INFP men

4512 Views 41 Replies 26 Participants Last post by Runvardh, Apr 7, 2012

Zeitgeist

Discussion Starter · Mar 24, 2012

I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.

I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter? I want to study you, intuit your problems, and fix all of your old wounds. Together, we can write some beautiful novels.

Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?

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Isthmus

· #2 · Mar 24, 2012

rshortman said:
I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.

I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?

I think I'm hiding behind a T mask. Can't do an E mask, that eats up way too much energy. I wouldn't say it's particularly strange, but I do feel like I'm hiding a bit of myself from a lot of people I know. Though that part doesn't really mind spending time alone, so it's not that big of a deal.

I'm probably very much oversimplifying or just plain wrong, but it feels like female INFPs have more options to advertising their INFP-ness without actually wearing their hearts on their sleeves, and somehow I would think that would help in forming friendships. Again, on some level I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, and that female INFPs aren't all the stereotype, but having added a healthy dose of wishful thinking, the grass does look a little bit greener on the other side.

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Senter

· #3 · Mar 24, 2012

I think it's nobodies job to fix my wounds. just me. I think it's a little strange being alive period and not just as an INFP.

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Runvardh

· #4 · Mar 24, 2012

I'm on the train, hiding behind my sunglasses so you can't see my tears. I'm hiding amung the Ts for my intellectual needs while my emotional and sexual suffer.

Actually, if you want intellectual stimulation, go where it actually is instead of where it might be. Some of us are there if you truly look; though young or old, I can't guarantee.

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tylerjg33

· #5 · Mar 25, 2012

Being an INFP is pretty cool I suppose. I mean, I feel like I'm just another person in the structure! Everyone has a role and I'm just playing mine. I don't think I'm hiding like you suggested, but I am definitely lurking LOL. I live in Seattle and go to school. I'm pretty tired of school. I'm considering getting a "real" job and taking an online class or two a quarter. IDK!

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Tim Knight

· #6 · Mar 25, 2012

Yea i dont know any infps either besides me. I dont really like being an infp man because of the stigma associated with it. Thinking about were to find me, i just had the epiphany that Im really hard to find. The only way to get to know me would be through school, work or a friend, at a party, but I rarely have the energy for those.

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Zeitgeist

Discussion Starter · #7 · Mar 25, 2012

Isthmus said:
I think I'm hiding behind a T mask. Can't do an E mask, that eats up way too much energy. I wouldn't say it's particularly strange, but I do feel like I'm hiding a bit of myself from a lot of people I know. Though that part doesn't really mind spending time alone, so it's not that big of a deal.

I'm probably very much oversimplifying or just plain wrong, but it feels like female INFPs have more options to advertising their INFP-ness without actually wearing their hearts on their sleeves, and somehow I would think that would help in forming friendships. Again, on some level I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, and that female INFPs aren't all the stereotype, but having added a healthy dose of wishful thinking, the grass does look a little bit greener on the other side.

You're prolly right. It's gotta be tough being such a deep, feeling male. You can't show that too much without facing a lot of rejection. I truly wish I could get to know you :-(

Reactions: 3

Zeitgeist

Discussion Starter · #8 · Mar 25, 2012

Runvardh said:
I'm on the train, hiding behind my sunglasses so you can't see my tears. I'm hiding amung the Ts for my intellectual needs while my emotional and sexual suffer.

Actually, if you want intellectual stimulation, go where it actually is instead of where it might be. Some of us are there if you truly look; though young or old, I can't guarantee.

oh its so crazy. I looked at your profile and you're like a male version of me

-0). You're even the same age.

Murnando

· #9 · Mar 25, 2012

I tend to hide behind an E mask to a certain extent. I'm still in compulsory education, so I'm pretty much forced to socialise with people every minute of every of school hours, so I don't exactly have a choice in the matter. I tend to go through phases, inside school and out, when it comes to being around other people. For an hour or two I'll be extremely extrovert with my Ne, being making a lot of jokes, being lighthearted and I hope quite a fun person to be around (so long as you don't mind my dorky sense of humour). However, after this hour or maybe 2, I crash completely and couldn't go back into extrovert mode even if I wanted to. From that point on, I keep to myself, say as little as possible and just get through the rest of the day.

