Personality Cafe banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I grew up with a lot of infp's and honestly some of my closest friends are infp's but they always struggle with real highs and real lows. so never stable emotionally.

Are there any infp's that have figured it out and don't struggle with getting real lows every little while?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,734 Posts
Yes.





lol sorry my answer is so short but it's a very concrete question xD

mbti actually helped me immensely, specially understanding the Fi-Si loop. Understanding that this was a thing changed the game for me. There were other things that helped too, obvsly. But being able to stop the torture of Fi-Si did something incredible to my life. Every INFP's path is different. I only know my own.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
902 Posts
Yes.

However, I can't deny the fact that I still have storms of intense emotions. It gets triggered and I just have to wait it out. It doesn't affect me externally too much any more because I know it will pass. Although I will complain somewhere and write out my thoughts, I try to collect myself together, and still have fun around people. As @entheos mentioned, finding mbti really helped. I know I am looping, and I know I am able to make the conscious decision to step out of it. I no longer feel helpless in emotions.

However, the timing of the question is kind of funny, because I am currently in the midst of a tornado. I tried laughing, joking, and staying out of my head, but the more I try to live externally, the more I feel I am retreating back into my head. At those moments, I figure I am tired and just let it hit me. There really isn't much for me to do.

Are you asking the question to get some insight on how to care for your INFPs?

If that is the case, all I can say is, be there with their feelings. No matter how uncomfortable you feel with their highs and lows, being completely one with their emotions will help them a lot, because INFPs very often feel "misunderstood" due to their depth of emotions. They feel so much and let those emotions hit very hard. If you try to steer them away from those negative feelings, it will only make them delve further into it because they feel no one understands them. Be there for them. Let them cry and if they want to talk about it, just listen without judgement.

But again, like entheos said, every INFPs has their own journey. So just because we became more stable after studying mbti, does not mean others will as well. There were a lot of things intertwined during that period of time, luckily, for me to change. A lot of insights were provided, and made me realize that no matter how real and precious these emotions feel to me, the only useful way of utilizing the emotions was to empathize and relate to another. And unfortunately, nothing else. As an Fi-dom, it's quite unfortunate. What is most natural to you, has no use in reality. It hurts, but I had to realize that to truly live.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Yes.





lol sorry my answer is so short but it's a very concrete question xD

mbti actually helped me immensely, specially understanding the Fi-Si loop. Understanding that this was a thing changed the game for me. There were other things that helped too, obvsly. But being able to stop the torture of Fi-Si did something incredible to my life. Every INFP's path is different. I only know my own.

thats really cool I m glad you found a way. how long did it take you to do so? to break free from the loop?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,734 Posts
However, I can't deny the fact that I still have storms of intense emotions. It gets triggered and I just have to wait it out. It doesn't affect me externally too much any more because I know it will pass. Although I will complain somewhere and write out my thoughts, I try to collect myself together.

I know I am looping, and I know I am able to make the conscious decision to step out of it. I no longer feel helpless in emotions.

Exactly.

I hadn't had an "episode" in three years, and suddenly I had one just this past summer. I remember it vividly precisely because it had become something that I no longer experienced. It was weird to experience it again. And like you said, the more I told myself to get out of my head and "just stop thinking about that", the more my brain was consuming itself. What I did that night was cry for 1 hour. Literally that's all it took. If I had allowed myself to just fucking cry and let it all out, I would've saved myself a lot of time. And after that, I wrote 20 pages in my diary dissecting what had just happened and my own feelings, and I just understood my own psyche so much better, I understood the root of my reaction, and how it had nothing to do with the girl who hurt me, it had everything to do with past memories of my own self-worth. I think that self-analysis and profound understanding of oneself is key to becoming stable. Once you understand something and truly integrate it, it dissolves either forever or for many years to come.

I just have this unbreakable knowing that all my emotions are temporary, and that everything will pass, even the most horrific thing will pass. I didn't have this knowing in the past. I had to learn it.
So I stay in that perspective, and knowing with absolute certainty that it will end is what makes me stay well when I'm under high stress. I can feel my emotions as the rawest hurricane, and I can feel how much and deep I hurt sometimes, it's not like I became numb or unaffected by life; but it's the way of handling and managing it all that becomes effective, you learn the system that works best for you to manage your inner world, and you stick to that system and it goes well. If it needs tweaking, you tweak it. But it's under control, because you understand it like the palm of your hand.

