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How have you learned to cope, to endure, to heal? It's like overwhelming positive emotions are great, but then we get the equal and opposite overwhelming negative emotions.... I actually don't even like labeling them that way, as there is positive and negative to both sides of the spectrum, but it seems like pain is the most debilitating and destructive. So, how do you deal with emotional pain?
 

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A lot of times I use art to deal with pain - making art (painting/writing), listening to music, looking at art, etc. Journaling (either using writing or art) helps me a lot. If there's some problem I'm dealing with, I tend to kind of avoid that problem, but reminding myself to face those problems sort of helps. If there's someone I can talk to, that helps. Sometimes I do something physical stuff like working out, yoga or taking a bath to make myself feel better. I also remind myself the feeling will past and negative emotional pain is just part of life.
 

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"How do you go about existing?" Umm... very carefully...

It really depends on the source, or what the thing is about, or the magnitude, etc. Almost everything is related to this in some sense. I don't suppose you could be more specific?

I guess you could say it's an art, and not everything I paint is a masterpiece. It's not easy to explain...
 

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I vacillate between rejecting any and all pain (I'm an Enneagram 9) to running head-long into it, keeping it right beneath the surface at all times. Eventually when it becomes apparent that I must deal with the pain, I try to find a song that speaks to how I'm feeling and listen to it repeatedly. Crying in the shower is cathartic, too. But the most effective way for me? Time. Time has been the only thing that really numbs the deep, overwhelming pain. Don't get me wrong, it's still there, but it becomes more manageable and not as all-encompassing.

Learning that time is an effective way to deal with emotional pain has been relatively easy. Accepting it has been a different story.
 
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I just feel. I try not to get into labeling things. Sometimes when I feel down I try to map things out and come to a conclusion. It's always counter productive. The labels I find always fall short. I think being like an infp is like being alice in wonderland. You always find yourself in a new room (meaning metaphorical emotional room)I find myself in a new room all the time. I may notice a lamp that was sitting there before but the furniture is never quite the same. When I'm sad.... sometimes... I'll fixate on it. I will stay in the same room because I feel like there is something in the room I am missing. I try to "fix" the pain. When the truth is... the pain shouldn't be "fixed". It should be acknowledged and felt and then moved on. I simply experience the pain and then move into another room. It's all part of meaning. This pain felt right now accentuates the joy I will feel soon. They go hand in hand. They need no fixing or figuring out. Just be sure to continue to not analyze or make sense of things... don't try to come to logical conclusions.... don't judge yourself.... don't make assumptions about how crappy you are for feeling this way. This is all stuff I tell myself but it may not work for you. Hope it helps though.
 

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Any sort of release. Often, I try to distract myself as soon as possible, because once my emotional self kicks in, all logic is thrown out the window, and I'll have to persuade myself not to resort to drastic deeds. Which is hard once you're in that crazy state of mind. However, once I'm calmer, I try to run, read, or write/make something.
 

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I just endure it. I don't get pleasure out of it, but there's something about it that just makes me feel alive. I'd rather feel these negative emotions every once in a while than not feel anything at all, that would be BORING. in my opinion, for every bad emotion there is a good one of equal value to balance it out. i think we are naturally bipolar (type 2) this way because we feel things so deeply that they affect our moods greatly.
 
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Our heart is like our body in that when our body is in pain, it means something caused it, and there is a desire to fix it, and a need to fix it. The desire doesn't always lead to meeting the need. Take heartburn, for example. That is painful, and when it happens, the first thing most people think of doing is to pop an antacid. The pain goes away, but the body's need wasn't met. The body's heartburn reaction was due to a condition of the body from either eating habits, other habits, or contributing factors over time, not an antacid deficiency. The desire to alleviate pain often looks for the quickest alleviator, not the most effective and thorough, understandably. The need of the body in such a case may be to simply not eat so much junk food, especially before reclining!

So it is with emotional pain. Something caused it, there are different factors involved, and there is a desire of the person to have the pain go away, as well as the need itself. When I deal with emotional pain, I first try to let myself feel it. My impulse is to instantly try to translate the actual feelings into reason before the feelings express themselves, a ploy of my mind to protect me from the pain, and uncomfortable realizations. But when I feel the emotions, I let myself recognize what it is that is hurting (I feel lonely), and let it just enlarge itself into the feelings, and often the feelings bring in the further hurts and reasons for the hurts like the ocean tide brings shells to the seashore (People just don't understand me!). Now is not the time to look at the sensibility of my emotions and reason them through...I need to let the emotions present themselves through my feelings, and give them a chance to make themselves known, for they are a part of me, whether I acknowledge them or not. Then as the emotions and pain level out a bit, I have things to work with. I was honest with myself. Maybe during this emotional session after exclaiming that no one understands me I may sob, "I just can't seem to trust anyone! I don't know how!" Well, right there, was a gift. My emotions brought in a whale carcass. Now I know what I need to focus on...not just the legitimacy of my feelings themselves, but the root of the problem, trust. Now I can reason it through, and discover where my feelings may be misleading (because they many times are). What I need is trust. If I learn to trust myself, and to trust others, I can share myself with others better and become understood and understand others, and my loneliness won't be as much of a problem. And so forth...

That's the basic idea.
 

