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Ok, well what i've noticed about me personally is that i'm terrible, absolutely terrible at accepting things i don't wish to be true.

Sometimes i just 'bullshit' to cover up things that i don't want to be true. Make excuses for things that really don't need them to people who really don't care anyway, just because i don't like the real reason.

But other times, well most of the time, it just involves not being able to accept harsh realities. An example of this, as embarrassing as it is, is this; after breaking up, there was undeniable proof that my ex didn't care for me at all. But i still, in my head, tried to twist things and put crazy motives behind his every move and twist it in my mind so it seemed like everything he did was just because he did care. (i'm hoping this makes sense haha)


I think part of it is that as an INFP, i spend a lot of time inside my head as opposed to reality, and thus i'm creating my own ideal version of reality inside my mind which obviously doesn't include those parts i don't wish to accept. Also, because part of me is always hoping, despite how low my expectations of reality are.

So is this an INFP thing? Do any of you experience the same sort of problem, or are you okay at accepting things that you don't want to be true?
 

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My INFP mother is very much like this.
 
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It depends on the situation. I actually try very hard to make sense of things, and sometimes you just don't have enough info to do so, and then I may begin to read between lines & use unfounded info to form a picture that explains what happened so I can have closure and move on. I don't know if I am not accepting reality, or just trying to reconcile what I know of realiy with my feelings (and by that I mean both feeling-thoughts and emotions). In which case, it may appear I am not accepting the reality of a situation & am instead forming a new one to explain away what does not accord with how I feel. To me, I am simply trying to figure out what reality even is because I've been blindsided by it. I thought I had kept account of all the possibilities, so when something unexpected happens I'm thrown for a loop.
The good news is, as time goes on & I distance myself from my feelings of the moment, I will begin to see reality more clearly. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say.
 

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when i was in my teen years this was very true. even though i knew certain things were true, i refused to acknowledge them and stupidly clung to my fantasies. the nice thing about reality is that it never disappears even when your fantasies do.
 

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I can accept things pretty quickly in a mental way, but emotionally, it takes........quite a bit. And that's the part that matters.
 

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I believe I have a very hard time accepting things that do not agree with my ideals. I cling to my fantasies and look towards reality as a change far off in the future that I shouldn't worry my little head about right now. Thinking about it now makes me kind of sad.
 

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@CommunistSam cleffer... very cleffer...



I used to fool myself a lot in auto-response to the possibility of pain, but nowadays I just take things at face value. Meh, it's so much more troubling to go through the whole process of tricking my mind only to have it wander back to the problem again and (repeat cycle).
 

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I do this with a lot of romantic situations, and the main reason an INFP will due this is because of their sensitivity and unwillingness to feel hurt. I've read somewhere something like "If an INFP starts to see the truth of an uncomfortable or hurtful situation, they will begin to shut out the information that causes they pain." Thus, our nickname, "Pollyanna" which means someone who is optomistically blind.
 

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Well here's the difference between "not accepting reality" between my ISFJ mom and me

My mom: totally denies the truth, literally saying "no" to it. If you try to argue to make her accept it, she will get into a whole dramatic quarrel and accuse you of being cruel.

Me: tries to accept truth --> foresees its harshness/darkness --> creates a prettier version of the story to save my sanity [repeat]
 

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Interesting. I've know ESFJ's have a hard time excepting the truth, but I've never heard that with ISFJ. Though it makes sense, ISFJ's are also very sensitive.
 

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I can relate in a sense, but I actually torture myself in this regard. Sometimes there is simply not enough evidence to support a theory and so I'll consider all of the different possibilities and then go ahead and assume the worst one...because "that would be just my luck".

I can usually bring myself to accept things I don't like (with some difficulty) but only as long it is not concerning a subjective matter.
 

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But other times, well most of the time, it just involves not being able to accept harsh realities.
I've come this far that I see reality not as something harsh, but just as reality. Animals eat each other to stay alive. Humans still have that system of eating, but translated: system of walking over each others heads and kicking them at times. It's easy to think we should all be "good", because we can't even define it.

I do see difficulties with reality because, reality is mostly perceived or judged by using sensory functions. "this looks nice, sports is great, etc."

The challenge is to change that reality. But in other to change that reality nature cannot survive, and our existence still depends on nature.

We're stuck in a loophole, which is why history repeats itself and we keep getting into wars.
 
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I prefer to see things in a best-case scenario, especially if I have no proof of a worst case scenario. I think there's a negative tendency in many humans that makes us use our intuition to devise too many negative theories to fill in the gaps to stories we don't know the full facts about. The same way the story could be negative, we have to remember that it might not be as bad as it seems in our minds. To sum it up, I prefer to live up in a fantasy dreamland that I cannot confirm is true, than a fantasy nightmare that I also cannot proof.

Once I have proof the fantasy dreamland is actually the realization of my worst nightmares, though, it's all good. ^^ You live, learn, and move on. But I do identify with trying to make the facts look as beautiful as possible in my mind, to lessen the hurt- the thing is that sometimes things are not really THAT bad as "reality" is painting it in front of us. There's nothing wrong, I believe , with lessening the damage from life's crisis by maintaining a positive outlook in life.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I prefer to live up in a fantasy dreamland that I cannot confirm is true, than a fantasy nightmare that I also cannot proof.
it's definitely preferable! but coming out of that fantasy and back to reality is the hardest bit i think, worse than the reality itself.
 

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I do exactly the same thing in my love life and I've found it both a comfort and an awful awful curse. The final realization (which comes a LONG time after it should) is more painful because it was so drawn out. Plus I have to accept how much I was living in my head! I tend to make up my own reality in my own world anyway, and relationships are no exception.
 
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