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We're not typically described as perfectionistic, but I think we're very perfectionistic, in a particular way. We don't want to release things out in the world or take action until we feel like it's perfect, which is where our indecisiveness comes from. It's not always a good thing, because in order to understand and learn things we need to make mistakes sometimes, but we hate the idea of failing. But ultimately failing is when you never act at all. That's something that us as INFP's need to grow in, but our form of perfectionism is also what makes what we create so important to us, because we've spent so much time on it. Thoughts?
 

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I think INFP expressions are deeply personal and reflect emotions, usually tied with our identity of self. So to share our work is a reflection of ourselves, so if we fail, perhaps we identify with the failure within ourselves? Add in tons of rumination and thought loops and it can create future anxiety issues.

I've had a friend comment on my story that I only shared with her. About slaughtering half of my characters. I'm not affected now like how I may have been if I was a few years younger. Reactions like that COULD be quite discouraging if INFP cannot detach from their creations.

Not speaking for INFPs but for myself, I am not so much a perfectionist as in, I don't like submitting something that feels incomplete. I have works that are complete and still flawed, but I am satisfied with them.
 

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We're not typically described as perfectionistic, but I think we're very perfectionistic, in a particular way. We don't want to release things out in the world or take action until we feel like it's perfect, which is where our indecisiveness comes from. It's not always a good thing, because in order to understand and learn things we need to make mistakes sometimes, but we hate the idea of failing. But ultimately failing is when you never act at all. That's something that us as INFP's need to grow in, but our form of perfectionism is also what makes what we create so important to us, because we've spent so much time on it. Thoughts?
"We don't want to release things out in the world or take action until we feel like it's perfect"

Nailed it.
 

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I think INFP expressions are deeply personal and reflect emotions, usually tied with our identity of self. So to share our work is a reflection of ourselves, so if we fail, perhaps we identify with the failure within ourselves? Add in tons of rumination and thought loops and it can create future anxiety issues.

I've had a friend comment on my story that I only shared with her. About slaughtering half of my characters. I'm not affected now like how I may have been if I was a few years younger. Reactions like that COULD be quite discouraging if INFP cannot detach from their creations.

Not speaking for INFPs but for myself, I am not so much a perfectionist as in, I don't like submitting something that feels incomplete. I have works that are complete and still flawed, but I am satisfied with them.
I actually have a lot of anxiety issues about writing because of this, but mainly for creative writing. I like to call it "crippling perfectionism," I would rather write nothing or turn in nothing than show off something I hate and am not proud of. This is probably why I experience so much stasis before drafting... I have to keep telling myself "it's supposed to be rough, its not finished, you can go back later."
 

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I think you are right in that type of perfectionism we have, but we can remind ourselves of ESTJ perfectionists who actually get things done. By reminding ourselves that feedback is necessary for improvement we can actually look forward to feedback and be less sensitive because we want to improve.

Unfortunately a lot of our jobs are perfectionist so I would recommend Anders Ericsson's books on practice that show how it's actually done, and there is no solace that work will be 100% fun. There will always be this meticulous tweaking of sub-skills that we need to do in order to improve.
 

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I find that perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand for me. I would procrastinate on things I wanted to do or tasks that I had to complete because I was afraid of them being less than perfect as I got to work on them, so rather than face imperfections...I avoided even starting.

In recent years I've stopped identifying with being a perfectionist, and not letting it be apart of my 'grab bag' for personality traits. I realize that I still hold myself to high standards, and most days those are great for others around me, even if they aren't necessarily what I would deem 'perfect'. It's not being content with being 'less than', but rather being able to find satisfaction in knowing that I HAVE done an amazing job, and that it really doesn't matter. In basic terms, an A is an A is an A.
 

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I agree with your description, @OliveBranch. Whatever I do, I put enormous pressure on myself to "do it right, or not at all." It's like a moral duty or something. But isn't there a phrase that starts with, "If you wait for perfect conditions..."

I don't generally consider myself a perfectionist though. I consider what I outwardly do to be good enough—except my good enough is a very high standard. I try to avoid looking back and having regrets. I at least prepared and executed as well as I could have possibly done.

But good enough isn't always good enough. Pet ownership is really hard for me right now because my betta fish is sick, and he might hate his life.
 

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I dont write seriously because I dont want to write something less than perfect. I do sometimes write short stories in a flow, stream of consciousness style though.
I have a huge amount of respect for writers. Maybe that gets in my way. Putting authors on pedastals can make writing intimidating for me.
I dont even know where to start because if I try writing my valuable story idea and it isnt perfect, I wont be able to move on. It needs to be just how I imagine it. I want people to see what I see.
I guess it feels like too big a task, so I dream about it but I never end up doing it.
 

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We're not typically described as perfectionistic, but I think we're very perfectionistic, in a particular way. We don't want to release things out in the world or take action until we feel like it's perfect, which is where our indecisiveness comes from. It's not always a good thing, because in order to understand and learn things we need to make mistakes sometimes, but we hate the idea of failing. But ultimately failing is when you never act at all. That's something that us as INFP's need to grow in, but our form of perfectionism is also what makes what we create so important to us, because we've spent so much time on it. Thoughts?
When I was a teenager I would write music. Then I gave some songs to my guitar teacher ( mr zero empathy ) and he said 'yeah, you should fix this, this and that....' with non-chalance.... I hated him and never let anyone listen to my music again.
Wish I could help you.
 

