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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Are you comfortable asking for things? Things meaning: material stuff, favors, any kind of help...
Do you even believe you need anything from anyone?

This question came to mind today after feeling veeeeery exhausted with both sides of my family (the "other side" includes all of my in-laws). I know both sides of my family appreciate me, which I have to keep in mind in order to keep my patience, but I get irritated when every person tells me 10 times "If you need anything, call me". I always reply "Oh thank you so much, but I don't need anything". Then they say it again 15 minutes later "But if you need anything, call me, you never call me, and I'm here", and again I reply "Thank you so much, but I honestly don't need anything". On any given day I find 5 missed calls from my ISFJ mother-in-law, 2-3 missed calls from my ENFJ brother-in-law, and like 10 missed calls from my parents (my father is a very needy ISFJ, drives me crazy). Seeing all of this, and having to call everyone back out of politeness, and yet again having pointless conversations about nothing, and again the "Please call me if you need anything, I'm right here" and again me with me "Thank you, but I don't need anything". And then my mother-in-law poor thing calls my husband and their conversations end with "If entheos needs anything, tell her to call me or your dad, we'll be there" and my husband again "Okay, thank you, she says she doesn't need anything, plus I'm right here mom, she'd call me, not you". Exactly, when I need anything I call my husband, not his entourage or my family :/

The only things I feel comfortable asking for are advice and/or opinions, and information. Information in the sense of... if I have something burocratic coming up (paperwork I've never done before, or strange bills I've never dealt with before) or if I must go somewhere and I don't know where it is, I'll ask for directions.
As for advice and opinions, it is very rare that I ask with the intention of following the advice. Usually I don't. I'm just interested in human minds in general, so I just enjoy getting to know people a bit deeper by asking their opinion on things.

Is this an INFP thing? :p or is it my upbringing. I could go into my unbringing and how I was raised to be 100% independent, and every time you asked for something there were ugly consequences. But that's just a story. Maybe there's certain personalities more inclined to be independent, to their own detriment sometimes...? Honestly I even feel guilty if anybody wants to help me with anything. My ENFJ brother-in-law who is an accountant wanted to do my taxes earlier this year and I felt so so so guilty I couldn't let him, and I realized how insane I was because I'm 100% terrible at taxes, but I had this battle inside me that it would be a chore for him, when in fact he's the one who called me to do them for me. Sometimes I need a car ride somewhere and my mom will offer, and I feel sooooo bad I tell her no, and I take public transport. The few times when I do accept help against my wishes, I feel terrible inside.
And the thing is, for some reason, 99.9% of the time I truly am convinced that I don't need anything from anyone.

How about you INFPs?
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