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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hey!

So I've been wondering how attached other INFPs get to things, people, places etc?

In my case, I don't really think there is anything I feel really attached to.

Some examples.
I've been living in one place for quite a long time and it is, of course, my home. But at the same time I'm not attached to it and I feel like I could live in any place in the world and be happy. Same goes for my work. I've been working in the same place for almost 6 years and, even tough I don't currently look for other job possibilites, if an opportunity suddenly arised to change it, it wouldn't be hard at all for me to leave my current job.

It's the same with people. I've had several friends throughout my life, but it was never hard for me to let them go when friendships ended. I've never missed a person in my life. I've never had a feeling that I really want to meet someone. My only friend now lives abroad, and because of that we rarely write each other. But I already now we will meet when she visits and I visit her this summer and we will talk about everything that has happened during all this time. At those moments when we are together, it is all very nice and I feel very close, but for the rest of the time I don't really think about her and feel fine.
There was one short period last year when I was somehow attached to a guy I fell in love with, but even then I did miss him only couple of times. And now I've let him go and don't feel anything when thinking about him.

Moreover, I'm not even attached to my family members. I have a brother and our relationship has aways been quite distant and cold. We never quarrel, but we also don't ask each other about what's new and how we are doing. It has always been like that and I'm used to it. I'm quite close with my mother, but still, I could go on with my life and never really miss her.

Of course, some might think this means I don't love my family or don't care about them, but it's not the case. I care deeply about them and I want them to be happy and healthy. There is this term in buddhism - love without attachment, and I think it's my natural state, the only way I am capable of loving. Letting other people live their lives, but still caring deeply about them. Enjoying every moment with them, but also equally enjoying every moment without them.

In the same way I feel about all humanity. I sometimes meet fantastic people, have one exiting conversation with them, feel the deepest love towards them during that moment and yet, the time comes when one of us have to leave and we never see each other again. I go on with my life and maybe only during some of my more nostalgic moments I will remember these people with the warmest feeling in my heart. At those moments I might start wondering what they are doing, how are they feeling and wonder what would happen if we ever meet again. I guess that's my way of "missing" them.

I wrote so much but I'm not even sure if I'm making sense? Can anyone relate to this or is it something unique to me? Maybe I've mistyped myself and this is characteristic to some other types?
Any insights are appreciated :)

Thanks!
 

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Things: Zero attachment, which doesn't mean I don't love my things. I do, but when they break I'm like Oh well, it was nice having you in my life, and I immediately look to replace it. I keep my home as decluttered as possible, I like practical stuff, not mere ornaments. All ornaments need to be practical, and everything practical needs to fit my aesthetic/be pretty.
I always throw away gifts from people when they aren't practical. And I even threw out jewelry and clothes and crafts that my then-bf would make/buy me, because... I just don't see the point. He would scream at me "But I gave you those things! They are sentimental!" and I'm like... not sentimental, can't help it. I enjoy the gesture of the giving/receiving, but then the object itself is irrelevant in my life if it's not practical, so it needs to go, I have no mercy, sorry. Moral of the story: don't buy me 40 things because 'sentimental'. Buy me 1 that is practical, then buy me experiences.

Places: Veeeery attached, it's surreal. I don't have more to say on this, because I have no explanation for why I feel this way. Ever since childhood, I was attached to places I had never been, and I developed imaginary relationships with those countries & cities to the point I knew them so well, that then when I was older I traveled to all those places many times, because they already felt like home. I keep returning to the same european cities over and over like they are my best friends, like we share blood.
I also get easily attached to specific coffee shops, and I stick to the same 2-3 because they make me feel safe. I'm also attached to the same 2-3 shops, and I don't venture to other places, because I'm loyal to those, I feel safe there, I know where everything is, I know the furniture, the colors, the position of everything, keeps me calm.

