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Discussion Starter #1
Basically what the title says, how do you guys feel about ISTPs and our... sort of rebellious nature. I mean we aren't immoral but we certainly don't follow the conventional view of the world, we live by our own morals as opposed to that of society I guess.

Anyway as I asked how do you guys view us? Any likes or dislikes about us? Or just a solid meh?
 

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ISTPs are totally badass :cool:

I don't have many experiences with you guys but I dated one of you once. It was weird, because we seemed similar in many ways, but just had no idea how to communicate with one another. We were also new to relationships so had no idea what we were doing in that arena, so naturally it was a colossal fail. He's a great person though. Really cool, calm, smart. Love the independent streak.

So I'm not sure if I'd do the whole romantic thing again (though I find myself very sexually attracted to all xSTPs most of the time), but I'd love to have an ISTP friend.
 

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I fell HARD for an ISTP chick in college, but the more I got to know her, the less I was drawn to her magnetic force field. The sexual attraction was there, though, and would always be there. She was physically gorgeous, but she kinda lost me with the personality. I could see myself marrying someone like her and living in regret for the rest of my life because I thought with my penis and not my brain.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
ISTPs are totally badass :cool:

I don't have many experiences with you guys but I dated one of you once. It was weird, because we seemed similar in many ways, but just had no idea how to communicate with one another. We were also new to relationships so had no idea what we were doing in that arena, so naturally it was a colossal fail. He's a great person though. Really cool, calm, smart. Love the independent streak.

So I'm not sure if I'd do the whole romantic thing again (though I find myself very sexually attracted to all xSTPs most of the time), but I'd love to have an ISTP friend.
Heh thanks for the compliment!

Hm I've never understood the idea of the communication barrier, I haven't really faced that issue with anyone so it's perplexing to me when people talk of Ts not being able to communicate well with Fs and vice versa, what's that all about?

I've read before people saying that they'd love an ISTP friend but having a relationship with one is questionable, it seems an ISTP friend with "benefits" is quite sought after XD.

I like INFPs, I haven't met any so far that I don't like they all seem very... chill I guess is the right word and I like it. You guys are great.

Just a quick side note, ahem that's a really nice avatar.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I fell HARD for an ISTP chick in college, but the more I got to know her, the less I was drawn to her magnetic force field. The sexual attraction was there, though, and would always be there. She was physically gorgeous, but she kinda lost me with the personality. I could see myself marrying someone like her and living in regret for the rest of my life because I thought with my penis and not my brain.
What was it about the personality didn't you like? I'm not bothered or annoyed or anything I'm just curious, maybe it's something I do that could be worked on. Whilst I don't care what others think of me if it's something detrimental to my relationships I'll definitely work on it.
 

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What was it about the personality didn't you like? I'm not bothered or annoyed or anything I'm just curious, maybe it's something I do that could be worked on.
She just seemed like she didn't have a heart! And the feelings that she [was] showing me just seemed fake, idk.
 

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They fascinate me. I don't think I could be in a romantic relationship with one, but I sure as hell could be friends with one or get to know one. I have a friend who I'm pretty sure is ISTP, and I could listen to him for hours. I think my brother might also be ISTP, but I'm not entirely sure. When we were kids, we fought a lot, because I had very strong values and he got a kick out of taking them apart and basically saying they were stupid. Now we get along great.
ISTPs are the sort of people who'd be my "mysterious stranger." The sort of person I'd see all the time at my favorite restaurant or in a class I'd decide to take, but I'd never approach them. I'd just watch them and be fascinated by them and always wonder about what they were like. Or they'd be the type I'd eventually befriend under the right circumstances and enjoy finding out their views on life, but I'd have to be really comfortable with them before I'd really let them in. (NFs have a much easier time gaining my trust, unless there's something off about them) With an ISTP, I'd have to know him/her well enough to know that they wouldn't rip my innermost thoughts about if I shared them. But if I gained the actual respect of an ISTP, I'd be pretty damn proud of myself.
 

