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INFP Men: Do You Want to Get Married?

  • Yes

    Votes: 43 44.8%
  • Maybe

    Votes: 30 31.3%
  • No

    Votes: 23 24.0%
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practices Christianity. Her parents also must get along with my parents to the point that they're best friends.
up until these words i was ready to scream "I am here!" But I am not gonna put myself in a situation when I will have to be responsible if my parents do not get along with the parents of my SO. My parents are not me and if they can not find a common ground with someone else, why am I the one to suffer from it?

As for religion part...some people are spiritual, but do not go to church every Sunday. Does it make them bad people?
 

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I hate LSU! I hate how Alabama gets a shoe-in when they lost at home and can't hit a single field goal out of the several that they missed. I hope Oklahoma State sneaks in because they're far more deserving.
Lucky me coz I went to Oklahoma before LSU. I have 2 reasons to be excited lol (in fact I am not a football fan at all)
 

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I'd like to think I could love a woman and not be amrried to her because i fear that it may lead to me feeling that i've got her and ruin what ever passion there once was in it.
So by marrying her I guess my fear of losing her would increase where as if we weren't married i'd have some sort of healthy fear of losing her which would only result in me in putting in more effort than feeling safe in marriage. But then again should be putting in effort all the time anyway. I dont know. It's a bit scary and im naive.
 

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@Danielsearch: No, marriage won't live up to our ideals where romance is concerned, but we need not be disappointed by that. During my 6-year relationship, I did find that the romance wasn't always there (even when things were good). However, there is something to be said for the comfort and the companionship. I think it's a fair exchange: you might lose all the excitement and romance of a new relationship, but you have the comfort of seeing the same face every day, and of REALLY knowing someone and being known.

And I think your family members have the WRONG idea. It will be your marriage; you and your wife will decide what works best for you. Personally, I think the emotionless, breadwinning football enthusiast is extremely unappealing. What woman wants a man who is going to spend his whole week working and then spend his whole weekend drinking beer on the couch???
 

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In reality I'm stuck in status quo, where I am ruled by my ambivalance, and have been so for a long time, something I try to break free from everyday. When I eventually get my freedom I'm afraid I may or may not be able to settle down, ever. It's like this free spirit is bubbling inside, rattling its cage. I must stay true to myself, and therefor relationships may be difficult and even more so, marriage.

But who knows, maybe I meet someone that wants that kind of life. I answered 'maybe'.
 

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I do, but I don't think I have a lot of faith that it will happen. I don't mind being single and I enjoy the freedom it brings, but I still feel I would like to be with someone. What has held me back all these years is fear and anger. I also agree with what people say about the idealism. If I could pass one thing down to young guys or teens, is don't let fear hold you back from asking a girl out. And if you have a bad experience; please let go of the anger and move on. Don't paint all women with the same brush. I also feel that it is important to not put women up on a pedestal and have realistic expectations as to what a female is and how she thinks and feels. And finally if your like me and have a lot of sexual shame; let go of it. Don't ask yourself why it is there and you are not a pervert for having sexual feelings towards women and it is alright to act on those feelings. I just ordered a book called "No more Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. From what another member on a different forum posted, it looked like it may be a good read for me.
 

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I answered maybe, for a variety of reasons. Mostly in that I'm pretty unsure if I would be willing to settle down at the moment. There's a lot of things that take up my attention and I don't think it'd be fair to either me or a prospective girlfriend to bring them into that kind of situation.

Taken from an old post of what I look for:

I must be attracted to both her mind and body. Similar outlooks on life, genuine appreciation for each other, our strengths complement our weaknesses, and we both strive to reciprocate feelings for each other. Qualities I look for are honesty, intelligence, loyalty, and an ability to communicate. In short a best friend to share the joys and sorrows of life together and a desire to travel the world.
My parents have been married for about 23 years now, and I've increasingly admired them for it as time has passed. I feel that there's a certain beauty in being able to wake up next to the same person every day and know that you're both committed to each other. Marriage or not, that's a large part of what I want in the future when I'm older. The vows taken are just icing on the cake, but I'd take the actual relationship over a ceremony any day.
 

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I'm on my late 20s. I've never had much luck with the girls. My last and longest relationships (with an ENTJ) lasted about ten months. I'm tired of all those pointless bitches or hens around. And my dad (ISFJ) and mom (ISTJ) have been married like almost thirty years now and they still rock together which means the highest possible standard relationship as a role model. Oh, and my sister in her mid-late 20s (INTP) has the same issue. And she already took a pet cat...
 

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Marriage to women, eh? Too bad this poll doesn't ask about kids. I'd like to know how strongly Yes for marriage goes with wanting children.
 

