[shoelaced]

I apologize (who me?) if this has been discussed already... I am a newb to this forum and haven't found anything in depth about it thus far.

Generally, as an INFP, how do you feel about small talk?

I, for one, cannot stand it.. I am not good at it and I would go so far as to say I hate it. What about you? I feel like this is one of the main social problems I have. I cannot fake it. I am expected to engage in it and I simply can't.. I can fake a lot of social norms that I don't necessarily prescribe to, but this is definitely not one of them.

 

[h4zmat]

I fake it, badly. I've always felt small talk was pointless and never really bothered, but now I work customer service so I'm sorta forced to.

 

[rowingineden]

Hate it, I can do it, but usually I seem to miss the mark on it. When I was younger (5-9 years), I would start a conversation with questions like, "Do you believe in God?" or, "So, do you think life has meaning? If so, what is the meaning?" And my peers would be like, "...So, then my Pikachu evolved!" or "So, I got ANOTHER hairbrush! Hehehehe!" (depending on if they were male or female) The problem is, I don't feel interested in or even qualified to speak on most subjects. I know other people don't care if they are ignorant about things, but I actually really do.

 

[Raichan]

It depends.

 

[rowingineden]

It depends.

WTF, that is so brief, it's like you're a J or somethin'!

 

[Raichan]

WTF, that is so brief, it's like you're a J or somethin'!

What??

I'm not deep in everything :tongue: :crazy: :crazy: *whistles innocently*

 

[Hammerhand]

Hearing people discuss cars, fashion or similar brain dead subjects make me want to blow my head off >.<

And being told by someone who they met this day, what funny things they saw, what clothes they are saving up for, gaaaaaaah.

Discussing politics, religion, music, games, psychology, people or similar, yes please.

These are pretty much the reasons I dislike family dinners.

Say something that at least is of SOME interest or please spare my ears (and sanity).

Edit: Or at the very least something that is RELATED to what we are doing at the moment. Discussing clothes while walking around shopping is fine, bringing it up while watching a movie is not.

 

[Sily]

When I am passing people in the hall at work, I love to smile and wave and sometimes there is time to talk about the latest weather alerts, car accident or policy change. For the people who stop by my office to talk... wow, that can range from news about their new car, new phone, latest recipes, Genghis Khan or the american occupation of the Phillipines -- it just depends on who comes in and what they want to talk about. At home, husband and I are usually making fun of people & laughing @ them.

So, all of the above examples, (weather, history, latest events) I do enjoy talking about and participating in, but not sure if that's *small talk*. I really like talking about the weather with people.

 

[Riy]

I don't like it and I won't fake it, So usually I get called "cold" when someone tries small talk with me ._.

 

[Windswept Sky]

I don't like it at all and I'm not very good at it.

Probably why I don't make friends very easily. Unless it's a mutual interest or something actually meaningful or interesting, I don't know what to say. When girls tell me about some shoes they bought for some really good deal I have no idea what to say. It probably doesn't sound like a good deal to me, either >_>; I really don't make many female friends...

This is part of why society annoys me. So many things are about surface-level communication. I have no problem with that, as long as it serves a purpose (like "Hey guys, it's raining"), but when people just randomly start going on about something trivial, I don't know how I'm expected to actually be able to communicate back sometimes.

That said I am actually interested in people! I like to have nice positive conversations with strangers at grocery stores or whatever, if somebody friendly talks to me. But I dunno, I find it really hard to relate with some people, especially through small talk.

 

[ForsakenMe]

I'm fine with small talk... Sometimes it's kinda awkward, though. :bored:

 

[Roze]

Hmmm, I can deal with small talk, I like to look at it a different way. Through small talk, I can learn more about a person based on how said person talks or the cues that they exhibit. It can also be enjoyable and fun!

I like to talk on a philosophical level much more, but at the same time, I feel it wouldn't be too healthy to completely ignore/refuse to take part in small talk.

 

[Shorttail]

Offline people don't talk to me much, so I don't find it bothersome. Online most people only really bother talking when they down or need help in some way. It does annoy me that I can't approach people when I don't have something solid to discuss with them though. =/

 

[PhotoBrew]

I also dislike and am not very good at small talk. It usually consists of something saying, "Hey how's it going?", and then I reply "Good, how about you?". But then, they really didn't care how I was doing anyways, and didn't intend for that to be a question. It was just another way of saying "Hi", so conversation ends.

Likewise, passing people in the hall is awkward. I feel the need to say "Hi" or at least acknowledgment them in some way. But it is just plain awkward. Especially the dreaded looooooonnnngg hallway. Oh man so weird.

 

[Maestro]

I find it harder to be the one starting the small talk.

When other people start it with me, I usually put my own spin on it that takes the conversation into an abstract wavelength. Most of the time, it's fun and humorous as the dialogue takes on unexpected twists and ironies. Or people just give me that 'look'. which I also find amusing.

 

[refugee]

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.

- Rudyard Kipling

Basically whenever I get into trouble, I just pull out these bad boys...

 

[JerseyDevil]

I prefer not to do it, I'm very OK with sitting in silence, but I'm not bad at small talk or anything. I used to be, but now I just act and go 'what would a normal person say?' and it kind of becomes a game to be someone normal for a bit, though I guess you could equally call it seeing how fake I can be while getting away with it :wink:

Sometimes I like to be brutally honest though just to see the reactions from people who were expecting small talk back, or if they are annoying me by going on too long something, then I'll say things that I know will make them no longer wish to talk to me.

 

[Rusalka]

Okay, well, see... I HATE IT. BIG LETTERS FOR EMPHASIS!

It can be fine to a point (such as with one person that you just met and believe their thoughts might be of some merit), but when you have to do it for days at a time with a bunch of different people in a new, awkward situation (such as moving in together on a floor at a college dorm), it makes me physically sick and I just get so disgusted I tend to turn off what little Fe I have and become kind of a bitch. If I think it's a waste of time to get to know you, I won't even engage you slightly in small talk unless TRAPPED (such as in an elevator) and you engage me first. I hate it so much, it's so incredibly pointless, and I know you don't give a shit about me, and I don't give a shit about you probably, so let's get on with our lives and skip this awkward social ritual :dry:. To add, I hate hearing small talk around campus, and that's all I really seem to hear. It's a shame, especially as the particular college I go to prides itself on intellectuality and academic superiority, etc. Sorry if I seem bitter; I had a bad experience the first week of college as a freshman, if you couldn't tell. :sad:

At the same time, I feel like I put a burden on people by constantly wanting to talk on a different level and not gossiping about the people on our floor or talking about who's hot, etc.. So I try to not talk that much, and really try hard to make small talk, but I suck so much at it, at least with people I don't know well.

 

[Aqualung]

I never liked small talk. People just yacking away because they think they're supposed to when they see each other. "Hey Fred I heard it might rain today." Yeah Joe I heard that too. I don't know, looks like it might." But it might not too." Yeah, ya never know. It looks like it might. Lookit them dern clouds over there. Comin' this way?" "Can't really tell. They might be, ya never know." "Yep." "Yep, it just might rain today...." AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! :angry: That drives me nuts. My dad's been doing that shit for 83 years. And he hates that I don't because it embarasses him.

 

[Darkestblue]

Small talk doesn't bother me much. I'll resort to it when I don't really have anything in common with the person I'm talking to.