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Hm I've never understood the idea of the communication barrier, I haven't really faced that issue with anyone so it's perplexing to me when people talk of Ts not being able to communicate well with Fs and vice versa, what's that all about?
You know, it could have been related to type, enneagram, maturity levels, anything. I still don't entirely understand what went wrong, because our communication was terrible. I'd go on nursing hurts that were never addressed, and they'd keep cropping up when I was hurt again. In conflict, I wanted to talk things through, while he preferred to retreat and have a "everything will be ok in the morning" kind of attitude.

At the same time he was holding onto some things that I had said/done to hurt him, yet he never really brought them up until I broke up with him haha. I think he needed space to process/forgive but he never really got that (a fault of both of ours; as incompatible as we were, we spent a lot of time together, even if we were just laying in my bed on our laptops). I'm not sure entirely what was going on on his side. I do regret I didn't take more time to understand his needs.

But again we were both pretty immature. I'm sure we could have communicated more effectively and taught each other more with more experience under our belts. Just like everyone says, "Any two healthy people/types can get along in a relationship!!" Though yeah.. a FWB situation with an ISTP I can imagine would be really fun.

Just a quick side note, ahem that's a really nice avatar.
Right?? She's a dream.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
She just seemed like she didn't have a heart! And the feelings that she [was] showing me just seemed fake, idk.
The whole thing about feelings seeming fake I can understand, ISTPs do have this thing I've seen were they can't express how they feel very well so it can come off as fake.

What do you mean by she didn't seem to have a heart? Did she seem like she didn't care for others?
 

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Just curious, is there any particular reason you're asking? Is there a new INFP in your life in some way?
 

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Discussion Starter #11
They fascinate me. I don't think I could be in a romantic relationship with one, but I sure as hell could be friends with one or get to know one. I have a friend who I'm pretty sure is ISTP, and I could listen to him for hours. I think my brother might also be ISTP, but I'm not entirely sure. When we were kids, we fought a lot, because I had very strong values and he got a kick out of taking them apart and basically saying they were stupid. Now we get along great.
ISTPs are the sort of people who'd be my "mysterious stranger." The sort of person I'd see all the time at my favorite restaurant or in a class I'd decide to take, but I'd never approach them. I'd just watch them and be fascinated by them and always wonder about what they were like. Or they'd be the type I'd eventually befriend under the right circumstances and enjoy finding out their views on life, but I'd have to be really comfortable with them before I'd really let them in. (NFs have a much easier time gaining my trust, unless there's something off about them) With an ISTP, I'd have to know him/her well enough to know that they wouldn't rip my innermost thoughts about if I shared them. But if I gained the actual respect of an ISTP, I'd be pretty damn proud of myself.
Could you elaborate on "Rip my innermost thoughts about." please? And an easy way to gain the respect of an ISTP is to just be respectful towards them, we're easy going people by nature so if you are chill with us then it's cool, you don't have to do some kind of amazing thing to get our attention, well there are exceptions as there are with every personality, but for the most part I just think it's about being polite with one another.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
You know, it could have been related to type, enneagram, maturity levels, anything. I still don't entirely understand what went wrong, because our communication was terrible. I'd go on nursing hurts that were never addressed, and they'd keep cropping up when I was hurt again. In conflict, I wanted to talk things through, while he preferred to retreat and have a "everything will be ok in the morning" kind of attitude.

At the same time he was holding onto some things that I had said/done to hurt him, yet he never really brought them up until I broke up with him haha. I think he needed space to process/forgive but he never really got that (a fault of both of ours; as incompatible as we were, we spent a lot of time together, even if we were just laying in my bed on our laptops). I'm not sure entirely what was going on on his side. I do regret I didn't take more time to understand his needs.

But again we were both pretty immature. I'm sure we could have communicated more effectively and taught each other more with more experience under our belts. Just like everyone says, "Any two healthy people/types can get along in a relationship!!" Though yeah.. a FWB situation with an ISTP I can imagine would be really fun.



Right?? She's a dream.
The whole retreat thing is something I am guilty of I have to admit, if you pursue me on the topic depending on how comfortable I am with you I'd talk it out, were these nursing hurts caused by the ISTP? Regardless of if they were anyway if I sensed I had done something wrong I would have definitely brought it up, whilst most conflict I just walk away from but if it's something I have done wrong, I'd fix it or at least try to.

