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INFP males, do you feel like you're more sterotypically female?

4879 Views 21 Replies 20 Participants Last post by  Shorttail
I don't know if it's just me, but do you think that society sort of sorts us into the catergory of stereotypically female? With our caring qualities, dislike for conflict and caring values?

I find myself often scoffed at for being as a "sissy" etc.

What do you think? Is this what most people in your society group tell you?

(I ask this because I'm a very messed up kid)
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I think it's insecurity on their part. They can tell that the old super macho man image simply doesn't attract most people today. Society is changing. Alternative sexualities become increasingly accepted. Feminism is in vogue. It's hip to show emotions. In my circle of friends, females often praise me for my INFP qualities, and often in front of other males. A few times I have noticed guys trying to imitate my behavior in order to come off as more sensitive and caring. A part of me thinks its incredibly stupid as everyone should act according to their own personality and not compromise it for the sake of popular opinion.

However another part of me thinks of it as a well-deserved payback. Serve you emotionless males right for suppressing us all these years! :tongue:
Emotional Maturity is in part being able to show emotions.

Having 'feelings/sensitivity' certainly hasn't worked against me.
I feel like that I'd happier and get by and accepted in life a lot more easier if I was a girl but if I was a girl I'd still be pretty strange because I won't be that Stereotypical, Just the same as I am now. :p

But I am who I am and I don't really act like anything but myself. :cool:
i do and i don't have a problem with it. the sterotypes are flawed anyways.
I've been called a sissy or a girl many times just for having long hair. But that had nothing to do with me, as those people were drunks or idiots (though usually drunk idiots) who didn't know me.

The only one who scoffs me for being feminine is myself. I do a pretty good job at it though..

But I generally live in a very accepting environment.
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Yes. ...and about the only difference is that I am sexually attracted to women and not men. :tongue:

...that and I don't go to the bathroom with others in packs and don't like to gabber on the phone. lol
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This makes it sound like a double edges sword/pendulum thingy for any Male INFP.

As in I receive a signal from men that i'm not supposed to be feminine and that i'm supposed to be uncomfortable sharing my feelings.
If I may explain this better, it is like two stages in a video game one has to overcome.

I felt this would come out insightful, yet it has turned out chaotic.
Society keeps telling me to be a rock on the wagon wheel.
No!, I don't feel like a female. This kind of conversation is what makes me seriously question if I am an INFP. I share several traits with INFP's, but I feel something is off because I still identify with many typical male traits. Many of you are almost proud to be "feminine" or something and I never once considered myself feminine. I have feelings and I am able to show them to certain people very easily, but I am still a guy. I work out, played organized sports, talk smack with my friends, drink, curse, and act like a regular guy etc. Come on guys, you are embarrassing yourselves by conversations like this! Just because you can express emotion better than most other guys doesn't mean you have to be a wimpy wet noodle! Jeez.
Right on! However we can have a tendency for building up steam and releasing it at once which is more attributed to be female behaviour. Saying everything is fine and then you get an argument that also involves things from 4 weeks ago. ;)
I'd never consider myself a sissy, my strength is just at the other end of the spectrum. I'm still pretty "male like", I've never been told I act like a girl or show emotions like one. I'm just a guy who has feelings as a guy, not a girl.
"INFP males, do you feel like you're more stereotypically female?"

Not really. I find myself acting more undefined compared to societies typical point of view. I act different from most men and women I see.
Is it a feminine trait to have a giant rod and sack between my legs?
No, absolutely not. Trusting your feelings does not mean that you are passive and/or weak. These are two unrelated traits.
I find myself often scoffed at for being as a "sissy" etc.

What do you think? Is this what most people in your society group tell you?
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i laughed so damn hard when i saw that!
Is it a feminine trait to have a giant rod and sack between my legs?
I've not gotten any problems with being an INFP male other than the sense of being ignored, which is just my perception and not reality. I don't feel the need to express my feelings at all with others, especially undeserving strangers, I'm quite happy in my own little shell when I'm in public. I don't get offended by people at all unless I have a personal agenda with them.

