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I wish to turn that topic around, despite the fact that it is annoying to be treated poorly, positive traits can be just as reducing and have dire consequences too (maybe more so). Mostly that old stereotype that INFPs are love machines: gentle, caring, blabla. It's impossible to live up to that stereotype really. People misunderstand us because of that. We might be pleasant to those who aren't close to us yet, but once they get there, boy are they in for a surprise. I think that's where the hate originally came from.

There's a lot of INTJs here, it's a bit like them being seen as the ultra smart know it all planning all possible outcomes before hand. That ends up being more of a disservice because any who doesn't stand up to that image is going to trigger the reaction: "See ! I told you those guys are a bunch of smart asses who really should better know their places in this world !"
 

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Does anyone find it disheartening how there are so many posts critical of INFPs online, and so very few that are positive? I was reading some threads on other sites/forums about how INFPs interact with other types,(last of which was this, on the INTJ site: Why don't INTJs like INFPs? - INTJ Forum which really wasn't even close to the worst of it) and I'm not gonna lie, it kinda hurt me a bit... I had no idea that people who had similar personalities to me were SO unappealing to others. I mean, I knew my personality type wasn't the coolest, flashiest or most popular, but the criticism is just SO MUCH and that thread isn't the best example. It also makes me worried that I'm inherently flawed when it comes to finding love and there is so much to overcome... I know type isn't everything, but there's an overwhelming trend between INTJs and ENFPs, and everyone likes INFJs, INFJs seem to be quite vocal in their dislike of us, and ENTJs don't seem to be particularly fond of us, so on and so forth. People are either 'meh' about us + often the best thing they can say is that we're 'harmless' or something. We don't register or we really piss people off. If there is something nice to say it's always 'oh INFPs are cool I guess, BUT ...' There's none of that soulmate relations trend that our other feelers seem to have. people say ENFJ but I NEVER seen an INFP-ENFJ relationship that has lasted. this all makes me wish i was a charismatic, bright ENFP or something.

I suppose this is a whiny post, but it's also not... it's more of an observation. In all my time perusing the forums, MBTI community on reddit, all separate personality sites, etc we are definitely the most vocally disliked while simultaneously being seemingly the most overlooked + perhaps disliked + deemed as useless in society. Additionally as a 4w5, I feel so alien. Has anyone felt this sense of alienation from the various communities, or re-affirmation of low self-esteem? It's been such a clear trend to me, and I'm surprised more people don't note it
Hum we had a similar discussion on the ENFP section posted by an INFP

http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/408122-whats-worst-thing-infp-can-do-enfp.html

I will cite what I posted in there, "Nothing. A person can hurt me not a type. This being said every INFP I've met are lovely and I enjoy their company."

This is the truth. If you find people caught up in the invisible letters above your head in a pessimistic unfavorable opinion then they're not worthy of your tenderness. I find you all to be beautiful creative individuals. You could also try to be responsive to other's opinions of your type and prove said aggressors of how amiss his/her opinions were of you in a positive way.

I also wouldn't say an INTJ had similar personalities to the INFP. I've known both and you don't seem a like. My words might sting, hurt, and wound an INFP more if I said them with the intent to insult. If I did that to an INTJ, I don't think I could hurt their feelings so easily unless I was the affection and love interest that they desired. If anything take away that knowledge from an INTJ, don't hand strangers the key to your graceful consciousness. You're the beautiful dreamer and idealist that brings such creations into the world. Writers, musicians, counselors, and teachers you have earned my respect as a personality type. How can I dislike a cousin that would help me paint the sky in all the shades I can think of?

I also don't find you whiny, everyone needs to express their woes to another ear. *hugs*
 

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Discussion Starter #23
To begin with I am not sure there is such a trend as infps being less liked than other types. I have not experienced that, and I am pretty vigligant about negative criticism. And as @yippy said, comments tend to be negative, especially on the internet I think. That I think is a trend.

