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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
INFP: Most Judgmental Type? | Marmalade

I found this article to be oddly accurate

INFPs can judge quickly because we are so capable of assessing people quickly. An INFP looks past the superficial and looks straight into the souls of other people… or that is how it can feel like to the INFP. If an INFP feels they can’t sense the true self of the other, they won’t trust that person and probably will suspect the person is hiding something. INFPs are very aware of facades and social personas which are seen as meaningless at best and deceptive at worst.

INFPs are sensitive, territorial, personal, self-aware, and perceptive… and so defensive of what we know at a deep level. INFPs are so “self” aware that we often feel we’re more aware of others than others are of themselves. INFPs have a strong sense of the individual, be it the INFP’s sense of their own individuality or the individuality of others. And INFPs are very aware of relationships between individuals, hyper-aware even… all the while being super sensitive about group dynamics which often are responded to negatively if they feel intrusive. An extreme INFP can be neurotically aware of everything around them… every little nuance in the environment will be felt… or else the INFP will become shut down completely and focus entirely inward which will probably just make them all the more sensitive to every tiny perceived intrusion.

The INFP thinks of self in terms of self-honoring, self-loving, self-honoring and self-respect, but a different type may perceive an INFPs self-focus as selfish (as INFPs aren’t always known for being outwardly responsible types). INFPs hold authenticity above almost all else, and any perceived inauthenticity is utterly unforgivable.

They’re judgmental of others in the same way that they’re also judgmental of themselves. An INFP’s moral code, their deepest value is felt as an absolute truth. If this deepest level of their self is transgressed, their only choice is to fight back or else feel broken. Considering how difficult it is for an INFP to fight back and win in an ESTJ world, many INFPs feel broken.

INFPs hate conflict (although may feel invigorated by a righteous cause). Black and white thinking is a particular issue with INFPs, and as Te is their inferior/aspirational it’s easy for an INFP when stressed to fall into black and white thinking themselves. For an INFP, there is an absolute right and wrong and INFPs are very talented at discerning subtle moral complexities… but this ability gets undermined when they get pulled into their inferior, when they are ‘in the grip’. There is a contradition within INFPs. They can be the most empathetic, most understanding, most compassionate type you will ever meet… but get on the wrong side of them or catch them in the wrong mood, and you will see the face of absolute judgment or even righteous vengeance.

The odd thing about INFPs is that normally we appear as extremely laid back (when not stressed). When feeling safe and in our own comfort zone, we are the prototype of laid back. INFPs don’t want to cause waves unnecessarily. We save our energy for the important things which are rare. Most things just don’t matter. We care about the deep issues and not the everyday superficial conflicts (although these everyday events certainly can demoralize the INFP). Because INFPs want to go with the flow, we tend hide our deepest values until someone encroaches on them… and, when that happens, they will know in the clearest of terms. INFPs can hold a grudge and you may not even know why (even if you realize such a grudge exists). An INFP might not even consider you worthy of an explanation or they just assume you should know as they know. An INFPs isn’t necessarily trying to play mind-games and INFPs do value honesty, but their strong sense of privacy can create an aloofness (or at least what appears as aloofness to other types).

INFPs are so hidden and we can express ourselves so subtly that it’s easy for other types to be completely confused. INFPs are so capable of looking past the facades of others for the very reason that INFPs are so capable of putting up their own facades. INFPs, in self-defense, often don’t want others to be able to read them. You have to earn an INFP’s trust for them to let you enter their world and their world is vast. And once you earn their trust, beware anyone who betrays it.
There is a bit more in the article and people responding. I think there is a lot of truth to this. INFPs are often thought as the least judgmental types, in some ways we are but I think it's more we give people breaks because we know life can be tough. We empathize and listen, but inside we still judge, quite critically.

Thoughts? INFPs do you see yourselves in this article? I do!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I definitely see a lot the INFPs that I know IRL in that article.... But I also see a lot of myself, as well as other INFJs I know. Maybe we have more in common than we thought! :0
I think so too! I used to think I was an INFJ because I am good at predicting outcomes and can use Fe if needed, I'm also a bit "edgier" than some INFPs on this board which I'm not saying is an INFJ trait more so that I sometimes think I don't fit in. I'm like the black sheep of the INFP family lol.