I honestly don't care that much that I'm not a part of society's ideal man image. I'm okay with being sort-of feminine, and I'm okay with being seen as a nerd and not really boyfriend material (god I want to kill myself for using the words "boyfriend material"), because I'm still in school, where every social convention is shallow and immature, a place that still runs by the system of social castes. One day that will change, and if it doesn't, then I'll still be happier being myself than playing into the hands of petty social stigmas and rules.

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FaveteLinguis

· #10 · Mar 25, 2012

How strange is it to be an INFP man?
Not all that strange?? From an outsider looking in on the world......well the world can seem pretty strange at times instead of vice versa.

How do you feel?
Brain chemicals and fired up nerves?

Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?
First thought is the batcave.....but I'm neither rich, intensely athletic, or all that dark and gloomy. I'm personally exploring the world, traveling, and setting up my later life for fun, leisure, and accomplishment.

Thoughts?
Many. Too many.

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Adasta

· #11 · Mar 25, 2012

rshortman said:
How strange is it to be an INFP man?

Pretty strange. Other men are usually confused as to why I seem to attract women quite naturally yet I don't sleep with them (at least not immediately). They fail to see that these women are attracted simply because they can sense that I am not just trying to sleep with them.

I have friends that are quite understanding of me. The male friends I have consider me to be capricious and intelligent; I respect all of my male friends for various reasons and they respect me mainly because I am knowledgeable, honest, and quite undemanding.

The strangest thing about being an INFP man is, I think, my own lack of self-awareness. I am not often aware myself insofar as others perceive me, so it is always surprising when a girl comes along that likes me. I've known women to become angry that I have not made a move on them when I have simply been unaware that sitting in a room alone with them chatting may, in some way, suggest romance.

rshortman said:
How do you feel?

Happy when I am hearing about people talk about the things they love. I am also happy when I am indulging in daydreaming with another. I am sad when I think of people that are missing out on how great they could be, and I frequently lament the "SJ nature" of society, whereby people sacrifice the best years of their lives to acquire a mortgage they might pay off in their 60s.

rshortman said:
Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?

I am usually doing something solitary. I would love nothing more than my daydream to be broken by a beautiful woman. My advice would be not to hold back. If I'm not alone, I'm probably with one or two friends.

rshortman said:
Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?

What do you want to know about yourself?

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Shwanald

· #12 · Mar 25, 2012

I like being an INFP, but at times it is very difficult. I hide behind an E mask a lot and it is exhausting. I work in a SJ dominate environment witch can be tough.

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Zeitgeist

Discussion Starter · #13 · Mar 25, 2012

Isthmus said:
I think I'm hiding behind a T mask. Can't do an E mask, that eats up way too much energy. I wouldn't say it's particularly strange, but I do feel like I'm hiding a bit of myself from a lot of people I know. Though that part doesn't really mind spending time alone, so it's not that big of a deal.

I have that tendency as well to hide behind a T mask, particularly around INTPs, ISTPs and INTJs. I know what you mean about 'hiding' although I've gotten better about communicating to people what I'm really like.

Isthmus said:
I'm probably very much oversimplifying or just plain wrong, but it feels like female INFPs have more options to advertising their INFP-ness without actually wearing their hearts on their sleeves, and somehow I would think that would help in forming friendships. Again, on some level I'm pretty sure it's not that easy, and that female INFPs aren't all the stereotype, but having added a healthy dose of wishful thinking, the grass does look a little bit greener on the other side.

You can't stereotype an INFP for sure, because we're all different stages in our development. I imagine that an unaware/undeveloped INFP prolly brings out their ESTJ shadow more. Conversly, I imagine INFP men see all the masculine ESTJ men and think "What is wrong with me? Why do I seem to have more in common with women than with these preening, posturing dudes? They're all about as deep as a puddle!"

I don't think you lack masculinity. There is something very provider/protector-ish about a devoted, caring deep thinker (i.e mysterious) INFP man.

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Zeitgeist

Discussion Starter · #14 · Mar 25, 2012

Adasta said:
Other men are usually confused as to why I seem to attract women quite naturally yet I don't sleep with them (at least not immediately). They fail to see that these women are attracted simply because they can sense that I am not just trying to sleep with them.

Ha! Funny, I bet they trust you implicity. You prolly don't fight the "friend zone" like other guys do. Ironically, it's that relaxed sincerity which will get your platonic female friends to end up seducing you! Lol! I wonder if you would have the same effect on me or if by virtue of being INFP also, or if it would just reinforce the introvert in us both, making us more withdrawn and less engaged. On the other hand, I could see the Ne/Fe interaction resulting in a lot of passion.