About intj's in particular, aren't they generally pretty focused on effectivising and improving? Fixing? Perhaps they feel positive things about infps, but vocalise what they think needs improvement? For a romantic relationship, it might not be the most common, but I have seen infps write about relationships with intjs on this forum, that seemed happy, so it must be possible :) . Generally I think most people want a minimum level of similarity in a romantic relationship, especially if sharing a home, both for communication and habits matching each other decently. So it is only natural some types will be a more common fit I think, though all is possible (And taste is like the butt -divided. As the old saying goes).

In the linked thread about why intj's might hate infps there almost seemed to be a consensus that they didn't, as far as I read. One person said working together would perhaps not be great. I could see that perhaps, having pretty different approaches, but also complementing each other on the other hand, if the differences could be overcome. From my experience they have a more structured and clear thinking process than me, and more knowledge often, but more easily get stuck when something new arises, and I can come up with new solutions and ideas quicker, though often using their knowledge in the process "what about doing like that, could it work? is it possible to...?", thinking a bit broader.

I think @harpseal have a very valid point as well. It is not perhaps the most desirable thing to be liked by most (to me it is very important to be liked by a few, but as long as my closest(could do with a few more close ones though) like me, who cares about the rest?). It depends on why they dislike you I think. It is a valid question to ask why people don't like infps, if it is true, I think, perhaps there are things that need improvement. But perhaps there is a purpose to it, being uncomfortable. I have a book... Dangerous thoughts? think that was the title, which argues similar to harpseal I think, that you need to be uncomfortable to make significant change. It argues that people don't like the new, unfamiliar, new habits, new concepts... that our brains reward small new changes, but significant ones produce stresshormones. To be someone who dare be uncomfortable will bring on negative judgement from others. But it also serve an important role.
I appreciate your words, but as someone who goes on that INTJ site a lot, and here a lot, other individual personality sites a lot and reddit... we are certainly more disliked than our ENFP and INFJ brethren for instance. I'm sorry, it's just a very clear trend. It doesn't necessarily say anything about us, and I suppose I made the thread title too provocative, but what I'm saying is that we're generally either 'meh' to people overall or disliked (i'm mainly speaking regarding romance). I don't know what to make of it, but there it is. We are definitely liked a bit as friends, to continue the INTJ observations, I definitely have seen a bunch of posts by them about us as good listeners.

Every INTJ-INFP relationship thread posted in the INTJ sub on reddit for instance, is met with 'i don't think INFPs and INTJs make good partners.' contrast this to what's said about INFJs and ENFPs... a whole different attitude.

I agree that being liked by everyone isn't important, it's just a bit sad to see so much consistent OVERALL criticism or ultimate dismissal.
 

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Regarding the INFJ thing: of course the people who aren't INFJs but think they are are CONSTANTLY called out for it... I've certainly read a bunch of threads myself from disgruntled INFJs who are so sick of the mistyped INFJs actual INFPs polluting their forums with their fluffy emo brainz
I'm not going to dismiss your claim that I haven't seen these and I disagree with every typist judgmental thought people will throw out on a bad day. They feel the need to put down someone in a rant and it's sad to see when they collectively do that to an entire group. Again your MBTI is a shell, you are still very unique within your shell. This being said I can't say all INFJs think this way because they don't. That would be as bad as calling all INFPs emo. I can say that you're a warm, sensitive, original, depth orientated creative type in substance. Sensitivity I never found to be a negative quality and there's nothing wrong with being able to shed tears.
 

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Discussion Starter #25
I'm not going to dismiss your claim that I haven't seen these and I disagree with every typist judgmental thought people will throw out on a bad day. They feel the need to put down someone in a rant and it's sad to see when they collectively do that to an entire group. Again your MBTI is a shell, you are still very unique within your shell. This being said I can't say all INFJs think this way because they don't. That would be as bad as calling all INFPs emo. I can say that you're a warm, sensitive, original, depth orientated creative type in substance. Sensitivity I never found to be a negative quality and there's nothing wrong with being able to shed tears.
I do appreciate it. I don't think it can be denied that a huge chunk, if not most INFJ posts about INFPs seem to be negatively skewed. it's just an observation.
 