People: I feel extreeeemely detached from everyone, including my nuclear family. Which is strange because when I interact with people, I feel deeply in that moment, like they trigger a profound experience of life -for good and bad. But this "profound experience of aliveness" doesn't breed attachment.
Now, when I do get attached to someone... they must be prepared. I'm intense. When I'm in, I'm frikkin in. And if circumstances force me to activate detachment, it's the most painful life experience, it's like getting your soul chopped in half with an airplane door in the jungle no meds (flashback to Lost: Jack & Boone AAAAHHHHHHH pain--->faints). I don't let myself get to that point, and I do that on purpose by controling my attachment with my mind, which brings us back to the beginning of this paragraph: I feel extremely detached from everyone because I've trained myself for decades to exist in detached mode; it's an art.
But hey most of the time, it's genuine effortless detachment, as I struggle with finding meaning when it comes to human relations. My default state is to feel this existential... I don't know what to call it... meaningless relations, like I wonder what's the point of humans... it's weird, and I can't control this feeling of meaninglessness. If I could control it, I wouldn't feel it and I wouldn't push people away with my non-chalant non-care.

I'm not attached to it and I feel like I could live in any place in the world and be happy.
my INFJ friend says this a lot, and I find it so.. surreal. Like I can't imagine this feeling of being okay anywhere. I often think that it's my Self-Preservation instinct (enneagram) that makes me so hardcorely attached to sources of security, and my nº1 source of security is physical security, much more than emotional security. I absolutely cannot feel emotional security unless my physical security is in place. I hate moving houses, moving cities, a change of environment can cause me a mental breakdown, it's that serious. I think this is because I grew up moving every 2 years, so I never had roots and lived in a perpetual state of panic and insecurity and fearing for my physical life.
 

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INFPs & Attachment

Hmmm... I think I'm always the end of the spectrum so it's either i have zero attachment or 100% attached.

For places, i don't really get attached but i get loyal. Is that attachment? For example, I'm loyal to my country (i do defend my country against other races when insulted or will fight for it or its name when needed), schools, companies i worked for and working for (even though i left these companies I'm still not comfortable hearing other people badmouth or bully them; i feel kinda hurt).

Things - hmmm I'm very sentimental. You have no idea what my place look like even my workplace that it's getting attention from my colleagues and a lot have been talking to me politely to throw things away

People. Omg! This is the hardest one. I don't get attached easily but when i do, i swear i can probably do anything. Lol. I give my entire trust. Devoted. But when trust is broken, it's like it's gonna go back to zero again. I don't shut doors unless the wrongdoing is absolutely terrible


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Just look through the post for all the BOLDED parts.

That is me answering your post.




So I've been wondering how attached other INFPs get to things, people, places etc?

I will answer, but, these answers, are how I'm feeling, today. I think the answers go for all of my life, but sometimes, things do change. Here goes...

In my case, I don't really think there is anything I feel really attached to.

I am attached to soooooooooo much. Can't properly count all the things I'm attached to. Too many. Millions of people, places and things.


I've been living in one place for quite a long time and it is, of course, my home. But at the same time I'm not attached to it (I love my home. I love my town. I am attached to both.) and I feel like I could live in any place in the world and be happy (No. I am not like this. I have a ton of rules, needs, preferences, opinions, regarding environments and other countries). Same goes for my work. I've been working in the same place for almost 6 years and, even tough I don't currently look for other job possibilites, if an opportunity suddenly arised to change it, it wouldn't be hard at all for me to leave my current job. (Nope. Not me. I worked at the same job for 25 years, then retired. I was attached to the green abundant income, the benefits, the fantastic retirement package, the cool health insurance for me and hubby. The people. The stability of a great income. The safety of a job I was going to every single day, where I would not fall off a building, get hit on the head or get shot by an idiot.)

It's the same with people. I've had several friends throughout my life, but it was never hard for me to let them go when friendships ended. I've never missed a person in my life. I've never had a feeling that I really want to meet someone. My only friend now lives abroad, and because of that we rarely write each other. But I already now we will meet when she visits and I visit her this summer and we will talk about everything that has happened during all this time. At those moments when we are together, it is all very nice and I feel very close, but for the rest of the time I don't really think about her and feel fine.
There was one short period last year when I was somehow attached to a guy I fell in love with, but even then I did miss him only couple of times. And now I've let him go and don't feel anything when thinking about him.
I am VERY attached to my husband and family. I have friends that come back into my life after 20/25 years. I care for them being back in touch.

Moreover, I'm not even attached to my family members. I have a brother and our relationship has aways been quite distant and cold. We never quarrel, but we also don't ask each other about what's new and how we are doing. It has always been like that and I'm used to it. I'm quite close with my mother, but still, I could go on with my life and never really miss her.

