[Inigo]

INFP men only, please.

I think some guys voted on the female version of this poll (it's okay, don't feel bad), but I am curious if there's a difference of views between INFP guys and girls.

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INFP Males Only: Do You Want to Get Married?

Why or why not?

 

[Deni]

I would like to get married yes. At some point in your life after you meet all the " meaningless females " you want to settle down with the one person who constantly gives you butterflies. When I meet the right person I would want her to be the only one I sleep with or go out on dates with, See I usually don't get emotionally attached, sure I have females I sleep with but at the end of the day they're not who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I guess in my opinion once you find someone you want to spend your life with and raise beautiful babies what other way to commit to her than marry her?

 

[Inigo]

I want love & committed relationship, but I'm very skeptical / cynical about marriage.

I don't want to end up like my parents with their loveless, unhappy marriage – which in some ways is worse than if they were divorced.

 

[Danielsearch]

I think a lot of us will ruin/damage our marriages with a lot of fantasy and ideals.

Marriage, as I've heard from family and other married INFPs, is not as romantic as you would first think, and maybe should not be hoped for/based on/counted on for "romance".

I'm at about 18 months in my relationship and romance doesn't do it.

Do I want to marry? Yes. Pro creation is a goal of mine and I will require a committed relationship before beginning that process.

Most importantly I want to make sure I am healthy enough in the relationship before I get caught up in a musical and screw my kids up.

A frustration for me in being an INFP male is my suspicion that INFP females sort of get a pass, especially with how traditional marriage is defended and upheld as the standard where men are the breadwinners and proverbial rock or foundation.

I have been warned by family members not to be so emotional or in the clouds or naive because I'll be giving up my "power" as a man. >.>

Men must "subdue" their wives y'see...

Sorry if I sound negative. I think a new chapter on marriage is being written as women begin to share and redefine their roles in the household. No one said there were any right or wrong answers to life, but I am pretty sick of what the Bible Belt has to say about the male INFP, a very strong contradiction to the archetypal breadwinner, emotionless football enthusiast.

(P.S. GEAUX TIGERS)

I think my head is in the right direction and I certainly have a gem of a girlfriend but it is going to take some time for me to mature as I examine and rewrite the marital contract to fit OUR needs. Though there is still this issue of "sowing wild oats".

 

[AllorNuthin]

Yes, but I am going to learn from my Spanish relatives and date for 6 years before I get married. I have cousins who stayed at home until they were 34 and dated their girlfriends for seven years before moving out, getting a place, and paying for a wedding all at once. I think marriage is the goal, after all, being a husband and father are the two most challenging and rewarding things for a dude. But I am highly cautious, after all I'm an idealist and am sometimes naive. I'm not in any hurry, but I'm already practicing being a badass husband (cooking bomb pasta.)

 

[Darkestblue]

I put no, though I'm not entirely sure, but I'm leaning more towards no. I don't know what I want out of a relationship, or if I even want one. I think I want one thing, then it comes along, and I find out the hard way that I don't want it. Even if I did find someone I end up spending the rest of my life with, is marriage even necessary? I don't think I'd feel any different about it whether we're married or not. I think I'd like to be with someone who felt the same way.

You never know, though. 20 years from now I could be happily married with a handful of kids. I'm not the type to do long term planning.

 

[Inigo]

Yeah, I'll never fit the mold of the ideal American Husband: hard-working, bread-winning, beer-chugging, football-watching, dependable, reliable, achiever.

Instead I'm a work-hating, bread-eating, alcohol-dabbling, sports-hating, independent, fickle, dreamer.

Who wants to marry that?

 

[Inigo]

@AllorNuthin, +1 for "bomb pasta"

 

[DWK]

Been married for 21 years...to the same person...which is a very good thing. Am I easy to live with, most likely the answer is no. But a married a very patient woman which makes me a lucky man.

 

[Absurdist]

I do (no pun intended), i want to but it has to be to the right woman. I want so much out of it but i also want to give just as much as i take. I want to be something more than an individual, to share a connection with someone on that unparallelled level. I want what most now a days give up on and be something many fail so easily at.

 

[Whynd]

I answered Maybe... specifically because I already did the "married" thing, chose the wrong person (who ended up being a cheating wh**e), divorced her, and now I'm not so sure I trust anyone enough to commit like that again...If I happen to run into someone some time who I can love, trust, build a committed relationship with, and will unconditionally accept my children whom I have custody of, then I will certainly get married again, but I don't hold out much or any hope of it happening...no offense intended to anyone here on this forum. =)

 

[Somniorum]

DAMMIT. thought you were proposing : ( oh, always a bride's maid...

oh well...

as for the actual question at hand - yes and no?

i dont put much importance under the ritual of marriage, and am kind of doubtful about its historical origins. and then there's vague ideological inclinations besides. frankly, simply being in love with someone and having a common law "marriage", de facto "marriage" due to simply being together and committed is just fine with me.

but, were i with someone who did put importance in the ritual, i'm not enough against it that i'd make a fuss.

 

[tissa]

(P.S. GEAUX TIGERS)
.

lol i go to lsu

 

[tissa]

Yeah, I'll never fit the mold of the ideal American Husband: hard-working, bread-winning, beer-chugging, football-watching, dependable, reliable, achiever.

Instead I'm a work-hating, bread-eating, alcohol-dabbling, sports-hating, independent, fickle, dreamer.

Who wants to marry that?

No one. I hope you let your women know who you really are early in a dating and do not allow them to find all that out a hard way

 

[Acey]

I'd like to get married one day, but I'm open to not getting married.

 

[gaudy316]

I want to get married and have kids. I want to combine marriage and love because a lot of other people separate the two. I want to be with someone I can love for the rest of my life. Someone that loves children, espouses traditional marriage and commitment, and wants to devote herself to our family. At the same time, she's very passionate with her life and our intimacy. She's patient. She's intelligent. She's considerate of my feelings. She understands me. As much as I'm a forgiving person, she's a forgiving person as well. To sum it up, she must be a woman who loves her parents (who are stable in their relationship as well) and practices Christianity. Her parents also must get along with my parents to the point that they're best friends.

 

[gaudy316]

lol i go to lsu

I hate LSU! I hate how Alabama gets a shoe-in when they lost at home and can't hit a single field goal out of the several that they missed. I hope Oklahoma State sneaks in because they're far more deserving.

 

[bromide]

I want to get married and have kids. I want to combine marriage and love because a lot of other people separate the two. I want to be with someone I can love for the rest of my life. Someone that loves children, espouses traditional marriage and commitment, and wants to devote herself to our family. At the same time, she's very passionate with her life and our intimacy. She's patient. She's intelligent. She's considerate of my feelings. She understands me. As much as I'm a forgiving person, she's a forgiving person as well. To sum it up, she must be a woman who loves her parents (who are stable in their relationship as well) and practices Christianity. Her parents also must get along with my parents to the point that they're best friends.

So foreveralone, huh.

 

[Acey]

So foreveralone, huh.

one can dream can't they?

 

[Runvardh]

I answered yes; but that could be common law, for all I care, in regards to implementation. The relationship is the part I'm more concerned about - the one that seems to either not happen or ends up a mess.

Part of me is thinking of not waiting and adopting once things stabilize. Can't have one thing I want, why the hell shouldn't I try for the other?