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Discussion Starter #1
I have been to a couple counselors I'm my life and enjoyed being able to talks about my never ending intuitive ideas and life. The problem is I've never felt like I made any personal progress when talking to a counselor. Are there any INFP's out there that have benefited from counseling or are currently seeing a counselor and making progress?
 

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*waves hand* I have!

I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a teen and it got to the point that I was on anti-depressants in my mid/late twenties. I finally went to a therapist because while the medication helped some, it wasn't solving the problem. The therapist helped me to see where I was interpreting and reacting to situations unrealistically, ways to try and counteract that and coping strategies for when I start/am feeling depressed. Am I "cured"? No, this is something that I will deal with for the rest of my life; is it better? Heck yeah!

I think I was fortunate to find the find the right therapist for me, and that I was at a point where I was ready to listen and actually apply what she taught me. If I had gone when I was 20, I probably wouldn't have benefited at all. I don't know what your are seeing a therapist for (and I don't need to know, that is your business) but I think you need to go with specific goal of what it is you are trying to achieve with the therapy in mind and be willing to try what they suggest (within reason of course).

Anyway, I hope this helps! :)
 

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I've talked to counsellors on a few occasions. They definitely helped me out, primarily by helping me talk to people, period. For the most part, I have a natural tendency to appear stoic and brooding, giving off a "troubled" air but not talking about it until things get too much to handle. Counselling got me out of that habit to a great degree, and helped me learn to talk about my problems.


The thing with counselling, and any other mental health-based problem, is you can't deal with it unless you're self-aware and honest. You can lie to a counsellor or psychiatrist and they might not see through it. They may be trained to be perceptive, but they aren't telepathic. And even if they do see through you, until you're willing to be honest with your self, it won't make a bit of difference.


In the end I'd say counselling is more about how you work through things, not your counsellor. They just help you to hold up the mirror, give you perspective, offer insights, etc. But you do the actual healing.
 

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At a time when I most needed counseling I didn't seek it but I did later for different reasons. I learned this; some will be happy to see you weekly for the rest of your life if you just need to talk, but that's a waste of time if you're there to resolve something & move on. For my time & money I need to have a specific goal & cut to the chase. First visit will be: "Here's my problem, what would you suggest?" If they're ambiguous & talk in circles about nothing relevant I'd find another counselor. My ex & I went to a marriage counselor/psychologist for 2 1/2 years, then I filed for a divorce. She was more interested in getting her insurance payments than resolving anything. Years later I learned my ex was bipolar. The psychologist never picked up on it! But we paid off a big chunk of her Nissan 300ZX. Anyway, some good ones & some not so good ones. I would ask around & find one that someone's had good results with & try them. Oh, my last counselor refused to schedule a follow up appointment. She asked me if I agreed with something stupid she said (insulted me) & I said "No." Pissed her off or hurt her feelings I guess. Beware of the flakes.
 

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What if your counselor interrupts you constantly to talk about herself? I'm getting nothing from it.
@telepariah -- go to a different counselor, eh?

Sarcastic INTJ remark at 3 AM -- is your counselor hitting on you? A counselor talking about herself seems oddly unprofessional...!
 

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I've been to a school counselor weekly for a while, which is basically only group counseling. Like teenagers should automatically have the same struggles, like alcoholics or people suffering from depression. Like I can just throw my stuff down in front of the others and not have it haunt me later. This type of counseling gets us nowhere. Why do I keep going? I get out of class, she hands out butterscotch candy afterward (my weakness), and the school won't let me sign out of it.

As for seeing a professional outside of school, my mom is resistant to it because she went to a flake. One bad experience is all it takes to lose faith entirely.
 