Of course, some might think this means I don't love my family or don't care about them, but it's not the case. I care deeply about them and I want them to be happy and healthy. There is this term in buddhism - love without attachment, (My natural state is to have attachments and believe life is NOT suffering) and I think it's my natural state, the only way I am capable of loving. Letting other people live their lives, but still caring deeply about them. Enjoying every moment with them, but also equally enjoying every moment without them. (Sure. I can do this. With them, I love them. Away from them, I enjoy life.)

In the same way I feel about all humanity. I sometimes meet fantastic people, have one exiting conversation with them, feel the deepest love towards them during that moment and yet, the time comes when one of us have to leave and we never see each other again. I go on with my life and maybe only during some of my more nostalgic moments I will remember these people with the warmest feeling in my heart. At those moments I might start wondering what they are doing, how are they feeling and wonder what would happen if we ever meet again. I guess that's my way of "missing" them.

I wrote so much but I'm not even sure if I'm making sense? Can anyone relate to this or is it something unique to me? Maybe I've mistyped myself and this is characteristic to some other types?
Any insights are appreciated :)

(You could be mistyped, but then, you may not be mistyped. Who knows? Take the official test if you can. I believe in the official MBTI test. Just my opinion tho. If you are really young, maybe that plays into the way you are feeling right now. Some kinda independence, I'm on my own now thing. Not sure, it's been lifetimes since I was in school and attended any psychology courses on "attachment patterns". Have fun, whatever way, you are. I'm not seeing anything here to be concerned about).

Thanks!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
People. Omg! This is the hardest one. I don't get attached easily but when i do, i swear i can probably do anything. Lol. I give my entire trust. Devoted. But when trust is broken, it's like it's gonna go back to zero again. I don't shut doors unless the wrongdoing is absolutely terrible


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I think it is similar to me in a way. It's hard for me to get attached, but the few times I was, it was exactly like you said. And if the other person hurts me, I shut the doors and never look back.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Places: Veeeery attached, it's surreal. I don't have more to say on this, because I have no explanation for why I feel this way. Ever since childhood, I was attached to places I had never been, and I developed imaginary relationships with those countries & cities to the point I knew them so well, that then when I was older I traveled to all those places many times, because they already felt like home. I keep returning to the same european cities over and over like they are my best friends, like we share blood.
I also get easily attached to specific coffee shops, and I stick to the same 2-3 because they make me feel safe. I'm also attached to the same 2-3 shops, and I don't venture to other places, because I'm loyal to those, I feel safe there, I know where everything is, I know the furniture, the colors, the position of everything, keeps me calm.
After reading this, I can relate to it at some points. When I said I could live in any place in the world, I was just saying how I feel. Meaning that I am not attached to my current location. But when I start to think rationally, I of course realize I could never live in a place where it's too dangerous, too cold or too hot. The more correct way to say this would be that I could live in any place in the world that falls within the category of specific places I would feel comfortable in. :)

I also have those imaginary connections with particular cities or places. Paris is one example. I've seen so many pictures of it, imagined myself walking streets of Monmartre, I really feel as if I've actually been there.
 

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I get attached to lots, but then again you cannot control physical reality and I've also suffered from painful losses. I don't think I'm as sensitive to that as I was when younger.

I almost have a sort of 'purely mental' version in my mind--it might be a coping mechanism.

My aunty died recently and it was not easy for me to accept that her life was over. I don't know how to reconcile that--or any of the passage of time. I still remember when we had Christmas at her house, and we sat around the Christmas tree and opened 'prezzies.'

I remember her warmth, and I think of all the people she touched. When her husband gave a memorial speech, he talked about how he is an athiest and never religious, but how he feels like she's still here. I cannot accept a reality in which what we love and value so much can be so arbitrarily 'unattached' to us by physical circumstances.

Perhaps, that is what attachment is--its the significance that someone or something has. And it does not change as quickly as reality does.

But eh--I do get attached to things. I also tend to let possessions go easily. I value things by their sentimental value. There are few things tht I really miss, but they tend to be things I'd like to look at and wonder about now, because I could learn more about them. Even then, I also sort of accept their loss as being part of what informs me and who I am.

I get attached to people for sure.

I feel attached to the places I considered home. It mostly becomes more abstract as I lost those attachments--or I had to move as a kid. So now it's what unifies all of them--which tends to be big stuff like oceans, wind, and things they all share.