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Do you know how hard it is to live with someone who tests as a 9w1 INFP, for 25 years?

Not saying I am one, just saying "some" of the signs are there.

(...As I glance over at husband, curled up in a ball in the corner, weeping uncontrollably)

It is damn hard, to do. You try it and see if you can survive.

(For those worried about my husband, he wasn't really crying. Just sort of whimpering in rhythmic, low tones.)
 

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Thoughts?
I spit on perfectionism. If something is perfect or too straight and orderly, I have this stubborn urge to mess it all up. From personal projects to everyday motives, if you've set up your pencils nicely in paralleled, vertical lines, I will exhale strong enough to blow them out of order.

The idea of it being perfect or not doesn't prevent me from releasing things into the world, as you say. For me, it's a fear of releasing too much. There is a strong desire to put my whole heart and soul into my works, but there is a strong need to not do that at the same time, and I think that's why much of the time I work in metaphors and descriptions, rather than actuality and saying things for how they truly are, because that abstraction delivers what I want to say, but not everybody is going to understand it -- or if they do, they interpret it to their own understanding.

There is a great deal of miscommunication in my speaking with others, as if the key in what you need to understand is not necessarily in what I'm saying, but in what I'm not saying, which may sound very confusing. I understood this through reading stream-of-consciousness, such as the works of James Joyce or Virginia Woolf, and even through Oscar Wilde, which will provide a better understanding of what I'm talking about.

If anything, it's more Precision that I want, and not Perfection. Precision seeks to be exact, or precise, but not necessarily to be perfect; and the mere thought that something cannot be changed, or enhanced, or altered for the better in any form, intimidates me. Even when I write in my journal, there is a reluctance of revealing too much, which I find very weird, because I'm the only person who is ever going to read it, but there is a precision in what I'm saying, like a code in my self-expression that only I can decipher. It's either that, or I hate things coming to an end, and will manipulate what I want so it doesn't sound so ... final.
 
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I spit on perfectionism. If something is perfect or too straight and orderly, I have this stubborn urge to mess it all up. From personal projects to everyday motives, if you've set up your pencils nicely in paralleled, vertical lines, I will exhale strong enough to blow them out of order.
That is a very good way of getting your skull cracked
Best to not do something like that lol, messing with people's stuff is neither smart or a good idea
 

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That's something that us as INFP's need to grow in, but our form of perfectionism is also what makes what we create so important to us, because we've spent so much time on it. Thoughts?
Well, I procrastinated for years because I was scared of releasing 'so-so' art. That only created more tension, more expectations from myself.

You know what really helped overcoming perfectionism ? Motivation. Being motivated.

Example (I'm a musician) : I work by myself, without any deadline, targets, objectives, zero-----> I keep switching from a song to the next in an endless spiral of self-doubt.

I work with other musicians (being in a band)----> We rehearse every saturday---> I HAVE to finish songs, perfect or not, because if not, I won't have anything to show my peers.

Does this make any sense to you ?

Perfectionism is a trap, it keeps you stagnating and you don't grow.

Besides the music analogy, there is another way of overcoming Perfectionism, and that would be DOING, DOING, DOING ! Just finish things ! But make sure to have a purpose, a meaning attached to everything you do, otherwise it won't make any sense to the INFP.
 

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I think INFP expressions are deeply personal and reflect emotions, usually tied with our identity of self. So to share our work is a reflection of ourselves, so if we fail, perhaps we identify with the failure within ourselves? Add in tons of rumination and thought loops and it can create future anxiety issues.
This was so spot-on it was painful to read !
 

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I think what I felt for years was pretty much the same thing; I put so much of myself into my work that I was afraid of it getting 'corrupted' or becoming 'worthless' because other people didn't like it or didn't see what I did in it. I find that's even true for the things that I deeply love, not just what I've made. Now I'm trying to overcome that, though. As frightening as it is, the whole point of art is to share it with other people and receive feedback, both critical and emotional in nature. It's all about finding the right balance, I guess.
 

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I find that perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand for me. I would procrastinate on things I wanted to do or tasks that I had to complete because I was afraid of them being less than perfect as I got to work on them, so rather than face imperfections...I avoided even starting.
This is basically the story of my life, although recently I have used "your an adult now and need to get it together before it's too late" as a motivator to actually do things. Mixed results but, you know, growth is a process.
 

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This is basically the story of my life, although recently I have used "your an adult now and need to get it together before it's too late" as a motivator to actually do things. Mixed results but, you know, growth is a process.
Ooh same here! I have a little trick I learned somewhere, if it's a 1-2-3 task, I just need to jump up after three seconds and get it done (it's something that can be done now, and over with in half an hour). It sounds silly and childish but...procrastination is a huge pain so...anything goes.
 

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Ooh same here! I have a little trick I learned somewhere, if it's a 1-2-3 task, I just need to jump up after three seconds and get it done (it's something that can be done now, and over with in half an hour). It sounds silly and childish but...procrastination is a huge pain so...anything goes.
Makes sense--so kinda like a countdown to say "okay I am doing it now." It's often much more easier to finish things when there's some sort of deadline--if it's open-ended I can push it back infinitely.
 

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I don't sing, dance or play my guitar in front of anyone. Too flawed & too personal.
 
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