[IllBeBach]

I got the idea for this thread when I was on vacation to Kansas City last week. I myself have never really believed in the idea of "love at first sight," nor have I experienced it, contrary to a lot of people I know claim. Typically for me I am never really emotionally attached to someone unless I have been in a relationship with them for a long time. That was not the case on this trip. I had that love at first sight phenomena for the first time. I was at a bowling alley with my friend in Kansas City and we met a girl our age and played with her. Although we had not talked to her extensively, it felt like there was a strong connection between me and her like I have known her for a long time. This attraction wasn't necessarily physical, she wasn't drop dead gorgeous, she was an average looker, but for some reason I started to have strong emotion towards her despite how little I knew her, and I felt like she was feeling the same. However we had to leave to go back home. It was a powerful experience, but it is rather embarrassing for me to talk about because I don't typically believe in this kind of thing.

So INFPs, have you had phenomena like this? Do you believe in the phenomena of "love at first sight?" Have you experienced it?

 

[behoopd]

Can't say I have. I think love at first sight should be relabeled "lust at first sight", personally. My longest relationship was two years, and I didn't even know he existed before, really. It was only when we started talking that I liked him.

 

[Klarity Belle]

Yup I have had an experience of love at first sight,it was my last partner. This sounds ridiculous but we met at the top of a mountain on skis - I took one look at him and a voice in my head said 'that's him'. I followed him down the piste with a rush of love chemicals to the brain. We ended up together that week and continued the relationship after the holiday - we lasted 18 months.

The relationship was a disaster but it got me into therapy and dealing with some deep unresolved grief i've been heaving around - it is more a case of I got what I needed and not the fantasy I wanted. I do believe the chemical reaction is a kind of intuitive thing though - that this person could be important to my life as opposed to pure lust - for me it was not about lust it was more a feeling of spiritual connection. I still love my x but we are not in contact and there is no way we could possibly be together in the future.

 

[behoopd]

[...] Igot what I needed and not the fantasy I wanted.

That's how my last relationship ended. I clung so hard to the fantasy of what I wanted that I ignored all the red flags and kept trying to convince myself that everything was good when in my own journal I was questioning things (when I read old entries).

 

[android654]

Love at first sight? That implies that love exists. Can of hard to recognize that one even when its been around you for a long time, let alone upon first meeting.

 

[cappuccinocool]

I used to believe in love at first sight. But those beliefs usually came with an erection so it had me questioning myself: Do I really love her or do I just love the way she makes me feel?

 

[Klarity Belle]

Behoopd, I have done this a lot and not just in romantic relationships but within friendships and family relationships too - minimize the bad behaviour towards me, hurt etc all in an effort to hang onto which ever fantasy I have created. Thankfully I am learning to become a lot more real, I have developed boundaries to protect myself against poor behaviour and say no a lot more now than I used to. I feel much more authentic than I was and have been working through a lot of stuff in therapy - it sure helps :happy:

 

[JerseyDevil]

I fall in infatuation and fantasy that might appear to be love at first sight. Like most guys might look at a girl and hope for a one night stand, I look at a girl and think about what she might be like and what life would be like with this person I'm creating in my mind.

Don't get me wrong, I think about sex as much as every other guy too, my fantasies just go to a deeper level. But I never confuse that for love. I think love at first sight it is possible after you hear about couples who married their high school sweethearts and 50 years later they talk about how they knew that was the one for them, but I don't think it happens often or is that probable.

 

[behoopd]

Behoopd, I have done this a lot and not just in romantic relationships but within friendships and family relationships too - minimize the bad behaviour towards me, hurt etc all in an effort to hang onto which ever fantasy I have created. Thankfully I am learning to become a lot more real, I have developed boundaries to protect myself against poor behaviour and say no a lot more now than I used to. I feel much more authentic than I was and have been working through a lot of stuff in therapy - it sure helps :happy:

Yeah, it would have been a lot less of a rip-my-heart-out breakup had I been more assertive and not let him make me feel like I'm the one with the problems. As much as I want to say he took advantage of my gullibility (is that a word? gullibleness?), I can't without putting a little bit of blame on me (which I know I shouldn't; I know I'm awesome).

Slowly working on making people work for my trust instead of giving it to them and trusting them not to hurt me.

Therapy is god, it's helped me so much in the past

 

[ptarmigan]

I fall in infatuation and fantasy that might appear to be love at first sight. Like most guys might look at a girl and hope for a one night stand, I look at a girl and think about what she might be like and what life would be like with this person I'm creating in my mind.

Don't get me wrong, I think about sex as much as every other guy too, my fantasies just go to a deeper level. But I never confuse that for love. I think love at first sight it is possible after you hear about couples who married their high school sweethearts and 50 years later they talk about how they knew that was the one for them, but I don't think it happens often or is that probable.

I would expect that they were probably similar, in that they felt infatuated at the time and it developed into a lasting, loving relationship. Infatuation is great and it's really to me a critical part of a relationship with someone I would want to spend my life with, because it just means you have a vision or dream of a loving future together. In moderation and with care and compassion, it can be a very good thing.

In reply to the OP, yes, I have felt this many times, although it may not be strictly right away. It can just appear in a moment of awareness ... if that still counts to you.

 

[Darkestblue]

I fall in infatuation and fantasy that might appear to be love at first sight. Like most guys might look at a girl and hope for a one night stand, I look at a girl and think about what she might be like and what life would be like with this person I'm creating in my mind.

