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Discussion Starter #1
I took this test here (the learn your love language button takes you to it) Discover Your Love Language - The 5 Love Languages®.

Out of a highest score of 12:

11 Quality Time
8 Physical Touch
7 Words of Affirmation
4 Acts of Service
0 Receiving Gifts

It's amusing to me that gifts are a total zero. My friends and family give me things and I politely thank them, but if they offer to spend time with me, and I can stretch that into hours (in fact my close friends that live hundreds of miles away, we often video chat and don't end until 2 or 3 am). I don't think they realize how much I enjoy their presence sometimes.

Physical touch is high, but it was more for the subtle questions that the test asked. I wouldn't say I go out of my way to hug others or have them in my arms, but keeping a hand on their shoulder, or leaning into them, the incidental touching, I think that's what I appreciate most.
 

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I took this test several years ago, i think. In order :

Words of affirmation
Quality time & acts of service (tied)
Physical touch
Receiving gifts

But my primary language of love for others (not for me) is giving gifts. Funny how it's my last (the receiving part)


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I'm also gifts last, which makes me laugh because this was a big point of contention between my mom and I growing up. 2w3 ESFP btw. I felt like she thought she could literally bribe me to love her, which as a 4 felt fake and desperate. I was partially at fault for these arguments because I would claim she didn't love me which is not true, but then her counterargument was "I buy you things" which in my head is the easiest love language to fake hence why it seemed like a moot point.

10 Quality Time
10 Words of Affirmation
5 Physical Touch
5 Acts of Service
0 Receiving Gifts
 

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I remember getting
11 Quality Time (top)
0 Gifts (last)

The other three I don't remember the exact punctuation but they were in this order positioned in 2nd, 3rd and 4th place between the other two:
- Acts of Service
- Words
- Touch

I literally feel pretty much nothing when people give me gifts, and I also often forget to give gifts. It's just not a thing on my radar. And if someone gifts me something, it better be practical, not for simple aesthetics or something. I also give functional gifts, or nothing.
 
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Quality Time is my highest score. I'd assumed it was going to be either Words Of Affirmation or Physical Touch.
 

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Your Scores
10Quality Time
9Acts of Service
6Receiving Gifts
5Words of Affirmation
0Physical Touch
 

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9 Physical Touch
8 Acts of Service
7 Quality Time
4 Words of Affirmation
2 Receiving Gifts
 

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MOTM January 2013
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8 Physical Touch
8 Quality Time
6 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
3 Receiving Gifts
 

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9 Quality Time
9 Words of Affirmation
5 Physical Touch
4 Acts of Service
3 Receiving Gifts
 

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1 time
2 touch
3 words of affirmation

Afermation can mean more or less depending on the person. Some people affirmation is useless, but the longer we're dating their words do tend to mean more. Although I do prefer written more than verbal. Seems more intimate, like a true inner thought.
 

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11Quality Time
8Physical Touch
5Acts of Service
4Receiving Gifts
2Words of Affirmation

I just took the test now, but I'm pretty sure this is the same order I got when I took it a few years ago. The thing about physical touch is that I really, really dislike it when strangers or people I don't know well touch or pat me. But if it's someone I care about, it does make me feel a lot closer to them. I wonder if that has anything to do with that being higher on the list or not.
 

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Wife and I are both acts of service. Although we like other things as well (pretty much everything but gifts).
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Quality time seems to be the general consensus, I wonder if other personality types have a general interest for other languages? The ISFPs I know really enjoy gifts, the SJs are acts of service, but I haven't observed enough to know about any others.
 

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Quality time seems to be the general consensus, I wonder if other personality types have a general interest for other languages? The ISFPs I know really enjoy gifts, the SJs are acts of service, but I haven't observed enough to know about any others.
Hm, I was actually looking into some other sites, but it's all similar to what you did here. It should be super interesting to compile everything and find correlation of the top two.

Little informal, but here is something more general http://personalitygrowth.com/how-each-myers-briggs-type-responds-to-the-love-languages/
 
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Discussion Starter #17
Hm, I was actually looking into some other sites, but it's all similar to what you did here. It should be super interesting to compile everything and find correlation of the top two.

Little informal, but here is something more general How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to the Love Languages
Ooh that's interesting! The ESTJ is spot on for my father, he loves physical affection, but sometimes I can be standoffish, I made sure to hug him this morning because he seemed a bit withdrawn from me the past few days, and I saw a smile appear on his face. :) The SPs didn't match as well, but I guess my sample size is pretty small haha.
 

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Learning about love languages has made me kinda sad. A few years ago I figured out I'm all about touch - a painful place to be when the people closest to you in life prefer quality time and acts of service. I just want to kiss and hug and shoulder rub and cuddle all day and I wind up annoying my SO with it which just makes me feel more insecure and clingy as a result.

We have had many talks about it of course and everything else is great between us (a minor miracle considering how anti-social and judgmental I can be with people in general) but it just messes with me that my needs and other peoples' needs are different. It makes me feel selfish when pushing for my needs or unfulfilled when focusing on others'. Human psychology is just a pain in the butt sometimes.
 

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I appreciate gifts more than the tests suggests, because many of my family members express affection that way. My best friend does also, and I understand her viewpoint that it shows you’re thinking about someone when they’re not around, that you know their tastes and are willing to spend your resources on them. There’s a kind of intimacy in that.

It’s not something I’d notice is lacking readily though.... for me, physical touch and quality time are the big ones, particularly for romance. I like to quote that Prince lyric here:
”I just want your extra time and your....mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah , KISS!”

Acts of service are noted by me, but I don’t think I express that way. It doesn’t give me the feeling of being “special” and particularly LIKED by someone. It can look like “duty” to me. Words can seem so empty. They can give me the warm fuzzies, but can veer into insincere flattery too easily. From a romantic partner, I want to hear that I’m beautiful or fascinating from time to time, but the quality time and a look or touch may communicate that even better.
 
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