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I have my doubts about humans being monogamous creatures. I am cynical about marriage--just look at how high the divorce rate is, and how so many of those who are still married are unhappy. But I am interested in having a long term committed relationship...the couple of best friendships that I have give me hope that I am capable of having affection after so many years. But I know very few successful long-term relationships that dont involve at least one party settling. I dont know...nothings perfect and occasional hook ups certainly arent fulfilling, but i would hate to get married just because people around me are or society expects me to.
 

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Maybe, but I value loyalty more than marriage because loyalty means staying a lifetime together, and has no foundation but loyalty, marriage has a foundation because it is based on principles because it is an invented word.

Even though i like some assumptions in marriage such as images of having a nice house together etc. But in my opinion it is purely about the feeling and from that feeling comes everything, and part of that everything is loyalty. I suppose they invented marriage for having basic principles which are of practical use so that loyalty could be approximated. I just feel like I need to find my principles anyway, with or without marriage, rather from my environment than from the principles of marriage. It makes more sense to me and it makes me feel less tied to materialism from governments and companies trying to put a commerce stamp on marriage which takes away the principle of love: you and me and there's no picture frame in the world that can capture our love, from now on until the second we die.

<3
 
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I don't like restrictions.

**Not INFP, not male**

You mad, bro? ;)
A "restrictive INFP" works out like an oxymoron, because they will in all probability want you to be the way you are, and not restrict your personality/beliefs/ or actions in any way or fashion (and will try to help you if they think your actions are holding you back, but seldom in a preachy manner-only because they care.) I understand about not liking males or marriage,' cause that's what you've chosen, and they may feel "restrictive" depending on any given individual's stance and experience. However, I don't see INFPs (and ESPECIALLY INFPs, considering that many other personalities stick much more to the tried and true) as the embodiment of "restriction". :)

Not mad, though! :{D
 

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A "restrictive INFP" works out like an oxymoron, because they will in all probability want you to be the way you are, and not restrict your personality/beliefs/ or actions in any way or fashion (and will try to help you if they think your actions are holding you back, but seldom in a preachy manner-only because they care.) I understand about not liking males or marriage,' cause that's what you've chosen, and they may feel "restrictive" depending on any given individual's stance and experience. However, I don't see INFPs (and ESPECIALLY INFPs, considering that many other personalities stick much more to the tried and true) as the embodiment of "restriction". :)

Not mad, though! :{D


really.jpg

Uh, lol, I was making a joke... and you killed it. It's dead, and it's all your fault. Don't speak to me. We're no longer friends. I'm setting up the headstone now... Here Lies My Dead Joke; IcarusDreams killed it. You're dead to me... just like my dead joke... which you killed.

And for clarity's sake... where did I imply that I neither liked males nor marriage? o_0
 

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Many INFPs will prefer a life-long committed relationship over a marriage for its own sake. In my mind, though, the two need not be mutually exclusive (marriage only meaning a social expectation, and a relationship outside marriage being the "real way" to have a life-long relationship.) The important thing is to marry 1)with a person that you really love unconditionally, you two being a beautiful match for each other (I believe in true love, and that such relationships exist and still do happen-no cynicism here), and that you understand that things will change, that there will be problems and real life situations that may "endanger" the beautiful link you have, but that your love for each other can indeed overcome all difficulties and keep you both together for the rest of your lives, AND IN TRUE LOVE. Thus, even though I do value a meaningful relationship over everything, I would love to get married to that special person that makes my life even more special, on due time, 'cause I feel it bringing me even closer to her as a human being (and taking away all "romantic" elements, consider how many benefits married couples have-if you love somebody that much, why not enjoy living married together as one? ^^)
 

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View attachment 27522

Uh, lol, I was making a joke... and you killed it. It's dead, and it's all your fault. Don't speak to me. We're no longer friends. I'm setting up the headstone now... Here Lies My Dead Joke; IcarusDreams killed it. You're dead to me... just like my dead joke... which you killed.

And for clarity's sake... where did I imply that I neither liked males nor marriage? o_0
I am sorry, I didn't get it. :p Since you said "No restrictions, then followed by no INFPs, no males" I took it to mean that marriage, males and INFPs meant "restriction" in your mind. (It is common for people to think that marriage is restrictive.) Perhaps it is that I didn't understand your joke? I apologize for misinterpreting your words.
 

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I am sorry, I didn't get it. :p Since you said "No restrictions, then followed by no INFPs, no males" I took it to mean that marriage, males and INFPs meant "being restrictive" in your mind. (It is common for people to think that marriage is restrictive.) Perhaps it is that I didn't understand your joke? I apologize for misinterpreting your words.
The title of the thread... then my post. That should clear things up.
 
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