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Discussion Starter #1
Hello everyone! I'm kind of new to posting on forums and stuff like that so bare with me. I've kind of had a lot on my mind as of late that I just need help making sense of. Rarely do I ever offer much in the way of self-expression a lot of the time since I've always been extremely introverted and I don't find myself relating all that much to others anyway. What it all comes down to is that I've some self-esteem issues for a number of years now, yet I see no reason to remedy that by socializing because most people don't seem to care anyway, at least as much as I sometimes do for others. This extends into my love life, or lack thereof, given my own lack of self-confidence. I like to think I'm good at socializing in every other way but vocally, however I tend to come across to the opposite sex as being "creepy" I guess, even though I'm nothing of the sort. This all leads to me feeling as though I'm kind of worth nothing, then comes a bit of depression. I guess I need to find an excuse or two to love myself before I extend that love onto others. I don't know, that's as best as I can rationalize how I'm feeling right now. Sorry for the long post! I'm sure everyone's heard this all before. Any help or advice would be very much appreciated. :)
 

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Hi, welcome to PerCaf! :) I'm sure you'll quite like it here.

Creepy? XD I'd suggest not trying to flirt with a girl you really like if you haven't mastered the skill yet and not to make dirty jokes too early in conversation unless mutual attraction has been made explicit. If the aforementioned points don't apply to you then could you elaborate on how you end up coming across as "creepy" or what makes you think other people view you in that way?

Self confidence boosters can be anything you're talented at. Things like sports (skateboarding? football? running?), music and acting are great confidence boosters because for some reason they are glamourised by society.
If that stuff isn't your forte then do something, anything that makes you feel like you've achieved something (and I don't mean playing RPGs). For example, winning competitions and races always makes me feel great about myself. Maybe you could do the same.
Perhaps you could do something to enhance your appearance; I've found that feeling good about how I look is great for confidence.

I'm not sure if any of that helped, but I mean if you have more questions or anything do ask.

(BTW I do suggest that to make your posts more readable you break up your paragraph a bit rather than posting a large chunk of text? Just a pointer.)
 

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The moment i read 'creep' i had to listen to..


But you're not alone buddy! Some of us are just a bit strange, although i would describe myself more as a weirdo than a creep. Perhaps try to take an interest in what girls like? Have something to talk about. And like Iemanja said, master a skill. As an INFP i'm sure you have SOME form of passion, it's inevitable. Throw yourself in what you love and make something of yourself! Something I've heard a lot is that girls like ambitious guys, ''Follow your dreams and the girls will follow you'', or something. I hope that's true, because if it's not I'm screwed. :laughing: Oh, and don't take life too seriously a girl once told me. Best advice I've ever gotten.
@iemanja
Perhaps you could do something to enhance your appearance; I've found that feeling good about how I look is great for confidence.
Easy for you to say, your face looks like it's carved by angels lol :tongue:
 

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What? But one third of it is covered by a fluffy sheep..
You'd be surprised how much you can read off such pictures. Plus, i checked your profile picture.:ninja:

*Edit: WOW, i'm so dreamy and in my own head today i can't even properly read a sentence lol. Stupid infp brain

Side note: @Adam Thomas I suggest you acquire flirting tips from TheOffspring
Yeah totally, that's a good idea.
 

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I would never lay self-esteem or anything of the sort to a personality assessment like the MBTI.

On topic however.
Do you know why they consider you creepy?
Also, you probably shouldn't act like @TheOffspring XD It's not a good idea to copy other people. :p

I found personally and interestingly enough that just getting some nice cloth that I liked really boosted my own self-esteem, that may be something to consider.
Tho my self-esteem was probably as low as yours currently is about a month ago, but getting kicked off my internship for no real reason and having my entire life turned upside-down plus the cloth I then bought completely changed my self-esteem. Tho I don't recommend the getting kicked off your internship and having your life turned upside-down. :tongue:

I'd like to add that I hate the "love thy self before you try to love others" mentality that people have. I've had people shove it in my mouth throughout the time I was depressed which only made it more severe.

What you should know tho is that nothing is a problem unless you make it a problem (disclaimer: Does not include: Arrogance, homicidal behavior... etc.).
Ever wondered why some really weird looking people don't have problems with self-esteem? Well, they don't believe that they look weird. :wink:

Keep in mind that low self-esteem means you may be seen as unappreciative of compliments etc. because you don't see them as compliments and that's a turn-off for everyone except bullies because only bullies enjoy people who take everything as an insult (sad but true). Like if you told a girl you liked that she's attractive and she responds that you are a dick. (Kinda makes you uninterested to pursue it doesn't it? ;) )

Guess I should also post a video. :p
 

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What you should know tho is that nothing is a problem unless you make it a problem (disclaimer: Does not include: Arrogance, homicidal behavior... etc.).
Ever wondered why some really weird looking people don't have problems with self-esteem? Well, they don't believe that they look weird. :wink:

Keep in mind that low self-esteem means you may be seen as unappreciative of compliments etc. because you don't see them as compliments and that's a turn-off for everyone except bullies because only bullies enjoy people who take everything as an insult (sad but true). Like if you told a girl you liked that she's attractive and she responds that you are a dick. (Kinda makes you uninterested to pursue it doesn't it? ;) )

Guess I should also post a video. :p
Well said mate! Being unappreciative of compliments is a good one, actually a useful tip for me as well. People can even think you're pretentious, like you're disagreeing with the compliment and then hoping that they compliment you again. All the while you just don't believe in yourself enough to believe what they compliment you on.

Ps, Homicidal behavior is a problem?
 
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Discussion Starter #8
Thank you for the warm welcome, iemanja! :) I think my whole issue is that I don't quite understand why I come across that way. It can be kind of hard at times to look at myself and see what it is I'm doing wrong when it comes to something like the way I socialize.

I think it might be because when I get comfortable enough with people, I come out of my shell and become a completely sociable person like night and day, so I guess that could be a little off-putting to some people.

I guess I should stop being lazy and start trying new things. lol I guess I just oftentimes never get a second opinion when it comes to the things I do well, to the point where I have to straight-up ask close friends of mine whether or not I've created something of value; they could say yes but they could just be saying that to make me feel better, you know? Sorry about the paragraph, by the way! XD
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Awesome song, awesome band! :D Johnny Depp's in the music video for that as well so that's pretty amazing. haha I think I just have trouble breaking the ice, not just with girls but in any other scenario. I like to think I can carry a conversation but then again what if I just draw a blank like I often do? I guess it's just a matter of trusting myself and accepting new opportunities when it comes to stuff like that, I'm not sure. :p
 

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Discussion Starter #10
True, I guess self-esteem issues are more synonymous with introverts and NF types as a whole, although it really puts into perspective the kind of person that would have these kinds of issues and where all this is really coming from. Sorry about your internship man, that sucks! D:

I don't think anything I could own would make for any kind of self-esteem boost for me though. I think it just comes down to finding some positive aspect of who I am and just trying to perfect that, if only could find much of anything of the sort.

I try and seem more upbeat and appreciative of what others have to say, although I'm not sure if I get that notion across too well. Pretty awesome song you posted, by the way! :) I like the nuance of the curb on the album cover, adds a bit of subtle subtext.
 
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