Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
98 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So question...do INFPs typically initiate sex or wait for their partner to give them the go-ahead?

And on the same note, how important is sex to an INFP? Is it like 'nice to have, but I'm happy cuddling too', or a 'more sex!...I suppose we could cuddle too' sorta deal?

: )
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
24 Posts
I initiate sex but I prefer not to. I mostly do out of guilt because I know my partner has a high sex drive but for some reason doesn't initiate much herself. I just initiate to be a good partner. I would be happiest just cuddling.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,339 Posts
It depends I would prefer for the man to initiate,but sometimes a girl has to do what she has to do.Sex is very important to me,but i'm also a HUGE fan of cuddling.Also if a girl leaves a note at her work for you with obvious sexual inuendo in it,you SHOW UP or she will think you are rejecting her and may go into a downward spiral of low self-esteem and alcohol..just you know a warning.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
583 Posts
Making a sexual advance toward someone I'm not already intimate with would be a huge disaster. If I try to be bold, aggressive, and smooth, it usually results in me doing something that will cause me to be called "creepy", which is my least favorite word in the English language. For the purposes of initiation into intimacy, the few women who've had me have generally been the aggressors. I love sexually aggressive women and I always have. They tend to put me at ease by making me feel desired in the first place. In this case, I let them touch me first, because they will.

But if we're already initiated, I may take the reigns. I can't keep my hands off my girlfriend whenever I'm with her, so I'm usually cuddling, stroking, massaging, or nuzzling her in some way or another. Never to the point of an obnoxious PDA or anything comparable, but it is fairly constant. If we're apart (and we are most of the time) then it's constant instant sweet messaging or texting.

In private, of course, there are no limits. When I'm with her, I generally can't get enough of her. I usually have an erection whenever she's around, so I act accordingly. If she bends or leans over for any reason, I'll rush over and dry hump her just because. She then giggles and tells me she loves me. If she's at the counter or leaning over at her desk and I'm not, I'll periodically come up from behind to kiss her on the neck and nuzzle her. If I'm horny, I'll do this while squeezing her breasts, stroking her ass, slipping my hand into her shorts to find out how wet she is etc. I might even fuck her where she stands. I love fucking her.

I love how we miss each other when we've been apart for 20 minutes. I love talking with her until the morning hours, feeling her next to me, seeing her when I wake up, and showering with her. I love telling her I want to marry her without any trace of irony, and knowing she feels the same way. I love the way she looks, feels, smells, and tastes. I love being inside her. I feel like I could do this every day for eternity and never be bored.

By the dinosaur gods, I sometimes wonder if I was a goat or a breeding stallion in a former life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,350 Posts
I don't initiate sex, sex initiates me :D

Jokes aside I have nothing meaningful to contribute.
I only show strong signs of affection and push for it when i'm comfortable and that comes from knowing the interest is mutual. From there I feel fine though I wouldn't say i'm as pushy as one may want.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
607 Posts
If I'm in the mood, I initiate it. I prefer a man who initiates it with me, initially and at least sometimes after that. It makes me feel desired, and because I also prefer the man to be dominant most of the time. I enjoy the moment when things switch from cuddling or foreplay to desperate for each other. Sex is extremely important, crucial for a good relationship. Cuddling is great and intimate and I love it, but I wouldn't be satisfied in a relationship with only that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,365 Posts
This would be highly subjective depending on the preferences of the individual, their comfort levels with regards to intimacy etc.

Personally, sex for me is an experience as opposed to just a physical activity. So it would be very important. I also do love cuddling as well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,491 Posts
I don't initiate it. Generally I hate sex and prefer cuddling :3 I wouldn't do sex if I didn't had to so it's not important to me. Cuddles on the other hand... <3
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
24 Posts
If in the past I have had success initiating sex with that person then I will be more confident and blunt when asking for it. If however I am constantly rejected by that person, or they hold sex over my head as a reward, then I tend to wait around until the other person initiates. And to the women who hold sex over our heads as a reward. SCREW YOU!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,835 Posts
My partner generally initiates it, but sometimes I will. My general attitude towards sex is "It's nice to have, but I like cuddling too".

I think there's so much more to having a healthy sex life than what happens when you have sex, it's also about building trust and understanding in the relationship as a whole. I think without that foundation of trust and happiness in a relationship, it's very difficult to have a good sex life.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,581 Posts
So question...do INFPs typically initiate sex or wait for their partner to give them the go-ahead?
Depends. I'll initiate if I think she's in the same mood but I won't push it. If she never initiates I eventually lose interest.