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I do appreciate it. I don't think it can be denied that a huge chunk, if not most INFJ posts about INFPs seem to be negatively skewed. it's just an observation.
Humm when I first came to this site I came at a time there were a lot of ENFP stereo-typical threads in the INFJ section calling us pretty much loose vapid beings with no brains. "Paraphrasing." I'm sure I'm also remembering it worse than it actually was. There seem to be a lot of them too and a misconception about who we were. I just read a recent one calling us manipulative because the poor soul happened upon our darker selves within his GF and dumped her. Which I had expressed great sadness to him that it's not until we know someone that we will let you in fully. It's like he some how surmised that because she showed a darker brooding self to him he dismissed all her positive moments to be that of manipulation. As if human beings can't be more than just child like and bubbly. Anyways my point is that if I was to concentrate on the few people who do think this way I would have a very unhealthy opinion of the INFJ and would have not stayed around to find out how amazing they are. I certainly don't hope your anger settles over an entire group for what a few individuals say. Both INTJ and INFJs can be very loving but their trust must be first earned. Teach them how wrong they are about you.
 

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Humm when I first came to this site I came at a time there were a lot of ENFP stereo-typical threads in the INFJ section calling us pretty much loose vapid beings with no brains. "Paraphrasing." I'm sure I'm also remembering it worse than it actually was. There seem to be a lot of them too and a misconception about who we were. I just read a recent one calling us manipulative because the poor soul happened upon our darker selves within his GF and dumped her. Which I had expressed great sadness to him that it's not until we know someone that we will let you in fully. It's like he some how surmised that because she showed a darker brooding self to him he dismissed all her positive moments to be that of manipulation. As if human beings can't be more than just child like and bubbly. Anyways my point is that if I was to concentrate on the few people who do think this way I would have a very unhealthy opinion of the INFJ and would have not stayed around to find out how amazing they are. I certainly don't hope your anger settles over an entire group for what a few individuals say. Both INTJ and INFJs can be very loving but their trust must be first earned. Teach them how wrong they are about you.
Interesting, overall I don't hear much that's negative about ENFPs. I read all the forums: those on reddit, typologycentral, the individual sites... i just don't see it in the same volume. that's not to say it doesn't exist, but with ENFPs' extroversion and dom-Ne it makes sense that they would be thought of more favorably by different types. I also see WAYY more 'I love you guys!' posts directed at ENFPs all over the place. It's just how it is.

The fact of the matter is, I'm not talking about a few threads here or a few people, I'm talking about overwhelming trends over time. It's an observation I've held for awhile, going to all these different sites almost everyday. A lot of people on this site are younger, so I've found that reddit is sometimes more helpful for gauging interactions as people mature---and I see the same kinds of trends.

I want to make clear: i don't think that these trends indicate that INFPs ARE unloveable or anything, I'm just pointing out that we don't seem as outwardly appreciated as other types. As I've said a bunch of times---it's merely an observation and it's not to say that no one likes us
 

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I think you might be exaggerating a little. There are much worse stereotypes about other types than there are about INFPs.

Imagine if you were an EXTJ. Most people around here think EXTJs are complete jerks who exist to make their life hell and they tend to type every scumbag they meet as EXTJ.
What about sensors in general ? A lot of intuitives think that sensors and completely shallow.
 

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Discussion Starter #29
I think you might be exaggerating a little. There are much worse stereotypes about other types than there are about INFPs.

Imagine if you were an EXTJ. Most people around here think EXTJs are complete jerks who exist to make their life hell and they tend to type every scumbag they meet as EXTJ.
What about sensors in general ? A lot of intuitives think that sensors and completely shallow.
I already addressed the sensor hate in a previous comment. It does make a bit of sense that intuitives and sensors might not understand eachother to a certain degree. there are way less sensors online to defend themselves or to notice and care, and it's also important to note that overall they are way more accepted by society. My point was that INFPs are probably the type MOST criticized online by the MBTI community AND rejected by society. For us it's twofold. We are by far the most criticized of the intuitives.