If I had to give any advice... I can only say don't freak out if the INFP in question cries or something xD People get really weird with displays of negative emotion, particularly sadness or frustration. Anger seems to be more socially accepted. Having my emotions spill all over the floor after trying really hard to contain them, I don't like it. Being witnessed is an unpleasant feeling. But it's even worse if the person who is witnessing is distressed by me. They should be calm and be like "oh no problem, you wanna talk or something".
I have an ENTP family member and I love him to the Underworld and back, and I'm trying to imagine what it would be like if I expressed sadness, or cry-ness in front of him. The only things I express to him are positive emotions and anger. I would feel extremely uncomfortable and stupid expressing lower emotions, even though I know he loves me. I would need him to be silent, not resort to any joke, just be quiet and ask what happened, be a listening ear. This situation has never happened though, so I have no idea if he is capable of such a thing.
Now, OP you speak of how your INFPs are having constant lows. Oh man, I wouldn't be a listening ear to anyone who is constantly in a low. Just because interacting with them affects me too much, and I have zero desire to "save" people. I'd rather save myself. But maybe you're different, I don't know. So... I'm only speaking of a situation where having to put up with a sad person is a special occasion, not something regular and draining.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,734 Posts
thats really cool I m glad you found a way. how long did it take you to do so? to break free from the loop?
The loop (single event)? or being an emotionally uncontrolled person?

The loop, when unmanaged it lasted days and days.
Since I know how to manage it, it lasts 1-2 hours, depending on if I can be alone or if I am forced to be in a social situation. I need to be alone in order to process these things.

If the latter... Going from a depressed emotionally uncontrolled person to an emotionally stable person took me about 5-6 years of daily therapy and self-help books and lots of work, with mbti and enneagram thrown into the mix.
 
  • Like
Reactions: flowart

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
The loop (single event)? or being an emotionally uncontrolled person?

The loop, when unmanaged it lasted days and days.
Since I know how to manage it, it lasts 1-2 hours, depending on if I can be alone or if I am forced to be in a social situation. I need to be alone in order to process these things.

If the latter... Going from a depressed emotionally uncontrolled person to an emotionally stable person took me about 5-6 years of daily therapy and self-help books and lots of work, with mbti and enneagram thrown into the mix.
wow that must have been very difficult you must be very dedicated thats admirable. Thank you very much this has been very helpful and informative! :)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,843 Posts
Struggling with real highs and real lows seems hardly seems to be an INFP exclusive thing. But when I am feeling low, the following things help to stabilize me: cold showers, deep breathing, strength-training exercises, guided visualizations in my mind, Omega 3 supplements, Zinc, Magnesium, Calcium. Praying. Scheduling time to myself indoors, talking with a close family member or friend, or going on long walks by myself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,734 Posts
wow that must have been very difficult you must be very dedicated thats admirable. Thank you very much this has been very helpful and informative! :)
No problem :)
Like I said, every INFP's path is different. My situation was abnormal, because I started from a very low point, being homeless and suicidal, so I had a looooong way to go. Your INFPs obvsly have their individual case by case stories, so :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,202 Posts
@flowart - Intense feelings still of course come and go for me. But, I like to think that I deal with it much better now. I probably would consider myself stable overall. And, I am sure others likely think of me as that way - very stable and consistent (I don't really let them see the waves under the surface very often anymore), although sometimes in my head I'm like "I'm quitting LIFE!" But, it passes.

What @entheos said about self-discovery has also been helpful to me.

Also, it really has helped having a stable consistent person (ISTP) in my life. I know that's probably not a good answer, but I know it has been provision for me. I still have to work out the crap in my life ON MY OWN, but having a consistent person in the background supporting me as I do my work, has been helpful to me.

I think friends who have stayed with me (by just being present and not deserting me when I am being difficult) have helped me to achieve that stability that I want by just being there. Their consistency helped me to be more consistent, if that makes sense. It's not like they are my shoulder to cry on or anything - but rather, just being themselves and hanging out with me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: flowart
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top