Infp> not able to express self through spoken communication
[INFP]
1 - 20 of 36 Posts
Joined
·
615 Posts
Same here! No matter what, I cannot say what I want to say. Even if it's with a close friend who will probably accept me for who I am. I always have to act to satisfy one of their needs, or I'm nervous. Or I don't want the relationship between us to change.
It's so much easier in writing, when it's not directed towards anyone.
It's so much easier in writing, when it's not directed towards anyone.
You are not alone, my friend. I have a problem with this too. It makes me feel stupid, not because I have nothing to say, but because I just can't say a thing. People talk, I keep my mouth shut, occasionally smile or say something. This is especially frustrating when I know the person wants to talk and,like u said...my mind goes blank. Sometimes I can't even understand what they are saying. It's like... there is a fear or something that I might say something wrong so I just keep quiet. When it comes to talking online...I turn into a very talkative and eloquent person...my mind finally wakes up and people realize I do have something smart to say. I think it's about self-esteem and the way to change this is to work on accepting who we are and show it. :happy:
Wow!!! I wonder how you define Stupid. I never feel stupid but I always feel misrepresented.
Joined
·
79 Posts
I am really bad at expressing myself through verbal communication. I feel much more comfotable using written communication because then I can gather and organize my thoughts and edit if need be. I have a lot of trouble communicating my needs and my limits. I don't have much of a problem communicating with my boyfriend and our daughter, but when it comes to other family members, friends, acquaintances, I have alot of trouble. So like someone else said, I always feel misunderstood, like I didn't get my point across properly. Plus, since INFPs use a more informative style of communcation, I am not good with being firm.
Joined
·
716 Posts
I'm usually very talkative when I'm with one other person, unless he/she is an introvert whom I'm not that close with; then it just gets awkward. But generally, where the amount of people I'm with increases linearly, my talkativeness drops exponentially..
But even when I'm with my best friend (who's an ENFP) I usually can't express myself properly. In order to express myself properly, I'd have to describe the big picture, using words, combined with somehow sending every single emotion I have about the subject to the other person. And that is pretty much impossible, though my friend is a very empathetic and is the person I know who understands me best...though not nearly enough..
I express myself best through writing, but even through writing I have difficulties; words are simply not enough for me to express myself.
But even when I'm with my best friend (who's an ENFP) I usually can't express myself properly. In order to express myself properly, I'd have to describe the big picture, using words, combined with somehow sending every single emotion I have about the subject to the other person. And that is pretty much impossible, though my friend is a very empathetic and is the person I know who understands me best...though not nearly enough..
I express myself best through writing, but even through writing I have difficulties; words are simply not enough for me to express myself.
Joined
·
4,835 Posts
i don't think that words exist to express the depth of emotion i feel sometimes
Joined
·
526 Posts
that you in your avatar? If so, I too rock the bandana...in fact, at this one party with a group of close friends I busted it out when i was drunk and, ever since, they too have adopted the style.
Back on topic though, I was just at a small get together with close friends and i just couldn't bring myself to say much at all. It's like my mind isn't working as fast as theirs is when it comes to socializing...it definitely sucks sometimes. BUUUUt when i do manage to have something to say its usually pretty damn funny/creative.
Also I'd like to add that anytime I'm dealing with a cashier it tends to be quiet and pretty awkward most times because I honestly have nothing in my mind.
I think I can socialize pretty well in social situations it just takes a few more seconds for me to simplify my thoughts into words. If my mind happens to go blank in the middle of a social setting I'll usually make up a joke or something to explain why I'm zoned out.
Joined
·
526 Posts
yeeeep
a big house party is a prime example of a place where freeze up moments are a 99% chance of happening...I'll be in the middle of the party all quiet and trying to figure out how to blend in. The next minute I'll head over to the bathroom cuz I gotta take a piss. While in the bathroom I'm thinking to myself "man, I don't wanna go back out there wtf what's wrong with me?"
