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I think I just someone who is an ESFP, he took the test, but he said he wasn't sure on all of the questions - so his result could be skewed a little bit? He's awful at replying to any messages? But, once I get a hold of him he's all gung-ho to make plans? But, this is confusing since he won't reply or talk to me in between times when I see him. He always has an excuse as to why he doesn't reply and I have no way of telling if it's the truth or if he just doesn't want to hurt my feelings? If he wasn't interested in hanging out and being friends, wouldn't he just say that??
 

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^ In my experience, when ESFPs want to hang out with you, they tend to initiate it and make it happen. They tend to be very good about maintaining relationships that are important to them.

Is it possible he is ISFP? Introverts can seem confusing as we do like to socialize at times, but may not be so proactive about seeking it because we get rather absorbed in our internal world. It's easy for me to go weeks without calling someone & it not even occur to me :blushed:.
 

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Most of the time, I am quiet and calm with them. I often am in "healer" mode, listening to their problems, being sympathetic, and giving insight if asked for. I don't talk about myself much; as a result, many of my ESFP friends have complained that I am "guarded". They are a lot more open with their emotions than I am. At the same time, they seem content to rattle on about their lives & don't make much attempt to open me up.
Thing is, one notion about the INFP's is that when you try and get them to open up, you risk prying too much and making them withdraw further into their shells. But if you take the "laid back" approach and wait for them to come around, they get the impression - as you've mentioned here - that we don't really try to open them up.
 

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He does take jokes WAY too far, to the point of me believing him completely about something important and then saying "just kidding!" I think he just wants to see my reaction and how I would take something. It's like the boy who cried wolf though, eventually I won't believe anything and that's not the healthiest situation to be in a relationship.
That's one aspect that applies to me and my INFP. I sometimes enjoy freaking her out and then laughing at her over it. One time we were walking in the city and I mentioned to her that I had a question to ask her that was on my mind for a while (and I really did). But before I asked her the real question, I let an important pause build up before I turned to her and asked, with a straight face, "Will you marry me?" Her expression was PRICELESS.

He's extremely loving, always touchy, always needing to be in my space. Picking me up, playing with my hair, etc... He's the most affectionate person I have ever met in my life. As an INFP I had a LOT of issue with that at first, but I've grown to like it :)
.... yeah, that's me and my INFP, except I hope it didn't take her too much getting used to. o.o"

Another thing I had to get used to was being in constant contact throughout the day, every single day. That is, if we're not together which we normally are if not working. We've been together two months and he's already asked me to move in and talked about marriage. I think ESFPs are a bit impulsive (based off my guy) when they know what they want. He's admitted to me though that he sometimes regrets large purchases immediately after he gets something. (Hope he won't regret me right after we marry!)
Yeeeaaahhh, another ringer for us.

He's learned from life. "Street smart" he calls it, which he is. I think he has much more common sense than I do, and his reaction time is quicker because he doesn't over-think or have to stop to look something up. He just does it.
A slight ringer for me and her, as well. I have a habit of randomly chatting people up at times (which is how I met her ^_^), but she gets hesitant over so much as asking strangers for directions or which way the station is.

I honestly have to admit, I'm a little offended by OrangeApple's post, but that's more because of my own feelings than what she actually said. I want to ask if any other ESFP's have felt a little insecure over not being able to completely match their INFP; I know that sometimes I feel bad about not always being able to engage my INFP's intellectual side, even though she says that I have plenty of other qualities she loves. I know the INFP stereotypically sometimes expects too much, but even so, it tends to make me wonder if I'm good enough. =/
 

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Thing is, one notion about the INFP's is that when you try and get them to open up, you risk prying too much and making them withdraw further into their shells. But if you take the "laid back" approach and wait for them to come around, they get the impression - as you've mentioned here - that we don't really try to open them up.
Ah, well, fair enough. I've never claimed to NOT be difficult :p
 

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I think one of my best friends in middle school was an esfp, looking back...
I remember the first time we met, I was this totally introverted, serious, philosopher pre-teen, and she met me on the bus and just kept insulting me and getting in my private space! I HATED her so much I went home and wrote a furious story about her cruelty and lack of values xD But I don't know, she brought out all my crazy and soon we just had SO MUCH FUN. I've never laughed so hard with anyone. I remember we were in the gym supposed to be playing some sport, and normally with sports I would get so insecure and scared of being mocked, but she made me laugh so hard that I was on the floor dying of laughter and it hurt too much to get up. She was sometimes raelly offensive to me delicate sensitbilities, but I quickly learned to take it in stride because it was just part of her crazy approach. She'd say the most outrageous things and just me really loud and outgoing. We'd get in fights and talk and laugh til the point the teacher would kick me out the class and we were constantly being moved apart.

