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kenpo1980
I don't know that I have had the experience of love at "first sight" but being in my 40s I can say that I have had several situations of an immediate connection with a person with only a very brief interaction. And while this can be chalked partly up to physical attraction I don't think this completely explains it because every day I see, and interact, with women who are physically attractive. I just know that when it has happened to me in the past I am usually in a very open state emotionally.​
Yes, I agree about the being in a very open state emotionally. For me, the phenomenon happened while traveling alone in a totally new country (fwiw I think he was ISFP). "Love at first sight" can be a very powerful experience if the attraction is undeniably mutual. If unreciprocated, it is just another silly crush, which is nothing unusual for me and totally forgettable. When it's mutual, though... I don't think any drug could compare with how exciting and addictive it is.
 

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I don't believe in love at first sight, at least not love to the extent which I have recently discovered it is possible to feel love for another person. I can be incredibly curious, drawn to, or be attracted to another person, but none of those are love, at least not as I have come to experience it.

I agree with what @JerseyDevil had mentioned about noticing someone interesting and then playing through the possibilities, the what-ifs. I do this daily, both while awake and while asleep. I will come up with dozens of scenarios of friendship, love, hate, true romance, bittersweet endings, and even death, all based on something about a person that caught my eye. And those are just the daydreams based on reality. I've tended to become infatuated with the ideas or potentials that I can see, sometimes missing the person entirely. It's brilliant and fun and keeps my imagination running, but... the disappointment that comes from realizing that this person could never live up to my expectations for him/her... disheartening.

Luckily, I've a poor memory and so I continue to fantasize and wonder and allow myself to dream to my little heart's desire. One of these days, I'll find the person who won't disappoint me and who won't be disappointed in me and we'll find our happily ever after, even if took a bit more work than love at first sight. We'll also be stronger for it too.
 

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The idea of love at first sight creeps me out, honestly. Lust or attraction, sure....but not love. If someone claimed to be (seriously) in love with me at first sight, I would feel quite uncomfortable, and would have to assume that the other person's definition of romantic love is miles from my own.
 

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I don't want to be one of the people on the forums who constantly posts about how much he is in love with another person on here, but I feel compelled to respond now that this topic is back and people are thanking my post or referencing it.

When I wrote that, I was trying to justify in my head that what I was feeling for @laurachanelle was just infatuation because of various things going on for both of us.

The truth is though I've been in love with her since I first saw a post she made, before we even spoke to each other once. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew she was amazing from the start and she has done nothing but prove me right for months now. I'm not just saying this to be cute or hit on her either, I just felt it was appropriate to add this on to what I said earlier. I do still feel it is uncommon, but maybe that is what makes it so special.

:happy:
 

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I don't believe in love at first sight unless you can see into that person's soul.
You may have just uncovered the secret that so few in this world have ever been privy to... Now I must think on this again... how the soul, not just the mind and body and heart, changes the dynamics and perhaps does create that one in a million bond.
 

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Lust at first sight, yes. Love at first sight? Mmm... I like to believe in it, but I don't think it can happen ?
If you have experienced love at first sight, I think you must be really good at reading people in general.
You must also be pretty happy with your Self too. I like to believe that it can happen. :)
 

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I don't know about love at first sight. I definitely believe in connecting with someone at first meeting. I would assume an immediate connection that developed into love could appear to have been love at first sight in retrospect.
I think that in order to love someone you must first get to know them on a personal level which is obviously impossible at first sight.
It's a lovely concept to think about, Knowing immediately that you loved someone but to me Just loving someone seems like enough.
 

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I've had two instant one-sided connections. Physical attraction was part of the first, stronger time. Both were in intense, kind of novel circumstances. Both people came across as trapped, misunderstood, and emotional. The first one clearly was headstrong; with the other, there were signs of that. The second person was downright weird. I never developed a real connection with person A. With person B, it took years for something possibly fleeting to happen, due to some degree of initial repulsion. Person B in fact is very stubborn, and my initial impressions of both proved correct. Just to make clear, I felt the way I did because I related strongly to them, and I immediately cared.

I think it would be interesting to turn this around and ask if any INFPs here have been the subject of "love at first sight" or instant connection and if so, was that looks-based?
 

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Seems like one of those things that might happen once or twice in one's lifetime. Hasn't happened to me yet, but I'm not exactly old at 20. Love's not something you can rationalize, so I'm not one to try and rationalize why love at first sight is impossible.
 

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i usually have to tell myself to "calm down" when I meet a nice guy. Especially when he's attractive. LOL I'm usually the type that looks at personality, before looks. Do I think he is the one for me...I dunno its fairly new, however, I don't believe WOMEN have this trait because it takes us awhile to let love sink in. It seems like MEN are the ones to have this sense first.
 

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I believe in love at first sight...you just have to get lucky.
 

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I'm attracted to almost any woman thats decent looking! :laughing:

I get very fluttery.

Way I see it there are three Judges in my head.
The head.
The heart.
And the loins.

You win over at least two of these, and Zing! I'm attracted to you for at least a month (sometimes longer if I know you better, or I REALLY like you! :crying:)

I'm not saying you have to wow them either, just enough to get a positive score! (Like a 7.0 :laughing:)
 

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Of course I've been drawn to someone's apprearance or vibe, but any impression after that has been supplemented by other stuff about them.

When I was younger I would see guys I found attractive, find out he was smart, philsophical, socially charming, or artistic and fall hard for this idea of him and his big brown eyes, but I never considered it "love" except in the sentimental, artistic sense, the way I love certain songs or something-- there wasn't any intimacy there and I never ever considered those kind of connections (because sometimes they were reciprocated for a while) "real love." Anyways, if I liked a guy's vibe or appearance or art and then he made a racist joke or other undesirable aspects I quickly forgot about my initial impression.