I'm really not exaggerating. I didn't care for this to become my observation, it just... is. It's very apparent if you frequent all kinds of boards a lot. Bring up INFPs, especially in a romantic relationship context and opinions will be very mixed at best contrary to like, INFJs or ENFPs or something
 

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I s'pose the mere fact of us associated with crying gifs on that 16 type gif thread on the INTJ sub forum is quite evident of the first thing people think of when they think of the INFP type is quite telling, then again you see ESTP hard sport gifs, rainbow puke gifs for the ENFP's and so on…
People do have their favourite types though, I'm not sure if there is an ultimate 'cool' type and even then, it's not wise to place everybody belonging to that type on a huge pedestal, no-one is perfect! Many people mistype others, others have met 1 or many of a certain type and feel qualified to make sweeping statements regardless of individual circumstances like the culture they have been brought up in, maybe a T type spent a lot of time in a F heavy environment, there are these other aspects to a person than their type, it doesn't tell you their past, their experiences which have shaped them as a person.
 

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Discussion Starter #31
I s'pose the mere fact of us associated with crying gifs on that 16 type gif thread on the INTJ sub forum is quite evident of the first thing people think of when they think of the INFP type is quite telling, then again you see ESTP hard sport gifs, rainbow puke gifs for the ENFP's and so on…
People do have their favourite types though, I'm not sure if there is an ultimate 'cool' type and even then, it's not wise to place everybody belonging to that type on a huge pedestal, no-one is perfect! Many people mistype others, others have met 1 or many of a certain type and feel qualified to make sweeping statements regardless of individual circumstances like the culture they have been brought up in, maybe a T type spent a lot of time in a F heavy environment, there are these other aspects to a person than their type, it doesn't tell you their past, their experiences which have shaped them as a person.
yeah, i know. even accounting for all of that i still feel like there are noticeable trends.
 

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I already addressed the sensor hate in a previous comment. It does make a bit of sense that intuitives and sensors might not understand eachother to a certain degree. there are way less sensors online to defend themselves or to notice and care, and it's also important to note that overall they are way more accepted by society. My point was that INFPs are probably the type MOST criticized online by the MBTI community AND rejected by society. For us it's twofold. We are by far the most criticized of the intuitives.

I'm really not exaggerating. I didn't care for this to become my observation, it just... is. It's very apparent if you frequent all kinds of boards a lot. Bring up INFPs, especially in a romantic relationship context and opinions will be very mixed at best contrary to like, INFJs or ENFPs or something
In real life , every type can be rejected by society . It depends on the individual . I even know ESXJs and ESXPs who can be described as outcasts.
Online, there are pretty much stereotypes about every single type:
ESFJs are viewed as clingy and judgemental psychos who do not understand what personal space means.
ISFJs are considered whiny doormats that let everyone take advantage of them.
ESTJs are supposedly cold, control freaks, bossy jerks that make everyone's life hell.
ISTJs are viewed as completely unemotional "robots" who always follow orders.
ESFPs are unfaithful,shallow and reckless party animals.
ISFPs are emo and hipsters.
ESTPs are trolls and bullies.
ISTPs have no social skills and they only care about sports and cars.
ENTJs are jerks who stop at nothing until they get what they want.
INTJs are "evil", arrogant elitists.
ENTPs are chaotic trolls who don't know what they want.
INTPs are socially retarded and they spend their lives in their mother's basement, playing video games.
ENFJs are manipulative and pretentious.
INFJs think they're special butterflies who are always right.
ENFPs are hippies and weirdos.

Of course I don't support these stereotypes , but I wanted to show you that INFPs really don't have it that bad .
 

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I appreciate your words, but as someone who goes on that INTJ site a lot, and here a lot, other individual personality sites a lot and reddit... we are certainly more disliked than our ENFP and INFJ brethren for instance. I'm sorry, it's just a very clear trend. It doesn't necessarily say anything about us, and I suppose I made the thread title too provocative, but what I'm saying is that we're generally either 'meh' to people overall or disliked (i'm mainly speaking regarding romance). I don't know what to make of it, but there it is. We are definitely liked a bit as friends, to continue the INTJ observations, I definitely have seen a bunch of posts by them about us as good listeners.

Every INTJ-INFP relationship thread posted in the INTJ sub on reddit for instance, is met with 'i don't think INFPs and INTJs make good partners.' contrast this to what's said about INFJs and ENFPs... a whole different attitude.