My jobs--I don't like to actively seek out better jobs. I know it's what people are supposed to do, but it's not really in my nature or habit to do so.

So I guess, in comparison, I am pretty attached. I also tend to let go when I have to though, and find peace in that--however.

I really enjoyed studying Buddhism as a child, but I got stuck on the attachment thing, and the concept of the world being an illusion. I can definitely give to people or love them, and let them go gracefully--actually I do that constantly and very professionally, but I don't think attachment in itself is wrong (which I guess is how I understood it from reading about Buddhism and trying to practice it). I do like something I heard after, from a Buddhist monk, which was that suffering can be a gift because it allows for the birth of compassion.

So idk--in some ways I don't feel quite as attached to others. I can be a rolling stone, and I don't tend to make a lot of attachments with people--probably less than most people. But attachment is also important to me.
 

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Personally I get very attached to things, people, and places.

My memory seems particularly tied to places, and I really value my memories so moving away is like losing a chunk of myself, I hate that. I like the comfort of familiar places as well, it's easier to do things on autopilot while thinking about more interesting things when you've navigated it so many times before.

With things it depends on the item, if it's something that is really 'me' and I love it then I definitely feel sad if it breaks or gets lost. I'm not one for actively getting rid of things, but there are some things that I wouldn't be too bothered about losing. If it's something I could replace with the exact same thing it's not so bad unless it's something that really has a special history with me, if there's that sentimental aspect then I'm very attached.

It's one of my ideals to know people a long time, to have life-long friends, and to have deep connections with family and friends, so yeah I'm very attached to them. People are not interchangeable, I don't like the idea of replacing friends with new ones after moving or changing school or whatever.
 

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...it's easier to do things on autopilot while thinking about more interesting things when you've navigated it so many times before.
Hey, get out of my head.

(I can't believe the number of times you've expressed things in the very same words I would have.)
 
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Discussion Starter #10
Thanks everyone for the replies.

It's interesting how different everyone sees this subject.

I was thinking that maybe I don't feel attached to people because I haven't yet had very deep relationship with anyone. I had once, a friend who was INTJ so not the most compatible type, but we had quite long and close friendship. However, in the end he changed quite a lot, got a bit obsessed with things I didn't agree with, so I initiated to end our friendship. At the beginning of our friendship I was quite clingy and it annoyed him. So maybe this and some other similar bad experiences with people pushing me away have made me develop some kind of defence mechanism which doesn't allow me to get very attached to anyone so that I don't get hurt...just an idea.
 

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Muh teddy bear. He's twenty one years old now, the old fella.

I get some sort of attachment to certain places, almost like a reminder that I've been there before whenever I enter the place.

People? Ha. Maybe like 4 total. I feel connection when we're interacting. I don't get attached. If anything, I forget people are still doing their own thing.

I used to look up random friends from elementary school on Facebook and go "whoa, HE'S STILL ALIVE! WUUUUUUUUUUUUUT-"

Then get all nostalgic, wonder how things are going for them, then forget they exist five minutes later all over again.

Besides teddy bear, I don't get attached to things. But I do tend to hoard stuff that I REAAAAAAAAALLY don't need. I still have high school essays sitting in my old home drawers. Wut.
 

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Muh teddy bear. He's twenty one years old now, the old fella.

I get some sort of attachment to certain places, almost like a reminder that I've been there before whenever I enter the place.

People? Ha. Maybe like 4 total. I feel connection when we're interacting. I don't get attached. If anything, I forget people are still doing their own thing.

I used to look up random friends from elementary school on Facebook and go "whoa, HE'S STILL ALIVE! WUUUUUUUUUUUUUT-"

Then get all nostalgic, wonder how things are going for them, then forget they exist five minutes later all over again.

Besides teddy bear, I don't get attached to things. But I do tend to hoard stuff that I REAAAAAAAAALLY don't need. I still have high school essays sitting in my old home drawers. Wut.

This is so like me. I also can forget people I just interacted with still exist 5 minutes later :D
 

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Hey!

So I've been wondering how attached other INFPs get to things, people, places etc?

In my case, I don't really think there is anything I feel really attached to.

