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I've been sorta seeing someone for almost a year now. We've been going super slow, which has been a new--and wonderful--experience for me. In recent months it's been getting more serious. We're both really intense people, so it's amazing. He's finally opening up to me.
My question is, sometimes his behavior confuses me. He won't contact me for days, but then when he does, it's like no time elapsed at all. He's super, super busy, and he's definitely an introvert, so I understand that he needs his alone time. But it does scare me sometimes. When I bring it up, he doesn't understand why I got scared at all--he's just "going slow" and he doesn't want to have to reassure me all the time. And I totally understand that too! But...sometimes it does little to allay my fears... I have to work hard to keep the fears to myself--it doesn't look attractive if I come off as "love me! love me!"
Also, sometimes when I share something deeply personal, he doesn't respond quite the way I expect. Like he's not quite as affirming with words the way some people I know are. He doesn't say something like, "Wow, that must have been tough" or "I'm so sorry about that." I know he's listening, but I just...want some more verbal feedback, especially if I get teary-eyed. You know?
That said, when he holds me/hugs me, I can totally feel how deeply he cares for me. And when that happens, I think, "Hah! What the hell was I worried about? I am so silly!"
I'm thinking those are both just aspects of his personality. If I knew his MBTI type, maybe that would reassure me that it's just him being him, and we're just different. As opposed to we're incompatible.
But he's said that he's taken the MBTI multiple times and it's "in between the letters on all but one" and so he doesn't think it's "an effective tool" for understanding him. I totally understand his point of view, but I just feel like..."hey, I want more information on you--why you are the way you are/why you do the things you do."
Am I crazy to want this? How do I explain this to him? Or should I? Do other INFPs experience this?
Thanks
My question is, sometimes his behavior confuses me. He won't contact me for days, but then when he does, it's like no time elapsed at all. He's super, super busy, and he's definitely an introvert, so I understand that he needs his alone time. But it does scare me sometimes. When I bring it up, he doesn't understand why I got scared at all--he's just "going slow" and he doesn't want to have to reassure me all the time. And I totally understand that too! But...sometimes it does little to allay my fears... I have to work hard to keep the fears to myself--it doesn't look attractive if I come off as "love me! love me!"
Also, sometimes when I share something deeply personal, he doesn't respond quite the way I expect. Like he's not quite as affirming with words the way some people I know are. He doesn't say something like, "Wow, that must have been tough" or "I'm so sorry about that." I know he's listening, but I just...want some more verbal feedback, especially if I get teary-eyed. You know?
That said, when he holds me/hugs me, I can totally feel how deeply he cares for me. And when that happens, I think, "Hah! What the hell was I worried about? I am so silly!"
I'm thinking those are both just aspects of his personality. If I knew his MBTI type, maybe that would reassure me that it's just him being him, and we're just different. As opposed to we're incompatible.
But he's said that he's taken the MBTI multiple times and it's "in between the letters on all but one" and so he doesn't think it's "an effective tool" for understanding him. I totally understand his point of view, but I just feel like..."hey, I want more information on you--why you are the way you are/why you do the things you do."
Am I crazy to want this? How do I explain this to him? Or should I? Do other INFPs experience this?
Thanks