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Discussion Starter #1
(Im introducing this thread because I'm facing this on my own)

FACT:
You're an INFP who somehow is gifted with an excellent Public Speaking skill. People say they are inspired everytime u give speeches, your're their benchmark when public speaking is concerned

PROBLEM
Being INFP, your social skills are not as great as your Public Speaking Skill. You tend to do things alone, go to the cafe alone n spend very little time socializing.

RESULT
People mistakenly think you are arrogant; not befriending others because u r better than them, like you are more capable than them.

ARE YOU ONE OF THESE OR KNOW ANY DEBATER/SPEAKER AT YOUR SCHOOL/COLLEGE WHO IS LIKE THIS?
 

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Do you blend well with the popular girls?
Not really, I don't think.

I mean, I seem to be a special case where everyone seems to fret over me... at least in person. Maybe they secretly are harboring grudges, but it's not known to me if they are.

My personal situation is that i'm "too popular to be popular."

Basically, I tend to stay in most of the time and people notice that I'm not at a certain event so they think that I have another event or social thing that I'm doing that took precedence over them and their's. The end result is that no one really tries to contact me to do anything because they think that I am too busy doing other things when I'm really just sitting at the coffee house alone.

I also don't really care about blending in with the popular crowd. INFP, 5w4... "popular" is not a priority ;)
 

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This happens to me too, I have done a lot of stage acting, so standing in front of crowds doesn't bother me, and I can be very charismatic as a speaker. But put me in the crowd afterwards and I'll struggle to deal with everyone.

I don't dismiss people who approach me, but I don't do much approaching.
 

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I'm a terrific public speaker (cocky too!).

I figure that if I'm going to be "up there" I may as well be memorable. I'm not sure if I'm necessarily perceived as arrogant, but I have had people tell me later that it felt like I was too mature or just generally too smart (based on word choice and presence).

In its own way, I think you can alienate yourself from your peers simply by being good at something. I'll be honest, quite a few times I didn't know what I was talking about in front of everyone, but I could play it like I knew and virtually everyone always nodded in agreement (even teachers).

In the end, in some cases it made me "untouchable" (people were too intimidated / insecure to talk to me and feel like they were dumb), in other cases I got little stalker girls in the crowd, and most often I'd get little wanna-be groupies they kind of congregated around me trying to be-friend me.

It's weird how it all works.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Not really, I don't think.

I mean, I seem to be a special case where everyone seems to fret over me... at least in person. Maybe they secretly are harboring grudges, but it's not known to me if they are.

My personal situation is that i'm "too popular to be popular."

Basically, I tend to stay in most of the time and people notice that I'm not at a certain event so they think that I have another event or social thing that I'm doing that took precedence over them and their's. The end result is that no one really tries to contact me to do anything because they think that I am too busy doing other things when I'm really just sitting at the coffee house alone.

I also don't really care about blending in with the popular crowd. INFP, 5w4... "popular" is not a priority ;)
Ahaha, i like that trick, well although u may have not intentionally made it to appear so. Now that you pointed it out, maybe people HAVE been deceived just d same about me; they dont call me for a certain events coz they thought im busy at other events :tongue: Anyway, im more than glad not having to join any event, social gatherings really drain my energy *typical INFP*

Ur rite..popularity is never our (INFP) priority. i dont know why there is still a tiny voice inside me that keep saying "if only im popular"..although i know deep down that i can never handle popularity...given the poor social skill i have :sad:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
True!!!

This happens to me too, I have done a lot of stage acting, so standing in front of crowds doesn't bother me, and I can be very charismatic as a speaker. But put me in the crowd afterwards and I'll struggle to deal with everyone.

I don't dismiss people who approach me, but I don't do much approaching.

Just like u, i also dont dismiss people who approach me, but i dont do much approaching. Oh to add to that, im afraid at a group of people! i mean, i usually have no problem approaching another INDIVIDUAL, but i reeeaallllyyy have problems approaching a GROUP of people. i never did! if its just 1 person, i usually can bravely go up to him/her and initiate a talk. But when there's a group of girls (especially famous garls), i'll shy away n i'll alwiz think that they are talkin bout me or that if i suddenly join them, they'll give an awkward look/signs saying "what the?"

:sad:
 

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Discussion Starter #9
so interesting!!!

I'm a terrific public speaker (cocky too!).

I figure that if I'm going to be "up there" I may as well be memorable. I'm not sure if I'm necessarily perceived as arrogant, but I have had people tell me later that it felt like I was too mature or just generally too smart (based on word choice and presence).

