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Discussion Starter #1
First of all, if i post this in the wrong place in this forum, plz let me know. i'm a newbieee

Well, honestly i'm feeling very akward writing this first post ever on pc. I need some advice from you guys :)

I am currently in a relationship, we've been together for almost a year now next month. This is the first ever serious relationship i've got in 30 years of my life. And to be honest, it freaks me out. My emotions have been going crazy since im dating him. I cried so many times in front of him sometimes for no reason at all but my chest hurts cause everything just seems to be pressuring down on me. Ive never been in a real relationship before because of so many reasons.. Usually it's because the guys i like never liked me back. I had my fair share of dating casually but none of them worked. But it seems like i have a 'lesson learned' moment after it's over. If the previous guy was an ass then next the next one shouldnt be an ass, if the prev guy is short and things dont work out, next time find a tall guy and so on and so on.. And now i feel like i dont know how to relax anymore. Even though i seem calm from the outside i cant hide my feelings and i got real quiet. My bf is an intj and he's very sensitive to me.. Good sometimes but it bugs me that he cant leave me alone sometimes. As an infp my head is filled with so many useless ideas (sometimes dreamy tho) i kills me that he's so perfect sometimes that i feel like hes too good for me. No one has ever made me so loved before him. His love feels real, so real that it scares me a LOT. I gotta be honest since im dating him, i dont get what love is.. I used to imagine i would like this one guy for the rest of my life and he would be it. But everytime that happens, i ended up being heart broken again..i feel tired of being in a relationship, because all i think about is him, what will happen, what has happened, what if we dont end up together, what if theres someone else better suited for me out there, and it keeps going and going til i cant handle it anymore and feel like im about to explode. Im unemployed right now so thats not helping at all but before him i was casually being with another guy and my job was 8-8 office work and i was miserable all the time, so i always feel like if i work now, things will get ugly cause my emotions are so unpredictable i might yell at him for no reasons (other than needing someone to blame) and the worst problem prolly would be because i keep wondering if theres someone out there better suited/ close to my ideal type i would cheat on my bf.. And i cant live with myself if that happens.. I do need some advice from infps out there who's happily in long relationship or marriage. I do wanna know how you guys keeping it together without going insane like me
 

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Hello Monikika!

Welcome to this forum ;)

You are right, this is just the Introduction Area. You can choose between Relationship-Advice-Threads, for example in the different Sections (INFP, INFJ, ISTP, etc), or in the Advice Section :)

But, probably some will answer here too. If you have any questions to this forum feel free to ask!
 

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welcome to the forum fellow infp.
so about this new relationship, don't self sabotage. he sounds like a catch, so enjoy the time u spend together and don't overthink it. and if you need some alone time, let him know, he will understand.

:kitteh:
 

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Welcome @Monikika hope you can get all kinds of different advice here. People are generally fairly friendly and willing to give lots of advice. They also have a tendency to analyze your cognitive functions, so that can feel kind of odd in the beginning until you get used to it.

Thanks for sharing about your current relationship. Being in love is a lot of work. It takes some getting used to and eventually after you get married and things get settled down, the fear and uncertainty subside and things are fairly routine. Then you will become nostalgic for the old days when everything was uncertain. It seems like people want the stability in the beginning, and then after they have too much of that, they want to go back to the old days. I would say you should try to journal and remember all of the these precious moments in your life.


Hope you like it here.
 

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Electronica Wizard
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If you have something in your mind that fills you with doubt, do not hesitate to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. If work is stressing you out and you are afraid you might not be in a good mood or would lash out at him, tell him that. Personally, I like to give people a fair warning about me as a person so they would know what they are getting themselves into. Once that has been settled between you and him, enjoy the time you spend together.
 

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Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
well. he just decided to break up with me, because he told me that he cant stand being pushed around. He sorta asked me to marry him a month into our first date and he also planning to go abroad for school.. and now as the time gets closer, he didnt want to compromise with his study because he got a scholarship. Tbh I felt hurt, i am childish i have to admit that, need a lot a lot of growing up, but he never seemed to communicate well with me, and thats how im getting more and more scared to have an ldr relationship with him. he's years younger than me, but he just seems to think that ldr is easy.. he just believes that videocalling will be enough for 2 years. I just dont get him sometimes, imagining him gone for 2 years and i cant hold his hand or hug him kills me so much that i cry everytime i think about it and yet he seems to indifferent to me.. I was in an ldr before so i know exactly how it felt so im not sure if i can continue with him going. every time i got mad or angry over little things like he's late, or he just takes so much time doing something, he just asks me what do you want and he always said that he appreciates honesty. and now after almost a year of dating i just tells him this and that every time he ask what to do. he always encourage me to yell at me, be mad at me dont hold back ur emotions..and now i felt like after doing those things.. he said he's tired of me because i kept pushing him around and he said he's afraid that it will be like this 50 years from now because he and i are so different..

I can be pushy yes i admit that and im trying to change, but i still dont feel like it's my fault that when he knows something he didnt communicate with me, and make his own decision. and after he broke up with me he still asked whether im home yet or not and it got me confused, what does he want? and finally i called him and asked him one more time if he wants us to be over then so be it, i told him im gonna be okay and he just said that okay i will give us a chance but now he is sooooo cold. idk what to do or how to feel..im an emotional wreck now, as an infp we cant not care even though it's too much for people. so now i'm reconnecting to people because i sorta cut off every communications with my males friends (most my friends are males) to protect his feelings but now im lost and i feel like i cant tell him anymore about anything because he might just cut me off all together..

he's a great listener but i need someone to talk back to me..and now im afraid of asking even the simplest questions to him,

i really dunno what to do guys.. and i do hope if he ever reads this, he will forgive me for writing this thread for the world to see :sad:
 

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Electronica Wizard
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Sometimes all you need is to be open about what it is that concerns you the most and why. Right now you are in an Fi-Si loop. In order to unravel that loop Have you communicated to him of that problem?
 
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