I think it's extremely hard to discriminate between the two types!

I loved this article, when I read it I was like YES! I'm surprised other INFPs haven't made any comments. Maybe they think it's too harsh because they don't want to see themselves as judgmental? I am extremely tolerant of people but inside I do judge, but it takes a lot for me to shun someone. I rather get along than not.

The part about Te is so true when I feel threatened or one of my values is attacked. I get really stubborn in the "I'm right and you are wrong" type of way and there is no budging.

I also like how they discuss how it's an ESTJ world and Fi is not valued very much.
 

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The most "judgmental" type is surely any J-lead. INFP included. I don't see why INFPs would be more judgmental than other J-leads; although all 8 of those types would direct their judgments in a different way. It's possible that INFPs have a more noticeably judgmental nature - or alternatively, you're misunderstanding how the system works.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
The most "judgmental" type is surely any J-lead. INFP included. I don't see why INFPs would be more judgmental than other J-leads; although all 8 of those types would direct their judgments in a different way. It's possible that INFPs have a more noticeably judgmental nature - or alternatively, you're misunderstanding how the system works.
Hmm, I think you may have just replied without fully reading the article, I do that too. It says we are more inwardly judgmental of ourselves and others. My ENTJ husband who I confide in often thinks I can be a harsh judger, I keep this part of me secret as much as I can.

My inferior Te can be quite cruel and unrelenting compared to Te-doms who use it much more efficiently.
 

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Hmm, I think you may have just replied without fully reading the article, I do that too. It says we are more inwardly judgmental of ourselves and others. My ENTJ husband who I confide in often thinks I can be a harsh judger, I keep this part of me secret as much as I can.

My inferior Te can be quite cruel and unrelenting compared to Te-doms who use it much more efficiently.
I think you're misunderstanding the word "judgmental." Judgmental is passing down judgment. By passing down judgment, a system grows and takes shape. It's a way of living. Whenever you use judgment, you are being judgmental.

I think you're looking for a different word. Critical, perhaps.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I think you're misunderstanding the word "judgmental." Judgmental is passing down judgment. By passing down judgment, a system grows and takes shape. It's a way of living. Whenever you use judgment, you are being judgmental.

I think you're looking for a different word. Critical, perhaps.
Critical works too. The definition of judgmental (which is an adjective not a verb like you are describing): "Having or displaying an excessively critical point of view". So judgment still fits.

Also, critical is a synonym of judgmental (sorry to be pedantic)
 

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Critical works too. The definition of judgmental (which is an adjective not a verb like you are describing): "Having or displaying an excessively critical point of view". So judgment still fits.
Judgmental means excessively engaging in the action of judgment. Not a problem, at all. It's just important that an adjective's meaning is established, since it is useless on its own. You can have a sentence without an adjective. You can't have a sentence without a verb, though.

But no, I still don't think INFPs are the most judgmental type. Perhaps because you are an INFP, you recognise that you are judgmental and perhaps don't perceive other J-leads as being judgmental. But they are judgmental. Take IxTPs, who are known for judging everything via an internal logical analysis - and deciding whether a piece of logic is worth holding in their system or not. What isn't, is judged un-necessary and discarded - rather akin to the "Bad nuts" contraption in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I don't see how that's less judgmental than what you've stated in the OP.

And a Je-lead? Well, they're judgmental as well. Only their judgment revolves around an external system.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
There is different types of judging like you said. I used the same title of the article as my thread title. Maybe since INFPs are often thought of as nonjudgmental they used it to get attention. All types judge differently because everyone judges, but the article struck a chord. I think it would be difficult to say who judges the most to be honest. All the quotes I put from the article (which was about 95%) I identified with completely.
 

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The following are from the Free Online Dictionary (Dictionary, Encyclopedia and Thesaurus - The Free Dictionary)
Judgmental
 
American Heritage Dictionary
1. Of, relating to, or dependent on judgment: a judgmental error.

2. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones: a marriage counselor who tries not to be judgmental.

Collins English Dictionary
1. of or denoting an attitude in which judgments about other people's conduct are made

Webster’s College Dictionary
1. involving the exercise of judgment.

2. tending to make judgments, esp. moral judgments.