Yeah for the most part we don't like conflict so if we felt hurt by something we more than likely wouldn't bring it up or even show we were hurt, this I think is what gives ISTPs that "robotic mystique".
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Just curious, is there any particular reason you're asking? Is there a new INFP in your life in some way?
Honestly I was just curious, I guess a reason for me asking would be that I can now get an understanding of where I stand with an INFP if I do end up with romantic inclinations towards one though. Which is always helpful.
 

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The whole retreat thing is something I am guilty of I have to admit, if you pursue me on the topic depending on how comfortable I am with you I'd talk it out, were these nursing hurts caused by the ISTP? Regardless of if they were anyway if I sensed I had done something wrong I would have definitely brought it up, whilst most conflict I just walk away from but if it's something I have done wrong, I'd fix it or at least try to.

Yeah for the most part we don't like conflict so if we felt hurt by something we more than likely wouldn't bring it up or even show we were hurt, this I think is what gives ISTPs that "robotic mystique".
I don't ever remember him doing anything actively to hurt me, but he was often really indifferent toward me sometimes which hurt my feelings. He also didn't really like going out and doing things I enjoyed. I took him to a poetry reading once and had to make him leave because he started laughing during a really dramatic read XD It was something I should have just shrugged off (and now that I'm in a healthier mental/emotional state, I would) but I took it really personally and he didn't understand why, which spiraled. That's the most specific example I can think of.

I think we cared about each other, but we had no idea how to communicate that to the other. I was offended by his indifference/coldness at times and he didn't always seem moved by my expressions of affection. If I had to guess, my thoughts were like "He's not listening to me when I need to talk about my emotions/needs, he's not outwardly expressive enough, etc, so he must not care about me" and his thoughts were probably like "She won't give me my space, won't let go of issues I don't understand why they're even issues, and probably doesn't respect me, so she must not care about me." So the initial infatuation could never grow to anything bigger. Kind of sad :(
 

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i fell for an istp..what happened was that we were really close and we did introverted things together, like video gaming or talking on the phone all night or watching weird movies on tv.
he seemed really clingy and needy, but at the same time he did his own things like ogle at women in titty bars which he went to sometimes.
one time we had a fight and i didnt speak to him. then when we spoke again he told me that it wasnt working out for him and bye bye.
he didnt really give me a reason, he just said ta-ta..

it was a very ...challenging experience for me. i felt like i was being skinned and vinegar was poured all over me. i guess i was pretty much attached (which i didnt really notice) and he didnt give me closure..

it took a long time and a lot of hard work to get over what happened.

so i feel like no i dont want to be with one again i wouldnt consider it. nope.

from what i observe he probably gathered a bunch of information about me, real or imagined, and just draw up a conclusion without even consulting me or asking me if it was true or not, (at least give me a benefit of the doubt) and made a decision out of nowhere all for his benefit.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I don't ever remember him doing anything actively to hurt me, but he was often really indifferent toward me sometimes which hurt my feelings.
I'm... again I confess am kind of like that, it scared me at one point and I kind of thought I didn't care about people because of my indifference but I soon realized that was not really the case.

An example being my cat, I'm not all happy and cheerful with her much at all depending on my mood, I am quite indifferent towards her but once she had this white stuff on her nose and I literally freaked out, I was researching all that could be wrong with her looking for different reasons, different afflictions and once I had calmed down and thought through my research, I came to the conclusion she had just stuck her nose in her litter box to smell her poop, which is apparently something cats do... :mellow:

He also didn't really like going out and doing things I enjoyed. I took him to a poetry reading once and had to make him leave because he started laughing during a really dramatic read XD It was something I should have just shrugged off (and now that I'm in a healthier mental/emotional state, I would) but I took it really personally and he didn't understand why, which spiraled. That's the most specific example I can think of.
I probably would have laughed too... not outright just on the inside, I could understand why you would take it personally though which is why I wouldn't have laughed outwardly, you don't have to shrug off everything he does just because he doesn't understand, he should take the time to understand which is what everybody should do in a relationship.