Adasta said:
I have friends that are quite understanding of me. The male friends I have consider me to be capricious and intelligent; I respect all of my male friends for various reasons and they respect me mainly because I am knowledgeable, honest, and quite undemanding.

Sounds like you have some great friends. They prolly dually like you because you're not outright vying for the alpha dog position. I noticed that makes a lot of men uncomfortable, even SJ types. Some male groups don't even have an alpha. I suspect you belong to one of these groups or just hang out with men on a one-on-one basis. Each guy is uniquely valuable in what they can bring to the table, some amusing, some insightful, others ambitious or just handy. You prolly see yourself as different from them, never being able to connect with them on all levels because that would be impossible. This is pretty much exactly how I see my friends. They have their strengths and their weaknesses. I take it as it is and would not for the world, want to change them. In return, they don't try to change me.

Adasta said:
The strangest thing about being an INFP man is, I think, my own lack of self-awareness. I am not often aware myself insofar as others perceive me, so it is always surprising when a girl comes along that likes me. I've known women to become angry that I have not made a move on them when I have simply been unaware that sitting in a room alone with them chatting may, in some way, suggest romance.

I could see that, not because you're not intuitive and observant but because women are especially coy and manipulative when it comes to the dating game (not INFPs, we dont play that shit). Combine that with being a 'dreamer' inside you're own head and an affinity for self-doubt and you got a guy who does not do a lot of sweet-talking and wooing. Not that you're not interested, just that you're not all smoke and mirrors. You're genuine. In fact, charming your way into a girl's panties would prolly feel forced and contrived and you'd hate yourself for doing it.

Adasta said:
Happy when I am hearing about people talk about the things they love. I am also happy when I am indulging in daydreaming with another. I am sad when I think of people that are missing out on how great they could be, and I frequently lament the "SJ nature" of society, whereby people sacrifice the best years of their lives to acquire a mortgage they might pay off in their 60s.

Oh! Don't I know it! The credit system too, what kind of crap is that?! We live in a world where ESTJs are the majority and we are the tiny minority. Proof of this is the fact that they don't count those of us who don't want insurance or a 401k in political statistics. They literally ignore us! Not to mention all the micromanaging laws they pass every year, like banning smoking in bars or that horrific SOPA bill they tried shoving down our throats as of recent. No respect for individuality and freedom, equally offensive as if they barged into my home and told me I need to load my dishwasher a certain way because they're just "trying to help". Woo, sorry Fi tangent.

Adasta said:
I am usually doing something solitary. I would love nothing more than my daydream to be broken by a beautiful woman. My advice would be not to hold back. If I'm not alone, I'm probably with one or two friends.

Drinking coffee and reading something existential no doubt? I should look for those guys and invade their personal bubble...soooo hard for me to do. No wonder INFP men and I are strangers.

Adasta said:
What do you want to know about yourself?

That question make me blush. The fact that you're engaging me at all on that level is quite flattering. I don't even know what to say, lol.

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T.N.D.

· #15 · Mar 26, 2012

I start to fear that I am an INFP raised to become INTJ! Learned that feelings is bad but logics is good.

Because I did a new test today where I was more honest and I got INFP instead of INTP. I also cant recognize myself being much INTP because I read that INTPs are cold but people that know me well has always described me as warm. I also is nurturing tending to place other needs ahead of my own.

How do you know if you are INTP or INFP or am I just a mix?

Is there a good description of male INFPs somewhere cause I understand that mostly INFPs are female.

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Zeitgeist

Discussion Starter · #16 · Mar 26, 2012

T.N.D. said:
I start to fear that I am an INFP raised to become INTJ! Learned that feelings is bad but logics is good.

Because I did a new test today where I was more honest and I got INFP instead of INTP. I also cant recognize myself being much INTP because I read that INTPs are cold but people that know me well has always described me as warm. I also is nurturing tending to place other needs ahead of my own.

How do you know if you are INTP or INFP or am I just a mix?

Is there a good description of male INFPs somewhere cause I understand that mostly INFPs are female.

That's a good question. I have also struggled with this as I am not as much of a 'feeler' as most INFPs and I too, have spent my life in Thinker environments which value logic and look down on Feelers. I have consistently tested as a borderline Thinker/Feeler and wondered if I wasn't actually an INTP (or even an INFJ!).