In its own way, I think you can alienate yourself from your peers simply by being good at something. I'll be honest, quite a few times I didn't know what I was talking about in front of everyone, but I could play it like I knew and virtually everyone always nodded in agreement (even teachers).

In the end, in some cases it made me "untouchable" (people were too intimidated / insecure to talk to me and feel like they were dumb), in other cases I got little stalker girls in the crowd, and most often I'd get little wanna-be groupies they kind of congregated around me trying to be-friend me.

It's weird how it all works.
haha!! Thanx a lot for sharing!! You are interesting, now im wonder which are among people ive been looking up to all this while are like you i.e not actually knowing what they are saying but people were still impressed by their speeches/presentations regardless

Ya, i think u explained it precisely there. People perhaps were too intimidated/insecure to talk to us,im pretty sure this is exactly what i went thru when i was in University (i was debating for the university n people really look up to debaters when in fact we're just like evrybody else who are approachable n 'friendable' ;-).

haha, i can imagine that part u said "they kind of congregated around u trying to be-friend u". :crazy:
 

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Yeah, people tell me all the time that I should get into public speaking and things like that, but I'm not very extremely introverted. Socially, I act like an extrovert unless I'm tired. I just assume a convenient persona for each social situation. If I am tired, then I just can't even bring myself to care what they think, because I don't have the energy. I just need a break.
 

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I love public speaking/theatre/acting... because everything I say is prepared and thought out in my head before hand...speaking to people in real time is so much harder because I need more time to process my thoughts before speaking what I feel/think...more then the average extrovert that is...

After reading that...I kind of sound mentally retarded. Oh well... it is what it is...:unsure:
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I love public speaking/theatre/acting... because everything I say is prepared and thought out in my head before hand...speaking to people in real time is so much harder because I need more time to process my thoughts before speaking what I feel/think...more then the average extrovert that is...

After reading that...I kind of sound mentally retarded. Oh well... it is what it is...:unsure:
Ya its soo true, when we do public speaking, we're usually prepared (even if its impromptu, its gona revolve around a certain given topics thats have the least tendency to offence anyone)
But ya, in real time its much harder coz we have to think fast to reply to someone else bout what we think/feel
 

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FACT:
You're an INFP who somehow is gifted with an excellent Public Speaking skill. People say they are inspired everytime u give speeches, your're their benchmark when public speaking is concerned
This is true. I've won awards for speaking-related activities (debate, etc) in high school, college and law school.

PROBLEM
Being INFP, your social skills are not as great as your Public Speaking Skill. You tend to do things alone, go to the cafe alone n spend very little time socializing.
I don't see why this is a problem.

RESULT
People mistakenly think you are arrogant; not befriending others because u r better than them, like you are more capable than them.
I've never had this issue.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
This is true. I've won awards for speaking-related activities (debate, etc) in high school, college and law school.

Same with me :happy: Oh i went to law school too, joined mooting but i didnt quite like it. :happy:

I don't see why this is a problem.

Ya i shouldnt hv used the heading 'problem'. It maybe is a 'potential consequence'

I've never had this issue.
I think, what happens is there are certain people who wudnt approach the talented speakers becoz they might feel insecure just looking at how well these speakers can talk, im just repeating one of the members post in his reply to this thread. there might me some truth in it...coz..i myself do feel insecure to approach speakers who are WWAAAYY better than i am...probably that's what the other think about me, and wrongly thought that they feel im arrogant when thats not actually what they're thinking...

This forum is interesting,it really gives me new insights n new ways of looking at things. thanx Timeless.
 

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(Im introducing this thread because I'm facing this on my own)

FACT:
You're an INFP who somehow is gifted with an excellent Public Speaking skill. People say they are inspired everytime u give speeches, your're their benchmark when public speaking is concerned
Accurate for me. Not to brag, but I can be exceptional when it comes to public speaking if I have plenty of time to prepare and practice. I had people coming up to me because they were surprised about this side of me afterward. Unfortunately, it can backfire and I can be the worst and start stuttering, making a fool of myself.
 

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haha the way i see it, it's not because you guys were prepared; it was likely because there was no actual interaction, hence zilch need for social anxiety.
 

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I must admit, I can get really emotional when I'm speaking in public (if it's words I chose myself), not realizing how much I mean what I'm saying until I say it - and then as my voice starts breaking, people think I'm nervous. Uh, no... I'm just passionate. :confused:
 
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