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Hey, I'm new around here, just got into this Enneagram stuff not too long ago. I can't figure out what type I am though. Every test I've taken has said something different. I've gotten types 1, 2, 4, 7, and 9 on various tests, despite trying my best to answer as honestly as possible. So I tried to look at the descriptions of the various types instead, but all that did was make me more confused.
I can see parts of myself in some of the enneagram types, but none of them really fit me like INFP does for MBTI. When I was reading the descriptions of INFP after taking the MBTI test, I would have a lot of little moments in which I would think "Oh, that's why I do that! I thought I was just weird!" But I haven't experienced this feeling with any of the enneagram types. So maybe some people who know more about this than me would be willing to help? I filled out the questionnaire from Spades, so I'll post that below.
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
My own independence mostly, which I’ll probably be mentioning several more times in my answers here. Apart from that, pretty much just being content and somehow making the world a better place.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Well just the basic things pretty much….being able to support myself and live a nice (but modest) life, and helping my friends and family when they need it. Apart from that, I pretty much just want to make the world better somehow, even if it’s only in one miniscule way. I don’t need to do or change much in the world, just make some kind of impact, however small.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
Basically I just want to avoid becoming a bad person. Well that or becoming horribly boring I suppose. The values that are really important to me are being good to others, and not trying to hurt, control, or do otherwise bad things to other people.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I think one of my biggest fears is not being independent and in control of my own life. Right now I’m still living at home, and I hate it. It honestly has absolutely nothing to do with the people involved (even though I could do without some of them, but that’s another story). It’s a need to be able to get around on my own (I live in the suburbs with no car=not fun), be in charge of my own bills, keep my home how I want it, and to generally just be in charge of my own life. I realize that all this is a lot of work, but for some reason that fact not only doesn’t put me off at all, I actually relish and look forward to the idea. Call me naïve or childish if you wish; I just really want to be in charge of all my own affairs.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as a nice person, but not to the point where I can be taken advantage of. I see myself as a sort of odd, and usually a nice person so long as someone isn’t really mean to me or anything.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
What makes me feel my best is when I accomplish something or achieve a goal I’ve worked really hard towards, especially if it’s something that uses my creativity. Though I do tend to be a bit of a perfectionist with those things! :laughing: Apart from that just when I have an extended period of time to myself and no plans, when I can just relax and do something on my own. I feel my worst when I cannot or can just barely do something because I’m afraid of it, when I’ve failed to accomplish something I really wanted to, or when I get into an argument with somebody. I’m terrible in arguments and always feel vulnerable.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a. Usually when I get angry, I get stupid. I am even less able to express my thoughts and feelings properly than usual, and always wish I could fight with the person physically rather than verbally, despite not exactly being some huge intimidating person.
b. In regards to shame, I will try to make reparations if possible, such as apologizing if I’ve wronged someone, etc. If this is not possible, I will usually get discouraged in myself and try not to think about it. Reflecting on what I did wrong always makes me feel stupid, which I don’t think really accomplishes anything when I don’t have that high of self esteem to begin with.
c. Many times when I’m anxious about something, I will try to avoid thinking about it at all. If it’s a project or similar thing that I’m worried about which must be done, I will usually put it off until the last possible moment, and then finish it in a panicked frenzy. Strangely, this has not affected my grades too badly, provided the teacher didn’t have checkpoints during the course of the project. If it’s some other thought or issue that I’m worried about that I don’t have to (or can’t) do anything with, then I usually just try to avoid thinking about it by distracting myself with other things.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a. My response to stress usually is calm outside, messed up crazy inside. Although despite usually getting really worked up in stressful situations, I somehow always maintain enough of an inner calm to deal with whatever is stressing me out. Perhaps this is due to my attempts to keep a calm outer appearance, although usually that comes fairly naturally.
b. In terms of unexpected change, my reaction and feelings toward it depend very highly on what precisely that change is. Generally speaking if the change is either something good or something neutral, I’m either indifferent or slightly happy, unless of course the change is fantastic. If the change is bad, I am of course upset. The only real exception to this rule is in regards to making or breaking specific plans. Despite not liking having things planned out, it does bother me when specific plans change suddenly. I get over it, but I don’t like it (unless of course it’s something I didn’t want to do! :tongue
. How upset I get over it really depends on my mood.
