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I'm an INTJ who has always had a very strong need for privacy and secrecy. You could describe my compulsive privacy-seeking activities as paranoid, and indeed paranoia is an emotion I feel all the time. And it's not paranoia for reasonable fears, it's paranoia that somebody will find out everything about me.

I discussed this with my INFP friend and she said she's the same way. In fact, we share many of the same paranoid traits-- such as crumpling up a paper before throwing it out, being afraid to go through our own bedroom cupboards (never mind having someone else go through them), feeling fear when anyone with authority calls our names, etc.

INTJs are known for needing privacy and secrecy-- is this common to INFPs as well? In fact, is it common for all of the introverted intuitive types? Which type needs the most privacy?
 
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I agree. I think when anyone comes across aggressively, no matter what the circumstances, I get very defensive.
 

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I'm an INTJ who has always had a very strong need for privacy and secrecy. You could describe my compulsive privacy-seeking activities as paranoid, and indeed paranoia is an emotion I feel all the time. And it's not paranoia for reasonable fears, it's paranoia that somebody will find out everything about me.

I discussed this with my INFP friend and she said she's the same way. In fact, we share many of the same paranoid traits-- such as crumpling up a paper before throwing it out, being afraid to go through our own bedroom cupboards (never mind having someone else go through them), feeling fear when anyone with authority calls our names, etc.

INTJs are known for needing privacy and secrecy-- is this common to INFPs as well? In fact, is it common for all of the introverted intuitive types? Which type needs the most privacy?
I grew up with a military family so I might be a distorted INFP in some aspects x_x Also I don't know if this list is the same thing as you are saying so i'll just write it as a fun fact list about me :D

1. I scan my calls. If I don't know the number I see if they leave me a voicemail, if I do know the number then i'll see if they leave a voicemail :D unless I really want to talk x_x
2. Chat logs saved on the computer? no thank you ._. I use dexrex so that way I don't have to worry about people looking through my computer to fnd something they shouldn't :D
3. I live with my S.O. and his family, unless everyone sits at the table, I refuse to eat in the kitchen. I don't know what it exactly is, but eating a bowl of cereal in my robe doesn't sound appealing x_x
4. Like one of the examples you give, when someone who I don't view on an equal level (IE own parents, teachers, people who I respect as an adult, or superiors) calls me by my full fist name or asks for me to speak to them I get a horrible vibe x_x
5. I don't like the feeling of being watched or noticed. Most of the time I deal with it by putting a barrier and overfocusing on something, but I get horrible anxiety when i'm around people =/ yay for social phobia x_x
6. I don't like to feel like i'm being rushed, when i'm busy doing something and someone keeps reminding me it gets really annoying. I think it's because they burst my "I don't like to be watched or be noticed"

There will be more!
 

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I know that I avoid people nearly at all costs. I have eaten a poptart and a croissant in the last 24 hours because I did not want to run into my roommate and did not know when she was going to be awake or coming in and out of the common living area. I also think some part of me deliberately leaves things untidy because I know then I will not be able to invite others to be in my space.

At work I put on a happy and smiling face, but inside I'm cringing and feel so out of place that I cannot wait to get back to my room and ignore everyone around me.

It is only around the newborns I work with that I feel more normal and my natural self comes out and almost shines. I don't think it has so much to do with the fact that I love the little ones as I know there's no judgement from them. They don't care about anything as long as someone loves them and helps them to be comfortable. It's kinda weird now that I think about it, but at the same time, I'm not bothered by that weirdness at all. :proud:
 

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I know that I avoid people nearly at all costs. I have eaten a poptart and a croissant in the last 24 hours because I did not want to run into my roommate and did not know when she was going to be awake or coming in and out of the common living area. I also think some part of me deliberately leaves things untidy because I know then I will not be able to invite others to be in my space.

At work I put on a happy and smiling face, but inside I'm cringing and feel so out of place that I cannot wait to get back to my room and ignore everyone around me.