Some examples.
I've been living in one place for quite a long time and it is, of course, my home. But at the same time I'm not attached to it and I feel like I could live in any place in the world and be happy. Same goes for my work. I've been working in the same place for almost 6 years and, even tough I don't currently look for other job possibilites, if an opportunity suddenly arised to change it, it wouldn't be hard at all for me to leave my current job.

It's the same with people. I've had several friends throughout my life, but it was never hard for me to let them go when friendships ended. I've never missed a person in my life. I've never had a feeling that I really want to meet someone. My only friend now lives abroad, and because of that we rarely write each other. But I already now we will meet when she visits and I visit her this summer and we will talk about everything that has happened during all this time. At those moments when we are together, it is all very nice and I feel very close, but for the rest of the time I don't really think about her and feel fine.
There was one short period last year when I was somehow attached to a guy I fell in love with, but even then I did miss him only couple of times. And now I've let him go and don't feel anything when thinking about him.

Moreover, I'm not even attached to my family members. I have a brother and our relationship has aways been quite distant and cold. We never quarrel, but we also don't ask each other about what's new and how we are doing. It has always been like that and I'm used to it. I'm quite close with my mother, but still, I could go on with my life and never really miss her.

Of course, some might think this means I don't love my family or don't care about them, but it's not the case. I care deeply about them and I want them to be happy and healthy. There is this term in buddhism - love without attachment, and I think it's my natural state, the only way I am capable of loving. Letting other people live their lives, but still caring deeply about them. Enjoying every moment with them, but also equally enjoying every moment without them.

In the same way I feel about all humanity. I sometimes meet fantastic people, have one exiting conversation with them, feel the deepest love towards them during that moment and yet, the time comes when one of us have to leave and we never see each other again. I go on with my life and maybe only during some of my more nostalgic moments I will remember these people with the warmest feeling in my heart. At those moments I might start wondering what they are doing, how are they feeling and wonder what would happen if we ever meet again. I guess that's my way of "missing" them.

I wrote so much but I'm not even sure if I'm making sense? Can anyone relate to this or is it something unique to me? Maybe I've mistyped myself and this is characteristic to some other types?
Any insights are appreciated :)

Thanks!
I can relate. I think it's Fi. I think people who lean more towards Fi have a stronger connection with the instinct to be selfish and as such have an easier time separating themselves from what they love. On the flipside, our preference for the selfish function of Fi can lead to neglect of our selfless function of Fe. Our weaker connection with the instinct to be selfless makes it more difficult for us to love unconditionally. In my youthful ignorance, I used to think it was a blessing that I could love and let go because I could only see the suffering of the broken hearted. I was blind to the fact that with this suffering came a deeper level of love that I knew existed on an instinctive level but could never really understand. It was the selfless side of love that I was depriving myself of and I suppose in some ways ignorance was bliss.

Try to teach yourself selflessness by doing acts of love even if you don't have an urge to do it. By force of habit, you can develop enough Fe to enjoy the best of both worlds. You may even have your heart broken one day and be shocked to find out that the ensuing 6 months of depression are worth the deep level of love you got to experience.
 

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Things: No attachment to things unless it's something from an important person in my life. I have a sort of aversion to "worldly possessions" tbh.

Places: No attachment whatsoever, I would easily be able to live in any country with any lifestyle/scenery/cuisine/whatever. I hate the process of moving though LOL. And I do get...nostalgic? for certain places, but not attached to anywhere in particular.

People: On the other hand... I get VERY attached to people. Particularly in romantic relationships. However, I guess I would say I'm detached in the sense that being my friend or dating me is like having a pet fish. People in my life usually question whether I care about them because I'm really distant. I think having trouble expressing/"materializing" your feelings/appreciation for people is a very Fi thing.
 

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Things: not too much. I am able to throw out the item when it seems gross or old. There are some items I feel comfortable having, but I still think I am able to exchange them for the better.

Places: Nostalgia is definitely there. But wonderlust is also there, so I tend to need the change to feel calm.

People: When I am attached to a place, it’s probably due to the people and experience there. I don’t attach to a lot of people, although those who I call friends during a certain period of my life, I take very good care. However, not every one of them sits in my heart. A very few who do though, I tend to long for them forever.
 

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Sounds like you need to step out of your bubble. I felt the same until I lived abroad - then I met people who rocked my world,
some for better, some for worse.

