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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So we're all aware of how faulty type descriptions are. INFPs are painted as sweet and gentle souls, which I don't necessarily disagree with, but I saw a thread where a poster imagined INFP females as very feminine and not into sports, getting dirty, or anything remotely rough.

Having grownup a "tomboy," I strongly disagree. I played with dolls, but grew bored with playing with just those. In particular, I vividly remember resenting the idea that I was supposed to be interested only in dolls and things in pink, at, like, the age of seven. It was restricting. I wanted to be free, loose, and loud and pretended to be every little thing I imagined.

How was your childhoods? Would you say you were more on the feminine side or no?

*Edit. The toys are just example.
 

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I've never understood why it's "tomboy" and not "tomgirl" (or better yet, "tomgrrl"). Did you ever see the movie Feds? There's a "tomgrrl" character named Ellie and she teams up with Janis, the gentle intellectual Yin to her assertive physical Yang.
 
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I didn't grow up one way or the other. Just depended on what I liked or felt like, sometimes girlygirlish sometimes tomboyish. I loved Barbies and Pokemon. I liked playing with trucks in the dirt and pretending to be a cheerleader. I liked Thomas and Rescue Heroes, I liked Polly Pockets and LPS pets. Going to the boys aisle was a fun journey to me. It was different.

I didn't really feel restricted about any of that I guess? I didn't think about it that hard when I was little. I was deeply inside of my own world. I was a quiet, sensitive kid though so I didn't really enjoy doing things like fishing or football anyways...I hated football. That hurt. I liked soccer and baseball depending on the situation. I was competitive in basketball.

If I liked something boyish, I just subconsciously acknowledged that boys are generally more drawn to certain toys, colors, or whatever. It didn't bother me or make me feel less free or whatever. I didn't often care what people thought of me. One of the gems of childhood I wish I could just snatch back and hold onto forever.

Whenever someone said I couldn't like some kind of boy thingy or couldn't do a boy thingy, it was always said in playful jest in my experience/I just didn't take it seriously anyways. If I saw a girl taking it seriously, I thought she was being a drama queen, or if it was a boy I assumed he wanted to feel tough. Looking back, I just think it was cute. Childhood is a lot of awfully special things, but also amusing in itself.

I grew up in a family of boys...all my cousins were boys, so I was singled out a lot but honestly I didn't care lol I just had fun with whatever fun there was to be had, which was anywhere as a kid.
 

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I liked anything and everything as a child. If by feminine you mean, because I liked it, as a girl, it was now feminine, then I was very feminine. ;)

I had Barbies, and a toy computer. Tons of baby dolls, and tons of legos. Played house, but also computer games. I do remember once I wanted blue curtains for my room and my mom asked me if I didn’t want them pink, and I said no! My favorite color is blue, so why not? The two fish that I had were also blue, haha. I most definitely didn’t try to adhere to gender roles, I just did what felt like fine. I played soccer and basketball, took art classes, learned graphic design, and did coding.

Absolutely hated dresses and skirts, though. Didn’t wear them from ages 7-17. That didn’t generally change how I was perceived, though. My grandmother once commented that my walk was very “ladylike”, which I found amusing at thirteen. Besides a few labels because I loved wearing jeans, I guess I was “balanced” enough in the eyes of adults to not be a tomboy.
 
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I was both gentle and sweet & into getting dirty. My mom would put me in floral dresses (and I loved it) as I went out into the outside world with my father to climb trees. Like things were never mutually exclusive.

My typical Christmas wishlist looked like this: barbie, GI Joe, electric car, ribbons for my hair, boxer gloves, toy guns, easy bake oven...
My interests were a mix bag and I was never pressured to fit into any mold. Sure my parents painted my room pink, and my bed cover was floral, but I never thought anything of it, they just were those colors and I never questioned it, it just was a non-issue.

I loved going fishing with my dad on the weekends, I loved stabbing worms with hooks, I consumed Tim Burton and the Addams Family, I hated dancing and refused when my mom wanted to sign me up for classes, I loved sewing and knitting with my grandma, I loved basketball and insisted on joining training programs. I bought NBA magazines with my allowance money, and stayed up until 5am watching NBA games (my european time zone screwed up my schedule). I also loved romance tv shows and books, Little Women, Jane Austen and other drama. I also got my parents to enroll me in tennis classes because I loved most sports.

It's not black and white.

My parents often tell me I "think like a man", and I've been told in past relationships that I was "the man" in the relationship. Whatever that means. But I certainly felt like the people I dated were "too feminine" for me and I needed something more masculine in my life. Whatever that means. It's subjective.
So yeah, it's not black and white. I very much enjoy wearing a dress and heels and throwing myself into mud and my ideal afternoon is to spend it shooting guns at the range-place-thing.
Whenever I go to fairs and carnivals, I spend most of my money in the shooting rifles corner.
 

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...sweet and gentle souls...
By God, yes I am. As sweet and gentle as they come.

...very feminine and not into sports, getting dirty, or anything remotely rough...
I have a masculine/feminine energy mix. I don't wear dresses, make up, heels. Not into "fashion" or expressing anything via clothes. I am sensitive and cry like a little girl with a sore toe. I HATE getting my hands dirty. I hate smelling rotten. I hate sweat and hard work. I am lazy. Rough is completely out for me. All sports, especially team sports out.