Then I got older and fell in love really hard and how scary it was and how it effected me kind of changed some things for me in my view of love. I didn't love this guy at first but I was interested in his thoughts. The second time I loved a guy, I tried not to love him and build in boundaries to our relationship-- I wanted sex and intimacy but I wouldn't go to "love stuff" or anything that smacked of 'attatchment' because I... was worried about the part when people come apart and people having different expectations. I wanted no expecations-- my idea of myself at the time was, "I'm just going to meet guys and flirt and have as many experiences, love, physical, whatever, as possible!" so I needed to be able to break from him and move on if need be. He told me he loved me our fourth date. Both times a guy has said they loved me they said it really really soon which really flustered me both times. I told him I would never love him xD At first I truly didn't love him, and then that progressed to me thinking I did not love him, and then one day I realized I loved him and told myself, "You can't tell him, you aren't ready to rock the boat- it's not fair cause once you say you love him he'll expect you to stick around and you'll get more and more attatched adn then you'll break his heart, and it's not fair cause you said you wouldn't and he backed off and then you changed your mind!" So that decision made, I saw him and we got intimate and then I stopped everything and he's like, "what's wrong?". I knew that I wasn't imagining or exaggerating love. I dind't think of it when he wasn't around or dream about it or fantasize-- I dind't build him up to be more handsome, unnattainable, or desirable than me-- he wasn't hard to reach. I loved him because he was gentle, present, real, funny, and loving towards me and the more I spent time with him the more I was shown all his dimensions. it was impossible for me to not come to love him. my heart felt queasy because I had not told him; I wasn't feeling that way because I wanted him to love me or because i wanted to love him, but just bceause my unconscious did love him and I needed to bring it into the air. So I said, "I need to tell you that I love you," and he says, "that's ok" and hugged me.
And then I grew to love him more and more.

The moral of this story is I told a guy that I would never love him and saw no chance of me loving him and then as I came to see his true self I loved him more genuinely than I've ever loved anyone.
In other words if love at first site exists, it is not as real as the other kind.

As I post this I begin to feel pretentious because my eight-nine month teenage relationship doesn't really qualify as standing the test of time material...
 

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Of course I've been drawn to someone's apprearance or vibe, but any impression after that has been supplemented by other stuff about them.

When I was younger I would see guys I found attractive, find out he was smart, philsophical, socially charming, or artistic and fall hard for this idea of him and his big brown eyes, but I never considered it "love" except in the sentimental, artistic sense, the way I love certain songs or something-- there wasn't any intimacy there and I never ever considered those kind of connections (because sometimes they were reciprocated for a while) "real love." Anyways, if I liked a guy's vibe or appearance or art and then he made a racist joke or other undesirable aspects I quickly forgot about my initial impression.

Then I got older and fell in love really hard and how scary it was and how it effected me kind of changed some things for me in my view of love. I didn't love this guy at first but I was interested in his thoughts. The second time I loved a guy, I tried not to love him and build in boundaries to our relationship-- I wanted sex and intimacy but I wouldn't go to "love stuff" or anything that smacked of 'attatchment' because I... was worried about the part when people come apart and people having different expectations. I wanted no expecations-- my idea of myself at the time was, "I'm just going to meet guys and flirt and have as many experiences, love, physical, whatever, as possible!" so I needed to be able to break from him and move on if need be. He told me he loved me our fourth date. Both times a guy has said they loved me they said it really really soon which really flustered me both times. I told him I would never love him xD At first I truly didn't love him, and then that progressed to me thinking I did not love him, and then one day I realized I loved him and told myself, "You can't tell him, you aren't ready to rock the boat- it's not fair cause once you say you love him he'll expect you to stick around and you'll get more and more attatched adn then you'll break his heart, and it's not fair cause you said you wouldn't and he backed off and then you changed your mind!" So that decision made, I saw him and we got intimate and then I stopped everything and he's like, "what's wrong?". I knew that I wasn't imagining or exaggerating love. I dind't think of it when he wasn't around or dream about it or fantasize-- I dind't build him up to be more handsome, unnattainable, or desirable than me-- he wasn't hard to reach. I loved him because he was gentle, present, real, funny, and loving towards me and the more I spent time with him the more I was shown all his dimensions. it was impossible for me to not come to love him. my heart felt queasy because I had not told him; I wasn't feeling that way because I wanted him to love me or because i wanted to love him, but just bceause my unconscious did love him and I needed to bring it into the air. So I said, "I need to tell you that I love you," and he says, "that's ok" and hugged me.
And then I grew to love him more and more.

The moral of this story is I told a guy that I would never love him and saw no chance of me loving him and then as I came to see his true self I loved him more genuinely than I've ever loved anyone.
In other words if love at first site exists, it is not as real as the other kind.

As I post this I begin to feel pretentious because my eight-nine month teenage relationship doesn't really qualify as standing the test of time material...
Doesn't matter. It was a beautiful story, and teenage relationships are as important IMO as those that occur later on. After all we all know the story of the high-school sweetheart. Which applies unless somehow one of the two was in high school until like 28 LOL. Maybe that's happened somewhere... Hmmm.
 

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Doesn't matter. It was a beautiful story, and teenage relationships are as important IMO as those that occur later on. After all we all know the story of the high-school sweetheart. Which applies unless somehow one of the two was in high school until like 28 LOL. Maybe that's happened somewhere... Hmmm.
Wellllll he wasn't in high school and I kinda was kinda wasn't... and he wasn't really a teenager either but just barely... hm... I was 17, he was 19 then 20..
 

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I don't believe in love at first sight, I believe in infatuation at first sight. But it can make things easier =D
 
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