I recently just met another I spent the ENTIRE weekend thinking about. It's actually annoying. Come to think of it, is there more room in your bubble for me? I wouldn't mind crawling back into mine...
 
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Things: Zero attachment, which doesn't mean I don't love my things. I do, but when they break I'm like Oh well, it was nice having you in my life, and I immediately look to replace it. I keep my home as decluttered as possible, I like practical stuff, not mere ornaments. All ornaments need to be practical, and everything practical needs to fit my aesthetic/be pretty.
I always throw away gifts from people when they aren't practical. And I even threw out jewelry and clothes and crafts that my then-bf would make/buy me, because... I just don't see the point. He would scream at me "But I gave you those things! They are sentimental!" and I'm like... not sentimental, can't help it. I enjoy the gesture of the giving/receiving, but then the object itself is irrelevant in my life if it's not practical, so it needs to go, I have no mercy, sorry.
HA! I agree with most of this. This is the ABSOLUTE WORST when it is like... a kid giving me a stick-figure painting. I can usually fairly judge if keeping the thing will be important to the kid and just find a place for it to rest for a little while until I think that it is safe to remove, but sometimes I throw it out and this gets me into trouble.

Exceptions to what you are talking about here come when the sentimentality heavily mixes with practicality. Example: I have a wonder woman shirt that I had used to much, you can barely tell that the print is of wonder woman. It was the first thing I bought at a Comicon and I like the memory very much and have associated it with the shirt. It is literally the only shirt in my workout shirts that is ranked as 'barely serviceable' - all shirts that wear end up in this category, but I particularly loathe to get rid of this one if it can still be worn. If it is almost not practical, it will not be mine longer than required; if it is almost not practical, but I have some sentimentality attached to it, it will be used until it is absolutely confirmed as not useful.

Places: Veeeery attached, it's surreal. I don't have more to say on this, because I have no explanation for why I feel this way. Ever since childhood, I was attached to places I had never been, and I developed imaginary relationships with those countries & cities to the point I knew them so well, that then when I was older I traveled to all those places many times, because they already felt like home. I keep returning to the same european cities over and over like they are my best friends, like we share blood.
True for some places for me. Not all. Most of the real places to which I feel this attachment you are describing are not cities/nations - they are locations in nature. Like Pukaskwa National Park, or caves in the Owen Sound area. The feeling that you are describing is more something that I would associate with fictional places - I don't why I tend to prefer the places I can't ever be in for real.

Questions: Do the buildings in these cities not count as 'Things'? :p ;)

People: I feel extreeeemely detached from everyone, including my nuclear family. Which is strange because when I interact with people, I feel deeply in that moment, like they trigger a profound experience of life -for good and bad. But this "profound experience of aliveness" doesn't breed attachment.
Now, when I do get attached to someone... they must be prepared. I'm intense. When I'm in, I'm frikkin in. And if circumstances force me to activate detachment, it's the most painful life experience, it's like getting your soul chopped in half with an airplane door in the jungle no meds (flashback to Lost: Jack & Boone AAAAHHHHHHH pain--->faints). I don't let myself get to that point, and I do that on purpose by controling my attachment with my mind, which brings us back to the beginning of this paragraph: I feel extremely detached from everyone because I've trained myself for decades to exist in detached mode; it's an art.
But hey most of the time, it's genuine effortless detachment, as I struggle with finding meaning when it comes to human relations. My default state is to feel this existential... I don't know what to call it... meaningless relations, like I wonder what's the point of humans... it's weird, and I can't control this feeling of meaninglessness. If I could control it, I wouldn't feel it and I wouldn't push people away with my non-chalant non-care.
This is kind of the reverse for me. I feel SO attached to humans and the human condition that I have to detach to survive in most cases - dealing with injuries was and is a damn hard lesson because some of that actually reflected as the ability to feel other people's pain (which was great... :S). Likewise, I am highly-sensitive to how people feel especially if they feel deeply about something and I am heavily effected by those ups and downs. It's like getting hit the head. HARD. With a morning-star or a warhammer. That is on fire with feels.

That element of control is a huge factor though. I've always known what is ME and not ME, so I have been able to judge when to detach well enough but still stay close enough to help move things along as like a weird negotiator. If I'm unbalanced, it stretches me REALLY thin and causes some havoc in my mental health unless I am secluded or with someone who can just let me... BE.