I agree that being liked by everyone isn't important, it's just a bit sad to see so much consistent OVERALL criticism or ultimate dismissal.
I would say that INFP + INTJ is not a good match, just like the INTJ + ENFP relationship.
That doesn't mean those types are worse than others, just that it doesn't seem to work if you consider the INTJ stereotype (that actually seems to be a good match for living alone with their cats, to be honest). All of these threads do not regard individuals, but stereotypes and just one or another case of a past experience that proves absolutely nothing.

It is just theoretical babbling, nobody should actually dismiss another person due to their type, and I don't think most really would. Just the awareness of it could already help to solve potential communication problems, which I see as one of the biggest relationship killers around. More pragmatic people could believe that the odds aren't in favor of the relationship, but odds don't mean much in such cases.

Anyway, as I've said, it is easier to concentrate on negative aspects of a trait when you know it well, while some characteristics of other types may seem better. Most of what is linked to my type, for example, comes down to arrogance and the lack of a heart, culminating in a tendency to be a supervillain, even if they are dressed up as "intellectualist, ambitious and decisive". You can see the buzzwords and supposedly funny gifs as you wish, really.
 

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Discussion Starter #35
In real life , every type can be rejected by society . It depends on the individual . I even know ESXJs and ESXPs who can be described as outcasts.
Online, there are pretty much stereotypes about every single type:
ESFJs are viewed as clingy and judgemental psychos who do not understand what personal space means.
ISFJs are considered whiny doormats that let everyone take advantage of them.
ESTJs are supposedly cold, control freaks, bossy jerks that make everyone's life hell.
ISTJs are viewed as completely unemotional "robots" who always follow orders.
ESFPs are unfaithful,shallow and reckless party animals.
ISFPs are emo and hipsters.
ESTPs are trolls and bullies.
ISTPs have no social skills and they only care about sports and cars.
ENTJs are jerks who stop at nothing until they get what they want.
INTJs are "evil", arrogant elitists.
ENTPs are chaotic trolls who don't know what they want.
INTPs are socially retarded and they spend their lives in their mother's basement, playing video games.
ENFJs are manipulative and pretentious.
INFJs think they're special butterflies who are always right.
ENFPs are hippies and weirdos.

Of course I don't support these stereotypes , but I wanted to show you that INFPs really don't have it that bad .
I am perfectly aware that every person has their struggles, but I have reason to believe that the combination of INFP functions together do not OVERALL, trend-wise lend themselves to fitting in and succeeding in the western world. of course you will have exceptions, but to pretend that every personality is equally accepted. on the whole, in a certain society is silly
 

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Discussion Starter #36
I would say that INFP + INTJ is not a good match, just like the INTJ + ENFP relationship.
That doesn't mean those types are worse than others, just that it doesn't seem to work if you consider the INTJ stereotype (that actually seems to be a good match for living alone with their cats, to be honest). All of these threads do not regard individuals, but stereotypes and just one or another case of a past experience that proves absolutely nothing.

It is just theoretical babbling, nobody should actually dismiss another person due to their type, and I don't think most really would. Just the awareness of it could already help to solve potential communication problems, which I see as one of the biggest relationship killers around. More pragmatic people could believe that the odds aren't in favor of the relationship, but odds don't mean much in such cases.

Anyway, as I've said, it is easier to concentrate on negative aspects of a trait when you know it well, while some characteristics of other types may seem better. Most of what is linked to my type, for example, comes down to arrogance and the lack of a heart, culminating in a tendency to be a supervillain, even if they are dressed up as "intellectualist, ambitious and decisive". You can see the buzzwords and supposedly funny gifs as you wish, really.
lol then tell the iNTJs at the INTJ site that. pretty much all of their posts are about ENFPs. i have seen a TON. a TON of posts about this paioring and it mostly seems very positive so i'm going to have to disagree with you there.
 

