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So, I've been told quite a bit that I don't have a "dark side", or at least I'm not acquainted with it myself and may be repressing it subconsciously. To be honest, I don't really understand... I feel that at my core I am good and pure, so what am I not seeing here? Am I wrong to think that I don't have a dark side?

INFPs, what is your relationship with your dark side? And what do you define "darkness" to be? I want to hear your own personal beliefs.

(and if you're not an INFP, it's okay, I want to hear from you too :crazy: )
 

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Darkness, to me, is feeling undaunted by certain acts that are less socially acceptable (in some cases, just openly). This can extend further from actually finding comfort in it, or even pleasure.

For example, I consider myself very respectful to women, I'll always take care of a bill (even if I don't know them well), hold doors, smile, compliment, whatever. I'll never look at girls on the street like a piece of ass, but that doesn't mean I don't find them alluring as well.

In the bedroom, I'm the complete opposite though. I'm a total dirty talker, I can be very aggressive, I can leave bite marks, bruises and just a multitude of twisted fantasies. In general, I'll tear down all their walls and see if I can turn them into some sort of lustful beast. To me, that's a darker side.

Other things, death doesn't bother me (it happens), blood, general crime scenes, disturbing things on the news (my few exceptions are often unaired), autopsies, and so forth. I also have no qualms flirting with danger, I've had death threats against me which I laughed at. Lastly, I have no qualms thinking certain things. Whether it be admitting to certain acts, or even thoughts. That's life.

I wouldn't say I'm a monster for it because I have reasons for everything, usually good reasons too. The problem is, people sometimes don't care about those reasons. Hence, why it's referred to as the darker side -- it makes most people uncomfortable.
 

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I know I'm good person with love to spread but I've had thought,done,experienced "dark stuff". I guess it's like when folks talked about aw you know shit like sex,drugs, and rock n roll I just felt like I had to experience it. What is dark?Satan,demons,war,hate,drugs,sadness,NWO,Chris Angel? Fuck, i don't know. I've known some crazy fools who had not the Light,which is knowledge,but where full of ignorance that led them to do shitty petty dark shit.Sometimes I laugh when there's a fucked up scene playing in a movie.I like to watch horror movies.So, I don't know I would say yes I'm attracted to dark stuff. As you can see, I've been making peace with death cause lately It's the only thing I'm sure of this days. MEMENTO MORI
 

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An accomplice, INFP too I think, and I planned to murder a stranger once. And I've always had violent fantasies. All I really yearn for is to be cornered and threatened, to the point where all hopes of a peaceful solution have died, so I can see just how much I'm capable of and hopefully injure myself in the process. It's weird. Always aiming for the best while hoping for the worst.
 

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darkness for me is hopelessness. When i lose hope that there is no good in myself or in other people, the whole world seems like a very cold and lonely place. That is the darkness i usually refer to.

As for the darkness that some infps fear that they have (such as being violent, enjoying pain inflicted on others, etc.) i believe it to be a consequence of our approval seeking lifestyle. I base a lot of my opinions on what is socially acceptable and "normal". If i take away that need to be socially accepted, then what am i? I feared that i might be a serial killer or a rapist if i was brave enough to be unaffected by my social awareness, but i know better now.

We serve humanity, and that is why we continuously change ourselves to suit the needs of others. To remove our social awareness and question what we would be is the same as asking what a man would be without his morals. It isn't a fair question because our social awareness is the heart of who we are.

Dunno if that made much sense..
 

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Darkness to me is hard to explain but I use a very oftenly but not fully.
It's a change in behaviour triggered by negative actions and emotions, I get Rough, Strongly competitive, Revengeful, Sharp tongue, Risk taking and more likely to do dangerous things mainly from a loss of a fear to stop a bigger fear from actually happening, Usually when protecting something/someone I care for. Very rebellious, outbursts of anger or crying, sometimes both and a lot of other things...

So really Darkness to me or "the dark side" is Negativity in emotions and actions taking over, Even if it's for a good cause.
 

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I've always had a very dark side. Like I said in another thread, various professionals have been very concerned about how much I am into macabre and violent things. You know, I really love horror films and things, I'm into martial arts, I love video games, etc. Women tend to seem to think I have a somewhat dark, dominant sexual energy. You know, like a panther in the shadows. I tend to have desires to hurt people, especially men who mistreat women, and I used to have a serious problem controlling my anger and physical aggression, though I'm pretty good at self-control these days.
 