P.S. When I was done reading Places, I was like 'holy crap, if entheos is not an sp instinct dominant, I will eat my hat.' And then you mentioned it at the end and I am validated :)
 

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With things, I haven't always been this way but I've definitely been heading in a more minimalist direction lately. I still love creating a personalized aesthetic environment though and can't imagine actually subscribing to a minimalist design. It's usually just when I'm kinda "flirting" with my Te or actually falling into full-blown grip that I just lose all tolerance for anything that isn't serving a purpose. I don't need any of this shit, I'm not using it, it's just taking up space, throw it all AWAY. Well, if only that were fully true. There are a few things that I'd be a mess over losing, but it's not the object itself that I'm attached to but the meaning of losing it. My phone (only lifeline to contacting people I know or getting help when I'm not home), my gaming computer (first line of boredom defense, internets for research and social connection, the hard drive on which pretty much my life is stored), my car (the freedom to come and go where and when I choose), my bullet journal (the other place my life is stored, but the part of my life that has responsibilities and deadlines), and things that have one way or another become representative of someone close to me (in which I irrationally can't separate the item from the person very well, so I feel like I'm losing the person in a way). I'd also add a category that is "things that make me feel in desirable ways" like a favorite outfit, plush animal, or music album, but to a lesser degree being very replaceable, so it's only when I'm particularly stressed that I overreact to losing them.

People, I don't get attached to a lot of them, but when I do... ooh boy. It runs deep as hell. I'm still pretty aloof when it happens though because I value independence and I'm pretty rejection-sensitive. At the very beginning of a relationship, it also could be the idea of them or the feeling I'm experiencing that I'm attracted to rather than the physical person.

Places are interesting. I'm generally pretty "meh" about most locations unless the climate is a huge issue for me. Can't stand places that are too hot, humid, sunny, or otherwise inconvenient. But it's a lot like things in that it's not the specific place but the meaning. When I moved to Georgia, it became representative of everything wrong and bad in my life and the people I couldn't relate to, for instance, and Oregon representative of where I wanted to be, who I was, the people I loved, and a feeling of home, so it's the only general place on Earth I'm really attached to. And again, I'm a sucker for aesthetics and also being outdoors, so a more natural, visually appealing place is also really appreciated. As far as specifics of where I live, which city or neighborhood or complex, nah. So long as I don't feel like a total fish out of water in the culture and it's not too rural so I have convenient access to activities, stores, concert venues, airports, etc. And big enough where bumping into someone you know is a more uncommon occurrence. Some natural areas I can say I have an attachment to as well, but not to the intensity my dad does that he knows he wants his ashes spread on either a certain trail or mountain around here. I prefer the idea of that bio-degradeable coffin thing where they plant a tree on you.
 

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Sounds like you need to step out of your bubble. I felt the same until I lived abroad - then I met people who rocked my world,
some for better, some for worse.

I recently just met another I spent the ENTIRE weekend thinking about. It's actually annoying. Come to think of it, is there more room in your bubble for me? I wouldn't mind crawling back into mine...
Maybe you are right.

But on the other hand, I do meet people that I end up thinking whole weekend about. But it stops when I get to experience something new that keeps my attention.

I think this all leads up to my obsession with novelty. I hate repeating, doing the same things all over again. That's why I dislike being in the same place all the time (I'm usually at home only to sleep or for longer periods when I paint) and I go out to get new experiences.

I much prefer seeing and meeting new people every day than all the same people all the time. Of course, unless that person can really keep me excited all the time and I generally feel very good around him/her.

Once I do something, it's done and I don't want to revisit it. I find it hard to even revisit my unfinished paintings to finish them because I can't possibly get back to that moment again, and be in the right mood that I had then.
So I think this might be the reason why I don't get attached, because I'm looking for something new all the time and I easily get bored by repetition.

However, all your comments have been very different, which means this is all very individual to every INFP and isn't something that all of us can relate to. Which I think is very interesting and makes each of us unique, even though we have the same personality type :)
 

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Things: I have some attachment to things. I have a big rubbermaid bin called my nostalgia box where I keep things I don't really need but don't want to give up.

People: I'm still working on being too attached to people.

Places: like ^ but it doesn't seem as harmful.
 
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