...How was your childhoods? Would you say you were more on the feminine side or no?...
At age 12 I got my first horse. Spent all my time at the barn, up until age 33 or so. Family had an pool in the backyard, one of those nice concrete pools. I suppose I swam every single day except for winter. I spent a lot of time in the woods with myself and friends, hiking, making forts and climbing trees. Even in freezing weather I would play in the woods. I remember my feet pushing through the ice and down to the leaves. I played in the sewer with friends. Played outside at night with the rat pack. Played Barbies with best friend at her house. Had a fruit/vegetable stand at age 11, in the summer. Delivered The Washington Post at age 10/11. I still think I'm a mixture of man and woman. Oh I forgot ..... my childhood was absolutely idyllic. Perfect. I have been unbelievably lucky, my whole life. Surrounded by love, safety and fun.
 

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If one were to categorize the sixteen types as "more masculine" vs. "more feminine", I definitely could see INFP being cited as one of the most feminine personality types. However, I think this is an incorrect way to approach the types, perpetrating gender stereotypes that don't really hold much substance in reality...despite the amount of power society tends to give these two categories.

To me, it's ridiculous to liken sensitivity to "the feminine", because that's just another way of saying "soft", and then "weak". Just because INFPs are sensitive doesn't make us weak...I actually see it the other way around. We're strong in that we embrace the truths of this trait, strong because we embrace the truths of our emotions, and strong because we embrace the truths of our authentic selves in a world that can constantly see all of these as a negative.

I wish to live in a world where sensitivity and emotionality were no longer gender specific. So in that light, I see INFPs capable of having both stereotypical masculine traits and feminine traits, just like every other type.

As for me, I can wear dresses, I see the value in body wash and moisturizer, I deeply care how my hair looks (despite the frizz), and I truthfully do not care to go camping in the middle of the woods for a month, because I have no problem admitting how much I love comfy, blanket filled beds and the internet.

But I also love to explore: I will go swimming with sharks, I will jump into that waterfall (with or without my bathing suit), I will do my creative projects and ruin all my favorite clothing in the process (seriously, I can't do anything without getting it all over me, especially eating!), and I will waltz into the men's section to find shirts and sweaters, because retailers are convinced women don't need pockets for some strange reason.

To me, the lines between these things are not clearly defined, and really, why should they be anyway?
 

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I know an INFP who looks like a tomboy. She wears simple jeans and a t-shirt every day, and they aren't a very feminine shape or style. She chooses slacks and a suit jacket rather than a dress when she has to dress up. Her haircut is shoulder-length with a simple part, and I don't think she ever wears makeup. I think she's pretty cool. She chooses to put her stock into her projects and quick wit.

I'm a mix between tomboy and girly in the way I dress. I have a simple haircut with boring center part, and I don't wear makeup. But I like my jeans and t-shirts to be sexy. And I kill it in dresses when I need to be flamboyant! I don't know. I just like to be comfortable and not have to focus on things that I will just have to wash off at the end of the day. I also don't shave often because... well, I just don't feel like doing it.

For personality and disposition, I'm a mix. I like to sashay around gentlemen and giggle at jokes and smile at people(just about everybody). But I love to move equipment and do manual labor, and I often don't get the opportunity to do it because people send all the guys to do it. I haven't been to the gym in a while, but I worked to build my muscles, and I like to brag to dudes that I do deadlifts! :) My mentality is a mix between thinking like a girl and thinking like a man. It's like one of those sex-changing animals—I act more masculine around women and more feminine around men. My flirting style is a lot more bold than other women I know, but it has to be since the way I talk is playful and witty.

I feel like my look is simple, and my role is social equalizer.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I've never understood why it's "tomboy" and not "tomgirl" (or better yet, "tomgrrl"). Did you ever see the movie Feds? There's a "tomgrrl" character named Ellie and she teams up with Janis, the gentle intellectual Yin to her assertive physical Yang.
I haven't, but based off the "Feds" concept is a movie I have to add to my list.
 

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So we're all aware of how faulty type descriptions are. INFPs are painted as sweet and gentle souls, which I don't necessarily disagree with, but I saw a thread where a poster imagined INFP females as very feminine and not into sports, getting dirty, or anything remotely rough.

Having grownup a "tomboy," I strongly disagree. I played with dolls, but grew bored with playing with just those. In particular, I vividly remember resenting the idea that I was supposed to be interested only in dolls and things in pink, at, like, the age of seven. It was restricting. I wanted to be free, loose, and loud and pretended to be every little thing I imagined.

How was your childhoods? Would you say you were more on the feminine side or no?

*Edit. The toys are just example.
I was definitely a tom boy growing up, and was still one in my teen years. Maybe still a little bit now even, but not as much as I used to be.

I hated playing with dolls, hated make up, and hated pink, lol, and all my favourite pokemon were all the cool ones. Actually I still don't wear make up... Okay maybe some, but its rare. 99% of the time I don't wear it. I hated wearing dresses and skirts, probably because of the fact they were uncomfortable and would blow up in the wind and shit and you couldn't just relax and sprawl your legs out, you had to sit 'lady-like'. Also I really, hate high heels. They're really uncomfortable, and highly impractical. But women are like, "You gotta have some pain to look beautiful". Actually, from what I've heard, men think high heels are silly, and impractical.
 
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I've never been feminine in regards to interests (hated dolls and dresses), but I am way too overly emotional and sensitive for my own good.
 
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