I think we cared about each other, but we had no idea how to communicate that to the other. I was offended by his indifference/coldness at times and he didn't always seem moved by my expressions of affection. If I had to guess, my thoughts were like "He's not listening to me when I need to talk about my emotions/needs, he's not outwardly expressive enough, etc, so he must not care about me" and his thoughts were probably like "She won't give me my space, won't let go of issues I don't understand why they're even issues, and probably doesn't respect me, so she must not care about me." So the initial infatuation could never grow to anything bigger. Kind of sad :(
I don't know how other ISTPs show they care but I when I think about it I, show I care by being there, if something is bothering my partner I'd be there with them, I may look indifferent on the outside but I'm there to understand what's wrong which is me caring about their well-being. Seeing something wrong with someone and wanting to understand what's wrong shows (to me anyway people obviously have different views), that I care about that person. I may not be the best to talk to about emotions, but I'll try.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
i fell for an istp..what happened was that we were really close and we did introverted things together, like video gaming or talking on the phone all night or watching weird movies on tv.
he seemed really clingy and needy, but at the same time he did his own things like ogle at women in titty bars which he went to sometimes.
one time we had a fight and i didnt speak to him. then when we spoke again he told me that it wasnt working out for him and bye bye.
he didnt really give me a reason, he just said ta-ta..

it was a very ...challenging experience for me. i felt like i was being skinned and vinegar was poured all over me. i guess i was pretty much attached (which i didnt really notice) and he didnt give me closure..

it took a long time and a lot of hard work to get over what happened.

so i feel like no i dont want to be with one again i wouldnt consider it. nope.

from what i observe he probably gathered a bunch of information about me, real or imagined, and just draw up a conclusion without even consulting me or asking me if it was true or not, (at least give me a benefit of the doubt) and made a decision out of nowhere all for his benefit.
Something must have been going on in his head I can only speculate on it though, he seems like a cheap coward to me though, whilst I do walk away from conflict I do face what I have done, if I was hurt in some way whilst I wouldn't show it I wouldn't just up and vanish, he just seems like a coward that didn't want any hardships in life, which I can understand but real courage is working through those hardships.

Would you consider an ISTP friend?
 

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I had something going on with an istp who I worked with. I really liked and admired him, and he seemed interested too, but things started to kind of fizzle out around the time he mentioned his girlfriend. I was devastated but felt that I couldn't talk about it or tell him that I liked him. I was confused about why he decided to tell me about her after a year of showing interest in each other. I wanted to get to know him more and continue being around him, but I figured since he mentioned her without trying to keep me in his life or making an effort, I should just let it go. I think communication might have been the problem. I didn't know how to bring anything up. I had no idea how he would respond to anything I wanted to say when it came down to expressing my feelings, so I just didn't and stopped being around him for good.

Now, it's been a year, and I still can't get over what happened. I'd like to reach out but I'm scared of being hurt. I'm considering it though just because I never met anyone like him before. We clicked in a lot of ways, and he seemed to anticipate what I wanted without me even asking him. Even though we weren't really friends or serious, he still had the biggest impact on my life than any guy as ever had. I wish there was something I could so that we could see each other and at least be friends.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
I had something going on with an istp who I worked with. I really liked and admired him, and he seemed interested too, but things started to kind of fizzle out around the time he mentioned his girlfriend. I was devastated but felt that I couldn't talk about it or tell him that I liked him. I was confused about why he decided to tell me about her after a year of showing interest in each other. I wanted to get to know him more and continue being around him, but I figured since he mentioned her without trying to keep me in his life or making an effort, I should just let it go. I think communication might have been the problem. I didn't know how to bring anything up. I had no idea how he would respond to anything I wanted to say when it came down to expressing my feelings, so I just didn't and stopped being around him for good.

Now, it's been a year, and I still can't get over what happened. I'd like to reach out but I'm scared of being hurt. I'm considering it though just because I never met anyone like him before. We clicked in a lot of ways, and he seemed to anticipate what I wanted without me even asking him. Even though we weren't really friends or serious, he still had the biggest impact on my life than any guy as ever had. I wish there was something I could so that we could see each other and at least be friends.
Can you still contact him in some way? Most ISTPs I know like people being forward with them, not to overly clingy but at least they know where they stand with a person, if you can contact him try opening up a friendship I know it's harder than it sounds but, if it was me I'd be like "Sure we can have drinks sometime." ISTPs are laid back by nature though some more so than others.
 
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