I'm not currently aware of the "female stereotypes" that infp males face i guess, so it doesn't concern me as much as it does with those who worry about such nonsense. If people don't like me for me, then that's their loss in every sense, what would i have to gain from having such a miserable person in my life? Nothing, move along now. So those who believe in these stereotypes as even existing need to question your own way of thinking and why you're holding onto to them, it's rather insane.

"Not really. I find myself acting more undefined compared to societies typical point of view. I act different from most men and women I see."
What BlueGuardian said.

I agree completely, the only insecurities i may face is not being the stereotypical guy. Which i don't care to be. Trying to be something is a sure sign that you're not. Meaning guys who try to be all macho and tough acting, are rather weak and insecure about themselves, so they have to show the world how tough they are.
I just be myself, if someone wants to flex or get all fighty, i end it quickly, no need to puff my chest out and pretend. It takes a lot of real strength, something INFP males have and is often overlooked by society (because society in general is weak and insecure) so they see us as a threat. I'm sure a lot of other guys can relate to this scenario, We walk into a bar/club/venue of any sort, and every guy around us instantly changes demeanor for the worse. Why? Because they can read as well enough that we're the real men women want and they still have to prove themselves. We command authority without even wanting it or seeing it.
I almost feel bad for other guys when they get that way, but then i don't, because i don't care for their idiotic ways and being victims of their own constraint and created devices.

Side note, for the girls who like that typical type of male, i want nothing to do with your kind. Ever. :D
I remember as child that I was not associated with the other 'sissies' just because I was kind of good in sports. But yeah, even in my family, the women seem to have more testosterone than me, well also cause I am an introvert and such, but i would not call it being feminine behavior. its called being nurturing.
As an ISFJ male, I also feel like I have a lot of traits that are stereotypically/traditionally considered female, so I can't help but feel like the I and the F are the main components that contribute to this notion (though it's hard to say which of the four IF types are considered to be most "feminine").

Everybody goes about dealing with it in different ways, and getting resolution about it is bound to be easier for some people than it is for others. I would say the best thing is just to understand that being yourself is most important, and it helps a lot when you surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are, even if they sometimes offer you help in improving your weak areas (and a male being "feminine" isn't one of those! :) ).

Like many things, type is a contributor but not the direct cause, as evidenced in this thread. Your type doesn't define you as a person, but neither should outside influences in society.
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nope, while I do have the INFP traits I am also really into rugby, muscle cars, trucks, firearms and am most likely going to find a career in the military.
I view myself into more of the undefined category (paradox).

Like the shaman gender, androgynous. Perhaps the INFP coined hermit.

I can see the trusting yourself aspect in peoples post's true as that's a theme commonly played in fantasy movies.
Some of these posts that border gender/sex/sexuality though remind me of a Mindless Self Indulgence quote though:
"I have a dick and it gets hard then that's good. I walk down the street and if I see a girl and my dick gets hard that's good and if I see a boy that's good too and same with seeing a chicken. If my dick gets hard and I want to fuck it then that's good. People like to attach labels to themselves, straight, gay, S&M, it's just so simple. It doesn't matter what you do whether its horrible or mainstream or boring, you know what turns you on. So why the big brouhaha?"

I use it more universally though. There's not really a path or adventure you can quest upon if you express a category you are in. There's no quest to the INFP. No quest to become a sissy. It's like pulling out a card from the deck and attaching it to yourself. As much as i've tried to prove to myself that I hone the powers of an unhealthy enneagram type or my favorite MBTI type, there's really no quest to or through it.
To answer your question simply: yes, I am more stereotypically female. Just this weekend in a maskmaking workshop, I chose the most feminine face mold. I will have a subtle powerful expression that doesn't require the engine of a Hummer to exhaust in one's face, and when outside the tank I show off my tools.
I'm obviously misunderstanding what it means to be stereotypically Male though, because what it's portrayed as sounds much more insecure.
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