c. I am not at all good with conflict. Usually I try to avoid it by avoiding anyone who appears prone to starting it. If forced into a conflict I have one of three reactions. Usually I clam up, and just let the person yell, especially if I don’t see whatever they’re yelling about as something worth fighting over. If somebody really makes me angry though, I have one of two arguing styles. I will either get very sarcastic, or I will yell nonsensically as loud as I can in an attempt to intimidate the other person into leaving me alone. Usually the nonsensical phrases will include things such as “LEAVE ME ALONE!” or “STOP YELLING AT ME!”, with some swearing thrown in if I feel it’s appropriate. Regardless of my reaction, I will always try to flee the scene as quickly as possible and completely shut myself off from others for awhile afterwards.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I don’t really want authority or power to be honest, but if I ever received them I’d probably be a quiet leader who thought carefully before I acted. Although I imagine I wouldn’t handle conflict very well. I might be a bit disconnected at times, but I would try my best to help the people under me. I don’t much like the idea of anyone (including myself) having authority or power, because it seems like for many people there would be far too great of a temptation to misuse and abuse it. I also don’t like being told what to do (who does? lol) which doesn’t improve my opinion on the subject.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
My outlook on life is fairly positive usually, although many times, being an INFP, I am off in fantasy land. Usually the only times I’ll get a negative outlook on life are when I have bad encounters with other people (like arguments, etc), or when I get into a bad situation of some kind. I suppose my outlook on humanity is that of a disappointed/disgruntled optimist. I really do want to believe the best of humanity, but so often that hope is shattered by people who do such disgusting things, like hurt and kill innocent people and start wars. But despite all that, I do still want to make the world a better place and such.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
An event that has impacted my life significantly is my younger brother being diagnosed with autism, and later on, epilepsy. Since we're only about a year and a half apart and he was only three when he was diagnosed with autism, I was too young to remember it. But ever since he was diagnosed (and I was old enough to be somewhat self aware), I’ve tried to do what I could to help take care of him. My father was often off on business trips and even when he was around, he wasn’t exactly an active, present parent, so I became a sort of substitute second parent.
Among my earliest memories is one time when I was five, when both my parents were sick with food poisoning and unable to get out of bed. I watched my brother to make sure that he didn’t get into anything he wasn’t supposed to or hurt himself in any way. I also made us pb&j sandwiches for both lunch and dinner, because it was the only thing I knew how to make. :laughing:
He was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was 11. Initially I was very scared of his seizures, and because of them I was not comfortable watching him on my own anymore until I was around 15 or 16. Over the years I’ve gotten more and more comfortable treating his seizures, and so nowadays I watch him by myself on a regular basis.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more outspoken in regards to my opinions on his school programs and such, and now attend every school meeting and almost all of his doctor’s appointments. I feel that people often underestimate my brother’s skills, opinions, and ability to understand things simply because he is disabled. So whenever we talk about a new program for him, or about him getting a job in the near future (he’s 19 currently), I push for the best possible options for him, and try to get him to be able to see as many of the options as possible for himself, since he is a very concrete and visual person. When he sees a new program, or whatever other option he has for work or school, I try my best to always hold his opinion in the highest regard, so long as it is reasonable. I also try to make sure that the options he has are explained clearly to him so that he is able to choose what he wants. Whenever we have discussions about his future, I very strongly emphasize that it’s his life, and he will be the one stuck with whatever is chosen, and that therefore his opinion should be respected more than all others.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
My relationship with trust relies heavily on my intuition. Usually I will have a gut feeling if someone is trustworthy or not after either talking to them, or just watching them interacting with others for a little while. I then will base whether I trust them or not on how I feel. But for someone to earn my deepest trust, it’s exceedingly difficult. The few people I do trust that deeply have known me since I was a young child, and there are some that have lost that trust with alarming finality and abruptness on my part. They weren’t undeserving of that treatment, but I slammed the door hard and bolted it shut.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a. Creative, curious, very protective of those I care about deeply.
b. Hatred of conflict, difficulty in speaking up in meetings and such, always “off in la la land”.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Mostly just if they are trustworthy, nice, etc or not. I usually have to either interact or watch them interact for a few minutes, but then I tend to notice these things very strongly.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
It’s weird, but I handle insults from strangers better than compliments. If a stranger insults me, I’m sort of hurt and embarrassed for a minute, but then usually I get annoyed and just think Oh whatever, fuck them, and walk away. If someone compliments me though I’m incredibly embarrassed and try to brush off the compliment, like I don’t deserve it. I also always want desperately to leave, but can’t because I know it would be very rude after they were nice enough to compliment me. I hate being the center of attention.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a. I am thankful to have the people I care about. I’m also thankful for the fact that I’m able to function and live a full life without having to be cared for like a child for the rest of my life.
b. I wish I could have parents that I could bring myself to care about, and that I could be living on my own, doing my own thing.