I have found it's better to look at the whole picture and get to know each personality thoroughly and you'll notice you fit almost all the patterns of only one distinctly, even if you have a lot o commonality with other types. An INFP is a very distinct personality type, just as much as an INTJ. Patterns in thought and behavior include a desire to be alone mixed with keen interest in other people, a desite to "right" all the "wrongs" of the world or between family and friends (a peacemaker role), extreme interest in self/introspection, and a distinct desire for authenticity in yourself in others.

Where it gets confusing is just intellectual INFPs are. In fact, the term "dreamer" is a misnomer. The more accurate term should be "The Warm and Cuddly Intellectual" because we are just as analytical and inuitive. We just tend to go about it from a more existential angle as opposed to a scientific angle (although INFPs can be quite scientific about existentialism).

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Kaspa

· #17 · Mar 26, 2012

rshortman said:
I think I am the only INFP That I know IRL although it is possible that I do and INFPs are just lurking in the shadows and hiding behind E masks.

I digress. INFP men here on PerC are fascinating to me, particularly the straight males. How strange is it to be an INFP man? How do you feel? Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter? I want to study you, intuit your problems, and fix all of your old wounds. Together, we can write some beautiful novels.

Okay so that was more of a diatribe than a question. Seriously, I need to connect with some of you men. I feel like you'd help me understand myself better. Thoughts?

Strange in a way, that societal expectations for "the Man" differ in myriads of ways in the way INFP man thinks and feels. INFP is total opposite for the caricaturic imago of business man. You get accusations/speculations of being gay, when you are not.

We hide in the sewers and eat small children. Not really, but you can find us in the artsy-fartsy nightclub being that socially awkward
guy in the corner. Or at the library looking up some art/history/philosophy/novels.

But I must say that I enjoy being INFP, and this is the only way I would like it to be. Even though life gets hard on us sometimes, that's life, and that's fine. Winning is done by getting hits, and still rising up again.

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da_gobbo

· #18 · Mar 26, 2012

How strange is it to be an INFP man?
sometimes

How do you feel?
happier and less confused than i was a year ago

Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?
behind the appearance of an INTX (probably an INTP, my interests and hobbies don't really shout F over T so unlees you really get to know me i'll seme like a T)

Thoughts?
bats are really cute:tongue: (well all rodents really)

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Zeitgeist

Discussion Starter · #19 · Mar 26, 2012

da_gobbo said:
How strange is it to be an INFP man?
sometimes

How do you feel?
happier and less confused than i was a year ago

Where are you all hiding so I can meet you and engage in INFP intellectual/existential banter?
behind the appearance of an INTX (probably an INTP, my interests and hobbies don't really shout F over T so unlees you really get to know me i'll seme like a T)

Thoughts?
bats are really cute:tongue: (well all rodents really)

<3 That's all I can say lol, just...<3

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T.N.D.

· #20 · Mar 27, 2012

rshortman said:
That's a good question. I have also struggled with this as I am not as much of a 'feeler' as most INFPs and I too, have spent my life in Thinker environments which value logic and look down on Feelers. I have consistently tested as a borderline Thinker/Feeler and wondered if I wasn't actually an INTP (or even an INFJ!).

I have found it's better to look at the whole picture and get to know each personality thoroughly and you'll notice you fit almost all the patterns of only one distinctly, even if you have a lot o commonality with other types. An INFP is a very distinct personality type, just as much as an INTJ. Patterns in thought and behavior include a desire to be alone mixed with keen interest in other people, a desite to "right" all the "wrongs" of the world or between family and friends (a peacemaker role), extreme interest in self/introspection, and a distinct desire for authenticity in yourself in others.

Where it gets confusing is just intellectual INFPs are. In fact, the term "dreamer" is a misnomer. The more accurate term should be "The Warm and Cuddly Intellectual" because we are just as analytical and inuitive. We just tend to go about it from a more existential angle as opposed to a scientific angle (although INFPs can be quite scientific about existentialism).

"I have found it's better to look at the whole picture and get to know each personality thoroughly and you'll notice you fit almost all the patterns of only one distinctly, even if you have a lot o commonality with other types. An INFP is a very distinct personality type, just as much as an INTJ. "

Yes, thats my opinion too. People are just combinations of all personalities types, just more one thing than another.

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