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The inability to switch off emotions/a mood in order to accomplish a task. Being subjected to the authority of a mood, and having it dictate whether I
1. Do a job at all,
2. Do a job but badly done,
3. Procrastinate, waiting for "the right mood" "the inspiration" to come along.

This is why I tend to do projects last minute, or in sporadic, short, but intense bursts of energy.
If I make a schedule to get something done in little chunks of daily time regardless of my mood/inspiration, my project turns out absolute shit, quality -50.
But if I wait to feel the inspiration, and I work in tiny energy bursts of like 2 hours 1 day a week, or if I do the project literally 48 hours before due date, the quality is +50. I cannot deliver quality if the mood is not there. And this means that I'm always stressed out because procrastination gives me anxiety and working last minute gives me stress and more anxiety. And yet I deliver my best work under that kind of environment. It's insane. And I hate it. I wish I could be like an earth sign archetype: slow and steady. I'm arrhythmic, fast, bursty, shifting.
We both deliver the same work in terms of quality, but it seems to me that my way of doing things is much more exhausting than their approach. After accomplishing the thing, I need to rest for five thousand years.
 

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Not feeling fulfilled everyday even though you are literally blessed with every opportunity in life
Ugh, here already begins the sad story. I literally tend to wake up half depressed every day. There have been exceptions, but they simply don't last.

It's for me very hard to feel fulfilled, or even satisfied with myself and my life, most of the time. I really struggle with this. I am uncertain this will ever change.
 

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Losing a good opportunity because my anxiety and doubt convinced me that something would go wrong, then overcompensating for those mental obstacles and ruining it.
 

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I know we procrastinate, so some examples of mine :proud:

Dishes obviously
Sweeping my room
Dusting or cleaning bathroom
Cleaning anything in general
If showers weren't so amazing.. I'd skip those too
Writing, even now I have someone I need to write
Exercise, I'm sore, so maybe I should just wait till I'm 100%

Being too nonchalant about an issue, or being to concerned about something idiotic. Then I think my problems are nothing, think of the kids with cancer! That lasts five minutes, and I procrastinate some more. To procrastinate is a verb so technically I am a very busy man, and I'm PRO at it. I know I'm super funny right? Right.............
 

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Being just goddamn tired of people.

I get so annoyed what people do when I am out that I get a horrible mix of nausea and anger. Happens mostly with people that are too generic, too self-centered and just fucking obnoxious people in general. Also people that are talking with each other about status and that shit. However, I don't reaaally know what it is but very many people can really grind my gears when I'm out and about and it fucking stinks.

Happens also with new people that I meet. People that try too much, being all social and stuff. Not actually having a personality, just faking shit. This specific tone of voice in social situations that really triggers me. So hard to explain but however there is absolutely no genuinity in that tone at all and it makes me so sad. Just this lack of genuinity and honesty in conversations that these people have with strangers, just so incredibly important for those people for strangers to like them. I don't know if anyone of you experienced the same. Maybe it's just in sweden where everyone does everything to seem nice but in reality they are sinister and self-centered pricks.

I can be a prick to strangers but to those I love and I am very considerate. The people in Sweden are pricks to those that they are close to and super nice to all strangers. That is what I fucking hate with Sweden. Wait when did this become a rant of Sweden? LOL

However people is my problem.

 

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Even when you try to interact with people and be present, you can't help but to retreat back to your head. It's just more interesting there.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"
 

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Jumping to fast between thoughts without explaining the steps properly and loosing people on the way. Then they loose you(or at least me) when expecting one to know stuff people tend to know(this might be just me, I am really bad at common knowledge, I know lots of random(or seemingly random, it is things I find interesting I guess) stuff, but often not the things people expect one to know about).

Being late a lot because of procrastination, but haing being late because it is causing others bother, and is seen as a sign of disrespect, so feeling lots of shame and guilt about it, but it doesn't help correct the matter, but just ads more negative feeling to the "being in time"-activity, which means it will be avoided until the last moment again->procrastination, being too late again->more negative feeling attached to the "being on time"-activity and so on until deciding it might be better to remove oneself from things where one need to be on time if possible... This might also just be me, or hopefully, was me.

Being so hungry for all the opportunities peoplerelated stuff presents, but not having the energy to put up with having people around for very long. (and feeling a bit guilty after writing this as it seems I want to use people as tools...)

The pull between wanting to take another's perspective and try to understand, and wanting to be steadfast in one's own oppinions and true to one's values.
 

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The pull between wanting to take another's perspective and try to understand, and wanting to be steadfast in one's own oppinions and true to one's values.
Thiiis

Being about as thick skinned as a single epidermic layer about as substantial as pantyhose

Being stuck in a fi-si loop and unable to forget past traumas, at all

Floating in a bubble in fantasy land full of romance and fairy-mermaid hybrids singing to you about how the world is beautiful and you are an angel and then it being popped and falling into a pool of quicksand called "reality"
 

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Wanna say all the things but nahhhhhhh....
 

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The biggest problem i have is that i have too many problems, but at the same time i no problem with anything. This sums up my existence.
 

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Procrastination

Socializing

Starting projects and then not finishing them

Sleeping too much

Daydreaming 99% of the time.
 
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