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Ehhhh, yeah, I don't really take that much stock in this. I can see why INFPs can be an easy target in general and, where I am (the U.S.), EXXJ traits are more highly valued societally, so yeah it's less likely to even be admired on the whole, but I find a lot of positive feedback on small things and certain important moments which means more to me than people liking me for my Myers Briggs type anyway (I don't think being admired for my type really says much about who I am or what I've personally accomplished.). INFPs are generally more back-end/behind-the-scenes types anyway. Even with my limited social encounters (being pretty introverted) and being a dreadful INFP :wink:, I find I have to turn down a lot of people already because I don't want to be sought out all the time--I only want a few chosen people in my life, and I love my independence. Maybe it's because I'm a type 4w5 and also have personally experienced a lot of positive reception in my own life, I enjoy being weird, old me and having a big picture perspective where I can easily selectively take myself out from under social pressure to think about things on my own and notice things other people don't tend to notice. Yeah, observing all the time kind of just means being on the outside or at least on the outskirts, but I love observing! It's such a strength, and tends to provide balance in a lot of groups or partnerships I enter. I find that plenty of people in my life find me valuable and insightful, even if I'm also seen as kind of odd and/or unreachable in most situations.

And in terms of romantically, I actually have great luck with XNTJs in real life! Got to interpret what they say through their own lens though, since they're definitely not as gushy (unless they're encouraging you in a conversation about your goals or what not), ha. I'm also a big sucker for private, effortful, super heartfelt expressions of love from an NT that would typically be masked beneath an action or dismissed as nothing if I asked about it--and would rarely be made viewable outside an one-on-one interaction with me (nevermind posted about on the internet!), though. Really appeals to how close to my heart I like to carry my romantic relationships.

So, I guess what I'm saying that it's positive or negative depending on what you want from the world. Just thought I'd throw in my perspective on it!
 

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Ehhhh, yeah, I don't really take that much stock in this. I can see why INFPs can be an easy target in general and, where I am (the U.S.), EXXJ traits are more highly valued societally, so yeah it's less likely to even be admired on the whole, but I find a lot of positive feedback on small things and certain important moments which means more to me than people liking me for my Myers Briggs type anyway (I don't think being admired for my type really says much about who I am or what I've personally accomplished.). INFPs are generally more back-end/behind-the-scenes types anyway. Even with my limited social encounters (being pretty introverted) and being a dreadful INFP :wink:, I find I have to turn down a lot of people already because I don't want to be sought out all the time--I only want a few chosen people in my life, and I love my independence. Maybe it's because I'm a type 4w5 and also have personally experienced a lot of positive reception in my own life, I enjoy being weird, old me and having a big picture perspective where I can easily selectively take myself out from under social pressure to think about things on my own and notice things other people don't tend to notice. Yeah, observing all the time kind of just means being on the outside or at least on the outskirts, but I love observing! It's such a strength, and tends to provide balance in a lot of groups or partnerships I enter. I find that plenty of people in my life find me valuable and insightful, even if I'm also seen as kind of odd and/or unreachable in most situations.

And in terms of romantically, I actually have great luck with XNTJs in real life! Got to interpret what they say through their own lens though, since they're definitely not as gushy (unless they're encouraging you in a conversation about your goals or what not), ha. I'm also a big sucker for private, effortful, super heartfelt expressions of love from an NT that would typically be masked beneath an action or dismissed as nothing if I asked about it--and would rarely be made viewable outside an one-on-one interaction with me (nevermind posted about on the internet!), though. Really appeals to how close to my heart I like to carry my romantic relationships.

So, I guess what I'm saying that it's positive or negative depending on what you want from the world. Just thought I'd throw in my perspective on it!
well, i appreciate your insight. certainly some INFPs manage to find their niche and have a combination of a good attitude + good luck to have certain people around them... most don't, just from what i've seen. i have been speaking entirely about TRENDS in this thread, not every specific experience
 

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well, i appreciate your insight. certainly some INFPs manage to find their niche and have a combination of a good attitude + good luck to have certain people around them... most don't, just from what i've seen. i have been speaking entirely about TRENDS in this thread, not every specific experience
I fully acknowledge that you're talking about trends. I'm saying that depending on a person's ends and perspective, a trend can work for them or against. I fully acknowledge that I wouldn't want and wouldn't fully leverage a big following in any of the goals I have in life, and that being a big weirdo who asks people to look at the world differently is enjoyable for me! It's kind of fun to be able to consistently offer people something super unexpected/different.
 
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