And on the same note, how important is sex to an INFP? Is it like 'nice to have, but I'm happy cuddling too', or a 'more sex!...I suppose we could cuddle too' sorta deal?
Extremely important. Cuddling is great but I need both.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,140 Posts
I do tend to be the one to initiate. But I think it's because I'm so moody that my husband knows if I'm not in the mood, it's not worth trying to get me there. He can try, but it might take a lot of foreplay before I actually want to do anything.

Sex is important. At this moment in my life, I feel differently towards sex than I ever had. I used to be up for it pretty much any time. But for the last two years, I don't feel any desire any more. It depresses me a lot. I liked it better when I had a fun sex life. I wish my libido would come back. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is just a phase having to do with the hormones of pregnancy and lactating. I really want my old life back. :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,842 Posts
Wait for the "Go-ahead", out of respect for the lady. You see, I am not in it just for sex, and want to make it clear by not making a relationship about it. This means, however, that there may be miscommunication, since many other men like and make it clear they want to be sexual. I can be very much sexual if that's what she wants, but she must let me know somehow, and I must know we really care for each other. So it may be a hurdle if she expects me to be overtly sexually aggressive, thinking she's not "attractive enough", when in fact I am just respecting her boundaries and not treating her as a sex toy (making love is beautiful, though, but only a small part of the relationship). If she makes it clear, or at least hints it that way, I will be then a sweet lover to her, but for better or worse, she has to let me know somehow that's what she wants, so I don't feel I am using her (I.E. I make love, rather than have sex, so it's not about an animalistic urge for me.)

The above means:

-I'd never do it with people I know nothing about-casual sex and one night stands are not part of my lifestyle (don't feel judged, though.)

-As much as I believe that all types can be compatible with each other, granted that both individuals are mature and a good match for each other in many ways, I don't think most sensors will understand this (no offense), and indeed many wonderful intuitives may find the way I think "strange" and may still misinterpret my lack of "normal" sexual drive as me not having any interest in them. I may totally like/love someone, but without me knowing that am liked/loved back, and without the person letting me know it's OK to approach her that way, I just won't do it (the irony being that I actually have a pretty healthy sexual drive-it's just that I respect it a lot-as well as the lady-so as not to give it away just "for fun" or to merely please myself.) This is why I believe that in my case, a "conventional" lady, even if she's a wonderful human being, may totally misread my interest in her if she's expecting me to "go after her" sexually to "demonstrate" I fancy her-having dated a nice sensor a few years back (late 2010), I know the way I do things probably won't work for most of them, as well as with any other type that is used to dating as society usually prescribes it.

That said, if we really care for each other, and the link has already been established, then it will be very natural, so there's no need to even think about the stuff above. :) It's a matter of finding the right time to do it-I very much think that there's nothing wrong with caring/loving sex and that it actually strengthens the relationship in many ways. I was very afraid of touching and kissing as a young child, but nowadays I would relish the opportunity to love my sweet one, hugging, cuddling, and kissing as needed-and beyond.

Romantic INFP indeed. :p My apologies for those who are very different than me-it's OK for all of us to be ourselves.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
95 Posts
Sex is a sort of relationship barometer for me. It's fun and intimate, and a great workout; if it becomes a chore or falls off, if only one person is asking for it, if it's not as mutually pleasurable as it once was...something is probably off. For me to be happy I need getting and giving both..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,384 Posts
Speaking from a hypothetical point of view (shut up) I'm not too sure but I think, a majority of the time, I would be too shy to initiate and I would be afraid of imposing on my partner. Although maybe sometimes I would. And I would always ask for cuddles after sex. Always.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,835 Posts
After reading people's comments, I got curious...
I've never had sex, so I don't actually know how this works, but can't you have sex and cuddle at the same time? Wouldn't that make everyone happy?
You certainly can and it's recommended :) I think a good rule is not to have sex with someone who you can't cuddle with at the same time. It also tends to happen in phases, like you will start out having cuddly sex, then it gets crazy, then you go back to cuddling.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,365 Posts
After reading people's comments, I got curious...
I've never had sex, so I don't actually know how this works, but can't you have sex and cuddle at the same time? Wouldn't that make everyone happy?
Yes, its called cuddlef**king. (thats what I call it anyway) =)

Basically starts off with cuddling leads to foreplay leads to sex ends with cuddling again.
Rinse and repeat for maximum pleasure, or until both partners are so physically worn out that cuddling is the only option left. :laughing:
 
  • Like
Reactions: ficsci
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top