Sorry I wrote a book here, lol. But I figured more info would be helpful for anybody trying to type me. Anyway, thanks for your help guys! :happy:
I can see parts of myself in some of the enneagram types, but none of them really fit me like INFP does for MBTI. When I was reading the descriptions of INFP after taking the MBTI test, I would have a lot of little moments in which I would think "Oh, that's why I do that! I thought I was just weird!" But I haven't experienced this feeling with any of the enneagram types. So maybe some people who know more about this than me would be willing to help? I filled out the questionnaire from Spades, so I'll post that below.
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
My own independence mostly, which I’ll probably be mentioning several more times in my answers here. Apart from that, pretty much just being content and somehow making the world a better place.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Well just the basic things pretty much….being able to support myself and live a nice (but modest) life, and helping my friends and family when they need it. Apart from that, I pretty much just want to make the world better somehow, even if it’s only in one miniscule way. I don’t need to do or change much in the world, just make some kind of impact, however small.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
Basically I just want to avoid becoming a bad person. Well that or becoming horribly boring I suppose. The values that are really important to me are being good to others, and not trying to hurt, control, or do otherwise bad things to other people.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I think one of my biggest fears is not being independent and in control of my own life. Right now I’m still living at home, and I hate it. It honestly has absolutely nothing to do with the people involved (even though I could do without some of them, but that’s another story). It’s a need to be able to get around on my own (I live in the suburbs with no car=not fun), be in charge of my own bills, keep my home how I want it, and to generally just be in charge of my own life. I realize that all this is a lot of work, but for some reason that fact not only doesn’t put me off at all, I actually relish and look forward to the idea. Call me naïve or childish if you wish; I just really want to be in charge of all my own affairs.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as a nice person, but not to the point where I can be taken advantage of. I see myself as a sort of odd, and usually a nice person so long as someone isn’t really mean to me or anything.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
What makes me feel my best is when I accomplish something or achieve a goal I’ve worked really hard towards, especially if it’s something that uses my creativity. Though I do tend to be a bit of a perfectionist with those things! :laughing: Apart from that just when I have an extended period of time to myself and no plans, when I can just relax and do something on my own. I feel my worst when I cannot or can just barely do something because I’m afraid of it, when I’ve failed to accomplish something I really wanted to, or when I get into an argument with somebody. I’m terrible in arguments and always feel vulnerable.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a. Usually when I get angry, I get stupid. I am even less able to express my thoughts and feelings properly than usual, and always wish I could fight with the person physically rather than verbally, despite not exactly being some huge intimidating person.
b. In regards to shame, I will try to make reparations if possible, such as apologizing if I’ve wronged someone, etc. If this is not possible, I will usually get discouraged in myself and try not to think about it. Reflecting on what I did wrong always makes me feel stupid, which I don’t think really accomplishes anything when I don’t have that high of self esteem to begin with.
c. Many times when I’m anxious about something, I will try to avoid thinking about it at all. If it’s a project or similar thing that I’m worried about which must be done, I will usually put it off until the last possible moment, and then finish it in a panicked frenzy. Strangely, this has not affected my grades too badly, provided the teacher didn’t have checkpoints during the course of the project. If it’s some other thought or issue that I’m worried about that I don’t have to (or can’t) do anything with, then I usually just try to avoid thinking about it by distracting myself with other things.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a. My response to stress usually is calm outside, messed up crazy inside. Although despite usually getting really worked up in stressful situations, I somehow always maintain enough of an inner calm to deal with whatever is stressing me out. Perhaps this is due to my attempts to keep a calm outer appearance, although usually that comes fairly naturally.