Can you tell I miss those moments?

We grew apart because she comes from a traditionalist relgius family (actually like Russian orthodox church) and I'm a liberal heathen, so at a certain point the groups we were seeking out (and she was/is pretty image cosncious) just drew us into separate spheres of life. WOnder how she's doing...In some ways I wish we could have remained friends, though it would not work, because I became the only person she'd tell her sensitive things too. They were normally out of public view but they did exist-- she was overweight and all of her sisters and cousins (large family almost all female for some reason) were very beautiful girls, a very iamge conscious family, and they would pick on her and though her religious values taught her one thing, she was also very horny & sexual and repressing that and then worried about her attractiveness. She would only confide these kinds of things with me... so I guess that was one benefit.

She wasn't any good for confiding MY things too though xD but I don't think that's what I needed at the time.
 

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^ In my experience, when ESFPs want to hang out with you, they tend to initiate it and make it happen. They tend to be very good about maintaining relationships that are important to them.

.

even if they have done the person wrong. they want the person around for the future!
 

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INFPs who have been in a relationship with ESFPs, what did you recognise as his signs of flirting? Sorry, I don't mean to hijack this thread.
 

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INFPs who have been in a relationship with ESFPs, what did you recognise as his signs of flirting? Sorry, I don't mean to hijack this thread.
From what I've seen, if an ESFP likes you, s/he will be there, in front of you, vying for your attention. Talking to you or, perhaps, juggling fire. Anything that might distract you. Then they'll probably try and get you to join in on some fun thing they're doing.
 

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I dated an ESFP for 6 years, there was a VERY strong connection. He was affectionate, fun, flirty, charming, always up for anything, life of the party. I loved all those things about him. But what I ultimately found too difficult to live with is the down side to the live-in-the-moment approach (always broke, unreliable), prolly my J is too strong to handle that, but maybe it would be easier for a P.
 

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From what I've seen, if an ESFP likes you, s/he will be there, in front of you, vying for your attention. Talking to you or, perhaps, juggling fire. Anything that might distract you. Then they'll probably try and get you to join in on some fun thing they're doing.
Naww crap. Okay thanks. ;)
 

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My closest friend is an ESFP. I just recently asked about his personality type recently and he took the quiz (when I ask someone to tell me their personality type it's usually a bonding type thing for me; I also feel like I can guess their personality more accurately and discuss them). I am strong in all areas of INFP, while he is weak in E (1% difference) and P (11%) while his S and F are both moderate.

Some things I do notice: he takes compliments in stride while I generally try to include others when complimented; I don't like hogging all the good feelings for myself. However, my ESFP friend always takes it in stride. If I say to him "you're so great and amazing and awesome" he'll generally just go along with the flow and move onto whatever next topic he feels like discussing. We are both very talkative with each other at least, though when we talk my ideas are more of a side-show and his the grand finale.

Sometimes he does say things that hurt my feelings and irritate me and when I express being upset he generally laughs it off. When he realizes I am sincere he is quick to apologize repeatedly - even when I tell him that it's fine and nothing of value was lost. He likes dragging me along for the ride and often demands my attention and I love giving it to him because we often have lots of fun doing simple things that others might think boring. We also talk about things that interest the both of us (he got me re-interested in Tamagotchi, while I hooked him on Animal Crossing - we both have a childlike mindset).

We are both secure enough to talk to each other about things that are troubling us. I feel like he is not as.. "healer" as I am, because while I'm giving him suggestions to improve his lifestyle and take his feelings out on something else, he generally only makes statements such as "oh my" "i'm sorry" and "i don't know what to say". I find him very serious and dedicated to his studies, while I am very childish and I tend to drift between a lot of different subjects.

