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what do you do when you are smitten by a stranger?

what do you do when you are smitten by a stranger?
and strangely enough, when you feel that the person has some elements that make you feel it's THE ONE!
do you take some risks and try to communicate / connect with that person?
or would you let go? if it doesn't happen naturally enough?
 

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Hmmm - tough one. I've made the move to communicate that before and it bit me in the butt. I find that some people don't share their feelings and others simply don't have any but it's hard to decipher. So, you can opt to be open about it and just maybe that "special someone" was simply holding back...but then again, maybe they don't feel anything at all. In any case, you get your answer and that is what you need!
 
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This has happened to me once, and the interest was mutual :sad: but I didn't act on it
They were expecting a hello I guess, they were sitting looking at me for a long while, but I was still too shy in those years and just stared into space..
I hope I meet the person again
 

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what do you do when you are smitten by a stranger?
and strangely enough, when you feel that the person has some elements that make you feel it's THE ONE!
do you take some risks and try to communicate / connect with that person?
or would you let go? if it doesn't happen naturally enough?
Hi Pacifique - i would get this feeling like - "the spark in your eyes set off fire to inextinguishable passion in my heart" as your signature says...then perhaps smile and start a conversation.

but even by seeing a stranger, a connection can happen - i would likely also be realistic about the situation. if the person is from another country, i may not try to start something - i have done that in the past, and i don't care to maintain long distance communication so that fizzled. but if the stranger is relatively close by, and in the proper age range, and there is something in common this is good.

a lot can be found out by observing strangers. in the initial phase of looking at the stranger, you'll know if it is the type of person you'll want to talk to. starting conversation is good, because i think initially i can feel that i want to, or need to talk to a person for whatever reason, and the surprise part, is what the result of the conversation is, but you never get to the surprise part if you don't initiate a conversation.

well actually i talk to all kinds of people, talking to strange people is a nice thing to do. i kind of find out new restaurant information, and find out stuff...

if you attempt to converse, then you'll have an idea right away, if the person will want to associate with you...or you can just enjoy the moment of the anticipation, and leave it at that, then that is nice too...i don't know it is an instinct thing, i imagine you'll know what to do in that very moment :)
 

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what do you do when you are smitten by a stranger?
and strangely enough, when you feel that the person has some elements that make you feel it's THE ONE!
do you take some risks and try to communicate / connect with that person?
or would you let go? if it doesn't happen naturally enough?
I see I didnt answer your question o_o;
Well when it happened for me (I realise it happened twice actually), I did not really think anything when I saw the person. It was very comfortable and natural, more so than usual when I'm around other strangers.. This is what I notice for a person I end up liking. They have a kind of harmless, almost-not-even-there vibe.. And I grow to like the person the more I see them. I think this is the best actually and I fall much harder than for others
I don't really think about meeting the One. My situation's a bit finicky than that.. First I have to find out what orientation they are hahaha. It is a long process you see...

I haven't taken any risks to communicate with the person, it has always happened naturally. It always develops. I find a lot of the communication is done without speaking. Body language, mannerism etc.

And on another note, there have been times when I'm smitten by a stranger..but it's purely physical or maybe it is. I usually just look at them. I don't really pursue these because I have no idea what the person is like, that I am just going by the face... I have made a number of mistakes by going with the surface actually in the past (for making friends)...
 

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I see I didnt answer your question o_o;
Well when it happened for me (I realise it happened twice actually), I did not really think anything when I saw the person. It was very comfortable and natural, more so than usual when I'm around other strangers.. This is what I notice for a person I end up liking. They have a kind of harmless, almost-not-even-there vibe.. And I grow to like the person the more I see them. I think this is the best actually and I fall much harder than for others
I don't really think about meeting the One. My situation's a bit finicky than that.. First I have to find out what orientation they are hahaha. It is a long process you see...