b. In terms of unexpected change, my reaction and feelings toward it depend very highly on what precisely that change is. Generally speaking if the change is either something good or something neutral, I’m either indifferent or slightly happy, unless of course the change is fantastic. If the change is bad, I am of course upset. The only real exception to this rule is in regards to making or breaking specific plans. Despite not liking having things planned out, it does bother me when specific plans change suddenly. I get over it, but I don’t like it (unless of course it’s something I didn’t want to do! :tongue
. How upset I get over it really depends on my mood.c. I am not at all good with conflict. Usually I try to avoid it by avoiding anyone who appears prone to starting it. If forced into a conflict I have one of three reactions. Usually I clam up, and just let the person yell, especially if I don’t see whatever they’re yelling about as something worth fighting over. If somebody really makes me angry though, I have one of two arguing styles. I will either get very sarcastic, or I will yell nonsensically as loud as I can in an attempt to intimidate the other person into leaving me alone. Usually the nonsensical phrases will include things such as “LEAVE ME ALONE!” or “STOP YELLING AT ME!”, with some swearing thrown in if I feel it’s appropriate. Regardless of my reaction, I will always try to flee the scene as quickly as possible and completely shut myself off from others for awhile afterwards.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
I don’t really want authority or power to be honest, but if I ever received them I’d probably be a quiet leader who thought carefully before I acted. Although I imagine I wouldn’t handle conflict very well. I might be a bit disconnected at times, but I would try my best to help the people under me. I don’t much like the idea of anyone (including myself) having authority or power, because it seems like for many people there would be far too great of a temptation to misuse and abuse it. I also don’t like being told what to do (who does? lol) which doesn’t improve my opinion on the subject.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
My outlook on life is fairly positive usually, although many times, being an INFP, I am off in fantasy land. Usually the only times I’ll get a negative outlook on life are when I have bad encounters with other people (like arguments, etc), or when I get into a bad situation of some kind. I suppose my outlook on humanity is that of a disappointed/disgruntled optimist. I really do want to believe the best of humanity, but so often that hope is shattered by people who do such disgusting things, like hurt and kill innocent people and start wars. But despite all that, I do still want to make the world a better place and such.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
An event that has impacted my life significantly is my younger brother being diagnosed with autism, and later on, epilepsy. Since we're only about a year and a half apart and he was only three when he was diagnosed with autism, I was too young to remember it. But ever since he was diagnosed (and I was old enough to be somewhat self aware), I’ve tried to do what I could to help take care of him. My father was often off on business trips and even when he was around, he wasn’t exactly an active, present parent, so I became a sort of substitute second parent.
Among my earliest memories is one time when I was five, when both my parents were sick with food poisoning and unable to get out of bed. I watched my brother to make sure that he didn’t get into anything he wasn’t supposed to or hurt himself in any way. I also made us pb&j sandwiches for both lunch and dinner, because it was the only thing I knew how to make. :laughing:
He was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was 11. Initially I was very scared of his seizures, and because of them I was not comfortable watching him on my own anymore until I was around 15 or 16. Over the years I’ve gotten more and more comfortable treating his seizures, and so nowadays I watch him by myself on a regular basis.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more outspoken in regards to my opinions on his school programs and such, and now attend every school meeting and almost all of his doctor’s appointments. I feel that people often underestimate my brother’s skills, opinions, and ability to understand things simply because he is disabled. So whenever we talk about a new program for him, or about him getting a job in the near future (he’s 19 currently), I push for the best possible options for him, and try to get him to be able to see as many of the options as possible for himself, since he is a very concrete and visual person. When he sees a new program, or whatever other option he has for work or school, I try my best to always hold his opinion in the highest regard, so long as it is reasonable. I also try to make sure that the options he has are explained clearly to him so that he is able to choose what he wants. Whenever we have discussions about his future, I very strongly emphasize that it’s his life, and he will be the one stuck with whatever is chosen, and that therefore his opinion should be respected more than all others.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
My relationship with trust relies heavily on my intuition. Usually I will have a gut feeling if someone is trustworthy or not after either talking to them, or just watching them interacting with others for a little while. I then will base whether I trust them or not on how I feel. But for someone to earn my deepest trust, it’s exceedingly difficult. The few people I do trust that deeply have known me since I was a young child, and there are some that have lost that trust with alarming finality and abruptness on my part. They weren’t undeserving of that treatment, but I slammed the door hard and bolted it shut.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a. Creative, curious, very protective of those I care about deeply.
b. Hatred of conflict, difficulty in speaking up in meetings and such, always “off in la la land”.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Mostly just if they are trustworthy, nice, etc or not. I usually have to either interact or watch them interact for a few minutes, but then I tend to notice these things very strongly.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
It’s weird, but I handle insults from strangers better than compliments. If a stranger insults me, I’m sort of hurt and embarrassed for a minute, but then usually I get annoyed and just think Oh whatever, fuck them, and walk away. If someone compliments me though I’m incredibly embarrassed and try to brush off the compliment, like I don’t deserve it. I also always want desperately to leave, but can’t because I know it would be very rude after they were nice enough to compliment me. I hate being the center of attention.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a. I am thankful to have the people I care about. I’m also thankful for the fact that I’m able to function and live a full life without having to be cared for like a child for the rest of my life.
b. I wish I could have parents that I could bring myself to care about, and that I could be living on my own, doing my own thing.
Sorry I wrote a book here, lol. But I figured more info would be helpful for anybody trying to type me. Anyway, thanks for your help guys! :happy:
