouble pinpointing why my sister's male INFP friend is suddenly being rude towards me. Perhaps I am taking it the wrong way or out of context, but I'm finding it difficult to truly understand his intention and such has been really bogging my mind. He basically told me that I was fake, and that he sees right through me, as well as joked harshly about my long distance relationship (which is rather difficult on me due to the fact that it hurts having a partner so far away). I know that many people generally have qualms with Fi and INFPs attempting to be "too original," but I promise that I always try my best to realize my own hypocrisy, as well as accept it from others if they point something out to me about my behavior. The thing is, he never mentioned why he exactly thought that about me. I can say that I perceived my behavior to be rather normal, and in a comfortable state at the time when he said those things to me. Another concept that baffles me is that he hardly knows me. I've met him about three times, and we seemed to have gotten along quite well, and I'm not sure what exactly happened. For me, it's not as much him calling me fake that bothers me (although it still sort of does), but the reasoning behind it. I just feel as if it came from nowhere, which hurt more than having him properly explain it. Could anyone supply perhaps a different perspective of the situation? Thanks in advance!

you probably mis-read the situation and are over-reacting or being over-sensitive, which (in my experience) is common with INFP's. Also common however is INFP's will insult people without realizing it, and then get upset when they are told they upset someone else.

Probably best to be direct and confront people you think have slighted you. Too much intuition and not enough fact can cause communication issues. You know what happens what you assume, right?

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calicobts

· #6 · Dec 6, 2017

You need to stand up for yourself and tell him he can't talk to you that way. My ex was an INFP and when we broke up he spoke to me this way. When stressed/unhealthy INFPs can look like an ESTJ and will bulldoze people over.

However, you could be over-reacting to his comment. Which is typical for INFPs to do. So I suggest you take @nablur advice as well.

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