I haven't taken any risks to communicate with the person, it has always happened naturally. It always develops. I find a lot of the communication is done without speaking. Body language, mannerism etc.

And on another note, there have been times when I'm smitten by a stranger..but it's purely physical or maybe it is. I usually just look at them. I don't really pursue these because I have no idea what the person is like, that I am just going by the face... I have made a number of mistakes by going with the surface actually in the past (for making friends)...
Linus you sly fox!

Hey.

quick question. when trying to determine someone's orientation what are the "clues" you look for.
because I am from america and I see your from europe? right?

anyway. I was wandering about cultural differences.
would that have an affect?
 

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Hi Pacifique - i would get this feeling like - "the spark in your eyes set off fire to inextinguishable passion in my heart" as your signature says...then perhaps smile and start a conversation.

but even by seeing a stranger, a connection can happen - i would likely also be realistic about the situation. if the person is from another country, i may not try to start something - i have done that in the past, and i don't care to maintain long distance communication so that fizzled. but if the stranger is relatively close by, and in the proper age range, and there is something in common this is good.

a lot can be found out by observing strangers. in the initial phase of looking at the stranger, you'll know if it is the type of person you'll want to talk to. starting conversation is good, because i think initially i can feel that i want to, or need to talk to a person for whatever reason, and the surprise part, is what the result of the conversation is, but you never get to the surprise part if you don't initiate a conversation.

well actually i talk to all kinds of people, talking to strange people is a nice thing to do. i kind of find out new restaurant information, and find out stuff...

if you attempt to converse, then you'll have an idea right away, if the person will want to associate with you...or you can just enjoy the moment of the anticipation, and leave it at that, then that is nice too...i don't know it is an instinct thing, i imagine you'll know what to do in that very moment :)
The more I read your posts the more I like you. :laughing:
 
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Linus you sly fox!

Hey.

quick question. when trying to determine someone's orientation what are the "clues" you look for.
because I am from america and I see your from europe? right?

anyway. I was wandering about cultural differences.
would that have an affect?
Sorry :blushed: Actually I live in the country above you (^^
I'm just being paranoid.. but everything else on my profile is real
Birthplace is Manila :)

Still a really great question I'd like to answer anyway..
I think the differences might be slight
Like you always have flamers and then ones who can pass for straight, which is the biggest challenge..

In the philippines, gossip is an epidemic lol.. so you will easily hear from the person's friend if they are gay or not (and you don't even need to be friends with the friend and you don't even need to ask)
I have witnessed this for a person who was still in the closet.. :bored: Made me quite angry at the friend..
This happened in Canada..
Every Filipino knows another Filipino or family who adamantly stay out of the filipino circles because of this illness..I guess we are very group-oriented.. and extroversion is held very high

In Canada, my experience is it's easy to have a private life if you stay out of certain circles
So it's more of a challenge
but I think some boys who can pass for straight, once you are around them a long time or for a whole day they always fuck up somewhere lol... like I know sometimes when I stir a cup of cocoa my wrist looks funny :crazy: I never know when it happens
And then there are some guys where it's impossible.. and I've found it becomes clearer once you live with them or visit their home.. People think I'm gay instantly because of the music I listen to or what I'm eating, how I'm cooking, what colours I like, all the things I do... But I'm in touch with a lot of activities that are probably considered feminine... I don't know any straight guy who goes as far as I do (or female for that matter!).

Actually I'm very worried that this guy I met might be straight :sad: Personality wise he seems good to be a friend though. So good in fact I would risk it and see.
I often get approached by guys, but maybe they think I'm a certain kind of person..
It's one reason I want to make my own clothes, so that in a way I can wear my personality on my sleeve
I have had a man come smile at me on the bus and sit beside me, and he was clearly going to say something BUT when he sat down, i saw him distinctly see that I was holding a Vintage Vogue Sewing book :crazy: and he just ran off... soooo silly... I think that's a really good example of using appearance to your advantage. I also had a gay man say hi to me for the same reason.
 

