INFP or ISFP? Hello ISFP's!

Well, I didn't think I'd ever come back to questioning MBTI; but I am here again.
I wanted to experience ISFP from the eyes of an ISFP. Ya know?
So as you may known I MIGHT be a fellow INFP; However I'm not quite sure.
I usually would say I was an INFP 4-5-1 (4w5); but now I don't believe I can.
I've been searching up different descriptions of an ISFP and it doesn't quite match up to what I stand for
or anything. I mean, I go with the flow of the universe. I let the universe guide me. I'm pretty spiritual and I believe what you dish out, you get back. I'm a stereotypical idealist. I'm not a big fan of the ''romance'' scene. I'm not very traditional, I don't like what it is and I hate anything to traditional. I want to be alone and go on adventures by myself. I believe I have a calling in this universe and it is to help others with their grief. I am a born-philosopher and I'm always spontaneously creating different screenwriting or poetry. I believe in the sane ''If it feels right, then do it'' I kind of do what I want, not in a rebellious way; but kind of an leadership kind of thing. Although, I do not wish to control or rule my friends I do want them to become my ideals. Its a terrible trait to have I know. I'm very observant; Yet I am not the best listener because I see so many definitions of their speech that its hard to actually grasp what they are saying to me. I don't have many friends because I believe I cannot find anyone like me, at least around this area. I don't really let other people dictate my choices once I'm in my impulsive . I strive for better understanding of myself. I usually would say the world around me; but I'd much rather understand myself because I don't care to analyze an environment I already know is poor. I can be very stubborn, when I want to and very mean when I want to. I am not a mean person; however. I am not talkative and I don't like to talk. I can't properly articulate what I'm trying to say in reality because it doesn't come out right. I write how I talk and I have very messy handwriting. I'm pretty hardworking once I've come across something I love; but If it is something I hate I'll avoid it at all cost.
I'm not a people person at all. I cannot stand to leave my home/sanctuary. I have dreams of expanding my music collection and living in a town house or a cabin in the wood. I don't want to be married and I don't want to really experience love. I believe it holds you back from your goals and all of it should be experienced after you've achieved all you could. I love children, which is quite hilarious because I don't wanna be in a relationship. I know that doesn't mean anything because I could slip up any day and have bun in the oven. I am in love with men whom think they are awesome. I like a man who plays coy but deep inside he's getting ready to blow you away. He has to be this bohemian something. he has to be unique and filled with knowledge. That's what I want. I don't like money, in fact I hate it. I plan to become a minimalist with a basic home life. I don't want all of this jewelery. I'd much rather save my money until I find something I want/need. Most don't expect me to be this articulate at my age, I guess I'm mature for my age. I've always know what I wanted and who I wanted to be. I didn't have that same struggle with other children where they were still trying to figure themselves out. When I make a goal, my goal there is no stopping me. I WILL do it. I don't really listen to what my family says because I've never related to any one of them. I'm the odd one out; but that's usually every type 4. I don't strive to be unique because I already am, people point this out to me all the time. I want to blind in with the other children but I cannot. They are so inexperienced. ALL the people whom I thought were interesting were adults. I hate this because I can't make friends my age; but I don't know anyone else who'd understand me. I hate a very strong personality. It tends to rub off on others in a bad way. This isn't an amazing trait to have but when I feel like anyone is judging me or trying to impose their values or themselves upon me I wick them away. I am a introverted firecracker. Any adult that ever treated me as though I was a child or beneath them now knows how to act when they are around me. Its not something I choose to do, I am that way. The adult now knows that I won't be treated like a child and If they dare call me that, I will chop them into bits, figuratively of course.

I don't strive to be an adult because I already feel like I am. Its weird to talk about because people want to say because I am a teenager ''its just a phase'' I feel as though I have to leave a disclaimer telling someone to halt before messing with me. I hate doing that, they always have to learn the hard way.
I don't watch a lot of television and I don't keep up with a lot of mainstream media. I really have just created this realm that gets in the way of REALITY living. I can't really explain it; but I think the best way to explain is an idiosyncratic person. I'm pretty eccentric and quite tomboyish. I wear tight fitting jeans but baggy tops and outer wear. I'm usually caught wearing a lot of black and or dim clothing, kind of a modern Kurt Cobain look. If I were to ever compare my personality with anyone I would say Kurt Cobain. He is the male-version of me. I just started studying him and I once was watching an interview where I finished all his sentences for him. I know the whole '' its an idol, she'll say they are so alike'' but I just started getting into him and I just see ME in HIM.

Kurt Cobain is an INFP 4w5 EII
I am an INFP (possibly ISFP or balanced Sensing & iNtuitive) 4w5 EII.

We basically share the same traits. I write music about my suicidal thoughts and my pain and anger. I have the same issues with stomach aches and my childhood is basically similar to his. I kept journals & journals and I find this so fascinating. I don't know I wish he were alive. Kurt didn't have many friends just like me and he loved his wife fiercely just like how I would a partner. I just wish I could really talk to him ; but he's gone. -.-

Anyways, I'm done typing. Bye.