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At the age of 16 to just recently... I've been in complete and utter darkness. I did a drug, had premartial sex when I didn't even felt ready at the moment, ran around with "bad news" kids, self-injured myself over 30 times, and had recurring thoughts (and even almost performed) acts of suicide.

Things are looking up for me, though... I am learning to love myself, to forgive myself and my past, to realize that as a human being, I deserve the right to make and learn form my mistakes. I learn to forgive other people, to let go of the past, and to move on foward in a healhty manner. I am starting to see the true beauty in people, and I'm starting to feel a light flicker on inside of me... I feel genuine, pure happiness inside of me. :blushed:
 

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Darkness to me is the potential to become anything I haven't ventured yet; depths of a trade, knowledge boundaries I haven't broken, fears I haven't conquered, restrictions I could let go of... To me it's the action that can or can't be, if I allow it to become that way. It can and always will be present, until the day I die.

It's formed into my shadow, and shows itself when I am weak. Mentally weak, I retreat into my extroverted mask (loud and rowdy for what could be seen as obvious reasoning now), but emotionally aware at the same time; or emotionally weak, which puts me in a vulnerable state around others, and a spacy state when I'm by my self.


That's my darkness. Hope this helps, Windswept Sky & ForsakenMe.
 

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I have a dark side I suppose.
To me, my dark side would be when I only think negatively.
Just like ForsakenMe, I used to self injure a lot and think about suicide all the time starting when I was like, fourteen. Also, I'd lash out at my family for the stupidest things.

but it's better now. I think more positively. I hardly ever think of suicide as an option anymore and the self injury has gone down from doing it every single day almost to doing it only when I feel completely desperate. and I have more patience with my family.
I used to think being "dark" was cool. Like it was different and I was special.. but now I'm glad to be getting rid of those ideas.. Being happy is so much better.. that should be obvious probably. But somehow I didn't think of it until recently.
 

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Darkness...well, sometimes, I laugh at things I really shouldn't be laughing at. And during my darker moments I tend to be cold and unforgiving. Doesn't help that I'm generally a negative thinker. A few people have called me a masochist; at first I never thought of myself as one, and now it grows on me. Rational thinking goes out the window, and I tend to channel my negative emotion first before anything.

Eh...I can give a better description but for some reason, it's not coming to me.

My relationship with darkness...well, it's there, it's not like I can completely purge the thoughts or actions. It's apart of me, and therefore I can handle it.
 

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I've always been drawn to broken and discarded things... I visit cemeteries simply because I'm fascinated by them...my friend and I do a tour of all the old cemeteries in Los Angeles every year. Going to the Mütter Museum is on my list of things I must do before I die... I love dark, dreary, Gothic architecture, one of the reasons I love Europe so much. I'm fascinated by history and it's brutal past. I feel other peoples pain, sometimes I wish I could even take it upon myself for them so they could be happy... I can be in a perfectly happy mood blaring some Joy Division or The Cure in the background.. I love twisted and morbid art... I guess in my world that's my "darkness".
 

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I have a dark side. I think we all do. I have to let it come out to play sometimes or it will break out and cause trouble. The trick is let it play a little but often but not for long periods. I want to tire it out but not let it gain strength. Keep it in a weakened state and I can keep it under control while making it think it is on control.
 

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The darkness in my character results from the difference between who I am and who I want to be and the constant battle to resolve the two.
 

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*takes off the 3 vertical lines off the E in ENFP* I used to have a darkside I used to have problems with many things family friends people and the world around me. I hated life wish everything would end went into a state of depression. I had sex at a 14 lost all my values lost faith and most of all lost myself. One day I ran away from home I hopped from house to house. One day I was homeless I slept In a park. I was cold and hungrey. Someone came out of no where a beautiful face if a young lady in her 20s. She drove me to her house and took care of me for a day. I found out she was a youth counselor. She told me aboutbher stuggles when she was my age. I knew she wasn't lying with all of her scars. She told me try to smile. I did and a couple days later made myself a new set of friends. They also helped me though hard times. They told me one day to help then with community service. Since they helped me I decided to help the community back. I loved it. Making people smile gave me a warm feeling. The firefighter I was helping with at the toy drive told me I would make a great firefighter one day. I went to occupational school for firefighting and medical services. One day I did a ride along for a domestic violence victim. I saw the sadness in the womens eyes. After we brought her to the hospital I reflected on my life and realized how much life was worth living. Now I'm a much happier person with excellent inspirational skill to help others. I'm finishing EMT school this winter and decided that I need to help others and make the world a better place one person at a time.
 

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This is an incredibly interesting thread, and some very interesting responses.