It is only around the newborns I work with that I feel more normal and my natural self comes out and almost shines. I don't think it has so much to do with the fact that I love the little ones as I know there's no judgement from them. They don't care about anything as long as someone loves them and helps them to be comfortable. It's kinda weird now that I think about it, but at the same time, I'm not bothered by that weirdness at all. :proud:

I think you'd be more comfortable if you found people around you who aren't very intimidating, and slowy opened up. Sometimes releasing just a little bit of steam will help the boil inside us be calmed.

My roommates are extraverts and I can hardly stand being around them. But I make myself talk sometimes and I feel much better than I do when I don't say anything and cringe to a boiling point.

I agree with what you said about newborns, but I find it more in dogs and cats lol
 

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Let's see, I have a password to get on my laptop, and yet I still clear my history/cookies/cache every time I close firefox, and I never leave it open unattended. It took me awhile to be okay with saving my passwords to websites. And yet, all I visit are MBTI sites, shopping, myspace, and totally innocent stuff like that :laughing:

When I lived alone, I would still conceal things I didn't want anyone to see, in case someone came over and took a peek in my cabinets or something. Actually, this isn't paranoid, because my parents would actually do that when they'd visit :dry:

I don't like to talk about what I am reading when I am reading it. My mom will always ask me what I got from the library, and I get inexplicably annoyed and embarrassed, when it's just another classic novel.

I'm also very careful about who I share things I make with. Strangely enough, it's easier to share artwork and writings with strangers, especially if it's anonymous. When someone I know wants to look at my design portfolio, this wave of panic passes over me....
 
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I value being willfully open, but only on my own terms. I still write all of my poetry in the secret code I made up in the eighth grade, at least until it is ready to share, and if it is too personal, I never write it out legibly. I keep my sex toys in a locked briefcase, then hide the briefcase in the very back of my closet under a pile of clothes. I feel violated when people come into my room without my permission, even if they knock first to warn me. Unless I say "come in" it always feels invasive. I try to be as honest and expressive as possible about most things, so when people pry or become pushy, or start interrogating me about something I don't want to talk about, I usually have a very good reason for my secrecy and will block their attempts until I decide I am ready to share my feelings.
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I value being willfully open, but only on my own terms. I still write all of my poetry in the secret code I made up in the eighth grade, at least until it is ready to share, and if it is too personal, I never write it out legibly. I keep my sex toys in a locked briefcase, then hide the briefcase in the very back of my closet under a pile of clothes. I feel violated when people come into my room without my permission, even if they knock first to warn me. Unless I say "come in" it always feels invasive. I try to be as honest and expressive as possible about most things, so when people pry or become pushy, or start interrogating me about something I don't want to talk about, I usually have a very good reason for my secrecy and will block their attempts until I decide I am ready to share my feelings.
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That's exactly how I feel. I have a hardtime relating to shallow extroverts, which is unfortunately what most of my friends lately have been.

I'm at my best when I'm discussing deep things, and I can easilly single out people I wouldn't want to be friends with because they shy away from these questions.
 

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I think you'd be more comfortable if you found people around you who aren't very intimidating, and slowy opened up. Sometimes releasing just a little bit of steam will help the boil inside us be calmed.

My roommates are extraverts and I can hardly stand being around them. But I make myself talk sometimes and I feel much better than I do when I don't say anything and cringe to a boiling point.

I agree with what you said about newborns, but I find it more in dogs and cats lol
I agree, I am much more comfortable around people who are much less intimidating. Most of my work had been in out-patient and residential psychiatry, so most of my co-workers were people who truly wanted to help people and made an effort to understand them. The last 10 months I have been working in military medical facilities and most of the nurses are very nice people, but we just don't get each other. They are extraverted sensors and don't seem to quite know that there are other ways of looking at the world. They know in theory but not in practice I think.

My saving grace has been the little ones, and my computer where I can visit places like this and participate on my fandom sites through livejournal and such. It does make me miss my cats and my intuitive friends/co-workers from my home, (because you all get me almost as well or better than my friends!) but knowing that I will be able to go back to them soon makes it possible for me to take a few long, deep breaths, put a smile on my face and go through my day. It doesn't mean that I won't be exhausted and need to take a break from people, but I can at least handle it.

snail said:
I still write all of my poetry in the secret code I made up in the eighth grade, at least until it is ready to share, and if it is too personal, I never write it out legibly.
I still do this too. My husband wonders what I'm hiding from him, but meh, he can wonder all he wants. :tongue: You can tell I made up my code during geometry because of the shapes. It's great. :crazy:
 

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Knowing that there are people that may understand is comforting. I've never had that before
 

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Yeah, I'm definitely an anti-social person.