Don't get me wrong, I think about sex as much as every other guy too, my fantasies just go to a deeper level. But I never confuse that for love.

This guy hit the nail on the head for me. I suspect it's my need for an emotional connection with a woman before I can truly see her as attractive.

 

[Blackbird]

Not love at first sight, but connection at first conversation, yeah. It's not worked out for me thus far, but I've met some great people.

(I tend to think there is this capacity for instant connection between NFs. Even possibly FP's. I've liked people instantly and felt like I could relate to them, and they've turned out to be an NF or an FP. Makes sense because NFs see the world in similar ways, and I enjoy spontaneous people, which Ps are.)

 

[Whimsical]

I probably have come across this phenomena once, close enough. I had this intense connection to this stranger on the train whom I would see on some afternoons - there was something peculiar about him that I couldn't pinpoint. Of course, he was just a stranger so I could never approached him. And I just pretended he never existed. Unexpectedly, he came up to me one day and we clicked instantly, exchanging our e-mails. Many weeks after, it turned out to be a misfortune. It could be purely lust or there was a some sort of connection between us - I'm just going to leave it there and I'll never know.

 

[sensei.of.slow]

love at first sight ,o yes, it exists.

and there is also a heightened form of it:
falling for him (like it's brand new) every single damn time i see him. what a drain on the adrenaline.

 

[Disfigurine]

I've never believed in love at first sight, imo it is bollocks.
Sorry if that offends anyone, but that's just what I think.

I believe in infatuation at first sight. Lust at first sight.

Yes, you can feel an instant attraction or familiarity or connection right away.
That doesn't mean it is destiny blah blah blah.



Love is more than just a feeling, anyways.

 

[starflower]

Love at first sight, yes. And it doesn't have to be romantic love, though it can be. All love requires work, though, and just living off of fantasy will disappoint any relationship, "destiny" or not. But, yes, I believe in connections, love - all that just happen - because I've had those things happen for me.

I also believe in infatuation at first sight, which is what a lot of people seem to experience when they see a pretty girl or gorgeous guy, and then they just assume that anyone who talks of love at first sight is talking of their own experience of infatuation at first sight.

 

[Vivid]

I'm quite the romantic, having lived with myself for so long and finally realizing it. >__>

I believe there is infatuation at first sight, lust at first sight. If love at first sight existed, well then I'd be in love with everything I've felt some form of attraction to. You know?

Love takes time and weathering to prove stable. That's why I think it's absurd to say you love someone you're dating after, like, a week. It's just basically saying "I lust after you" or "I am infatuated with you"

 

[thecaterpillar]

I believe in love at first sight, but not in the form that most people think of when they hear that expression.

I am a very intuitive person and can read a person easily, sometimes without ever hearing them speak. There have been two "loves" in my life. For both of them, I knew it instantly.

The first was my very first serious boyfriend in high school. I met him at work. We didn't go to the same school at the time. He walked in while I was working. Yes, he was very good looking, but it wasn't because of that. I saw his goodness immediately. He was the most incredible human being I have ever know. We loved each other fully and completely. We were destined to be together for the four years we were blessed to have with one another before he passed away. He absolutely changed my life. I wouldn't be alive today had it not been for him. And if I were alive without him, I wouldn't be who I am. I'd be a shell of myself. He was my angel.

The second was my husband. He said I saw him once before I saw him for the first time in my POV. He said he was checking out my butt, I saw him, and I gave him a dirty look. That's very possible. But, what I remember is seeing this big lug talking to a guy I was dating at the time. I saw this man that seemed to be a great person, just by looking at his face and body language. When we'd go out with the same group of people and I was dating the other guy, I couldn't stop looking at him. Watching him. Wanting to talk to him, but being too shy to do it. It wasn't because he was cute. He was cute, but he wasn't even my "type" at the time. I was just fascinated with who I felt he was. And I was right. I love him more than life. I always will. It took a while for us to get together, but when it happened, it was strong.

Call it love at first sight or call it intuition. I believe it exists, but you have to know what it is. Inside, you know when it's lust and when it's love, but you have to be willing to be honest with yourself. That's all on you, not on the actual "thing". And love truly does exist, but you have to be open to it. You can't ever see anything that you don't believe in.

 

[majestic beauty]

love at first sight,

nah it's usually called lust or infatuation, and this doesnt always pertain to the physical apperence, you can be in lust or infatuation with someones voice, walk, speech anything, love is a whole diffrent level and in understanding the diffrence now i guess i have never really been in Love.

i can relate to "jersey devil" on this one. I am in love at first sight with an idea and how that idea can grow, not the person, i can create a whole life with someone in my head without even really knowing them. I do that with celeb guys all the time, i'll create famlies with these men fun things the two of us do together, but i mean it's not really love it's just the love of the idea they put in my head.

I've done this in past realtionships which isn't really a good thing, it makes it harder to let go once its over because i actually think i love them when all along i was in love with the idea of them.

So no, i dont believe in love at first sight, its a nice ideal though :tongue:

 

[kenpo1980]

I don't know that I have had the experience of love at "first sight" but being in my 40s I can say that I have had several situations of an immediate connection with a person with only a very brief interaction. And while this can be chalked partly up to physical attraction I don't think this completely explains it because every day I see, and interact, with women who are physically attractive. I just know that when it has happened to me in the past I am usually in a very open state emotionally.