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In general, one or more of these things:
  • I found out why I feel how I do, the underlying issues, and resolve them.
  • I find out what thoughts have led to the emotion and choose to select different thoughts to lead to better emotions.
  • I write about it a lot until I have it sorted and dealt with in my head.
  • I talk about it with someone, one person at a time, until it changes.
 
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Eat candy, fight with inanimate objects, distract myself with emotional entertainment, analyze why I'm feeling this way and try to reason why I shouldn't (never works), find solitude so I can yell and cry, vent on P-cafe, and um... well.. have imaginary sex (-:
 

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I find a suitable outlet for me to be able to express my emotions in a creative or potentially inspiring manner. I use my intuition a lot, to the point that I don't even care if I look a bit crazy.
 

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The worst is when it's something that you can't do anything about. I just sort of shut down until it passes.
 

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Don't reject it. Don't say "I don't want this". Don't run from it. Accept it. Truly feel it, and truly accept it. Think about all the things you've been through, think about what other people on this planet have gone through and survived.
Clench your fists and then release them. Keep breathing. Know that you can accept it and you can move through it, because to suffer is to be human, and you can let it go.
 

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Emotional pain- like if someone I'm close to in my family dies or there is some loss, my first reaction is to cry like a rainstorm & howl like the wind. I usually have to take the day to stay off the roads or stay inside, because my mind will be a bit drained & numbed. Then I start to take care of myself. I protect myself from too much distractions, so I can think & think & think and get my legs back underneath me. If it is a death- - I must continue on, get back to what is normal & good for me. Hence...I move forward & accept the loss.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Thanks everyone! I had an epiphany of my own this morning that I want to share too- I had a dream about a hummingbird last night, I tried to catch it (I'm good at catching birds IRL), and I felt how fragile and delicate it was in my hands, so I just loosened my grasp and let it go. Then when I woke up, I googled Hummingbird Medicine (I like to look up the archetypal meaning of certain animals when I have dreams or experiences with them) and it really resonated, especially this part:

Because Hummingbird is so tireless in their pursuit of Joy and all that is Good, it behooves us to follow Hummingbird's example. Too often many humans seem to be in greater pursuit of misery than Joy. And Hummingbird would really like to know why! Why is it so many of us do find it easier to focus on all that is wrong and then say we can do nothing about it, instead of focusing on what is right and then asking how we can help that Good to grow. For we can change anything we put our hearts and minds to! Yes it make take time, sometimes a very long time. Yes it may seem like very hard work with no guarantee of success. Yes it may seem we are trying to move a mountain with a puny shovel we got at the beach one summer afternoon. Yet if we listen to Hummingbird, we will remember that we too came in with all the tools and power and abilities as that which so lovingly created us.
When we approach a problem or challenge with Love, it dissolves in the face of the Higher Love vibration for this too is Universal Law. Anything we seek to Be, Have or Do, if we send Love forth first, it always insures that our Vibration is in alignment with experiencing the very best that life has to offer. Our creativity flows when Love is present.
Hummingbird Medicine

It reminds me of the idea of serving God with joy, no matter what we're facing in life. Somehow it does seem to realign our vision, keep things in perspective. This worked for me this time around, it's like the bars have dissolved, though I still feel and am dealing with the various forces that were causing me pain, I'm still feeling the pain even, but it's no longer overwhelming. I know there have been times I've told myself this and it didn't work, tried to remind myself to keep joy in my heart, but I couldn't feel it. Maybe in reminding ourselves, we at least create the space in our hearts for joy to fill, even if it's not always instantaneous.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I think the main thing I was doing wrong was holding too tightly to what I thought would bring me joy, when I needed to let it go, to be free- not something I am to keep to myself. Actually, that seems to be the underlying theme to a lot of things in my life right now.
 

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Our heart is like our body in that when our body is in pain, it means something caused it, and there is a desire to fix it, and a need to fix it. The desire doesn't always lead to meeting the need. Take heartburn, for example. That is painful, and when it happens, the first thing most people think of doing is to pop an antacid. The pain goes away, but the body's need wasn't met. The body's heartburn reaction was due to a condition of the body from either eating habits, other habits, or contributing factors over time, not an antacid deficiency. The desire to alleviate pain often looks for the quickest alleviator, not the most effective and thorough, understandably. The need of the body in such a case may be to simply not eat so much junk food, especially before reclining!
I never thought about it this way, great perspective!
 

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I mainly journel to get all of the thoughts out of my head. While journaling, I listen to music that suits my mood. Other than that I get away for a bit. I go for a walk/hike or take a drive. When I can, I escape to my girlfriends place or friends house to talk. Right now I am looking into seeing a counselor at my university. I had a counselor in the past at a different collge and he really helped me to get me back on my feet mentally.
 

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The worst is when it's something that you can't do anything about. I just sort of shut down until it passes.
That is exactly what I do. Like for example when I know my girl is hurting and she is so far away from me that I can not do everything for her that I want to do.

Up to a point I can go on as usual but when it gets real stressful I feel like I want to shut out the whole world and go into hibernation.
 

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Up to a point I can go on as usual but when it gets real stressful I feel like I want to shut out the whole world and go into hibernation.
For me, when it hits the point that there's absolutely nothing in the world that I can do, this is what happens.
 
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