I don't give people my phone # (I only use it for texting and calling my mom, I never answer it from anyone else), I don't go out with people or go to people's houses or apartments or whatever, and now that I'm in college I find myself sitting in a corner by myself during my freetime and avoiding study groups and get-togethers.

Luckily the frat recruiters left me alone.

But yeah -- I've always been like that. I mean, once I warm up to people I'm confident and friendly (though don't go places with them, only see them where I have to). But until then -- I'm a clam.
 

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Yeah, I'm definitely an anti-social person.

I don't give people my phone # (I only use it for texting and calling my mom, I never answer it from anyone else), I don't go out with people or go to people's houses or apartments or whatever, and now that I'm in college I find myself sitting in a corner by myself during my freetime and avoiding study groups and get-togethers.

Luckily the frat recruiters left me alone.

But yeah -- I've always been like that. I mean, once I warm up to people I'm confident and friendly (though don't go places with them, only see them where I have to). But until then -- I'm a clam.

I wholeheartedly agree. I'm pretty content when I'm in a private place doing something I love. But I find I'm even happier when I force myself to be around people and open up. It's hard to do but I've been practicing for a long long time and so far it's worth it
 

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oh definitely. for example, a couple i drew a man, a portrait, and i was very happy with it, astounded i had created something so detailed and poignant with just one brown pencil crayon - but i have shown no-one, in fact, i have hidden it, where others would revel in their own successes i am ashamed of mine :blushed:

it is hard, because i have changed so much mentally, i am a different person even to a year ago (i actually have a different view/outlook i am considering everyday) - but nobody has a clue, i tell no-one anything and they still think i am who i used to be, i am not. i can't tell them, they won't believe me, i am ashamed and guilty of myself, i dislike myself and feel unworthy of any kind of acclaim or respect. i don't deserve to be liked, so i just let people think what they want and hate myself when failing to live up to it. i think all the time, i have come up with countless psychological diagnosis on myself, some bordering on the Freudian, i have made sense and given a reason for the intricacies of my personal character. from the birth process to theories of social/value-based nurturing and sociological symptoms etc but i tell no-one, they won't understand and i won't burden them.

this is all well and good but when they discover things that would reveal your new character they become shocked and hurt even. "i don't even know you" everyone always says to me, and everyone i know has completely different opinions (and interpretations) of me.

i always use the Incognito mode on Google Chrome. problem is my mother has put Parental Controls on my computer, monitoring everything i do, how long i have been on, and it logs me out at set times. she tried to block my forums from me, but i found ways in. so my privacy has taken a large knock....:sad:
 

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oh definitely. for example, a couple i drew a man, a portrait, and i was very happy with it, astounded i had created something so detailed and poignant with just one brown pencil crayon - but i have shown no-one, in fact, i have hidden it, where others would revel in their own successes i am ashamed of mine :blushed:

it is hard, because i have changed so much mentally, i am a different person even to a year ago (i actually have a different view/outlook i am considering everyday) - but nobody has a clue, i tell no-one anything and they still think i am who i used to be, i am not. i can't tell them, they won't believe me, i am ashamed and guilty of myself, i dislike myself and feel unworthy of any kind of acclaim or respect. i don't deserve to be liked, so i just let people think what they want and hate myself when failing to live up to it. i think all the time, i have come up with countless psychological diagnosis on myself, some bordering on the Freudian, i have made sense and given a reason for the intricacies of my personal character. from the birth process to theories of social/value-based nurturing and sociological symptoms etc but i tell no-one, they won't understand and i won't burden them.

this is all well and good but when they discover things that would reveal your new character they become shocked and hurt even. "i don't even know you" everyone always says to me, and everyone i know has completely different opinions (and interpretations) of me.

i always use the Incognito mode on Google Chrome. problem is my mother has put Parental Controls on my computer, monitoring everything i do, how long i have been on, and it logs me out at set times. she tried to block my forums from me, but i found ways in. so my privacy has taken a large knock....:sad:
man that hits home too hard. I've never had anyone tell me they don't know me.. but that's the exact response I think of when I try to imagine articulating my inner growth to someone. most people are simply too shallow to understand, you know?