I consider myself a pretty dark person. I'm usually pessimistic, very anxious, and sometimes I would like to die. I'm scared a lot of times, sometimes irrationally. Sometimes it hinders my ability to "get ahead" in life. I just feel like the world is a sad place and what for?

I also have a dark sense of humor. I like "black comedies" and very twisted comedy (Tim and Eric Awesome Show, anyone?).

Because of my pessimism and intense anxiety, I'm often a pretty self-destructive person.

I rarely have violent thoughts, however. But I do have a wretched temper. I break things and I can be physically violent in the worst cases when I'm just that mad. This is rare, though. And I've had episodes of strange thoughts while laying with a lover that he would cover my face and suffocate me, or I would do it to him, or something to that effect. But these are rare; violence is not really something I experience whether in thought or in action.
 

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At the age of 16 to just recently... I've been in complete and utter darkness. I did a drug, had premartial sex when I didn't even felt ready at the moment, ran around with "bad news" kids, self-injured myself over 30 times, and had recurring thoughts (and even almost performed) acts of suicide.

Things are looking up for me, though... I am learning to love myself, to forgive myself and my past, to realize that as a human being, I deserve the right to make and learn form my mistakes. I learn to forgive other people, to let go of the past, and to move on foward in a healhty manner. I am starting to see the true beauty in people, and I'm starting to feel a light flicker on inside of me... I feel genuine, pure happiness inside of me. :blushed:
that is encouraging to hear :happy:
 

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My life definitely used to be much more darker than it is today, but I still have some of the same issues and anger. For me it started with seeing the negative side of the human race. I felt rejected and hurt for being different, and I began to look for unfairness everywhere. I felt validated when I found it, that people didn't love each other for who they were but rather for what they could give each other. I became very pessimistic and cynical. I saw that people were selfish and mean. I watched good people get treated like crap due to superficial things they had no choice over, like burn scars on a nice girl's face. Not only did guys reject her, they hated her for arousing sentiment in them. Even an idealist like myself couldn't overlook her disfigurement, at least not at that age, and that's what hurt the worst. I knew I rejected her because she was burned, and I hated myself for it. I was just as evil and unfair as everyone else.

I watched ex-girlfriends get back together with guys they had told me horror stories about. I heard my friends brag about sleeping with girls that they despised. I saw that people were full of lies, they even lied to themselves about who they were. I labored to be genuine and loving, and hoped that I would be appreciated and accepted for it. I found that girls wouldn't respect my sincerity and good will, because I wasn't acting like a 'man'. I was told that I was the kind of guy they'd marry, not the guy they wanted to date (were attracted to). I watched girls I had fallen in love with get with malicious boys who would treat them miserably. I was ridiculed by other guys for being a ***, and found that girls felt the same way. I hated the game everyone played to get 'luv', and I tried to avoid taking part in it in every way. That way, when someone liked me, they wouldn't be liking my clothes or car, my money or my popularity; they'd be attracted to me. No one came close, my refusal to act like a dog looked to women like I wasn't man enough to bark.

Most of the things I hated had to do with being liked and loved by girls, because this was the way that I was hurt most early on. Being sensitive and insecure isn't a good combo for attracting girls, and the worse tragedy for a guy to endure is not being able to attract anyone. There aren't many 40 yr old women who stayed virgins despite not wanting to, there have been many men in history who never procreated. I thought I was defective, and I began to hate people who could play the part without hating themselves. They didn't just go along with the evil, they encouraged and permeated it. I hated everyone and everything, what's the point in it all if you aren't loved. In a world where love must be won, losers feel like the whole game should end. I wanted everyone to feel the same way I did, maybe then they would understand, and like me for who I was. Even today I am often angered by how shallow it all is, even girls I have loved told me they knew they wanted to be with me once they saw me with my shirt off.

My dark side was wanting all those winners to lose. I wanted to punish people for acting wrong, reject them like they had rejected me. I am still incredibly dissapointed in everyone, I want them to fail and be unable to succeed at being mean. I want the game to be fair, I want good to be rewarded. I am not ready to forgive...
 

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The darkness in my character results from the difference between who I am and who I want to be and the constant battle to resolve the two.
This is rather close to what I was going to say ...

To me, darkness is what lurks within us that we want to not be, but are -- that which we veil in shadow in attempts to hide, or suppress ... that which I feel we must learn to, if not accept, at least understand, if we hope to ever reconcile the difference between who we are and who we want to be ... can't change something whose very existence you deny, that you never allow into the light of day ... hence the term darkness ...

"A flower cannot bloom on the dark side of the moon."
 
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