Joined
·
4,835 Posts
i hate when this happens in time when you almost should say soemtihng you can't, and i jsut end up saying some generic phrase and wishing i said something more
Joined
·
23 Posts
This is my life. I can never find the right thing to say in social situations.Most of the time I just listen to everyone else unless I actually have something to say that's relevant to the conversation. People always ask why I'm so quiet and it's honestly just because I can't think of anything to say, it's so frustrating.
I've always felt like there was a block between my brain and my mouth where words would get lost. I always seem to have a good idea of what I want to say, but I'll lock up when I actually try to say anything. I find myself unable to formulate actual words to say what I want to say. If I manage to say anything, it usually isn't what I mean, or incomplete, or just lacking to describe what I meant to.
I never thought of myself as a visual thinker, but I definately don't think in words either. I find when I'm searching to explain myself my thoughts spiderweb out and I cannot streamline only relevant information, because my thoughts are the whole and not any one strand. I've had too many conversations where I realized we are completely separate pages because the other person just can't see the extra connecting strands that complete my point, and that what I'm saying has very little relevance to what I was intending to say.
I try to get by with a script of safe phrases to say, but it isn't complete and if the other person doesn't follow their part I go blank trying to improv lines.
Sometimes it can feel as if my throat is physically tightening and I just cannot say anything.
I never thought of myself as a visual thinker, but I definately don't think in words either. I find when I'm searching to explain myself my thoughts spiderweb out and I cannot streamline only relevant information, because my thoughts are the whole and not any one strand. I've had too many conversations where I realized we are completely separate pages because the other person just can't see the extra connecting strands that complete my point, and that what I'm saying has very little relevance to what I was intending to say.
I try to get by with a script of safe phrases to say, but it isn't complete and if the other person doesn't follow their part I go blank trying to improv lines.
Sometimes it can feel as if my throat is physically tightening and I just cannot say anything.
I try to go out a couple times a week, and in this town, it's impossible to do so without at least one drunk guy trying to be your best friend. So I've become good enough at one on one small talk to make due (even if it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.) It does seem though that when a social situation becomes more than two (maybe three) people, I have nothing left to say.
Joined
·
1,235 Posts
I freeze up all the time... I just never know what to say in groups especially when they talk about the previous parties where they were all at and I wasn't.. what am I supposed to say to that?
Also I suck at expressing myself entirely not just in groups or alone with someone but also online when writing here or to people XD. I often feel like I can't find the right words to express my thoughts. People often ask me how I'm feeling but ugh I just never know what to say.
Also I suck at expressing myself entirely not just in groups or alone with someone but also online when writing here or to people XD. I often feel like I can't find the right words to express my thoughts. People often ask me how I'm feeling but ugh I just never know what to say.
Joined
·
45 Posts
Huh, and I thought all of my "social awkwardness" was because I stutter. 
But yes, I also have the same problem. It's like I have all these complex thoughts whirling around my head, but can't formulate them into words that are readily understandable. And then people back in high school would ask me why I was so quiet . . . at least now I don't feel alone, haha.
But yes, I also have the same problem. It's like I have all these complex thoughts whirling around my head, but can't formulate them into words that are readily understandable. And then people back in high school would ask me why I was so quiet . . . at least now I don't feel alone, haha.
I am the same, I prefer to play the silent and mysterious type. My boyfriend is introvert and he rarely speaks in public but when he does you know it is something worth listening to. I try to be the same but I'm too goofy!
I clam up socially though, I just can't think of what to say and worry I am boring. Once I know a person really well though I open up and let them see the real me and then I think I can be pretty funny and interesting.
I clam up socially though, I just can't think of what to say and worry I am boring. Once I know a person really well though I open up and let them see the real me and then I think I can be pretty funny and interesting.
1 - 20 of 36 Posts
Join the discussion
Join now to ask and comment!