It's to the point where it's not even that my failures outshadow my successes. My successes themselvs have become failures in the light I see them in
 

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Let's see, I have a password to get on my laptop, and yet I still clear my history/cookies/cache every time I close firefox, and I never leave it open unattended. It took me awhile to be okay with saving my passwords to websites. And yet, all I visit are MBTI sites, shopping, myspace, and totally innocent stuff like that :laughing:

When I lived alone, I would still conceal things I didn't want anyone to see, in case someone came over and took a peek in my cabinets or something. Actually, this isn't paranoid, because my parents would actually do that when they'd visit :dry:

I don't like to talk about what I am reading when I am reading it. My mom will always ask me what I got from the library, and I get inexplicably annoyed and embarrassed, when it's just another classic novel.

I'm also very careful about who I share things I make with. Strangely enough, it's easier to share artwork and writings with strangers, especially if it's anonymous. When someone I know wants to look at my design portfolio, this wave of panic passes over me....
Wow! I can totally relate to this entire post, especially the last part. I took art for 2 years in high school, and was even the art club president, but I chose science over arts, because I hated, HATED having my work critiqued. I never made below an A in an art class...
 

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man that hits home too hard. I've never had anyone tell me they don't know me.. but that's the exact response I think of when I try to imagine articulating my inner growth to someone. most people are simply too shallow to understand, you know?

It's to the point where it's not even that my failures outshadow my successes. My successes themselvs have become failures in the light I see them in
exactly :confused:
 

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I don't really think of privacy on a physical level. As far as passwords, locks, and hiding things away. Probably because I grew up as the only child in the house (I have like 11+ year gaps with my siblings). I was also in a single parent home and my mother wasn't one for prodding too much.

On a social level, it's a whole different story. I remember when I was younger I swore off people for while. Being forced into any sort of social interaction felt like rape. I could like see parts of myself seeping out and was terrified of that. In high school, I remember spending lunch hiding in bathroom stalls or locker rooms even though I was welcome to sit with tons of people.

Today, I'm actually a lot more open. There are people who know absolutely everything and it doesn't bother me much. However, it's still there. I live in a dorm and I've almost always had a single room. While I go out and stuff all the time I have times where I hide in my room for a couple days at a time with my phone off. I'll only emerge for smoke breaks and even then I'm using unusual exit strategies. Then hiding behind trees or sitting on the outside stairs that lead underground to the basement so I don't have to even say a casual hello. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. :crazy:

I actually find myself a bit attracted to extroverts rather than intimidated by them. It's always nice to have a couple around...just to get that little push.
 

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Totally the same for me. Always had to retreat to my batcave on a regular basis and prolonged exposure to big groups does 4hp/second damage to my soul.
 

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For seriously. Most everything in this topic applies to me.

I cringe when someone comes into my room. I don't let anyone explore my computer folders or my web history. I can't stand the thought of anyone reading my writing or seeing something I've done. I'll talk relatively freely about painful life events (it just happened to me, it's not of my own construction so somehow it's not as deep into the private), but I'm so afraid to share part of myself.

Somehow it's easier to reveal these things to complete strangers. I guess that the fact they have no preconceived biases, probably won't see me again, or if I have anonymity all comforts me.

I don't know. I'm just afraid to show who I am to people and I don't see a reason to change that.
 

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I absolutely need my privacy, & I cannot fucking stand for my room to be infiltrated. Currently am living at home in a room with no door. I use a sheer curtain & sometimes it's not enough. Doesn't help that I have a creepy nosy uncle who either doesn't acknowledge my presence and opens it or peeks in. Fuck! I'm angry. When I do have a door I lock it & it makes others suspicious but I just like to be able to cut myself off from everyone when I need to. I never thought of it as paranoia.
 
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