It is kind of exhausting at times because he often says that we'll get together and then cancels at the last second, leaving me hanging.

But he's fun to be around and we're both very alike, so it works out well c: one of the best friends i've had.
 

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I'm an INFP who's been dating one for over 2 months. Firstly, allow me to say that I believe his intuitive side is almost equal to his sensing side because we DO have several philosophical discussions, and even though I feel that I think a lot more than he does sometimes, it seems like he can understand 100% of the time and respond 90%. I love horror and the supernatural, and got the impression he did also but only because he listens to me talk about it so well and indulges me. In reality, he is a lot more hands on and practical than I am, but is very, very accepting. However, he does embrace spirituality, and reads and writes a lot about it. I think it's because he's a Pisces (I'm a Scorpio and, yes; into astrology,) but I'm guessing he has a more logical explanation. He loves playing + watching just about any kind of sport but he doesn't follow any strict workout routine. I played some bag toss game with him once and he was big on encouragement, and then tried to train me afterwards so I'm guessing he has a big competetive streak. He doesn't talk a lot about his problems and says he lets his actions speak for him. And he always likes to hug girls and be goofy with everyone else. He isn't as superficial with me byfar but sometimes I have to wonder who's responsible for that, if not both or neither of us. As far as messing around goes, I think I've become more insistent on it whereas he says his favorite thing to do is just lay there holding me and falling asleep like that. It is awesome and I think I need to keep my mind less on sex, if possible, because I've always been interested in it and, again, it could just be my sign. Lastly, he gives a lot of pet names which I, maybe regretfully, have become addicted to..it might be kind of sick and I don't understand it -_- but I love when he calls me things like Sweetheart, Baby, Good Girl, etc. I can't tell if I have some father complex or not o_O I just know that, overall, he gives off to me this really warm, calming, self-assured and practically undescribable aura. I don't want to say he's in charge but in some way, he is, because I start to feel like I want that peaceful, almost holy affirmation. I think that, deep down, he's more spiritual than I am. But maybe it's all in my head. I just know that it feels amazing and, I want to say, safe. That's it ^^ Thanks. I hope it helps some.
 

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Just a few questions for the small minority of ESFPs that reside in this forum.

How do you view INFPs?
Have you ever met one?
Did you ever get along?
What did you converse about?


I have a friend (ESFP) who is 2 years younger than me and we get along pretty well.
I fell in love with an INFP and married her. She is a very giving person -- she'd do almost anything to help someone else out (maybe that's why she married me). She likes giving gifts when she can see someone really needs them, and she works as a Personal Support Worker. She is funny, and actually quite talkative with friends when they are speaking in their first language of Korean. One of the biggest problems that we have is when I am having fun and joking and she is too sensitive, taking it all personally when it's not meant that way. We tend to talk a lot about extended family life, religion (we're both Christians, but of different denominations), and cultural differences whenever they arise.
 

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IT is so nice to read your posts, thank you for sharing :)
 

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I had an ESFP friend. She was so laid back that my INFPness didn't feel threatened :) She always had something funny to say. I would usually respond in a way that surprised her. I was probably even more N in those days than I am now. We enjoyed each other's company, so we were close, but never really understood each other. In a way, it didn't really matter though. :)
 

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infp with esfp mom here 🙋 we get along quite well nowadays, but when i was younger i got often frustrated and a bit confused with her. i've noticed we bond over our Fi, and i love that she is so easygoing and tolerant about my life and friends. my friends all love her quite a lot, since she is a bit unconventional in her ways and not at all like the rest of my friends' parents. my sense of humor comes from her pretty much, but i notice that i get mainly frustrated when she doesn't seem to get the big picture and she's prone to make decisions in a whim, and that results in her often having to ask other people for money or favors. when i'm trying to tell her this, she doesn't listen and does what she wants anyway (Fi kicking in or...?) at times i can feel like the mature one in our family (something my brother and i often complain about).
i also think i have one esfp friend (i haven't told her to do the test but i'm pretty sure she's one) and i get along with her very well. we've known each other practically our whole lives, ever since we were 2,5 years old. (idk if this reply is at all relevant + i'm reviving a 2013 thread (sorry bout that) but anyway here goes)
 
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