Critical
 
American Heritage Dictionary
1. Inclined to judge severely and find fault.

2. Characterized by careful, exact evaluation and judgment: a critical reading.

3. Of, relating to, or characteristic of critics or criticism: critical acclaim; a critical analysis of Melville's writings.

4. Forming or having the nature of a turning point; crucial or decisive: a critical point in the campaign.

Collins English Dictionary
1. containing or making severe or negative judgments

2. containing careful or analytical evaluations: a critical dissertation.

3. of or involving a critic or criticism

Webster’s College Dictionary
1. inclined to find fault or to judge severely.

2. occupied with or skilled in criticism.

3. involving or requiring skillful judgment as to truth, merit, etc.

4. of or pertaining to critics or criticism: critical essays.

There were more definitions offered for critical that I thought were inapplicable to this discussion. As such I have not listed them here.


There seems to be a sense of morality associated with the term “judgmental” that is lacking in “critical”. If you will the former term appears to be a more Feeling term and the latter a more Thinking term. My sense is that the author and OP have that same association in mind.

I would agree that the Judging doms as a collective by definition would judge (evaluate, decide), but some would favor review apart from moral correctness while others would focus on that quality. [For example, suppose somebody sells two items listed as $2 each but collects $5. One might concern herself/himself with primarily the faulty logic: 2 + 2 ≠5. Another might concern herself/himself with primarily the injustice of the situation.] Perhaps instead of considering INFP against all Judging doms it would be better to compare and contrast against the other Feeling doms: ExFJ’s and ISFP.

Of the group ESFJ, ENFJ, ISFP, & INFP, are people who consider themselves to be INFP the most judgmental (judging especially regarding moral right and wrong)? Or is being judgmental unassociated or perhaps only loosely associated (a proclivity) with type?
 

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There were some things that really resonated with me, especially concerning constantly evaluating--including self, and all too frequently found wanting :unsure:--concerning a thing/person being righteous or corrupt, moral or immoral. Then there is this:
INFPs can judge quickly because we are so capable of accessing people quickly. An INFP looks past the superficial and looks straight into the souls of other people… or that is how it can feel like to the INFP. If an INFP feels they can’t sense the true self of the other, they won’t trust that person and probably will suspect the person is hiding something. INFPs are very aware of facades and social personas which are seen as meaningless at best and deceptive at worst.
Regarding the first sentence, I'm not sure that the author meant to use "accessing" or rather "assessing". I think that I would disagree with the sentence as presented (accessing). If the author meant "assessing", then I would better agree with the following statement: INFP's judge and assess people quickly. Whether it is done well or leads to good and accurate conclusions is beside the point. It just is what happens. There may not be a sense of finality with the conclusion, but a "working definition" is quickly established for continued review.

I do pick up on inconsistencies between what people say and what they do. That usually causes me at least to go to yellow alert if not red alert. I tend to be wary of people that seem to do the social chameleon thing toward the perceived goal of manipulating some event.

The following records what I more fully resonate with:
INFPs know their values strongly and are very clear in their feelings. They’re judgmental of others in the same way that they’re also judgmental of themselves. An INFP’s moral code, their deepest value is felt as an absolute truth. They would sacrifice everything including their life if challenged at this most fundamental level. If this deepest level of their self is transgressed, their only choice is to fight back or else feel broken. Considering how difficult it is for an INFP to fight back and win in an ESTJ world, many INFPs feel broken.

INFPs are the idealists, the artists, and the lovers of the world. INFPs hate conflict (although may feel invigorated by a righteous cause). Black and white thinking is a particular issue with INFPs, and as Te is their inferior/aspirational it’s easy for an INFP when stressed to fall into black and white thinking themselves. For an INFP, there is an absolute right and wrong and INFPs are very talented at discerning subtle moral complexities…
 
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Gee yet another "most" post!
Most judgmental about what?
I'll think you will find that you have a too narrow view on being judgmental.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Gee yet another "most" post!
Most judgmental about what?
I'll think you will find that you have a too narrow view on being judgmental.
I read the article, felt I had a lot in common with it and used the same title to catch attention in hopes people would actually read it and give me feedback. It didn't make me feel defensive, I found it rather intriguing. I think you are being a bit judgmental ;).
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
There were some things that really resonated with me, especially concerning constantly evaluating--including self, and all too frequently found wanting :unsure:--concerning a thing/person being righteous or corrupt, moral or immoral. Then there is this:

Regarding the first sentence, I'm not sure that the author meant to use "accessing" or rather "assessing". I think that I would disagree with the sentene as presented (accessing). If the author meant "assessing", then I would better agree with the following statement: INFP's judge and assess people quickly. Whether it is done well or leads to good and accurate conclusions is beside the point. It just is what happens. There may not be a sense of finality with the conclusion, but a "working definition" is quickly established for continued review.

I do pick up on inconsistencies between what people say and what they do. That usually causes me at least to go to yellow alert if not red alert. I tend to be wary of people that seem to do the social chameleon thing toward the perceived goal of manipulating some event.

The following records what I more fully resonate with:
Thank you for your response it was very thoughtful (you pick up on details very well) and I agree that they meant assessing. That's how I read it and completely missed the spelling error, I just fixed it. I accidentally somehow didn't include the part of your quote that I liked the most. Thank you again!!
 

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I read the article, felt I had a lot in common with it and used the same title to catch attention in hopes people would actually read it and give me feedback. It didn't make me feel defensive, I found it rather intriguing. I think you are being a bit judgmental ;).
Yeah I'm judgmental on purpose to show the error in the title.

I can't really see how this is unique to INFPs.
I skimmed the text real quick and most of the broad generalizations apply to ISFPs as well.
Making it even more erroneus and even more all hail the special snowflake INFPs.
It was also too broad encrouching on the instinctual types without merit.
No big news there though as MBTI profiles always go way beyond the Jungian model
in an insecure effort to weigh up for their crappy implementation of Jung.
 

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Note this ...

First off, Vicky Jo also says that Beebe considers Fi the least understood function-attitude. So, there may be good reason that INFPs are or appear judgmental. John Giannini claims our whole society is oriented towards ESTJ and he claims that Jung thought this societal tendency started back in second century Christianity. We INFPs have been oppressed for a long time. Yes, we INFPs are prone to being judmental… especially we male INFPs as ESTJ is the ultimate ideal of masculinity.
... and follow it up with Mike's take on ******* and anti-Semitism. Do you think the article is INFP specific? I could underline large portions of this article because this is how I feel when I'm disenchanted. And I've never considered myself anything but an ENxP. Could this be an jaded NF thing?


ps, Did you notice the article misspelled judgemental every single time, yet they spelled judgement correctly? Freudian?
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Yeah I'm judgmental on purpose to show the error in the title.

I can't really see how this is unique to INFPs.
I skimmed the text real quick and most of the broad generalizations apply to ISFPs as well.
Making it even more erroneus and even more all hail the special snowflake INFPs.
It was also too broad encrouching on the instinctual types without merit.
No big news there though as MBTI profiles always go way beyond the Jungian model
in an insecure effort to weigh up for their crappy implementation of Jung.
Yuck! Maybe I'm not an INFP. Good Lord...
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Note this ...



... and follow it up with Mike's take on ******* and anti-Semitism. Do you think the article is INFP specific? I could underline large portions of this article because this is how I feel when I'm disenchanted. And I've never considered myself anything but an ENxP. Could this be an jaded NF thing?


ps, Did you notice the article misspelled judgemental every single time, yet they spelled judgement correctly? Freudian?
Yes I definitely think it's catered to disenchanted NFs, but sooner or later all NFs will become that way at some point in their life. Not saying they will stay that way. I don't consider what was said to be that negative to be honest. It's just one part of me, it doesn't define me. People are flexible.

I didn't even look at the video, tried but it's 20 minutes! Will do later.
 

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I do. I relate to it.

though I want to add in this part of "In self-defense, don't want others to be able to read them. You have to earn their trust for them to let you enter their world and their world is vast". I once said the same thing to my INTJ buddy and she said it's the same thing for her. But she uttered that "You INFPs are still complicated even when you let someone in. It's like your inner world has multiple rooms and you arranged which room is for whom. It's different room for me and of course different room for other.As for me, when I let someone in, I open the only one room for real and I provide all of my inner world information"
 
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