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Thanks @Laeona and @g_w. It has been really strange. On my third visit she suddenly she started getting very agitated, talking through gritted teeth and acting like she was pissed off. She alternated between telling me I had screwed up and shouldn't have made an appointment when I did, then saying she didn't mean it was actually my fault. She did that again as I was leaving. Every time I would try to talk about something I have a problem with, she just interrupted me and told me how she would handle it. As I left I was really confused but made another appointment on the way out for the time she wanted me to come. Then she had the office cancel it at the last minute. So I guess I don't even have a therapist anymore. And I guess that's ok for now. I don't want any more of whatever that was. Since that is the only place my insurance will cover, I'm out.
 

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Thanks @Laeona and @g_w. It has been really strange. On my third visit she suddenly she started getting very agitated, talking through gritted teeth and acting like she was pissed off. She alternated between telling me I had screwed up and shouldn't have made an appointment when I did, then saying she didn't mean it was actually my fault. She did that again as I was leaving. Every time I would try to talk about something I have a problem with, she just interrupted me and told me how she would handle it. As I left I was really confused but made another appointment on the way out for the time she wanted me to come. Then she had the office cancel it at the last minute. So I guess I don't even have a therapist anymore. And I guess that's ok for now. I don't want any more of whatever that was. Since that is the only place my insurance will cover, I'm out.
@telepariah --
Sounds like she went off her meds. :shocked: :laughing:

Seriously -- you might have hit close to something *she* was still dealing with in her own life? Rare, but I suppose it could happen.
 

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I think they call it counter-transference?
@telepariah -- that, or you're a hawt stud.
No bromance, but I've seen girls lose their head over a guy before -- the mental and emotional gyrations are a wonder to behold.
 

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@telepariah -- that, or you're a hawt stud.
No bromance, but I've seen girls lose their head over a guy before -- the mental and emotional gyrations are a wonder to behold.
I don't like the implication that her gender and her incompetence as a therapist are somehow connected.
@telepariah Seems to me you're better off talking to yourself in the mirror than to her, if she's just going to project her own ideas onto you.
 

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I don't like the implication that her gender and her incompetence as a therapist are somehow connected.
@telepariah Seems to me you're better off talking to yourself in the mirror than to her, if she's just going to project her own ideas onto you.
@flashbangideals -- no disrespect meant; I'm just trying to grasp at straws to account for such unprofessional behaviour;
and sexual / romantic attraction does happen to be a strong enough driver that (on paper, in theory) it *could* account for it.

Lots of other everyday things could also account for it too, as you quite rightly corrected me.
 

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I've seen 3 in the past, from that I really enjoyed talking to one of them. It was really strange because we had really strange things in common, so I felt really comfortable telling him things. Almost like a parent but without any judgement.
I'm not sure what a therapeutic relationship is supposed to be like though, he was really nice and let me talk about things.
Sometimes he did weird things like eat while i was talking to him, which looking back was kind of annoying but he was old and reaching retirement so I can't say I took it personally...
It's funny, i called him a few months after to talk to him about something and he barely remembered me, but I guess it's because counselling is so one-way that you don't really have a "real" relationship with the person, they just sit and listen.
but overall I've had bad matches. I don't think there are bad counsellors (well they're rare) but there's always someone right for you.
 

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I've only been to see one counsellor. The guy who actually did my initial assessment seemed like an awesome dude, and I got along really well with him. He seemed genuinely interested in my issues and like an all around intelligent bloke with niche interests. My actual counsellor, though, didn't make much of an impression on me. She seemed very impassive and didn't really seem to understand what I was talking about, though she hid that fact behind her professional veneer. She was quite hard to read, and never gave me any suggestions that I hadn't already thought of myself. Considering the kind of waiting list I had to endure just to get seen, I was very disappointed. Frankly, most of my friends were far more helpful to talk to than she was, but I don't like burdening my friends with my problems for too long.
 
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Discussion Starter #20
I appreciate the input from everyone! I am probably going to go ahead and seek a therapist once again. I have an idea of what I want to accomplish from my counseling and hopefully that will help the process move quickly. I also believe I already know the answers I just need some confirmation, and a mental health professional should be able to give me that. Who knows, maybe I'll get a whole new set of tools to put in my mental tool box :).
 
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