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This has been in my mind for a little while. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, who I had a very deep meaningful relationship with. Since we broke up I've had a few casual relationships and have mixed feelings about them. They don't necessarily feel meaningless or make me feel cheap/worthless..I feel quite happy thinking about most of my experiences actually. Of course, they were nothing like being in a loving relationship and I feel very empty.

I've heard that most INFP's hate casual sex and get nothing from them, since we're all about intense, deep love. I definitely prefer to be in a meaningful relationship, but those kinds of people only come into your life every once in a while and being sexually active...you can't always wait around :p

Are there any other INFP's or people that know of INFP's with the same experience? It'd be appreciated to hear what anyone has to offer (advice or just stories) and to know if there's any happily promiscuous INFP's out there or if we're just better off in relationships :)
 

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It's worked for me so far. I don't have the desire to want to be emotionally entangled with other people and weed my way past that psychological minefield for the chance at something "deeper." For now leaving things more casual frees me up to enjoy the other persons company and the sex a lot more than I would have. I know that "needing" love is a big INFP stereotype but it's not necessary to having sex or enjoying someone's company.
 

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It's worked for me so far. I don't have the desire to want to be emotionally entangled with other people and weed my way past that psychological minefield for the chance at something "deeper." For now leaving things more casual frees me up to enjoy the other persons company and the sex a lot more than I would have. I know that "needing" love is a big INFP stereotype but it's not necessary to having sex or enjoying someone's company.
I agree, but I think you are somewhat alone on this score with 'the rest of the INFPs.'
 

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I agree, but I think you are somewhat alone on this score with 'the rest of the INFPs.'
Well myself and apparently the OP. What most INFPs seem unable to do is separate their heart from their genitals, something I stopped doing quite some time ago.
 

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I'm with android on this one. Sex is fun but sex is sex. I can distinguish between sex and feelings with ease. I don't always have sex with people I necessarily like/hang out with. And - if I like a person, I will want to have sex with him, but the fact of a sexual encounter doesn't change my feelings of like towards that person (having sex will be a bonus, lol, but I'd probably like him for way too many other reasons than just to want to know him as a lover).

Does that make sense?
 

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Hhmm. I've never tried. But, I don't think I would. Sex, to me, is an emotional connection. It's vulnerability. I don't think I can do that with just anyone. There'd have to be quite a lot of interaction first. Maybe a friend I'd be attracted to, but that there wouldn't be 'strings attached'. I don't know if I'd do it. I probably wouldn't initiate it. Already looking at myself, I take a long time to open up with someone. And being physical feels foreign at the beginning of any relationship with someone.
 

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No. Couldn't do it. Regardless of morals and all that stuff. I honestly would prefer it if I could find one person and pursue a loving relationship and marriage. I find the whole casual relationships and whatnot to be piss farting around. It's all a bunch of: Find a person, break up. Find a person, break up. Find a person, break up. Sounds like a headache. I just want friendship first and then a deep loving relationship to stem from it (Marriage or whatever). Nice and simple. Why bother with all the heartbreak and that crap that goes along with it?
 

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It's all a bunch of: Find a person, break up. Find a person, break up. Find a person, break up. Sounds like a headache.

That's monogamy, what you described is not casual sex.
 

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Beer Guardian
ENTP 5w6 So/Sx 584 ILE Honorary INTJ ♂
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I count this as typism. I think there are folks of every type who engage in casual sex, and prolly just as many who don't for various reasons.

It is considered age-appropriate for a person in their late teens/early twenties to have casual sex. It is part of discovering one's self as a sexual being, and can be instrumental in learning how to please a future partner.

This being said, one may make other choices, depending upon one's convictions, or opportunities. If you decide to have casual sex, use protection against pregnancy and STDs (why am I suddenly feeling all fatherly?). It's a jungle out there, and a few minutes of intense pleasure can haunt you for the rest of your life, so arm yourself with knowledge and keep condoms ready and available. I highly recommend the kind with spermicidal lubricants.
 

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I would say I'm definitely capable of casual sex. But only with strangers (Well not strangers, haha. I have to at least trust them first).

I say "only with strangers" because I'm currently f*** buddies with my Ex-girlfriend. And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't making getting over her a lot more difficult. I don't expect to keep this up with her for very much longer. It's just going to lead to some emotional mess further down the road, after I allow myself to become attached to her again.
 

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I'm ok with casual sex and I always have been. I'm still selective about who with and I need to experience some level of connection, but I don't need to be in a relationship or need to see the potential for one.
 

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When I was single, I considered myself OK with casual sex, but I knew in my heart that what I really wanted was a lasting romantic relationship. Since I couldn't count on that happening, or know when to expect the next sexual opportunity, I thought I could "make the most of it" in the meantime. I had brief sex with a few friends and would-be dates, but they were all unavailable for various reasons. Some of them I wanted very much to become girlfriends.
 

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That's monogamy, what you described is not casual sex.
I was referring to casual sex and then even going down to short-term relationship.
 

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I am heavily leaning towards my dad being an INFP.
My impression of him is that he is far more concerned with people perceiving him as some kind of chick magnet when he was young then I am.
I remember one time we were in a 3-way awkward conversation with him, my cousin (ESFP), and myself where they were both talking about how many ladies wanted them/sexual conquests.
I always found that kind of talk juvenile, I don't kiss and tell with many people I know.

Even today when people mention "casual sex" and present it in a manner that they've evolved beyond the normal stigmas associated with sex like "love, connection, etc" all I can do is roll my eyes.

My internal thought process is:
"Wow you learned to fuck people and not care, you are truly something I aspire to be"
"Wow you have a lot of sex with a lot of people, you are a pillar of mankind - sex is so difficult?"

I mean at the end of the day who gives a shit who you fuck and why you fuck?
I don't feel like sharing pleasure with just anyone because sex is intimate unless you've adopted a pornstar mentality and even if you have evolved such a mentality you cannot be sure the other person has - unless you're in a porn movie together. And if you have adopted this mentality then I don't care - unless we're about to bang. Then let me know so I can objectify you, bust a nut and throw your number away.

I prefer to reserve intimacy for people who are worth my time and if others don't that's fine too but either way don't consider me to be impressed that you simply think of sex differently then I do it'd be like me expecting you to be impressed that I think of sex as an intimate act. I can take a mechanistic approach to sex but it's not something that I really strive for.
 

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I would love to find a consistent casual sex partner that was not really a 'friend' but I did enjoy their company. Someone once told me I want a booty call ^^ I dont mind casual sex but I do not trust most people, and the more people I have sex with the more I open myself up to STD's and clingy people ^^ I still have emotions when having casual sex, but instead of being based on my love for someone, they are based in my love to touch and experience. :}
 
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