[rosepetal77]

Just curious to hear about other people's experiences. Many of my family members and friends are this type and it seems like they have their whole lives perfectly planned and achieving the goals on their checklist at a rapid rate: get a job, get married, get a house with a white picket fence, have 2.5 kids, etc. etc., all before the age of 30. I couldn't be more different. I'm almost 30 and I still feel like I'm floating around trying to find myself and my life purpose. I don't even know if I want everything that comes along with a traditional life, but yet there is so much pressure to have the same goals as everyone else and achieve them by a certain time.
I guess I'm venting a little bit and I apologize, but I get tired of some of my SJ friends making me feel like I'm a kid who hasn't grown up .

 

[Oliver]

Nothing wrong with nurturing the child within. People either tend to think of me as a teenager or as a hundred year old, depending on what I say at the moment. The only thing I know is that I'm not acting according to my age.

I don't like this society we've built where success always has to be measured. For some it's money, for others it's love, marriage, the number of views on your youtube account, whatever. If people put pressure on you to "grow up" (i.e. follow the easiest path society has set up for us) it is probably they who need to grow up.

 

[brendog10]

As far as I can tell being an INFP comes with the trait of life long soul searching. So what you're saying makes sense to me. I'm 26 and still not 100% clear on where I want my life to go. I have an Idea and am moving towards a goal but I think I'll always question those ideas and goals until I stumble across what is 100% right for me.

Our society is made up of primarily SP's and SJ's they have built it to be based on accomplishments, and successes. To an INFP that is difficult to comprehend and it's hard to adjust your goals to fit what society tells you that you should want. Not to say that you should adjust your goals.

At any rate to answer your question. I think that many SP's, and SJ's see NF's not as less mature but more naive. We are dreamers, who live in a world of concepts. They are not and so we come off as strange to them. As a result I think they are prone to try and either wake us up, or treat us like children. But I wouldn't get down on myself about it. you're different but no less mature than any other type and you will find your life's purpose maybe just not on the schedule that has been decided by society as appropriate.


And no need to apologize for venting. It's welcome here anytime. This forum is so great to discuss your feelings with like minded people.

 

[LittleHawk]

All I can say is that when they're middle aged and depressed because they did what sociaty expected of them by living a 'traditional' life, you'll be enjoying yourself and be true to who you are.

Yeah - it really is tough, but sometime you have to do a really unnatural infp thing and metaphorically say 'fuck you, i dont care'.

 

[Lad]

Non-dreamers follow dreams too, even if they didn't come up with it originally.
In the same breath, I think there are many INFPs that will forever be indecisive of what they want, and are more likely to force themselves to settle with a dream that isn't completely their own, but it will take them much longer to do so.

In my world, never be complacent, never truly settle, and continually add things to your bucket list to a point of where it's impossible to complete it. When that fateful day comes when you pass on from this world, you'll still have pages of things to dream about.

 

[Elwin]

The fact that you even have an interest in “finding yourself” is itself indicative of cognitive maturity in my view, as it suggests a capacity for reflection. And reflection is something in dire need these days as people are all too often foolish with their impulse to adhere to some idealized version of how one should be, only later to find themselves in an unfulfilling relationship built on a foundation of sand, along with all the horrifying consequences that follow. Although other people may have legitimate concerns or advice to offer you, ultimately a strict reliance on external validation is an infantile trait. Take comfort in knowing you are more thoughtful.

 

[thecaterpillar]

I typically have always felt more mature than those around me. I think it all comes down to your perception of maturity. To me, maturity is learning that you can have fun and be serious at the same time, but you have to be both - you can't just have fun or just be serious. I also believe that a lot of maturity lies in caring about and understanding others and being open-minded. To never close yourself off to possibilities. And to admit when you're wrong. When I was in school, I always felt more mature than the other people around me and I was typically viewed as such. Most people thought I was more mature or grounded, so they would come to me with their problems instead of others who would give them stupid solutions or not listen to them. But, I grow more and more everyday, so I'm definitely not THAT mature.

 

[susurration]

I'm not here to be successful in conventional terms.

I'm here to experience life, self actualise, understand what the hell it means to live. What is life for a human being!? that's what I want to know. I am willingly a floater or drifter.

Reminds me of this song-

"But you calculate coincidence, and circumstance and turbulence
Gotta see what it is, and it's everything, and it's endless

'Cos baby cant see through all this matter and make up and deja vu
Yeah we drift here alone, with nothing to do
Until one of us makes the other one come true"

I go at my own pace too rosepetal. I can understand other peoples views and hesitance to accept differing approaches to life, but I most certainly also understand your own needs and tendencies. At the end of the day, this is your life, and theirs is their own.

I hope you have a fruitful journey. I certainly relate to your approach.

 

[iinnffpp]

a lot of people thought/think of my as immature. but i find many others immature too. it doesnt help that i enjoy being silly. buuuut...

there are PLENTY of immature non-infp's out there too. oh man oh man.

 

[SenhorFrio]

well i seem mature and immature in some ways...i already think about politics, death, school, marridge and all that stuff but at the same time i don't take things to seriously and i am very care-free so it's some of both!

 

[Stolen]

At any rate to answer your question. I think that many SP's, and SJ's see NF's not as less mature but more naive. We are dreamers, who live in a world of concepts. They are not and so we come off as strange to them. As a result I think they are prone to try and either wake us up, or treat us like children.

This is true for me, especially with people I'm not close to, like coworkers. I don't get called immature (if anything, people tell me I have an "old soul") but every single SP/SJ coworker thought I was incredibly naive. I never defended myself against such accusations...it's more to my advantage to seem simple on the surface.

If you see the good in people, you're considered naive. I think that's a skewed perception. Most people aren't trying to screw you over - they're just trying not to screw themselves over first. Seeing the good in people =/= being ignorant of the terrible things they can do.

One of the ways I exercise my imagination/writing is by projecting myself into the head of creepers, or trying to identify with story villians. The people who appear naive on the surface are often the most astute observers.

I get the feeling that young INFPs hear "You're really naive" from peers and "You're really mature for your age" from elders.