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I'd like to know if you have some tricks too, GreenCoyote
If someone ever approaches me, I simply frown and say...

"what are you doing? I approach you. YOU do NOT approach me. ...idiot."

I am way better than some people, and they should know it.
Do you approach strangers?
Does it matter to you if you can tell what orientation they have --I'm asking this last question for dating and for making friends
 

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The more I read your posts the more I like you. :laughing:
why thank you Rube, and happy birthday to you, lots of *kisses*

i don't recall if i sent you a thank you before, but you always say nice things, and cheer me up, and i wanted to post something, but sometimes i get really "in my head" and i imagine doing something intensely and i "think" i have done it, when i may not have...

anyhow it's Sat night, i'm certain you are getting ready for a party...hope all is going nicely on your special day :)

i'll be sure to spend more time visiting ENFP forum to find out more about them.

to bring us back to topic, would you, Rube, approach a stranger, what would you say?

have you seen or met "THE ONE"? hehehe

maybe not at your age, but just thought to inquire :)
 

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why thank you Rube, and happy birthday to you, lots of *kisses*

i don't recall if i sent you a thank you before, but you always say nice things, and cheer me up, and i wanted to post something, but sometimes i get really "in my head" and i imagine doing something intensely and i "think" i have done it, when i may not have...

anyhow it's Sat night, i'm certain you are getting ready for a party...hope all is going nicely on your special day :)

i'll be sure to spend more time visiting ENFP forum to find out more about them.

to bring us back to topic, would you, Rube, approach a stranger, what would you say?
Why thank you for the kind words Female :laughing: My special day is going quite well, and yes I'm getting ready to go out.

If I saw a stranger I was smitten by, I most likely wouldn't approach them. This would be different if we were in a contained environment (class, coffee shop) and chances are I'd see them again. HOWEVER, I have been known to approach complete strangers if I thought they were REALLY cute. Chances are I'll try to say something funny, or just say hello. This usually happens after I've been observing them for a while, trying to find something to talk about.
 

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I wouldn't think a stranger was "the one" but they certainly could turn out to be "the one" when you get to know them... but how will you ever know if you don't approach them.
In my younger years (note, I'm only 22 now) I would have passed it up and let it go. But life is too short and too long to do that. You can only gain from approaching someone, in my opinion. And even if they aren't the one, you could gain a friend. Most of all, however, I think it is important to make decisions based on what you want/need/is good for you rather than fear. No matter what this other person says or does, you'll have grown from it and proven to yourself that it is something that you can do. This will also make these situations a bit easier each time you do it. Just my view on it :tongue:
 

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The whole mutual interest feeling has happened once and I am trying hard to take a chance, allow myself to be vulnerable and connect with them. So far it's working, but I'm not sure if it will result in anything long lasting. Only time will tell :S

That's with strangers online though. Most of the time it is unrequited, and irl I'm too shy to approach or I'll only come across like a friendly acquiantance.
 

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I wouldn't think a stranger was "the one" but they certainly could turn out to be "the one" when you get to know them... but how will you ever know if you don't approach them.
In my younger years (note, I'm only 22 now) I would have passed it up and let it go. But life is too short and too long to do that. You can only gain from approaching someone, in my opinion. And even if they aren't the one, you could gain a friend. Most of all, however, I think it is important to make decisions based on what you want/need/is good for you rather than fear. No matter what this other person says or does, you'll have grown from it and proven to yourself that it is something that you can do. This will also make these situations a bit easier each time you do it. Just my view on it :tongue:
Yes, I'm starting to feel the same way. Most of my "experiments" lately haven't ended very well, but perhaps one day they will.

While we're talking about approaching strangers, are you single? :tongue:
 

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Lol no problem! Just getting some practice :tongue:
 

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Look's like Rube is on the hunt for a INFJ female.:tongue:
"And now you do what they taught ya, now you're under control"
 
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